Disclaimer : I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.
Note: Please read Author's note at the end; involves hiatus of this fic.
Levi's eyes darted towards the several papers she held, and an idea occurred to him. He had gotten a fair bit of information after hanging around her the last time, who's to say he wouldn't attain more vital information if he got closer to her? It was a manipulative move, but if Levi needed to make use of what remaining pawns he had left to avoid failing this mission, he would, right?
He could tell she was worn out after the meeting, after the body she had to examine more closely. And he knew for a fact that most people tended to say and vent out unnecessary things in the spur of the moment when they are exhausted and overwhelmed.
"Since I am relieved of my current duties…" He said, "I don't mind lending you a hand, again, Hanji."
Not even an official step into Hanji's lair and Levi was already greeted and irked by some monstrous form of putrid scent that danced freely around in the air, daring to near him. It took every single nerve within him to restrain himself from puking all over; not even the underground was this shitty. So when he felt his sixth sense telling him that this definitely wouldn't be the last of his visits, considering he considered the four-eyed woman was a vital source of intel, the temptation to sterilize this entire place crept up to the back of his head.
Somehow, he managed to gain Hanji's permission to do so; then again, he wasn't sure if she was even aware of what she had just consented to. She had only given him a half-hearted dismissing wave, murmuring a tired and mindless 'yes, yes…' before sinking herself into the stacks of paperwork. And he took that as consent.
While cleaning, Levi came to realise that Hanji has a bad habit of murmuring to herself when she was in a state of stressful panic.
"Okay so… Princess Alena is heading back home… and all the aristocrat daughters are too…eh…" Hanji wearily muttered to herself as one of her hands busied itself jotting all of it down. Meanwhile, her other hand was ruffling through and worsening the mess that was her hair; or a decomposing bird's nest as what Levi would've called it.
He would steal a few glances here and there towards her direction when he wasn't busy writhing in repulsion when he found yet another cobweb drenched in what he wanted to think was just mould, and not something else shittier.
Was this the same solemn and composed woman he saw earlier? She appeared so professional, dressed neatly with her hair combed and tied back in a pony-tail, her glasses free of any fog and particles that could've otherwise obstruct her sight when she busied herself with analysing the corpse before having to deal with the grieving hot-tempered man. And Levi could tell—could see through a tiny ounce past her façade— that she was emotionally distressed, and yet she approached the distraught and indignant man with perfect collectedness.
In contrast, the woman in front of him was the definition of a mess (even her working space was a mess, Levi didn't even want to imagine what her bedroom looked like). He didn't know what chaos erupted in the midst of the meeting, but whatever happened there had led her to be in this pressuring situation where she seemed to be close to having a meltdown. The only thing stopping her was probably the fact that she didn't want to turn absolutely hysterical in front of one of their guests who so 'graciously' offered his helping hand.
After some time, Levi managed to clear all the cluttered sheets of paper that were once but no longer scattered on the ground. Instead, they were now neatly set aside on the upper left of her desk. Cobwebs were no longer in sight, all the dust-bunnies that were cuddling in hidden corners were successfully hunted down and demolished by him and his weapon; a duster.
It was safe to say that considering directly above her lair was a storage room of cleaning supplies, it had undoubtedly made his cleaning spree easier since those supplies were conveniently at his disposition. And with the assumption that the maids weren't allowed down here(that or they had given up hope), it made him question why she didn't take any earlier action to purify her dirty habitat if cleaning supplies were so conveniently nearby. Was filthiness part of her personality? Or was it because her schedule was too packed, leaving her with barely any time to clean? Levi struggled between giving her the benefit of the doubt or not.
That thought aside, the only thing remaining that currently left him disgruntled was the state of her desk; and the fact that another tumultuous mess was bound to erupt if she continued to toss and chunk the documents that she had just finished giving an overview and signed aside. At least they weren't falling on the ground, though. (or at least, yet).
Levi knew he had to restrain himself from touching them; knowing fully well that that was a line he shouldn't cross in this territory of hers since they were clearly important documents. More important than the bizarre scientific papers he found, that he could barely read with all the strange scientific terms glaring right at his face. Or at least, he shouldn't cross that line of privacy when she was around.
At least the next time I visit this rut, it won't bother me so much anymore… Levi thought, looking over his work with admittedly some form of pride. Although, he was disappointed of the fact that despite organising everything, he didn't find anything useful pertaining to his mission.
At most, he found more bizarre sketches, and some research papers containing long words that he didn't understand and assumed that it was some long scientific term for something. He had an inkling before that that'd be the case, considering despite some occurrences that he observed that suggested otherwise, Hanji was cautious. Surely, even if Hanji lived in a mess, even if she was a mess, the advisors wouldn't blindly invite an utter klutz into their political party for the sake of pacifying the Prince. She must have some level of common sense and caution, right?
It was worth a try, though.
"…What are the other advisors doing, if not helping?" Levi ventured to ask. After he and Mikasa went their separate ways, the only advisor he saw was Hanji; and it made him wonder if that corrupt council he heard about from time-to-time underground were at all panicking about the current predicament. Having a murder occur to which was too late to conceal and hide, during such an important event was definitely the last thing they had wanted.
After all, it'd make other nations question their legitimacy of their position of being top in military and security. Moreover, with some of the guests wanting to leave, he was sure it'd impact them and their greedy ass; as what Levi liked to call.
Hanji shrugged. "Handling their transportation home, writing letters to their respective countries and parents regarding the situation… letters of assurance." She paused, and then turned to Levi with an awfully curious look. "Speaking of which, I know Princess Mikasa said in the meeting that she didn't plan to leave and so on… but otherwise, it's still best to issue a letter of assurance… although, I don't know how we are going to mail it to Hizuru. It's quite far isn't it? With the rumoured treacherous waters as you mentioned back then… It's a surprise to me we even received your letter."
Levi forced himself not to flinch, and internally cursed Kenny for his unconventional ways. How that old man and his horrendous handwriting forged that letter was beyond him. "That so?"
"Yeah! According to one of the women who works at the docks, a strange boat entered our waters at night with a letter before sailing off before anyone could tend to you all. Gee, are your people shy or something? Why didn't you stay?"
Was that woman Traute? Levi pondered. It wouldn't surprise him if Kenny had Traute faked the whole thing. Honestly, he didn't know. He didn't know what crazy connections his uncle had. I should've questioned that shitty Kenny further that day about his faked letter before he disappeared…
"There were some personal matters back at Hizuru that the appointed sailing crew had to quickly attend back to." He lied.
"Well regardless, it was such a hassle I swear!" It didn't seem like she was going to pry too much on the personal matters of Hizuru, and it relieved Levi for a bit; he didn't want to be caught in the cobweb of white lies he had already begun to spin since it was one that he couldn't dust away so easily.
Although, from the way she was bringing all this up, he was sure she still held some degree of suspicion towards them. And in some sense, rightfully so. Well, as long as it was about Hizuru and them not being Ackermans, Levi wasn't overly worried. The thought of her even thinking they were Ackermans seemed far-fetched; she didn't have any evidence of it after all, aside from that sketch she drew that he saw—but even that drawing didn't have their faces on it. Their identity was a mystery, veiled underneath a full-face mask. And… it wasn't like he was the shortest man on this damned island.
"Honestly, we thought the letter was fake! With the entire East Sea region being in isolation, we didn't think you'd have recovered so fast economically wise and so on… but the letter was so convincing and well-written, it erased most of our doubts, and not to mention when Princess Mikasa showed up in such luxury, it confirmed everything… oh, but did you see it?" She asked, steering back the topic as she tried her best not to ramble off too much. "Did you see the letter? The writing was quite impressive."
Not wanting to take any risks on guessing the letter's content, Levi shrugged. "I'm not in charge of writing letters in Hizuru. I'm just a mere guard."
"Almost forgot." She sighed, before she started to inadvertently side-track from her original work for a bit. "It was written with such a convincing tone… oh, and it stated something about the goods you have to offer… stuff like that. And that you planned to send your country's heir to attend the Prince's birthday ball to introduce yourself, and have her represent Hizuru and the East Sea region… something like that…and I mean it's not like we can say no anyway even if we could write back since we didn't really classify Hizuru as an enemy after the war… and the Prince's birthday ball is more or less an open party to allies and neutral nations… and—"
"Shouldn't you be focusing on that instead?" Levi reminded, cutting her off from her ramble as he nodded towards the mountain of papers she had yet to even cast a glance at. He didn't want her curiosity to linger, and then later explode about Hizuru. It was better to shut it down now. Because while he did listen in onto the history lessons Traute gave Mikasa, he didn't think he'd be able to answer all her questions when even the book Traute used to teach Mikasa was incomplete, and a little vague in some aspects. "Ah! Right…" Her focus shifted back, dipping and curving her pen rapidly as she took down the vital things.
I didn't come here to just clean her shit up. Levi remembered, reminding himself that he didn't come down here just to be her personal maid. I need to choke out some information from he—
"You know, you can leave if you want." Hanji interrupted his thoughts, before removing her dirtied glasses, beginning to wipe them before she'd proceed to the next stack of more important papers. "Thanks for helping me carry my stuff down… again." Levi arched a brow. Given she omitted Levi's cleaning while she voiced her gratitude, he concluded that she was more or less unaware that she given him her consent to sterilise the place. Albeit, it wasn't just that that bothered him.
Was her pair of glasses so filthy that she hadn't noticed the stark contrast and change which was how sparkling clean her lair was brought upon by Levi? For one reason or another, he found that offensive.
"I mean…" She continued, adjusting her spectacles once she rubbed away the specs of dust and cleared the fog. She didn't mind Levi's presence, if anything it felt nice to have someone around even if he was more or less a stranger to her. Even if she did have some suspicions of him at first; like how he and Mikasa could've been some sort of spies, planning to bring Paradis to its demise.
Unlike most of the other advisors who accepted them a little easier than her because if it meant they'd get direct connections to them and be prioritized in receiving the luxurious and vital goods they claimed to have in abundance, they'd take the gamble. It wasn't like Hizuru and Paradis were at war with one another back then. They had always been neutral, or at least tried to be. Nonetheless, Hizuru nor Paradis didn't do anything in the past to regard one another as enemies; which was why for the most part, the other advisors had their guard down.
Hanji on the other hand, didn't. It was a gut feeling; however regardless how she felt, as an advisor, she still treated them with respect should her gut feeling be wrong. Plus, she had the human decency not to immediately shun them out. For all she knew, their intentions on coming to Paradis and coming out of isolation could be nothing more than pure and genuine. Besides, she couldn't hate what she didn't fully know—that same logic applied when it came to the Ackermans.
Moreover, Levi was relatively nice to her. Sure, it could all be a ploy. Hanji did consider that, but the amount of shit jokes he made and how she noticed him trying not to make when it came to certain things because he didn't want to earn their complete disrespect was a little humorous and made her think otherwise for one reason or another. Although, the man didn't seem to hold back his vulgar tongue as much when he was alone with her. It made her wonder if Princess Mikasa or even the whole of Hizuru had just as much of a vulgar tongue as he did, then again, she carried such an elegant aura that made her doubt this theory.
"You don't like the—" Before Hanji could continue her statement, her mouth went agape when she finally took notice of how damned clean the lair was. No dust. No wrinkly papers scattered on the ground and definitely no cobwebs hidden and spread out in the corners. "WOAH!" She gasped ecstatically, "Was that why I didn't sneeze at all?! I thought I finally adapted!" She commented before taking an obnoxiously loud whiff of the air in her lair, to realise that any lingering pungent scent of her experiments turned mistakes were gone. She had been drowning in her work so much earlier that she didn't take notice. (And there was her pair of dirty glasses, too).
He watched her jumping out of her seat, back straightened as she went around to take a closer look of how clean everything was. "Even the bookshelves! Ahhh!" She gleamed.
Levi didn't know how to react to her exhilaration, he remained still, leaning against the corner as he tried to retain his unimpressed look, although, it did change to something surprised upon her outburst. Albeit, only for a fleeting moment that Hanji missed when she was admiring the corners and edges of her lair that were no longer filled with cobwebs. Hell, how was he going to subtly interrogate her now when she was busy being obsessed and fascinated with the sparkling cleanliness? Well, at least his efforts were noticed.
She looks less gloomy, though. Levi noted. Their conversation before, while she did wear a smile and had some lingering enthusiasm in her tone, sounded forced and weary. He didn't think something as simple as a clean lair would drag out a more genuine happiness from her.
"What?" Levi deadpanned when he noticed that she was now channelling all her attention to him, staring at him with such awe. Any other person would feel sheepish. But Levi? He felt uncomfortable and weirded out by her enlarged sparkling eyes which fixated on him like some sort of awaiting prey.
"Thank youuu so much! I could just—" She opened her arms, voice going beyond high-pitched, and Levi began to tense. "—just hug y—"
"No." Levi deadpanned again, hands fully raised to act as a barrier while he found his facial features beginning to scrunch in repulsion at the thought of hugging her for one major reason. "When was the last time you showered?" There was one another living, breathing mess that he didn't manage to clean.
While Hanji felt crestfallen upon being brutally rejection, her despondency soon morphed into bashfulness. Scratching the back of her head nervously, she responded, "Uh… two w—" And then paused, head tilting in confusion when Levi raised his hand again, signalling her to halt her speech.
"I don't want to know." Levi decided. He did want to get close to her, but not too close. Maybe he could tolerate being suffocated in a stranger's arms for the sake of the mission… that is, if they had some basic hygiene.
Hanji rolled her eyes. "Clean-freak." She teased. It was her second time calling him that.
"Four-eyed freak." He shot back, and she childishly stuck her tongue out in retaliation, and Levi swore he heard whispering under her breath, quietly scheming a way to coat him with her germs by embracing in the near future. It was perturbing.
Tch. Is she really an advisor?
"Anyway!" Hanji huffed, breaking Levi out of his thoughts, and then continuing before he could counter even retort to the questionable statements she made under her breath. "You could've at least asked before you cleaned, ya know!"
"I did and you said 'Yes, yes.'" Levi didn't try to mimic her, instead he said that with his stoned and grumpy face, which for some reason Hanji found herself disappointed about that.
"Well… you should've asked again! I wasn't really answering!" She spoke, eyes darting away in what Levi identified as embarrassment. "What if… you found something strange or embarrassing…"
Levi's brows knitted. Strange or embarrassing? He frowned, thinking to himself. Like the odd shitty coloured mouldy cobwebs weren't strange or embarrassing enough.
His revolted expression pushed Hanji to continue explaining herself. She didn't know what he was thinking but a part of her assumed that he was thinking of something obscene when she said "strange" or "embarrassing". Little did she know that was far from right, unfortunately, she had already begun to justify herself against a non-existent accusation.
"Like journal entries! I used to write stuff when I had more time working here… and some of them… contained things about…" She hesitated momentarily, squirming a little in her seat which earned a questionable look from Levi that Hanji fortunately didn't notice. "…about… my first love."
That was… unexpected, I was expecting something else worse, Levi thought and then scoffed. "First love? You? About what? The damned dust-shits?" He mocked.
"Hey! First of all, it's dust-bunnies!" She defended. "And I'm still human, alright?"
"Oh." He replied, and it was the tone of realisation that ticked Hanji off.
"Hey! I am human!" She retorted with a pout, arms crossed as she sensed some derision on his part. "I didn't ask for your ridicule."
"I didn't ask for you to tell me about your romantic life." Levi grumbled. "I can't believe we're having this sort of conversation…" He uttered tiresomely, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, heaving a heavy sigh. The last thing he ever expected when returning back to the surface for a mission was to hear the really, really personal affairs of an advisor.
"Me too." Hanji found herself throwing herself back on the chair, her energy was back to being drained once the excitement of having her lair cleaned finally died down. "Who knows why I'm even having a guard from a foreign land, come here in my working space, bickering about this." She sneered at herself, and Levi soon became perplexed when he noticed a smile ironically cracking on her lips.
"I don't even trust you completely, yet I allow you in here because your company is… lively, ironic enough." She laughed, earning a click of the tongue from Levi along with his unchanging unimpressed look. "Oh, and I'm curious about the current state of Hizuru too." She added on.
Well, she's awfully honest. Levi noted. How do I even gain the full trust of a crazy woman? It had been so long since he dealt with one.
"Oh but! No offence to you," She quickly followed up, referring to the trust part of her previous statement. "I'm definitely thankful for the generosity you showed so far." Even if it might be a ploy—Hanji didn't say this out loud. "Cleaning, helping out… staying around even though you hate messes." She enjoyed his company, and maybe that was why she let him stay. And perhaps it was because she was tired of being in the company of advisors for quite a while; she hadn't had the time to have a proper, casual chit-chat with any of her friends working here who were mostly stationed in the military. Plus, she did want to ask more about Hizuru. She was curious.
And something didn't sit right with her.
"You can thank me by taking a shower. An actual shower." Levi stated bluntly, interrupting her thoughts before he gestured to her top shelf where it held items that had piqued a part of his interest earlier when he had been cleaning, "Are you their personal doctor, too?" He hoped this new conversational starter would lead to something useful about the advisors, or anything at all.
After a momentary debate of whether or not Hanji should address his indirect statement about her stench, she decided to ignore it, mostly because she couldn't conjure a spiteful enough retort on the spot. So instead, she nodded and chose to address his other question, "Yeah…They only promoted me to that rank because I have knowledge about political affairs too… and I can keep the Prince in check. We have a close relationship after all." She explained, and frankly, Levi was quite impressed at how much knowledge she has, that she would be able to read and write those long-ass scientific words that he almost thought was in a foreign language. Although, he wouldn't admit it out loud.
He wondered if that was what life on the surface was like, where one could actually get an education. Him and Mikasa, while literate and had some sort of basic knowledge, were more equipped with primal survival skills. The unluckiest of the underground however, only had the same amount of survival skills as prey that found itself doomed at the bottom of the food-chain. "Otherwise, they don't really listen. And honestly speaking, I rather just be a scientist here or doctor. Politics isn't really my cup of tea… and I don't really get along with them, since most of them are old and close-minded…and their opinions are vastly different from mine most times."
"…so what made you decide to take it?" Tired people do tend to spill unnecessary things, Hanji was an evident example since to Levi, she seemed like she was soon bound to pour her heart out after everything that happened today; maybe even exposing some secrets that the council had going on. So, he lent a listening ear. The closer he got to her, the more vulnerability she showed to him, he might be able to get the information he needed.
And for some reason, he started to feel… icky.
Was it guilt, perhaps? It wouldn't be the first time.
Because at the core of it all, of all the Ackermans… they were still human.
"Because, admittedly, even though Eren is reaching adolescence, he…still makes reckless decisions. Someone needs to watch over him… like, really watch over him. I care for Eren, especially since I did watch him grow up for some time. Moreover, a King's relationship with his advisors must be good to some degree so the public can trust them as a whole. So, I took it. Besides… there are some things I disagree with the advisors anyway… honestly…"
Levi watched as a more humane side of Hanji emerged, he noticed a similar tinge of pain that he saw lingering in her eyes when she was examining the corpse; a pain she tried to conceal behind her falsified composure—that Levi managed to see past not because of his sharpness, but because he knew what it felt like to hide behind a mask. Literally. Along with that pain, he noticed it to be mixed with fatigue.
That icky feeling suddenly started to dissipate when he felt a wave of empathy come crashing in that for some reason, he couldn't erase nor supress it.
In a way, he related to Hanji. He had a teenager to look after too, even if she didn't want it. There were some sacrifices he had to make along the way, too.
He wanted to venture more into this topic Hanji has brought up, seeing that it had lowered her guard just slightly. Yet, instead what he blurted out was, "…The tea you made for me was nice." A futile attempt of comfort, but nonetheless a successful attempt of distraction. What am I doing? Go back to the shitty subject, Levi. A voice chimed in the Ackerman's head.
Hanji started to smile. "Really? Were you able to sleep well?" She queried.
"Yeah…" She's smiling. He noted. "…More or le—"
Interrupting their conversation was a blonde-haired man who found himself stumbling into Hanji's lair, "Han—" He called, but stopped and began to stutter inarticulate phrases when his eyes came in contact with Levi's, "O-Oh h-he… I didn't—"
"Don't worry Armin!" Hanji laughed upon taking notice of his evident nervousness. "He may look hostile but trust me! He won't bite."
"Ah…haha…" Armin nodded, albeit a little awkwardly before making his way towards Hanji, avoiding any form of eye contact with Levi who was coincidentally eying at him, not with pure hostility though, perhaps it was some sort of irritation.
Although, while admittedly slightly irritated that their conversation was intruded on even if it did went off track from Levi's first intentions, he was more curious as to what called for Armin's presence; he was the Prince's closest friend after all. At least according to the documents Kenny handed them.
"Sooo, what are you here for?" Hanji queried curiously. "Wait… don't tell me…" Her mood noticeably went dull in a split second as she continued, with such dread, "Did… Eren do some—"
"N-No!" Armin waved his hands frantically, dismissing that idea and in an instant, Hanji's mood sailed and back-paddled away from the grimness. "Fortunately, no."
"I heard that he was training earlier… although, I saw him return to his room not too long ago. I don't think he'll do anything reckless or even have the energy to do so… it's been an exhausting day after all, and the sun's already starting to set." Armin spoke. "Not to mention, we have already heightened security… so rest assured."
"The sun's already setting? Ahh time sure flies fast during this season…" Hanji grumbled, casting a reluctant glance at the remaining paperwork she was yet to finish before dusk tomorrow. "You never know what that kid can do." She continued with a sigh, choosing to ignore the paperwork for now.
"Speaking of which, Eren…does seem a lot more bothered today…" Armin remarked, "I hope it doesn't affect his mood for tomorrow…I mean this whole marriage event is continuing, right? Not everyone's leaving after all…"
"Yeah." Hanji confirmed, albeit when the event will actually formally resume was a mystery to her since she wasn't sure if everything would be stable enough by tomorrow. "And…It's probably because of today's incident, how it supposedly involves the Ackermans and so on... It's best to give him time and space…"
"Yeah, I know…" Armin said. "Anyway…" He trailed off, taking a glimpse at Levi who was no longer eying at him but rather the ground, perhaps in some sort of deep thought.
Armin parted his lips, although he hesitated in letting any word spill out. Not when he was around. It was already bad enough that his nervousness didn't go by unnoticed by someone like Levi. Is he suspicious of something? Armin wondered, trying to formulate a reasonable reason as to why the man was suddenly sinking into his own pool of thought. What was he doing in here with Hanji, anyway? Now, he was hoping the man wouldn't notice his growing aura of suspicion he had towards him.
"I'll leave now." Levi suddenly said, his eyes focusing back towards Hanji's. "Your assistant is here anyway, to keep you company." He mumbled, pushing himself off against the wall. While he did take notice of the blonde's suspicion, he didn't think too much of it and merely shrugged it off. It was reasonable of him to suspect something since he and Hanji were alone, but he wasn't that worried considering it wasn't as if he had managed to extract anything seemingly useful from her. There was no evidence of him doing anything suspicious, unless cleaning counted as one. And if anything, the only 'useful' thing he did was help her carry her things down as well as spring clean her lair for his future and probably inevitable visits.
And why he became detached from the conversation because at the mention of the time; and of that royal brat, his mind couldn't help but drift towards the other 'royal' brat, Mikasa. I wonder how that brat is doing. He had pondered, recalling how much of a bad mood Mikasa was once the meeting ended. To add on, they hadn't exactly made up after that dispute they had when she had unexpectedly entangled herself in a fight. I've given her enough time to cool off…
I ought to check on her now, to discuss plans for tomorrow. And…
"Alright! I'll see you around." Hanji waved as Levi made his way towards the exit. "Oh! And thank you for cleaning!" She added, but much to Hanji's dismay, she didn't receive a response.
As for Armin, he offered the advisor a baffled look. "C…Cleaning?" That man was in here cleaning?!
They weren't shitting when they said security would be tightened. Levi thought as he made his way towards Mikasa's room, noticing the increased number of guards that were either stationed near the staircases or patrolling the hallway. If for some reason, it was actually Kenny who pulled that stunt… he must have some shitty cruel humour, wanting to make things harder for all of us.
Despite the fact that Levi's false identity of being a Princess's personal guard had more or less permitted his entry to this floor, he couldn't help but feel like he was still scrutinised by the guards who passed him. Maybe it was paranoia. For a man who killed and hunted in the shadows with his identity protected behind a physical mask, it felt unnatural to be this exposed and unhidden.
Maybe it was instinct, but being eyed so closely whenever a guard or two walked by made his footsteps quieten; softer than whispers and the gentle wind. It made him stay closer to the shadows that the setting sun generously casted as it shone through the windows. It made the sound of his breathing close to non-existent. The last time he ever disguised his presence to such an extreme extent was during one of his training sessions with Kenny.
Upon approaching Mikasa's room, he had a brief moment in the hallways where he was granted the absence of those guards. But even so, he was still as silent as ever. A part of him wanted to quickly enter her room, to avoid the lingering stares the guards shot at him. Although, the other was reluctant, to face the uncomfortable tension caused when he had reprimanded her the other day.
He didn't know how the tension was going to be resolved or dissolved. It had been a long time since he ever scolded her like that; like a child.
Fortunately for him, he wasn't going to find out anytime soon.
Like a trained killer, she left her room without a sound. The door didn't creak, her footsteps were as light and quiet as his, the way she stalked in the shadows was just as hidden as him. If anything, she had spotted him first while he had been in deep ponder. But alas, the accidental immediate reaction upon seeing her brother at an unexpected timing had betrayed her.
"Tsk." Tch. A click of her tongue, similar to her brother's.
And that was when Levi snapped his head up, caught her red handed before she could make a run for it.
And that was how the Ackermans found themselves in this position.
The way Levi clasped onto her wrist was tighter than a pair of metal restraints and chains. He didn't mean to be rough, but when he spotted her wearing a dark cloak, face partially covered with an equally black cloth, he couldn't help but seethe with—not just fury—but grave concern and disappointment. He knew that if he had been gentler in his attempt to stop her, she'd have easily slipped away and escaped.
Had she not learnt her lesson? Where was she even going?
His eyes focused on hers sharply, but this time the girl in front of him didn't flinch or look away passively. She stared straight back at him stubbornly, and perhaps if Levi had seen it correctly, there was a little plead engraved in her orbs that beseeched him to let go.
Regardless of the look she gave him, his mind was far from even considering to let go. He didn't even know where she was going. He didn't even know why she was about to do something this risky; it wasn't in her nature to be this reckless. He could only wonder what prompted her to act out like this, and regardless of how reasonable her reason was, he'd still find it inexcusable because she should know better to on act her own in the predicament they found themselves in.
"Where do you think you're going, Mikasa?"
A frown slowly found itself to her face, her brows furrowed slightly as if she were contemplating something before she bit her lips a little too guiltily.
She knew she didn't have time to explain, so did Levi who noticed her anxiousness upon intercepting whatever scheme she had devised. "Haven't you learnt your lesson not to be reckless?" He said, tugging at her towards her room, knowing that if she was caught wearing something so suspicious, it'd be hard to lie their way out.
However, she stood rooted to the ground, resisting his pull. "I don't have time to explain." She said in a rushed, hushed whisper, knowing that a guard could pass by anytime soon. "You just have to trust me. I'm not going to commit any… crimes tonight if that's what you're worried about."
"Trust you?" Levi spat incredulously. "I don't even know what the fuck you're going to do or where you are heading." He forced himself not to raise his voice. "And you're telling me to trust you? Especially after yesterday?"
She snatched her hand back. "This is to get close to the Prince." She said curtly.
Levi forced himself to hold back a scoff. "You expect me to—"
Footsteps. Both of them heard them coming.
"I acknowledge my foolishness the other day." She murmured, spitting out her apology in a rush. Yet ironically, Levi could sense some sincerity in them. "And I took into consideration of what you said." She explained. "But if you want me to stop acting so childishly, then stop treating me like one. Just have faith in me, this once. Please." For a moment, both Ackermans were caught off guard by the sudden immense vulnerability in her tone when she said that singular word. Please. "Let me do this on my own for once." She continued, sounding and even looking so desperate for him to let go. Let her go on her own. Because despite how horrid this situation might look like in Levi's eyes, it wasn't in Mikasa's—who just didn't have the time to explain. According to her plans, everything was going alright so far. She just needed Levi to let go.
"Do yer not have faith in your sister?" Kenny's words from before started to reverberate in Levi's head.
Of course I have faith in her. It's just… Levi looked at the obstinate expression she wore, mixed with a stubborn determination that was refusing to give into him. At the same time, there was a small plea in her eyes; beseeching for him to let her go. It's just sometimes she's so… I just don't want her hurt.
And that singular thought just made him wonder, and somehow he found himself thinking back to the first time he met Mikasa.
It came to him as an abrupt surprise.
...
"It seems like yer' mother left another fucking brat." Was the first thing Kenny announced upon kicking the door open to let himself in, which did little to nothing to aid the child's cries; a child who looked so uncomfortable in Kenny's arms that Levi thought she was suffocating. The fact that Kenny, was for some reason, dripping wet from head to toe, drenched in rainwater also did little to nothing to soothe the child who was resting against him.
"Tch… this is why Ackermans shouldn't have fucking brats…" He groaned when the little girl's wails grew louder and louder, leading him to lay her on the couch (almost dropping her, until he remembered that children are physically fragile little shits).
Greeted by such unexpected news, the toddler version of Levi was having trouble processing the news. "…Huh?" was five-year old Levi's response as he swiftly made his way towards the broken and yellowed couch, confusion growing by the second.
"I thought—" He was cut off by another series of cries, and watched the little girl punch and kick the air helplessly, which made him briefly humour the thought that she was trying to get back at Kenny's poor handling of her. Although, he soon sunk back into a sullen mood when he remembered what he was about to say. "I thought my mother was… dead…?" He said a little louder so his query wouldn't be drowned by the cries of the new-born.
"She is now." He said without hesitance. "I already told yer', when I took yer' away, she was still alive, she just didn't want ya to see her body rot and decompose… so I took yer' away earlier. But she is dead now, a few months ago. And then I fucking found out through a source she had another kid with another shitty man who had stolen that brat away, planning to auction her or sell her off in 'er black market." He scoffed. "Yer can guess the rest of that shitty story."
"So, this is yer' shitty sis—" Once again, the child's ugly cries rudely interrupted him, daring to challenge what little patience his uncle already had. "Oh my fucking god, get that thing to shut up, will yer'? Before I decide to fucking return her." He threatened, earning a glare from Levi, who was still in the midst of processing everything.
Kenny only shrugged him off, making his way to the closet as he rummaged around for a packet of cigarettes before he started to make his way out, murmuring something about needing a smoke to cool off the vexation triggered by the blaring child.
"Wait!" Levi called out, "What's… her name?"
Kenny paused in his steps, taking an absurd amount of time to answer such a simple question. Unless he forgot; which wouldn't surprise Levi. He called him 'brat' more than his given name after all.
"Mikasa." He finally said, after a long contemplative silence that even Levi of the present could never understand why; why he said her name so coldly, like he had regretted bringing her back in the first place—and not just because of her screams and cries.
If he didn't want her alive, why did he go through the trouble to save her in the first place? Because she was his sister's child? The sister—Kuchel—that Levi knew he cared a lot about, even if he didn't show it externally. Because while he arrived late to the scene to help his mother, even someone as young as Levi could sense the remorse and care he had for her. He just showed it in a way that he could and would never be able to understand.
"The mother named her Mikasa." He confirmed, without looking back, and walked out to take a smoke.
"Mikasa.. hu—OI!" Levi yelped when he saw her nearly rolling off the couch in a fit of rage that he didn't understand where it could've possibly come from—then again, perhaps being suffocated by Kenny's strangely drenched clothes on the way here was a good enough reason for her tantrum that Levi couldn't one hundred percent fault her.
He proceeded to sit on the ground next to the couch once he shifted her back on the couch, much further away from the edge since her falling was the last thing Levi wanted. He watched her continuing to punch and kick about, "Hey—" He started off with a soothing voice, however it quickly escalated to irritation when one of her punches managed to land itself on Levi's face. And while it didn't exactly hurt, it did annoy him slightly. What did he do wrong?
"Oi. Tch." He grumbled, rubbing his nose; and what made him more annoyed was when Mikasa looked at him with red eyes that slowly turned bubbly after landing that baby punch, and then she started to giggle.
For a brief moment, Levi could understand why Kenny despised kids—even though, ironically, he still technically was one.
That feeling was quick to diminish when he noticed her tiny little hand reaching out towards him, not to give him another punch though. Almost instinctively, Levi's hand found itself going towards her, and before he knew it, Mikasa's little fist wrapped itself around his index finger tightly.
She started to smile and giggle more, and for one reason or another that had lit up Levi's heart, warming and then melting it when the thought that he was now a brother—that he actually had a sister finally registered within him.
She was the only thing—only person his mother left him with. A sister, a sibling. Someone who wasn't as suffocating as Kenny to be with him as they'd have to journey through what tough road was ahead of them.
His eyes softened, and although it wasn't more than a few minutes did he become a brother, he already felt this sense of protectiveness. Mikasa already felt more like family then Kenny ever did, who was always quick to disappear, barely stayed long enough unless it was to train him and whatnot. There was nothing that close about their relationship; but Mikasa… his sister… this child that showed him so much affection already by just holding onto him than Kenny who he had lived with for a year or so….
He had already grown a fondness.
And he didn't want to see her die like how his mother did. He was sure this time, he wouldn't be so hopelessly useless like when his mother was dying where all he could do was sit and watch. "I won't let anyone hurt you." He mumbled as a mellow sounding yawn left her lips, her little hand losing its grip as she found herself losing herself into sleep; which was either because all that crying had worn her out or because Levi's presence was comforting enough for the child to lower her guard and rest as opposed to Kenny's whose presence seemed like it was giving her high-blood pressure. Or maybe it was both. Regardless, Levi smiled; it was the first genuine smile he had since being separated from his mother. "I promise."
…
When the footsteps grew louder, he witnessed her eyes widening in fright, "I'll come back safe and alive, I promise." Was the last hushed thing she said before she started to make a run for it.
"Mika—!" And it was too late to chase or to call her as he felt a presence approaching him. Goddamnit.
"Who's there?" One of the guards queried upon spotting Levi's shadowy figure. They loosened their grip on their sword upon recognizing the figure ahead of them. "Oh. You're that Princess Mikasa Azu's guard, right?" The woman asked and Levi nodded.
"You can go and rest if you want. You don't have to worry, Paradis has stepped up their security. But if you insist like some of the Princess's personal guards, you can stand guard… but for Princess Azu's case, I don't think you have to."
A brow arched on Levi's face, his eyes narrowing, "What do you mean by that?"
"Oh, you didn't know?" She spoke, "The Prince was training with her, another elite guard and I—Nanaba by the way—stood and watched for a bit. She's quite skilled like Princess Leonhart haha! I can only imagine what Hizuru's training is like for her." She said as Levi found more disconcerting feelings starting to unravel within him. Training? With the Prince? He thought. I thought she went to rest.
"Trust me." She had said. And yet she was feeding him with lies.
"Have a good night." She wished before she continued to make her rounds, leaving Levi to stand alone there until the next guard would come by in a minute.
Wanting to avoid being questioned about his presence again, Levi entered Mikasa's room, shutting the door before he made his way towards her window, scanning the outside, wondering if he'd see her.
"That brat… honestly…" He grumbled. How can I trust her when she lied? What else did she lie about?
It wasn't impossible to leave this castle now, unnoticed to trail along with her. But it'd be difficult and a risk. What if someone came looking for him? Or Mikasa? It'd be hard enough to lie if both of them went missing, at least if he stayed, he could think of some lie to cover for her.
However, the chance of someone needing either one of them seemed unlikely. Everyone was already busy enough handling the situation that happened earlier today. Moreover, Mikasa had less experienced as compared to him when it came to these things, and it wasn't like he didn't have faith in her and her independence but he wasn't sure if she could do it.
I should go. He considered, before he started to think of the possibilities of what she and supposedly the Prince were going to do. Most likely… they're probably going to try to hunt the culprit behind that murder... Although, I don't understand that brat's full intentions with going…is she trying to find out something? If anything, that brat would never be this shittily reckless… so what pushed her?
Mikasa wasn't reckless in nature, unless it meant protecting someone she loved but in this case, that factor didn't apply. So… what could've possibly drove her to do this? To lie? To go against Levi?
Too many unanswered questions.
The obvious answer was that he should go, now. The risks outweighed whatever benefits she could gain from whatever 'bonding' and 'trip' she planned with the Prince. There was no physical mask for her to hide behind if she went mad. If she got caught.
She was the only person he considered family. He couldn't lose that. He already lost Isabel and Farlan. He already lost his mother too.
Just have faith in me, this once.
Please. Let me do this on my own for once.
I'll come back safe and alive, I promise.
Levi bit his lip. The obvious answer was that he should go… then, why was he hesitating?
He thought back to the look in her eyes, while she was indeed behaving so impertinently and recklessly, there was a look of desperation in her eyes, begging for him to just let go. And while he didn't exactly let go, she had ran off and away by herself before he could stop her.
If she was trying to prove something to him, trying to assert some sort of independence away from him because she didn't enjoy relying on him, Levi didn't think this was the right way or the right time to do it.
But… she's right. A voice emerged, ringing in his head. At some point, she needs to learn to be on her own, and realise the mistakes in her recklessness… you can't always be there for her. So don't go after her.
And what if she ends up dying? The monster whispered. Deep down, you know it isn't the right time for her to go off alone…
She… isn't easy to kill.
What if her bloodlust spirals out of control? That's a sentence worse than death.
If that happens… Levi started to clench his fist, as his mind went back and forth in what seemed like eternal contemplation. if that happens… And then he released that ball of frustration before it could tighten any more, a sigh leaving his lips. If that happens, I already have a plan… although I hope it won't come to that. For now….
"Fine, Brat." He reluctantly resigned, turning his heel and head away from the window, making his way towards the exit. "I'll have faith in you."
Author's Notes:
NEXT UPDATE: unknown; will be on HIATUS. (explained why below.)
Firstly, I want to apologise for the long wait; I'm sorry! And thank you for your patience to those who are still reading haha.
Secondly, I will be putting this fanfiction on hiatus. My other two ongoing fanfictions will be placed on hiatus as well once I publish the next chapters hopefully by the end of this month. Life's been getting a little more tough and stuff for me, leading to a drain for my interest in writing fanfictions I guess. Like, I still like writing in general, and I really do want to continue this and not put it on hiatus, but with the increasing dissatisfaction and decreasing passion (?) I have for my writing in general as well as some stuff in my personal life, I decided to go on a break. I try to update once a month, but I don't know if I can for the next month or the month after. Hopefully, my fanfictions will resume some time in November this year. I don't really want to leave them incomplete. I also don't want to put out lower quality writing and half-assed stuff so yeah.
Hopefully, if anyone's still reading this (lol), I hope you understand!
If you want to keep updated, I have two tumblr accounts: 'rosaline-kei' (more for fanfictions and doodles) and a new one called 'snkwritings' (where I post fake social media stuff between SnK characters!)*
*I know what you might thinking: It's hypocritical. However, unlike fanfictions where I have to write a lot of words as well as make sure that the plot does not have so many holes in it and makes sense and make sure characters aren't way OOC, creating fake tweets and such that won't have so much of a plotline as well as the fact I can exaggerate characters slightly is easier and not that tiresome? In a way I guess; I don't know.
I hope you all understand, and I hope this chapter wasn't too long. The next chapter (which I will hopefully post in November) will most likely be about Mikasa and Eren now, and some Hanji here and there. I feel like I didn't explain Hanji's mixed feelings with Levi that well enough here, and I hope to do so more smoothly in the upcoming chapters.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Please leave a review! Constructive Criticism is welcomed.
