Chapter Six: All The Goodbyes We Say
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Nine And A Half Years After Mark Left--Roger's Perspective
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"I just want a few minutes before..." Roger whispered in Mimi's ear and he felt her hand squeezes his.
He walked away from where the group stood before turning his attention to where the urn sat on small stool.
"You lied, Collins. We never got be a family again before you left. So, much for the family always stick together. But you're gone, Angels gone...Mark's out of the picture." He whispered.
Roger's emotions were winning his own personal war. The years had been going so well, that even Roger sometimes temporarily dimmed the demons that haunted him. He had been doing well enough to do small scale tours, a CD...nothing big, but he didn't want big. He and Mimi had gotten married, Collins had returned, things were going well despite the missing pieces. He had been able to dim thoughts of April's suicide, withdrawal, the diagnosis, Angel's death, giving away his kids, Mark's departure...
He stood there for a few moments, before turning to rejoin the group who had made their way to the back of the church. As he walked away he saw a figure emerge from the side of the church, from the shadows, must have been watching Roger...watching...
Roger stopped and watched as the man mad his way to the front, unaware that he was now the one being watched.
"Hey, Collins...I'm sorry we didn't get much time to talk when you were...well, the other night...but now you know why. I'm sorry Collins...but I don't think I can keep my promise...I'm sorry...for everything."
The man stood there for a few moments before heading out the door at the side of the church. Roger followed.
"No, Mark." Roger's voice rose coming out the door. "You don't get to just walk away this time."
Mark turned around, "Roger."
They stood there for a few moments just looking at each other. Roger eyes scanned the many he hadn't seen for nine years. Mark looked, to Roger, more or less the same as he always had...like he had never changed since the day he left. Maybe that's how Roger wanted to see him...
"Why...the hell...did you come back?" Roger's temper getting the best of him.
"Benny found my number...called me...I came to say good bye."
"Well, I think you made that perfectly clear when you disappeared...nine years ago."
"Rog..."
"Nine years, Mark. Nine. Without a phone call, without anything...and now you think you can just show up."
Mark wasn't responding; he was just taking it.
"Typical." Roger nearly yelled. "Just typical Mark, sit there and take it don't fight it...do you even feel anything Mark?" He started coming closer to Mark's face forcing the filmmaker to keep taking steps backwards, "Did you feel guilty for leaving? Did you feel awful for not coming back? Did it kill you to find out that Collins was dead? Are you hurt that you're not welcomed back with open arms? Can you say something Mark? Or do we need to find someone to talk for you? I know maybe we can ask your camera...maybe then we'll find your voi..."
In one swift motion Mark exploded, grabbing Roger's shirt and pushing against the side of the building, the anger in his voice out growing Rogers, "Don't you dare. Don't you dare think you know everything about me...even when we lived together, you didn't know shit. I'm sorry that I decided to have a life that didn't focus on making you the center of attention...Damnit Roger. You don't why I left." Mark faltered afraid of saying the wrong words; any word that could make this situation worse.
Roger, still in shock from the outburst of anger on Mark's parts, struggled for words, "Well whose fault is that? Yours. You left...Mark when you left...it really screwed things up. With everything that was happening...Mimi was upset...Maureen wouldn't talk for a week...we didn't know what was going on...I didn't know what to do..."
Mark walked right up to Roger's face, and with conviction in each word, "Poor baby."
Mark could have punched him and it would have hurt less...the demons that haunted him...
Both men stood there in the church's alleyway, neither one daring to say anything more. Both knowing that they had said what they had wanted to say, but not what they needed.
"Roger..."
"Tell me then...why did you leave?"
Mark struggled to find the words, knowing now the best and worst thing he could do at this moment was to bring the boys into the picture. "There was something I needed to do...and I couldn't bring you into it...you didn't want to be brought into it... you made that clear...and I couldn't do it anymore..."
"Mark, what are you talking about?" Roger looked over confused.
"...And there was a job offer...I knew you would think I was selling out. Maybe I did...But that's not the point..." Mark was getting desperate for words, "One thing led to another, I did come back, sort of, twice. Right before I left New York, I stood on the corned and forced myself not to climb the four flights to the left. Then in Chicago..."
"Chicago?...I had a concert in Chicago," Roger started not looking at Mark anymore, "I was signing autographs and I saw you...I didn't think it was you, I saw a kid with you...I thought that if it was you, you would have came and talk to me...but it was you."
Mark nodded. "Roger..."
"Roger?" The door they had come out of opened to reveal Mimi. "Roger? What...Mark? Oh my God, Mark!"
Mark smiled as she rushed towards him nearly toppling him, he looked over at Roger, 'At least some one's forgiven me' written on his face.
"Hey, Mimi, it's good to see you again." He said as he continued to hug her.
"How long are back for?"
"Not long. I came in three days ago, but I've got to go get back to work, so not for much longer. But I've got to pick up the kids so we can make the flight on time."
"Kids?" Maureen asked from the doorway. "Marky is a daddy?...I don't believe it."
Joanne just gave him a look.
"Yeah. I really should get going..." He went over to Roger and pulled out a scrap of paper and a pen from his pocket and wrote down his phone number, "Here. This time, I'll only be disappearing if you don't call."
Roger took the paper and watched as Mark walked away.
"Mark!" He called, "The phone works both ways."
Mark nodded and walked out of sight. Roger pulled in Mimi towards him and made his way back into the church.
"Roger..."
"Not now..."
Mimi sighed.
"Later, I promise."
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There we go you guys...So, last chapter and this chapter have been two of the hardest, and therefore probably two of my favorite chapters to write...and I would really appreciate some response. Especially, since (if you've read any of my other stuff...you already know this) I am more comfortable writing from POVs...so don't be afraid to leave a little review.
Thank you all. So much for taking the time to read this. There still much to sort out between Mark and the rest of the gang.
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Until next time, this is me...signing out
