Dun own squat. Don't own KH, nor FF, nor Sephiroth, though I wish I did. (Pout).

Omg! A second chapter! Certainly an achievement. But I couldn't leave this fic alone.

Yay for OOC goodness!

-Cloud Hunting Season:Chapter Two

By: Smiley-chan

Its hard not to admire the city of Olympus. You can be walking down a brightly lit street bustling with merchants and overpriced Greek restaurants (plaster-pillars with cherubs playing with weapons, grape-vine motif, the like) and without warning, smash your face into the nearly vertical cliff of the unclimable and hostile Mt. Olympus. A ring of threatening storm clouds hovers around its peak like a deceiving halo. And above this veil, it is rumored that Zues and the other inbred gods of these people live in luxury condos, sip fine wine, and watch mortals suffer on plasma screens. Needless to say, I wish I could join them. Minus the incest.

This is exactly what I begin to think as I am once again forced to spend my time with this plink-clad-happy-pill-on-legs-turned-bestest-gal-friend. It is meal time and I admit( begrudingly) that I am still mortal and need to consume dead life-forms to function. When Aerith caught on to this, she literally dragged me to the closest, busiest and loudest Greek restaurant. Im not really a fan of the environment, nor it of me. I swear, they were all staring at me so hard, that they might as well thrown their eyeballs at me and screamed 'Get the hell out of this fine establishment, you evil black-clad goth! Leave us to our freshly laundered togas!' They didnt actually say this of course. All they did was look at me. Oh, but they wanted to.

The waitresses dont seem to mind though. One in particular (the name tag said Hiya! My name is ANLETHIAN). She has the special ability to make me feel violated simply by taking our order the way she does. I shiver.

It has already been two weeks since we received our mission. Within the first few days I had considered preforming ritual suicide (with whatever object, sharp or dull, was within reach) and go hang with my old military friend Zack while floating down the river Styx. My hopes were crushed when I discovered that I was apparently not allowed to die. It struck after I sat there a few minutes wondering why I wasnt... bleeding. Damn you Hades. Damn you to that...hell...you live in...wow. That was brilliant.

This curse I figure, was meant to work in several different ways. The first obviously to prevent me from escaping this torture through means of self-destruction, and to ensure that no matter now many times I am beaten silly over the head with a blunt keyblade (whatever the hell that happens to be), I wont receive a concussion. Either way, I begin to regret ever laying a pen to that contract. When once again I carry my own life in my hands, I will take great pleasure in slaying every being that made this trip worse living hell. Aerith, then Cloud, the punk "ninja" who jacked my materia, "Leon" for reasons yet to be revealed, Mother, that sonuvabitch Ansem, Foul talking magical animals. The list has grown far to long.

The food finally arrives, and Aeriths eyes sparkle with a kind of avarice I have not even seen in myself. Fact I did not previously know about the Abominable Aerith. It has a voracious appetite. No joke. How much crap she puts down is disturbing to say the least. Disgusting. However, I have seen the bright side, and keep hoping that shell stab herself with that shish-kabob stick she just finished off so spectacularly.

I am spared her incessant chatter seeing as her mouth is sufficiently full for the moment, and she possesses the bare civility not to speak with her mouth full. I have a brief period of time to meditate over issues and events of the day, which trust me, I wish I didnt have to ponder about.

It was only this morning that a rare and faint spark of curiosity drove me to explore the habitat that I am living in. As I expected there wasnt anything much to see, unless of course dirt happens to interest you. However, as I passed through several stages of extreme boredom, I gathered from many sources (meaning gossipy teenagers who dont know how to lower their voices) that there was some kind of 'Coliseum' a mile away. Watching a bunch of losers sissy-fight eachother. Oh joy. But seeing as entertainment is hardly common, Im wasnt in much of a position to pass anything up. Perhaps I would find some kind of challenge, or find a clue that would bring me one step closer to taking a match to thatsatanic contract I am under.

As I approached this building, I began to recall chocobo corrals that inspired more awe. A sign was nailed to the wall. Written in greek, then translated in smaller print were the words- Welcome to the Olympus Coliseum: Communal Battle Arena of the Worlds Most Prestigious Heroes.

...Whatever. For such a great place, its a bit of a dump.

"Hey, Sephy-boy, hows it hangin?"

Its rather bad for your teeth to grind them, but I found myself doing it anyway. "Fine, or at least it was."

Hades chuckled, and I was reminded of how much I wished he wasnt immortal. "Hey, I thought it would all be going good, considering your rep. But hey, the quality of villains these days, they just dont make em like they used to, eh Seph?"

Twitch.

"I was just in here, causing a little mischief. Checking up on another on of my employees-"

Another mortal harassed into a contract. A few more of these and we can have a we-hate-hades club. I can tell you who would be the president.

"-stupid pineapple-headed kid. His hair probably does more damage than his sword-."

Gracious, does that remind me of someone I know.

"-and getting little kids killed by giving them passes into the tournament. Take it from me kid, having no conscience is a blast."

...youre telling me...

"Which reminds me." The disturbing blue being reached into the folds of his toga and pulled out what looked similar to a blue pamphlet. "You'll be wanting this for the tournament."

Why I'd want a piece of paper thats been in some guys cloths is beyond me. This might have been why I stood there for a moment and just stared at Hades like he was the idiot I knew him to be.

"What does this paper allow me to accomplish", I asked impatiently. Hades pretended to not have heard me, seemingly engrossed in picking something out of his ear with those talon-like fingers.

"Weelll, Seph. I do expect you to win this thing by a landslide. Ill be ever so disappointed if not." The change of subject was not so easily missed. "Smell ya later."

And with that, he disappeared in a twirl of blue smoke.

...What the hell?

If it was possible, I had begun to trust Hades even less. I stared at the sky wondering if Zues was watching all my suffering. That's it, Zues goes on my fucking list. Why arent you using your God-dom to do something productive? Use your incest-induced powers to smite your evil useless brother. SMITE hiiiiiiiiim.

I hadn't realized that I had vocalized these extreme thoughts, until a few feet away a small child began to cry uncontrollably. His mother gave me a furtive glace, and ushered her toddler away. At this moment I pretended to be interested in the list of competitors until they were far out of site. There was a ridiculous amount of heartless teams. Heartless arent that intelligent. I dont see how they get all the way up to the second seed. Then again, the human competitors can't be all that intelligent either, seeing as they drag themselves up to this dung-heap every morning to bash a whole bunch of heartless.

I nearly skipped over it, as it was buried under the thousands of heartless groups for one reason or another. I could almost feel the beginnings of an almost smile and my shallow heart gave a tiny leap. One more thing that has made my life a little less difficult. Cloud Strife, participating in this rookie competition? Of all the dumb luck. Yeah sure. That's one huge coincidence.

Well, the time was least looking forward to came as I decided that it was a good time to actually...go inside. As I pushed open the doors, the opposite door swung open revealing what appeared to me as a walking shag rug.

I wasnt to far off either. Except shag rugs show a lot more emotion than this rock. This rug is named "Squall". Or "Leon" depending on whether or not you about damaging his precious emo heart.

Sarcasm kills.

He stared blankly at me, like I was a mere poke in his perpetually mundane little life. Sue me, I stared back. What the hell else are you supposed to do? I know how to play this game well.

He blinked.

My inner voices cheer, for I the Great Sephiroth, have triumphed.

I think it is a good thing that he and I come from separate worlds. First off, because around here, no one really has gotten a whiff of my...reputation. I dont need two protagonists on my tail. Second, there would be an ongoing battle of the bishies. Cause lets face it, for all his stupid emo-headedness, his constipation of expression-

Hes the second sexiest thing on this floating rock.

And he knows it.

Kekeke. But not as sexy as me.

Okay...why was he still staring at me. Doesn't he have some kind of place he needs to be? Like a place where emos and beatniks gather? If not, then he needs to high-tail it out of here, before I have a nervous breakdown. I feel like Im about to get jumped, and that can be a very scarring experience. I don't think I could handle it.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "...I know you..."

Gasp! Its speaks. Speak again emo shag-rug!

"Do you." I respond dully.

He raised an eyebrow then smirked slightly. "No."

Uh...wait a moment, did I miss something? Either my brain temporarily went into hibernation (which it happens to do on occasion) or this Leon thing...did something confusing.

It seemed that Leon became slightly amused (or something) upon seeing what would be my perplexed expression. With a small flick, he used the back of his hand to send strands of mahogany fly through the air and back into his eyes. The action was repeated. Having finished, he smirked, taking his leave.

...was that a challenge Leonhart? Do you seriously think you can out-sexy me?

I HOPE YOU GET SQUASHED BY A FAT CHOCOBO MR. I-CAN-DOUBLE-FLIP-MY HAIR-SQUALL-"LEON"-SHAGRUG-LEONHART!

He spun around, his eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

Did I say that out loud?

:)yes...rr, ne? Man, this chapter was short. I think I'll make the next one longer. Thank you to my beloved reviewers:

manyissues101- thanx X3 Squall is emotionally constipated.

Princess Leo- lol. don't die over there.

RedCrow1120- hehe. Thank you. lol. Its Yosemite Sam! XD actually, you have no idea how many times me and my cousin went around saying "Be vewy vewy quiet! I'm hunting Cwouds!"

Lain of the Weird- :D muchos gracias.

DragonRose13- "I KNOW! WE CAN POP THEM" D

shale101- arigatou.

boredperson- tanku.