Author's Note: Hello everyone! I wrote this story months ago and at the time I had loved it, but as time went on I lost track of where I wanted to go. Instead of continuing to have writers block or giving up, I decided to revamp it!
For those of you who have already invested time into the original story and enjoyed it: Thank you! The comments are always so appreciated. I'm hoping some of you who have already read the original might enjoy reading the revamped version. It's the same concept as last time, but with some changed scenes! The entire story will not be gutted, just fixed up! I hope it's even better this time. I really do love this story.
For new readers: Welcome! Thank you for reading. Please leave comments if you'd like, I love to read through and respond. Please be kind!
Warning: This story is a mature story, it is intended for mature readers. All characters will be 18+ in age as well.
Gwen
Last year the entire world around me shifted, no pun intended.
My closest friends had all one by one turned in werewolves. Their purposes in life had changed and now they became protectors of our reservation here in La Push, intending to keep us safe from the threat of vampires roaming our lands. Most of them were just shy of eighteen at the time. We had all spent our days like normal Res teenagers. It feel like that was a lifetime ago some days.
I grew up hearing the stories about the Quileute tribe and Taha Aki, but to me those were just stories Billy Black and Quil Ateara Sr. would tell us around a warm bonfire to teach us to be prideful of our native heritage. I happened to love those stories and a part of me believed in them, just like I believed witches used to live in Salem, and gods used to walk the earth. It was fun to imagine that there was some sort of magic in the world, it was like an escape from reality.
When all the people you care about turn out to be shapeshifters in order to defend people from vampires though? That's not a magical story to hear around a bonfire. It's absolutely terrifying. Life was falling apart around us.
At first we all tried to keep going on the same path we were originally headed, but it became impossible to ignore the changes that were inevitably going to unfold and derail our lives.
Sam left Leah for Emily, his imprint. The boys slowly, one by one, turned without any understanding as to why or how this could happen. Only after changing for the first time would the council tell them what their fate has always been. Some were discarded from their friends for months as they couldn't tell each other what was to come. Jake left the pack to fight a war to defend Bella Swan. Leah in her devastated state left the pack to follow Jacob, and Seth followed along.
We all used to be so close, but everything is so different now.
I forgot what it's like to live a normal life with normal friends a long time ago. Every day I'm patching up Jake, Leah, and Seth at the Cullen's house, trying to keep everyone put together. Things are so tense with Bella's pregnancy and Jacob isn't doing so well with it. Leah is still depressed over Sam and Emily. Seth..
Leah, Jake, and I were close growing up, thanks to our moms. We were the best of friends, but when she started dating Sam at age sixteen our friendship sort of sizzled off. She was so wrapped up in her relationship with Sam I hardly saw her.
Seth was always apart of the group despite being a year younger, but Sue kept him on a tight curfew. He couldn't come out unless Leah did, and that was a rare occasion. Still, he was always following Jake around, he had always been his number on fan. It was no surprised that he followed Jake when the pack had split up.
When Leah first got dumped by Sam I had no idea how Sam could be so evil and cruel. I thought they'd get married and start a family, they even got engaged so young. Leah loved that sparkling diamond on her finger. They were always so head over heels together. I didn't understand at the time because no one else did either. Sam was the first person to shift.
He saw Emily, Leah's own cousin, and it was instantly over for the couple. He found his lifelong partner in an instant.
Leah, at the time, didn't understand and she was devastated. Not long after the breakup she had phased, which was a real shock to everyone apparently. Her parents saw it coming with Seth, as council members, but they did not know a woman could phase. Unfortunately, it had shocked her dad so much that it caused him to have a heart attack. Luckily he recovered fully, but she carried so much guilt because of it. She wasn't close with anyone anymore, everyone got pushed aside when Sam came along. The guys are just guys, they can only do so much. She needed a girl friend to lean on. So I did my best to be there for her, every day. She would ignore me, cast me aside, try to push me away with mean words, but I knew she needed me.
So I was there for her during the worst of it, not initially knowing anything about the shapeshifting, just that my friend was going through it. I think it helped her a bit to understand that imprinting wasn't a choice he made, but of course that did very little to lighten the blow, it probably just felt worse knowing Sam found the love of his life and she was alone. Worst part? She has to read his thoughts and spend time with him, constantly.
So when Leah shifted she told me, or rather showed me. I was in utter shock and I was horrified, rightly so. There was a giant wolf in my backyard staring back at me where my friend once stood. I remember my heart going a mile a minute and my lungs not quite working properly while I processed the beautiful beast form before me. She told me everything that was going on, everyone who shifted, the imprinting, all of it. It was a shock to me just as much as it was to her.
We've been even closer ever since that moment and we lean on each other through these times. She was eager to leave the pack when Jake did, she needed the space from Sam. I understood why she did it, but it doesn't make me any less sad for all the friendships we've had to put on hold.
Ever since all of this has happened I've scrambled to find my place in the group. I have no powers or strengths to help out in these difficult times.
I've tried to make myself useful by assisting the Cullen family in anyway I can. Most often I've been the point person to help Carlisle in patching up Jake, Leah, and Seth. They come back to the house with injuries ranging from cuts and infections to broken bones. Carlisle has also been able to get me a job at the hospital with him, allowing me to make enough money to afford my rent while helping out the pack.
Unfortunately for me, while I'm in the middle of my life being totally flipped upside down my heart betrayed me. I have a crush on Seth Clearwater. I can feel my heart flutter every time I talk to him and my stomach booms with butterflies every time he smiles. All this time extra time I've spent with Leah lately, I've unknowingly also spent with Seth.
When I stay over at the Clearwater's he's there morning and night. When I come to the Cullen's, he's here. He's everywhere.
The problem is partially Leah. She's my best friend, but it's been such a hard year for her and she's still in a difficult place. There's so much going on with her and I just want to provide her with support and love. She needs me so badly and I need her too. She might see me liking Seth as me using her, or as if I'm betraying her. I just don't want to cause her anymore pain.
Plus, I can't just date a wolf. If what happened to Leah taught me anything, I can't just date a wolf. They imprint and it can happen at any time. If I started a relationship with Seth I would just be left devastated. He hasn't imprinted, so it's not me, he would've imprinted by now. That's why I don't understand Jake, he's known Bella for so long, it would have happened a long time ago.
So I'm left to crush on Seth from afar. I'll never tell him how I feel. I'll never tell Leah either. It's a good thing I'm not a wolf, cause the whole mind reading thing would not fly with me. I cannot control my thoughts, especially when I try harder to keep them maintained.
I hear Esme blow out a breath from the kitchen, alerting me she make need some help. They've been kind enough to feed us all every day despite not eating human food themselves. I walk up behind her to see she's juggling several things at once and I quickly make myself useful, throwing lids over the boiling pots and turning the timer off as it begins to ring. I know she could just use her speed to get this all done in an instant, but I think she likes to make me think I'm helping. I appreciate that. "Thanks, Hun." She gives me a kind, motherly-like smile. I've grown to really like the Cullen family, honestly.
Esme and Carlisle are very sweet parental figures. My mom passed away when I was little and my dad has struggled with alcohol since I was in middle school. I've been financially independent for years and moved out of his house a year ago right after graduation. He's not hostile or mean, typically, but it still wasn't a good environment. It breaks my heart to see him so lost and broken and he hates my pity. So I give him his space and I get mine. It's better this way.
Alice and Jasper are the sweetest and most romantic couple I've ever met. They just work so beautifully together and I adore Alice's style. She's been really nice to go shopping with on days Leah refuses to go, and Jasper usually tags along and trails behind us.
Emmett is like a big brother figure to me. I've spent many hours of my time here binge watching TV shows with him and Bella while everyone else was out. Keeping Bella company and making sure she's remaining healthy is a big job everyone takes on. Emmett enjoys staying back from big hunts or patrol to have this time with her. Edwards always been a kind man to everyone and I'm glad to see Bella has a good husband. He's really remained solid despite Jacob's pining over his wife. I think he's confident enough that Bella loves him, so he'll let Jake's jealousy flare out at times. Plus, Bella loves Jake like a friend, he's important to her and Edward knows that.
Out of all of them, Rosalie was the hardest to swallow at first. She's angry. Angry that the wolves are in her space. Angry that Bella is pregnant and she can't be. Angry than I'm human, something that she misses so dearly. Her short temper or lack of patience would rub me the wrong way at first, until I heard more about her story. Quite frankly, she's allowed to be angry. I respect her anger, though I wish she could find peace. So while everyone tries to avoid her altogether, I try to show her kindness. I try to remind other people to do the same too. I think, and I don't want to jinx it, but I may be growing on her. Funny enough, she's always enjoyed Seth's presence. The rest of us have to earn that like from her.
"It's been a long day." I offer her a small smile as she adds the noodles into the pot. "Can I help out?" It never feels like I do enough. Everyone's literally risking their lives constantly and I help Carlisle with some wounds and assist with cooking. I don't even know why I come around at all sometimes. I feel like I more or less just take up more space in the already crowded home. But I'm here because I'm scared something bad is going to happen, every fucking day. I thought I would shake the feeling of fear or dread every time my friends go on patrol or every time there's a wolf howl, but each time I feel my stomach sink more.
I'm not only scared of my friends here at the Cullen's, but also Sam's pack. They're still my friends too, even if I can't see them and rarely hear from them. I was always so close with Quil and Embry especially. Throughout high school when there was hardly Leah, there were my three boys. I know Jake's really missing them too, they're like his brothers.
She shakes her head with a smile. "I'm okay, I just got distracted. If you're free though Carlisle needed some help organizing some new med supplies in his office?"
I appreciate the small chores I'm offered. "Great, I'll get right to it." I walk out of the kitchen, passing Emmett who's playing a video game in the living room next to Bella. She's gotten so big lately and she's been sucking down bottles and bottles of blood to suppress the angry vampire baby. It's been pretty terrifying to see honestly. I knew Bella when she was a human, I even met her before Edward was in her life at all. So much has changed. So much.
"Fuck!" Emmett shouts, tossing his controller dramatically. I roll my eyes, turning into the office. I love it in here. It's a calm, quiet space..when no ones hurt of course. The walls are painted a deep green color, which I find moody and soothing, especially on a rainy day. The hardwood flooring is a dark wooden color with a sectional carpet that showcases a burst of autumn colors. Carlisle leaves several impressively grown out plants on the windowsill, allowing for privacy from the outside while letting natural light stream in through the vines and leaves.
I find all the new shipments of supplies and start putting them away in the correct bins he had neatly organized. He tries to balance time between working at the hospital and patching everyone up here. We're lucky he has such good connections because the wolves go through so many bandages. Ever since Bella has started drinking the blood she's needed overall less medical attention, thank god. She's ordered to spend most of her time sitting and to keep up on the blood smoothies between every human meal and when she first wakes up.
"Gwen." Carlisle greets me as he floods into his office with a smile, shrugging on his white jacket. "I'm off to the hospital for an emergency transplant. Thanks for putting all that away, I haven't gotten around to it." He's filling his suitcase with paperwork in a rush.
I shake my hand at him, dismissing the praise. "It's no problem, I'm thankful that I can help in some way."
He pats my shoulder with his cold hand, a touch I've had to get used to with all of them. "You're always a help. I'll be back later." He's rushes out of the room without a second glance. Carlisle is a real hard working man. For someone who's been dead for years and has enough money to not work for another hundred years or so, he works damn hard.
"Dammit Seth!" Leah lets out an exaggerated huff as they stumble into the office. Seth has his arm slung over his older sisters shoulder, his face looking paler than normal. Seth, despite the werewolf genes, does not have the best tolerance for pain. Leah drops him down on the brown leather couch and I watch a silent hiss escape him. If there's one thing about Leah it's that she does not coddle. "Gwen, he fell right into the cacti Esme has planted out there." She rubs a hand over her face, saying it in a tone like she just can't believe he did that. "He has needles coming out of literally everywhere, he is a walking hazard. You are a walking hazard!" She points a finger in his face, which he gently swats away. He sicks lower into the couch, like he wants to be anywhere else than here.
I snort and drop what I'm doing to inspect the sheepish looking Seth. "I didn't see she moved the planters and I tripped right into them." He rubs the back of his neck, a tinge of pink on his cheeks. The needles are quite like and taking up random clusters of his body. It sort of looks like a porcupine rolled around on him.
"It's alright I can get these out, it's just gonna take some time so I don't leave anything in your skin." I move over to the cabinet to find some tweezers, alcohol, and cotton pads. "Is your pain bad?" I offer, pausing in front of the medicine.
"I'm fine." Seth assures me. He never takes me up on the offer of medication, mostly because he knows it'll take a while to kick in and it won't work very long. We only use the strong doses for bad cases. Still, I always offer it. I tie my hair into a ponytail and put on a fresh pair of gloves.
I see Leah shaking her head at him, crossing her arms. "I need to get out there for patrol. Stay here, you're done for the night." She shoots him a warning look before stomping off. When it comes to patrol Leah is no bullshit. She wants to get it done and over with so she can get home. Unlike me, this whole befriending vampires thing did not go so smoothly for her. She keeps a sharp spine around the Cullen's, even now.
I chuckle at her annoyance with him and kneel down in front of him, taking a closer look. "You really fell into it, huh?" Most of the needles are scattered along his hip and stomach area, but some lead onto his thighs.
I shift closer to him, trying to decide how this will be easiest to do. I kneel before him, my knees close to the couch so I can get a up close look.
"It came out of no where I'm tellin ya." He sounds a little breathless, so I glance up at him to make sure he's okay. His gives me a bashful grin, his face beat red. Seth wears his emotions on his sleeve, he's very readable. The boys often tease him because of it. It's one of the many things I've grown to like about him.
Letting out a breathy laugh I still myself, slowly pulling the first one out. I pause to see if he'll wince, but he doesn't.
I get to work pulling them out slowly. They manage to stay intact so far, nothing breaking off into the skin. That would be a real pain in the ass. As I turn to drop another needle onto the table beside me his leg starts bouncing beside me. I press a flat palm to it and he instantly stills. "Be still. I'm trying to be careful here." I remind him.
"Sorry I just get a little crazy when I'm still." I roll my eyes teasingly, he's so..I can't even describe it. Maybe like a golden retriever puppy. I suppose that's not too inaccurate giving the fact that he's a wolf. He has so much energy and joy inside of him, I think it's partly why I'm so attracted to him. He's just so good and pure and beautiful.
Pushing away my butterflies in my stomach I go back to the needles before I can start listing all the reasons why I like him in my head. Focus on one thing at a time, Gwen. "Just be patient. Tell me about school." Seth's just a year younger, but everyone likes to tease him about it, including me.
It's late August and school has just begun in La Push, Seth just began his senior year despite everything going on here. He just celebrated his eighteenth birthday in early July.
He sighs, his head slumping back. "It's fine. I'm just tired. I can hardly function for the first half of the day and then by lunch I'm just thinking about how much time I have left until patrol." I sideways glance at his fingers fisting at his knees, likely in some pain. "Sleep is getting harder to come by."
"I know the feeling." I steal a glance at him, just to find he was already staring down at me. I feel my face flood with warmth and turn back down to his stomach. An image of how else this position could be used invades my mind before I quickly push it away. "Have you heard anything from the others?"
It's something we hardly talk about. Times are tense. "No I haven't, but it'll all be okay soon. They can't really want anyone to kill this baby, right? They'll realize that soon." He sounds sure of it.
I nod my head. I hope he's right. "Okay I got them all through the shirt, but just take it off so I know nothing's left in the skin." I push myself back to give him some space.
He quickly pulls of his shirt, tossing it on the couch next to him. His abs and muscles shift under his movement and for a moment I can't peel my eyes away, and my hands are still. I see a lot of half naked wolves. I've seen Seth without his shirt on countless times. But there's no denying his beauty. His body is solid but it always looks so soft to the touch. Even under the soft lighting of this office his body glistens. There's a few random moles scattered around and light layer of hair trailing beneath his belly button that makes my mouth dry when I think of it.
I shake off the thoughts and lean in to inspect his belly. "Yeah you have a few left. Just hold super still, they're tiny." He obeys and I get a closer look. My one hand lays flat against his ribs to steady myself as I lean over closer. His body is warm beneath my cool hand, sending my whole body burning hot for a moment. The wolves run with a naturally high temperature, I often forget that. I start plucking the little bits out and luckily nothing is being left in the skin. I rub alcohol pads over him as I work, little pricks of blood staining the pad.
He hisses at the sensation and my whole body tingles and flutters for a moment and I feel a layer of sweat begin on my neck. God, I am just pathetic aren't I? This is my best friends little brother. This is Seth, I've known him forever. Why do I feel like this now? After all this time?
There's plenty of guys around here that aren't wolves. That don't imprint, or risk their lives everyday. I need to go on a date and find a normal guy. But Seth is just so different from other guys. He has a beautifully sculpted, rock solid body, while also having the sweetest face and kindest smile. He's pure and good, but manly and rugged when he needs to be. A perfect balance. He also smells absolutely delightful, his natural musk is addicting. I've started greeting him with a hug, despite seeing him daily, just to get a smell of him. It makes me feel safe and cozy, nearly drowsy too.
I do another swipe of the alcohol over his belly and then pull away, a little reluctantly if I'm honest, but distance is good right now. "Okay all cleaned up." I shoot him a brief smile, collecting all my garbage.
"I think I have a few in my leg too." He innocently points to his thigh which indeed has cactus needles sticking out. How did I miss those? Oh right. Because I'm in a whole other world right now and not focused on my job.
A shiver threatens to course through me as I stare down at his leg. It's ever so close to..oh god, no. "Right." I let out a breath. "Right, let me just get more pads." I slowly rise to my feet, turning my back to him as I throw away the pads and find new ones. I'm moving much slower now, maybe hoping that Carlisle will arrive home and take over for me. He just left Gwen, just do it.
I clear my throat as I turn back to him, giving him a brief smile. "Okay, just keep still." I kneel before him again, this time his eyes are staring back at me. I don't want to break the gaze but I do, my eyes going to the project in front of me. I pluck out about five needles before pausing. "Um."
"What?" Seth's voice sounds different, maybe a little husky? I try to tell myself he's just tired, but he's an eighteen year old boy and I'm a girl awfully close to his..package. Gross, I just called it a package. Taha Aki, send me strength.
I pause for a moment. "I need to make sure there's nothing left in the skin.." I trail off, looking up at him.
His eyes meet mine. "Right."
I chuckle a little when he doesn't make a move. "I need you to take off your pants so I can get a closer look." I lean back on my knees, my feet supporting me. I stare at him but he continues to make no movement to remove his sweats. "Seth." I motion to his pants.
"Yeah. I can't." He replies sheepishly, a red glow appearing on his face once again.
"I just want to double check, it'll only take a moment."
He just looks anywhere but my eyes, gazing the room. "I'm not wearing any boxers." His voice squeaks a little. "Not in a weird way but I just usually skip out on those when I have patrol, one less thing to potentially lose when I shift." He rants on, still not looking at me. We're both silent for a moment before I giggle a little, rising to my feet. He runs a hand through his hair, looking nervous as he finally looks back at me.
"Okay. I'll just hand you these." I hand him my supplies carefully. "Just do it slowly so nothing breaks off." I instruct, pulling off my gloves and throwing them into the waste bin. "Swipe the alcohol pads over the area when you finish so it stays clean."
I walks out of the room, slowly shutting the door behind me to allow him privacy. I let out a slow breath, rubbing the back of my dampened neck. I try to avoid intimate situations like that with Seth, but that clumsy dork can't seem to stay away from the medical room. Every other day he has a new cut, a bump on the head, it's always something.
Every time I get worked up by him I feel like Leah can sense it or something. She always asks me why I'm flushed or why I look so nervous. It just embarrasses me further. Luckily though I've done a good job of keeping it to myself all this time and no one knows about it, not even Jake. I don't even think Jake would remember if I told him though, he's so caught up with Bella. I move on to the kitchen to check in on Esme, counting down the hours until I can go home.
