Another chapter…and fastyfast! Thanks for all the quick and great reviews everyone.
Bambola: Yay! I'm glad you're back. Thought I'd lost you for a second! ;)
Thanks everyone for the know-how about Vietnam War injuries. Oh, we shall see what happens. Muhahah!
XXXX
I used to be so carefree and jolly
But now it seems always melancholy
Something's wrong cause I'm always wasted
Something's gone and I just got to face it
I got to change the way that I'm living…
Cut down on the dope and the drinkin'
I think I might even give up the thinking…
--The Real Tuesday Weld
XXXX
Ponyboy's POV
"Merry Christmas, Kid." I looked up to see Crock standing over me with a paper-wrapped bundle. "This came for you."
"Thanks." I reached up and took it from him.
"Dinner'll be served soon. So come on down to the mess hall when you're finished," Crock said, giving me a small smile. "We're in for a real treat tonight. I hear we're having steak." He waggled his eyebrows.
"Must be the holiday spirit," I said hoarsely and then broke into a raging cough. My hands flew to my mouth, trying to keep it back. Crock frowned and knelt down to my cot.
"You feel up for coming?"
"'Course. I'm pretty much better."
Crock gave me a doubtful look and then slapped the edge of the cot. "Take your time. We'll see you down there."
I stretched out on my cot and tried to breath easily. It figured that I wouldn't get shot or killed while on duty, but that I had come down with pneumonia as soon as I got back to camp. "You just couldn't stay out of trouble, could you?" Crock had asked me slyly when I was in the infirmary, hacking up God knows what.
Turning on my side, I reached under my cot and pulled out a jumbo-sized bottle of aspirin. I poured out ten or so and chewed them up, my head leaning back heavily against my pillow.
My eyes flicked to the meager strings of Christmas lights; the only evidence that it was Christmas over here. I couldn't believe I had been gone so long.
We were back at base camp after a month's field duty; the month that AJ and Tom had gotten killed. Thankfully, the rest of our squad had made it back in one piece.
I ripped the package open. In it was "Gone with the Wind", a few new books and some letters. I smiled and eagerly tore the letters open.
Pony,
Here is the book you asked for. It took me forever to find it. Since you're not around Soda doesn't see the need to clean the bedroom anymore. It's the only room in the house that should have a biohazard sign posted on it…
I chuckled at Darry's humorous attempt and kept reading.
…Nothing special is going on for the holidays. The guys chipped in to get you some new books to read. Just in case you get bored with "Gone with the Wind." Hope you enjoy the Christmas present. I wish it could be more.
I know it's hard over there, but don't give up. We all want you home.
Merry Christmas,
Darry
I glowered at the letter and Darry's desperate tone. Hell, the night I had wrote it-after AJ's death-I had been pretty desperate myself. It was my own dumbass fault. I knew as soon as I had sent out my previous letter that it was going to scare them.
"Stupid, stupid," I muttered.
Kid,
Don't blame me if the books stink. I wanted to get you either comics or porn, but surprise, surprise, your older brother wouldn't have it. If you ask me he just wanted to keep them for himself.
I think my mom is going to invite Darry and Soda over for Christmas dinner. I don't really care, it will mean less for me to eat, but whatever makes her happy. Besides, I'm sure Chelsea will use the opportunity to put the moves on Soda. You should see her; she is all legs and no sense. Sisters.
You better get your ass home soon. I'm now beginning to realize that you kept things interesting around here.
Two-bit
Tearing open the next letter…
Hey Pony,
Sorry for the grease stains, I'm at work on my lunch break and am just grabbing a quick chance to write you.
I would say Merry Christmas, except it's not so merry with you not here.
Don't listen to Darry about the room. It is fine. He just wants to rag on me so he doesn't have to tell you any news about himself. Did he tell you he's dating a Soc? Some girl he met…he's roofing her father's house. They've only been on a few dates. I don't know what I think of her yet. Except that she's a Soc.
I picked the new book out we sent you. "The Count of Monte Cristo". I don't know why, but I thought you'd like it. Maybe one day I'll read, "Gone with the Wind", just to see what all the fuss is about.
P.S. Don't mention to Darry that I told you about his girlfriend.
Sodapop
Steve's letter didn't even begin with a greeting.
Kids are starting to ask questions about you at school now. Since Two-bit's not around any more that means I have to cover your ass. Not that I mind…you're not off jerking around…you're actually putting yourself to good use.
Forget I said that. Shit kid, I'm even a prick in my letters. I guess you knew that though. All along. Soda'd be smart to listen to you.
I don't know what I'm doing these days. Evie wants to get married and I am not a big fan of that. I don't think anyone is really. Who knows maybe you'll come back home and I'll be hitched with a brat on the side. Christ. I really hope not. Ya know, I think I just stay with Evie because we remind Soda of him and Sandy. It's not something I wanna bust up, ya savvy?
Anyways…don't expect that this is gonna change anything. I'm still a shit you know.
Steve
Steve didn't have much faith in himself, I thought. He tried too hard to be an asshole. I'd have to call him on it when I got home. I laughed aloud at my cocky thoughts and then at picturing a showdown between Steve and me while my shocked brothers looked on. The laugh turned into a vicious hacking and I doubled over, waiting for it to subside.
"Anything good in those?" a voice asked. It was Sergeant Caplan. He stood in the doorway of the tent and nodded at the letters in my hand.
"Just stuff from home," I said hoarsely. Caplan swaggered in, although I noticed he looked worried. "What's wrong?" I asked.
He clucked his tongue. "I tried to stall for some more time." I stared at him, confused. "Until you got better," he explained. "But they wouldn't do it. We leave tomorrow for some sort of attack mission in Southern Vietnam. Them damn Charlie's are really letting us have it." Laughing bitterly, Caplan shook his head.
"It's fine. I shouldn't get special treatment anyways." I tried to speak up as forcefully as I could. The sergeant's blue eyes twinkled and his serious face evaluated mine. He almost looked embarrassed at his concern for me.
"Whatever you say Curtis. I don't know who you're trying to fool with that act of yours. But you can cut the shit. You're sick and I'm just trying to look out for you."
Shoot, I thought miserably. I have enough people trying to look out for me. I knew I was in danger over here, but suddenly I was furious. Everyone, everywhere kept trying to look out for me. And it pissed me off.
Wasn't this enough?
Caplan must have seen my face, for he backed up and said, "Get ready for tomorrow Curtis," in a detached voice. Angrily, I blinked away warm tears, biting the insides of my cheeks. The tears dripped on the letters, smearing the black ink.
"Goddammit!" I yelled and threw "Gone with the Wind" across the room. It smacked the radio and sent them both toppling to the ground.
I felt like shit, both physically and emotionally. Was it wrong to think I would have to die to prove my point to everyone? I wasn't afraid anymore. I wasn't naïve.
Now I was just frustrated.
I was here and I was doing what I had to do. Simple as that.
XXXX
I know, this chapter didn't really go anywhere…but it's a segue way into better things to come.
Besides, I could post really long chapters that may take forever to write…or just small chapters as the inspiration comes! ;)
Hope you enjoyed!
