Disclaimer : I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.
"Why are you still fucking here?" Levi growled.
"Just making sure my nephew doesn't make my niece go against my orders."
Again, Kenny had showed his face—and even though this was the only second time seeing him, Levi already felt like punching him and that irksome smug look off his face.
After the little dispute that Mikasa had with Levi, she had rushed into her room, shut the door and collapsed onto her bed, with tears coursing down her cheeks which slowly began to drench the sheets.
Why did I say that? Why did I remind him of Farlan and Isabel? Why did I…?
Just the thought of those two had given her own heart grief, too. They were just as much as a family to her as they were to Levi after all.
She remembered how Isabel would pinch her cheeks and started to babble on and on how adorably cute she was at that time before proceeding to braid her hair. She remembered how Farlan taught her the game of chess like its necessary skills, knowledge and its tricks. But even then, she had never once beaten him in a game.
Hanging around them made her life as a child more… fun and easier. It made her feel more relaxed and happier, especially after her tiresome and strenuous training sessions with Kenny. Those were good times; good times that she had naively believed were going to last forever.
They were the only ones that ever befriended them—that ever got so close to them. And yet, up till their last breath, they never knew who they really were. It was a tragedy, but perhaps in some twisted sense it was for the best for them to die, unaware and ignorant.
Now, Farlan and Isabel could only remain in her and Levi's memory and heart.
Slowly, Mikasa sat up and wiped away her tears. "Why am I even crying…?" She scolded herself frustratedly. She was the one who brought it up and lashed it out on Levi who she was aware that he only became exasperated at her because he didn't want the last person he considered as family to die by the hands of the surface.
She started to recall what Levi said earlier in their dispute—how he had called her dream foolish. As reluctant as Mikasa was to admit, she knew that deep down, what he said was true. However, her obstinacy refused to shut out and abandon that dream for good. A dream about living peacefully with an abundance of fresh air for her to breathe, with healthy bright green fields of grace and vibrant clusters of flowers for her to roam in before taking shade under a large tree that had leaves broad enough to block out the beautiful sunlight. That must be what a life full of Freedom felt like.
Whereas, there was the underground that felt so cramped and suffocating. The only source of light were from the torches lit around, hanging lanterns or something else man-made. Otherwise, there was barely any natural sunlight that shone through. There was also little to no greenery and the air always had some sort of unpleasant stench. Down here, people existed and survived. They didn't live.
Freedom was something that lived and danced in her imagination. Freedom must be life without being confined by something so insidiously corrupt ingrained in her genetics, right? A life without having bloodlust seemed like a step forward towards freedom.
She wished to escape this cage. She wished to live a normal life, one that didn't involve killing or becoming a monster. She desired a normal life for both her and her brother without the need to worry about their bloodlust. And maybe it was because her desire was so strong, she couldn't bring herself to openly admit that such a dream was foolish, silly and childish even if deep down, she knew it was; It was conflicting. She still held onto what little hope she had, while Levi had lost it all. Albeit admittedly, there were moments that made her grip onto hope loosen and waver.
Even her bloodlust wasn't even considered 'normal', it was more of … unstable and abnormal than usual, as what Kenny described. Mikasa found it painfully humorous how the world had cursed her even more by gifting her a more uncontrollable and deranged bloodlust than normal.
Because of her unstable bloodlust, Mikasa wasn't allowed to take on any jobs on the surface. Kenny didn't want her to start a ruckus. Instead, he would normally handle surface-related business by himself or, if he was too busy, assign it to Levi. She handled most things underground… and if it involved killing, it had to involve Levi to watch her.
She hated it. She hated being a burden to him. She hated being the runt of the pack.
The raven then heaved a heavy sigh. I should apologise to him, she thought—but by no means did she plan to submit to him. She still wanted to do the mission. It wasn't just because of her dream, but she also didn't want Levi to face the consequences of Kenny if he had found out that he made Mikasa reject the mission.
If Kenny wanted her to go, she had to go. He was their boss, their clan leader (even if there was only three of them left) and he always had the final say.
She dried the last of her tears before slowly getting back up. However, just as she was about to leave her room, her ears had picked up on vicious sounding whispers that seemed about to erupt into shouts from below. Her curiosity and suspicion having been piqued, she took a glimpse out of her window—to which, only caused her eyes to widen at the commotion happening downstairs.
To say the least, it didn't take her long to rush downstairs to meet a pair of familiar faces.
Kenny cackled when Levi's expression had twisted into disgust upon witnessing his face once again. Perhaps that wasn't the right reaction that he should have had—but it was just too hard for him not to feel amused whenever he'd see his nephew's pissed-off expressions. "Don't give me that look." He sneered before continuing, "I was right, wasn't I? Yer' tried to force the other brat to not take on the mission?"
"It was for her own good. What were you fucking thinking? Sending her for a mission that is on the surface and involves royalty." Levi was on the verge of snapping, but kept his anger as quiet as he could, not wanting to draw in any unwanted attention. And as obvious as it was, he didn't seem to give two shits about what Kenny would do to him in response to his refusal. Granted, Kenny was intimidating in several aspects. However, Levi who unlike Mikasa, never really felt too threatened by him—just irritated.
Levi never understood Kenny. He could be ruthless in one moment, tolerable the next and sometimes even nice, though in a very shitty way. While Levi (reluctantly) admitted that there were moments where he was nice, those moments rapidly declined after the discovery of Mikasa's crazier bloodlust for whatever reason.
He wasn't the best role-model, though it wasn't as if he bothered trying to act as a parent, or a replacement parent for that matter. He was just a mentor to them. A merciless mentor at that. For one thing, he had nearly killed both him and Mikasa when they had once attempted to stray away from the bloody path that was forced upon them.
Admittedly, Kenny wasn't completely heartless… sort of. Levi had seen worse around the streets of the underground. The only times when things got especially violent with him was either when they would severely disobey him or during their strict and arduous training sessions which got harsher after each of their first bloodlust outbreak.
Levi didn't exactly love Kenny as his guardian or at all, the slightest idea of that made him feel nauseated. Yet, he didn't exactly resent him to the core either. What he did resent of him was the secrets he kept and most of all, the blatant lies he made.
If he didn't want their bloodlust to go mad, why did he make them continue this way of life of killing—even after their first outbreak?
Levi had once asked that, and his answer only infuriated him more—because it wasn't the answer he wanted, but an answer to avoid—an obvious lie. "It is because yer' born an Ackerman. This is how we live. Plus, survival skills. It's for yer' own good, especially since we're living in the underground." Kenny had once responded.
'For yer' own good.' He had said—and till now, Levi still called bullshit to that. What good was there in killing people?
He was more than sure was that if he and Mikasa weren't the children of Kuchel—to whom was his sister that he actually seemed to care for, he wouldn't have cared about their 'own good' and would've most likely let them rot to death.
Sure, the lives that he took were never exactly innocent—but in this messed up, shitty world, was there anyone who was innocent at all? An adult lying to their beloved partner. A child lying to his or her friends. Aren't those sinful things to do? Non-innocent acts?
Not to mention, there were more humane ways to handle these things. So why brutally strip them of their lives?
It didn't make sense. Then again, in Levi's eyes, the only sense Kenny had was bullshit nonsense.
So why? Why listen and obey him and not try to escape again?—that was because Kenny had always made sure that they didn't have a choice. He made sure that both Levi and Mikasa know the consequences of going against the 'Ackerman Nature'.
And what was his excuse for his controlling ways? Simple. It was the same old lie and lame excuse, 'for yer' own good'.
"About to snap, yer' brat?" Kenny scoffed as he continued, "Do yer' not have faith in your own sister?" He suddenly asked.
"I never said that." Levi hissed, "It's dangerous. In fact, you're the one who forbade her from taking on surface-related missions in the first place. You are the one who has no faith in her."
Instead of giving a verbal response, Kenny only gave a shrug that agitated Levi even more. "It's not like she has a problem with it." He remarked, before his head tilted towards the left upon sensing a familiar presence approaching them, "Why don't you ask her?"
Levi turned, only to see a shadowy figure that soon emerged from the dark, revealing to be Mikasa. He frowned. He didn't want her here, not now and not when he was in the middle of ensuring her dangerous, foolish dream wouldn't become a reality. "What are you doing here?" Mikasa queried Kenny with a certain caution, before forcing her eyes to make contact with Kenny's.
Unlike Levi, Mikasa felt intimidated by his presence for the most part. Since her bloodlust was more unstable, the trainings she had with him after her first outbreak were much more torturous—they were excruciating. They sometimes left her traumatised. If it weren't for Levi's comfort and assurance, she probably would've been mad by now. And because sinher bloodlust outbreak happened at a much earlier age—something that Kenny called abnormal, her trainings became harsher too soon, when she was still so young. But it couldn't be helped, those harsh ways of discipline was what made her just a little bit more in control.
However as unfortunate as it was, no matter how relentless or useful those trainings were in containing Mikasa's bloodlust—it was never enough to stabilize it completely.
"Just checkin' that's all." He replied, "Yer' have no problem in doing this mission, do yer'?" He asked, and Mikasa shook her head. "No I don't."
"Mika—" Before Levi could finish his sentence, Kenny had immediately cut him off with a threat. "If yer' dare interfere anymore brat, I will make sure yer' won't even be able to go with her and replace yer' with Traute instead… or better, let her go alone."
Levi bit back his tongue, cursing under his breath. "Why can't you go, though?" Mikasa suddenly questioned. It didn't sound rude or threatening in any sort of way, just curiosity in her tone as well as some suspicion.
Kenny arched his brow and snorted, "Just because of yer' politeness—unlike some rude brat—I'll tell ya'" He started as he shot one last glare at Levi, which Levi didn't hesitated to reciprocate, before he continued, "I bet yer' haven't even read the documents I tossed at ya'. But never mind that. A quick summary of what this important customer wants is for y'all to get something from the royal family. Yer' see, apparently that castle has some secret lair that, supposedly, only the royalty knows about and can access. I want yer' to get close to the prince so yer' can hopefully find where that lair is. And once yer' do, inform me… y'all should know where to find an Ackerman, by now. We'll ransack the place and leave. Now, I would loveeee to do this mission." He purposefully emphasised before continuing, "But unfortunately, the castle is too big for me alone or even for a small group to search… it'd waste too much time. And I have other shit to handle, more important shit. Plus, the security of that shitty place is especially higher now since that ball and nineteenth royal birthday gala shit is coming soon. Assassinating the Prince or kidnapping him is not an option… for several, annoying shitty reasons." He groaned, scratching the back of his head. Both Mikasa and Levi doubted he'd go into and elaborate on said shitty reasons. "The easiest, efficient and non-troublesome way to do this would be for Mikasa to go undercover, seduce, and find that secret lair. That way, less blood would be spilled, probably."
Levi flinched at the word 'seduce'. By no means was he going to allow Mikasa go through with that sort of crap. He was surprised that Kenny even suggested that, given Kuchel's past. The idea of the prince ogling at Mikasa with filthy eyes left him unsettled. He had saw several pairs of filthy eyes before when he was younger, when he still lived with his mother. The image of those men with filthy eyes and corrupted minds were permanently and painfully etched into his memory, those scums who gave his mother more sadness and despair with each passing dreadful night.
"…Why suddenly get involve with royalty? Who is this customer?" Mikasa questioned once more, pushing her luck. Similar to Levi, she had found it hard to believe that a man like Kenny would've been so easily swayed by money or anything at all to get involved with royalty. Especially when he had not only openly expressed his resentment towards them, but also warned and even threatened the both of them time and time again, to never get involved with them.
Much to Mikasa's unluckiness, it didn't seem like Kenny was in the mood to entertain her questions anymore. He gave a half-hearted shrug before switching the topic, "The ball is in a few months. Yer' have very little time to learn the royal customs… but a smart brat like yer' won't have any trouble… Traute will be coming later to help prepare you for the ba—."
"Who said I agreed to her going? Seduce the fucking prince? Are you kidding me?" Levi abruptly lashed out, and before he could have continued, Mikasa gripped his shoulder tightly, urging him to stop.
"That isn't your choice to make…" She murmured quietly as her obsidian orbs took a brief glance at Levi before she continued, "Neither is it mine." She said as her eyes now averted her gaze from Levi and to Kenny who gave a nod.
"Listen to yer' sister. She's right." He shrugged just slightly before he turned around and began to walk away, towards the shadows. "Now or later, brat. Don't make me have to force yer'. We wouldn't like that now, would we?"
After Kenny left, neither Levi nor Mikasa made any attempt of chasing after him. It would be useless and a waste of energy for them to chase a mad-man like him who was unwilling to give any actual answers.
As the siblings went back into their home, silence had engulfed them. Well, that was until younger raven out of the two had decided to speak. "Levi. I know you're worried—"
"Worried? I—"
"Listen to me." Mikasa sharply interrupted. "I know you're worried. But it'll be fine. I won't lose control or do anything reckless, I promise… and it's not like I will have to engage in any violence up there anyway. Besides, you'll be there, right?" She reasoned.
Levi sighed and ran his hand through his hair, still unconvinced. "…Mikasa, What if—"
"There will be no what ifs." She said, cutting him off before proceeding to speak, "and it's not like we—…it's not like I have a choice." She corrected quickly, remembering that this mission was only compulsory for her, and not him. But of course, it wasn't like Levi would want to let his sister venture up to the surface, alone. "Kenny always gets what he wants in his own way. Now or later." She reminded.
"…don't have a choice, huh?" Levi murmured under his breath, scoffing slightly. That's right, we never had a choice. He thought.
"…You know," He spoke, and suddenly Mikasa found him and his tone fragile, "…that dream is only going to be temporary. You're not going to be able to stay on the surface forever. It's a foolish th—"
"I know." Mikasa responded softly. She was already fully aware of that. "That's okay. Even if it's just for a little while, it's okay."
"…You can't even live 'normally' while you're up there, you're acting as a princess. People are still going to treat you differently. People are going to watch your every move."
"I know." She repeated, "That's okay. I… just want to go above, to breathe in the fresh air… to see the sky one more time...but more importantly, we have to complete the mission."
"…You might have to seduce the prince." Levi grumbled, the idea of that just aggravated him. He didn't like it.
"That's not going to happen." Mikasa assured. Truth be told, Levi wasn't the only one who was revolted by that idea. But unlike him, she preferred to not be so open about her disgust or objection in front of Kenny. "I won't let him get too close to me. Besides, if he dares to even touch me in that sort of way, I'd probably commit a national crime before you get your chance to kill him." She joked light-heartedly, "And I'm sure Kenny wouldn't want that. All he wants is the location of this 'secret lair'. I don't think he cares how we do it as long as no blood is spilled and ensure that no chaos would erupt."
There was another momentary silence. Levi bit his lip, closed his eyes and heaved a heavy sigh. Now or later, huh? He thought.
And finally, he resigned. "Fine…but if you feel like you're about to snap, tell me, alright? Then we'll retreat. I can't risk you having a bloodlust outbreak up there… Is that a deal?"
Mikasa nodded, relieved that he gave in. Who knows what would have happened to him if he had continued to rebel against Kenny? She wasn't willing to find out.
"Alright… I won't let that happen though… and also…" She trailed off briefly as her tone became softer. "…I'm sorry. About earlier."
Her apology caught Levi by surprise. When she reached her teenage years, it became rare for her to be the first one to apologise if she felt like it wasn't her who was in the wrong. Then again, it was also rare for Levi to be the first to apologise as well if they ever fought, since he wasn't the best at handling, mediating or even approaching the awkwardness of the situation after. How they resolved their quarrels was beyond his understanding.
The the guilt behind her apologetic eyes that Levi saw was enough of an explanation as to why apologised first. As a result, his own eyes softened in a brotherly manner, before shaking his head as he apologised sincerely in return, "It's okay. We both lost our temper… I'm sorry as well."
The atmosphere between them still felt… heavy. And again, there was another moment of silence between them until Levi had coughed abruptly, causing the raven to tilt her head in confusion and wear a look of concern.
"…Since when did you become so tall? Little gloomy brat." Levi suddenly commented after he looked up towards her. Time flew by too fast, he remembered how little his sister once was, and now she was taller than him. There was no hiding the fact that that aspect of Mikasa did annoy him, especially when she was supposed to be the younger one.
Though, he hoped that his out-of-place comment would lighten the heavy mood, considering she had always found the aspect of their height difference funny; Levi found it shitty.
However, Mikasa only rolled her eyes before giving him a nudge, "Shut up, shortass." She taunted back, with a small, soft laugh that followed after.
…
The following day, Traute came and it was time for Mikasa's 'royal' training to start.
Time flew by, and in a blink of an eye, March 30th came—Prince Eren Jaeger's birthday. And ironically, everyone at his grand celebration was having a joyous time… everyone but him.
The birthday boy had been sitting down on his throne wearily, staring blankly at the Princesses and other wealthy aristocrats or close partners make chit-chat below. He could have joined them. He could have made an effort to stand up, walk down the few steps upon descending from his throne and take part in his birthday celebration. But he didn't want to. He knew engaging in a conversation with any of them would be boring or rather, repetitive.
After all, they were all here for one thing.
"It's an honour to meet you, Prince Eren of Paradis." A princess greeted before bowing politely towards the prince after making her entrance into the room. Her voice seemed to have snapped the prince out of his daze, albeit it wasn't enough to wipe that exhausted expression off his face. Though, before Eren could return her courtesy, he noticed how she began to move closer towards him—too close.
Ah, this again. Eren thought, already guessing what she was attempting to do; she wouldn't be the first one.
The princess shifted closer, wearing one of those 'innocent' smiles that meant anything but innocence or naivety. "I hope we can get along." She said, before bowing down once again—the only difference was that she bowed lower, and was close enough to block Eren of his full vision with her exposed cleavage thanks to her low-cut garment.
Unfortunately for her, he was anything but interested. He looked away instantly, closing his eyes shut as he gave a simple nod. "Yeah." Eren murmured with a disinterested, and even disgusted tone. This shocked the princess, even annoyed her due to her failed attempt of enticing him for… things and other reasons.
Her smile remained forced and she gave a soft laugh that meant anything but joy before she turned, walking off. And even with her back turned, Eren could tell that that 'innocent' smile of hers twisted into a scornful scowl.
Armin who had just watched that entire scene unfolded before him heaved a heavy sigh. He would've gone up there to keep him company—but commoners like him who had no status or wealth weren't allowed to approach him at his throne, even if they worked for the royal. The only exceptions were the advisors.
Besides, Armin knew that Eren wouldn't come down from his throne, considering if he did, he would instantly turn into a magnet, surrounded by the wealthy that he despised and had claimed them to be as equal as the suckerfish in the pond.
Plus, it was a rule that the guests could pay a brief visit to him at his throne only once, and the next time they could even initiate an actual conversation with him would be when he would finally descend down from his throne, and actually take part in his own birthday celebration. With such a rule implemented, Eren would definitely prefer sitting there the whole day, away from them.
Armin knew the likes of Eren—he knew that the only time he would get off of his throne would be when the party would be over or when his advisors would probably have to threaten or drag him down if he had planned to sit there the whole night.
"Stubborn little rascal isn't he?" A voice laughed from Armin's behind, an arm then abruptly wrapping around his neck. The blonde, startled, instinctively tensed his shoulders until he realised that it was just Hanji—who seemed a little tipsy, then again she always seemed drunk.
"Those pesky advisors might force me to drag him down here." She groaned.
"Well, he listens to you and not them." Armin sighed softly, "And they wouldn't send me since he would probably make me play another game of hide and seek with him..."
Hanji laughed at his joke towards the end, but Armin didn't really find it that funny since he knew that that was a fact… and that he would probably get into major trouble if that were to happen. "Mm… but you know, I really hope he does find someone special here tonight." Hanji commented truthfully, "It doesn't even have to be someone he wants to be romantic with…just someone that could make him ease up about his revenge plot or whatever. Poor boy, he doesn't realise how revenge can blind and corrupt a soul. It'd be a miracle if someone could actually make him forget about his revenge, even if it's just for a second."
"Yeah… his revenge. But doesn't… everyone want the Ackermans dead anyway?" Armin responded. Admittedly, he did agree with what Hanji had said—how Eren was so lost in his revenge, that one day it was going to consume him whole. At the same time, most people didn't think that that was a bad thing, since his revenge was directed at that one bloody clan that everyone wanted gone and dead. They were the only murderous clan that couldn't be caught and eradicated by the guards. So… it wasn't necessarily a bad or unneeded sort of revenge plot … was it?
Hanji didn't say anything for a while, leading the blonde to think he said something he shouldn't have. But before his anxiousness could have kicked in, she had given him a calm smile with curious eyes and inquired, "Do you want them dead?"
Armin blinked for a while, did Hanji really just asked him that? What kind of question was that in the first place? A trick question? Of course, his answer was—
"Announcing, Princess Mikasa Azu of Hizuru, representing the East Sea." The Announcer called, cutting off Armin's thoughts before he could have voiced them. And now, his focus—and even Hanji's—were directed at the princess who had just entered the ball. It wasn't her name that had caught their or anyone else's attention, but rather her place of origin.
All eyes were quick to turn towards her, nobody had anticipated that someone from the East Sea region would attend such an event—especially after going into isolation for so long. Those eyes widened in shock, and even puzzlement when they saw what Mikasa was wearing, it was nothing that they've seen before. It looked foreign.
While Paradis's ball and matchmaking tradition was well-known to several nations before the war and before the whole of East Sea's isolation, and that all were welcome as long as they weren't publicly declared as an enemy, no one could've anticipate someone from the East Sea to appear.
Even the advisors who received a letter –which Kenny fabricated—that stated that they'd be attending the Prince's ball, hadn't actually expected for the someone from the East Sea region to actually show up. But, they were quick to grin and gleam in greed—after all, according to Kenny's letter, they had all the rich minerals and resources that they wanted. And if the she and the Prince had hit it off, it would be greatly beneficial for them.
As the raven began her walk towards the Prince's throne to greet him, she heard some whispers, she saw eyes that were either intrigued by her entrance or were filled with mockery and ridicule for the peculiar attire she chose to wear—a Kimono. A strikingly dark red Kimono with flowery patterns that mostly scattered below her kimono, to which came in many shades of light pink, along with a plain dark purple obi wrapped tightly around her waist. Along with her attire, her hair was done in a neat braided bun, with a red rose hair ornament with red gems hanging on a golden-coloured string that went with her clothes—though, her choice of footwear did make many question… things. Socks with a type of wooden sandals that seemed out of place for such a formal event. Untypical and unexpected, to say the least.
But it didn't bother Mikasa, who only carried herself with utmost pride as she strode towards the throne. Upon reaching there, she bowed to the prince politely before her gaze met his. And for the first time in a long while since this celebration started, he didn't look away from those pair of obsidian orbs—his eyes only widened. Not because he felt an attraction, but rather just like everyone, he was surprised that someone from the East Sea was standing right before him.
"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Prince Eren." Mikasa smiled—but unlike the princess who had greeted him before her, this smile was different. This smile was perfected in her trainings with Traute. This smile looked real, appeared genuine even.
And this smile, was only a little part of the new mask she wore.
Author's Note: sorry this took so long! And sorry that this is so long T-T. Originally, I had planned to add Traute's and Mikasa's training in here but I think if I did this would hit above 5000-6000 words which I feel would be too… wordy. I'll probably add that in the next chapter. Plus, I really wanted to make Eren's and Mikasa's first meeting in this chapter. On another note, I hope this wasn't bad :/.
Also yes, Mikasa's wearing a kimono to the ball, the reason why she's wearing that and not some grand dress would be explained next chapter, the reason isn't that dramatic though haha—but I do hope this doesn't appear disrespectful and whatnot.
Adding on, not sure if i had mentioned this before but this updates once every month (due to my busy life T-T i stg exams are sad man; so if i upload at a later date i apologise.)
Please Leave A Comment/Review! I would love to hear your thoughts and places where I can improve .
