Gwen's POV:
I spent the first part of last night trying to dissect what went wrong between Seth and I that could have made him storm out of my apartment in such a rush. I then spent the second part of the night realizing how far I allowed things to get without talking to Leah. Maybe that was my karma, the possibility of me and Seth working out came crashing down as I somehow managed to scare the guy off with merely being naked beneath him.
I am truly and utterly humiliated and I quite literally never want anyone to be that close to my naked body again.
Waking up some of my humiliation has turned into anger, but I try to suppress it for now. All I can think about is that I need to talk to Leah, I need to get this guilt off my chest.
I shower quickly and skip on breakfast, not thinking I could bare eating right now. There's such a big pit in my stomach, I feel sick. I have no idea how she might react to all of this, but I'm willing to bet she would have been less mad if we never hooked up. I should have stopped things from getting this far, it's my fault I'm in this situation right now.
I sent Leah a text after I showered, asking if she could come over to talk about something that's been on my mind. She seems worried but agreed and in the mean time I cleaned up my apartment, trying to collect my thoughts on how to tell her. It's quite embarrassing having to tell your friend you have a crush on her little brother and it's even worse admitting that we've done more than just kissed during a drinking game.
The knock on my door rings through my whole body and I feel my heart quicken in anticipation. Quickly I huff in a deep breath and pull the door open. Leah's in her casual, lazy attire as she has a shift after this conversation. A smile rises on her face but when I can hardly meet it, she frowns. "You have me panicking a bit Gwen, what's going on?" She moves past me, taking a seat on my couch.
I slowly sink into the spot next to her, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as I swallow, gathering my thoughts. My mind feels blank all of a sudden and I don't know where to start. "I'm just gonna spit this out and then explain myself after." I start, my voice a little shaky. Leah's my best friend and I can normally tell her anything, but she's had such a hard couple years. I don't want to upset her again or worry her. "More happened between me and Seth than just the kissing at Quil's house." I pause, waiting for her reaction. She merely just narrows her eyes, seemingly confused. She wait's for me to continue. "It happened yesterday and I didn't expect it to, but it did."
"Did you have sex with him?" She asks, sounding shocked that this is what we're discussing.
I quickly shake my head, "No, we just did other stuff." I keep the details to an absolute minimum. "The truth is basically ever since the pack had split I've developed a crush on Seth and I tried to suppress it because of the imprinting, but things have kind of gotten more complicated lately. Before the kissing at the party nothing serious had ever happened." My heart is pounding, waiting for her to yell at me and tell me I'm an idiot.
"Does he know you like him like that?" Her voice is still the same level of calmness it's been since she walked through the door, but still I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.
I shake my head, "I don't think so, I mean he knows I'm attracted to him at least. We never really talked about any of it."
She nods, taking a moment to process what I told her. "Okay..why haven't you told me if you've liked him all this time?"
A lump forms in my throat and I'm not quite sure why. "I didn't want to upset you." I start, shaking my head. "I also didn't want to admit it for a while because it doesn't really matter how I feel, I mean he didn't imprint on me so nothing can ever happen."
There's a long pause of silence until Leah breaks any shred of hope I was holding onto. "I'm sorry Gwen, but you're right nothing can ever happen. Look, if Seth wasn't a wolf I would not give a single shit if you liked my brother or not. I would actually love to have you as my sister." She laughs lightly at that before her face becomes solemn again. "I don't want either of you to get hurt over a crush."
It feels like she threw ice water of my head. There's the simple answer, nothing can happen, we'd both end up hurt.
I slowly nod, trying to swallow away the pain in my throat. It burns, the lump feels so large I can't get it to calm. "I'm sorry." She repeats again, her warm hand reaching out, handing onto my knee. She gives me a squeeze and I nod, trying to muster up the courage to grow up a little bit.
"I know, nothing more will ever happen. I just wanted to tell you the truth, I'm sorry I hid it from you." My lip quivers a little but I bite on it hard, trying to calm myself down.
She gives me a sad smile. "You were confused, don't be sorry. We'll find you someone way cooler than my brother." She wraps an arm around me giving me a squeeze.
Seth's POV:
I'm waiting a bit impatiently for Gwen to show up to the Cullen's. I'm half wondering if she's arriving so close to the time I have patrol so she can avoid me, but I try not to think like that. I'm holding onto the hope that I didn't totally screw up every chance I had with Gwen last night. She's the sweetest, most selfless and genuine person I have ever met. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be so lucky that she'll hear me out.
She has every right to hate me though, I would hate me if I was her. I acted like a complete virgin idiot, running out of her apartment like that. I couldn't even come up with a half decent excuse either, I just fled the scene as fast as I could.
"Seth, are you alright?" Jasper frown at me, motioning to my bouncing leg. I pause, not realizing I was even doing that.
I quickly nod, running a hand through my hair. "All good!" I try to sound convincing, giving him a quick smile. I know Jasper doesn't by that at all, he can sense exactly how I feel. Still he lets it go, giving me one more calculated look before walking away and into the arms of Alice.
Gwen's supposed to help the girls out today with setting up the nursery for Bella, who's currently napping. She's getting more and more weak and tired, I think the baby will be here pretty fast. Jake's in denial over that though, assuring everyone it's far too early for the baby to already be here. I think he's just really scared something bad will happen to Bella, that's all he really cares about. I mean that is everyone's first priority of course.
I hear tires roll across the pebbles in the driveway and my head perks up, my eyes darting towards the door. Jake plops down in the seat beside me on the couch, groaning about how long patrol will be today. Emmett takes the spot across from me on the other couch, talking to Jake about some new video game.
I tune them both out the moment Gwen and Leah walk through the front door. Leah looks cool, relaxed. She wears the same bored expression she always does when she has patrol. Her eyes flash to mine and I wonder for a moment if Gwen told her what I did. I feel my face redden, but Leah merely walks past me towards the kitchen.
Gwen seems to be purposely avoiding my gaze. She keeps her head down as she walks, careful to remain far out of my path. She looks up finally, but she smiles at someone behind me. I turn to see Rosalie there, wearing a bit of a smile too. Alice is next to Rosalie in a moment with a pile of baby clothes cluttering her arms. "Ready Gwen?" She asks.
Gwen gives her a tight smile and nods, walking faster towards them.
This is my only chance for the day. I shoot up out of my seat, "Gwen." I say her name, trying to gain her attention.
To my surprise she keeps walking, pretending as if she didn't even hear me. My stomach sinks. Yeah I really screwed things up. "Gwen?" I prompt again, walking around the couch and in her direction as she moves towards the stairs. Gwen simply walks up the stairs, right past Alice and Rosalie. I glance up and notice Alice is looking at me, concern creasing her features. Embarrassed, I run the back of my neck and walk away, in defeat.
Everyone's getting ready to go on patrol when Emmett and Jake pull me aside to the far side of the house, far enough away from everyone else so they can't hear us. I inwardly groan, knowing what they're going to ask about. Gwen gave me the cold shoulder and it stung. God I am a complete moron. I don't even know why she kissed me. She's the hottest woman I know, I meant what I said for the dare. I'm just an inexperienced idiot.
"Dude what's going on with you and Gwen?" Emmett demands, looking a little pissed off. He and I have always had a good relationship, but he adores Gwen, just like everyone else. I realize how bad it looks that she was ignoring me in there. It's not easy to piss her off and get on her bad side, she's a nice person to everyone she meets.
"I didn't even know it was possible for you to piss her off, what'd you do?" Jake asks. Big mouth Jake. I know if I tell them he's going to go off and tell everyone else, but right now all I care about is clearing the air with Gwen. Sure it will be humiliating, but I just need to man up a bit. She was naked and soaking wet right in front of me, literally moaning my name, and I couldn't even wait long enough for her to touch me.
She far exceeded the many..many ways I imagined she would look beneath her clothes. The way she smelt, the way she looked, god the way she moaned. My dick twitches now at the idea of it all.
Emmett crosses his arms when I don't answer, looking more pissed by the second. "I fucked up." I groan, embarrassed to be admitting this.
"How?" Jake frowns.
I let out a sigh, looking around to make sure no ones gotten any closer to us, especially Leah. "Yesterday when I was taking her home she invited me in to hang out and we ended up making out." I start off but Emmett's face turns from pissed to excited instantly.
"No way, nice!" He holds out his hand for a high-five but purse my lips and shake my head. He drops his hand confused.
"Well I ended up.." My face grows hot. I don't want to tell anyone about this very private moment I had with her, I feel like I'm betraying her even admitting that she hooked up with me. She may not want anyone to know this stuff, it may embarrass her that people know she kissed me without being forced to do it in a game.
Jake cuts in. "We aren't going to tell Gwen you told us." He assures me. I've always thought of Jake as my big brother, my mentor. I look up to him, even before we were in a pack together. But he has a history of having a big mouth.
I nod slowly. "I ended up eating her out." I struggle to get out the words, not looking at either of them.
"So what's the problem? Did she finish?" Emmett's eyebrows string together, trying to understand.
I nod my head. "No she did, but then I.." I trail off, running a hand through my hair. Come on Seth, pull of the band-aid. "I finished in my pants when she did." I say the words quietly, closing my eyes for a moment. I've been humiliated about the whole thing ever since it happened. I can't believe it happened to me. I've heard stories and seen it in tv shows, but for it to actually to me and with Gwen of all people? I could die of embarrassment.
I look up at Emmett, but he's not laughing or smiling, he's just giving me a sincere look. Pity. "It happens man, it happened to me when I was fifteen and still a human." He sympathizes.
I look at Jake and he's clearly fighting back a smile. "So what happened after that?"
I let out a breath. "I freaked out and I literally put on my shoes and left while she was still.." I trail off, shaking my head at the memory. They get the idea of it.
"You left literally directly after she finished?" Emmett pipes up.
I nod in defeat. "I freaked out. I was so embarrassed and I couldn't tell her. Gwen is literally-"
Jake cuts me off. "Hot as fuck and you left her in bed, leg spread and naked?" He chuckles out the words.
Emmett booms with later, no longer sympathizing for me. "Oh god Seth." He places a hand on my shoulder, still laughing and then adds, "Oh god poor Gwen."
I groan scrubbing my hands over my face. He's not making me feel any better, neither of them are. "So now she's pissed at me, rightfully so, but I don't know what to do. When I tell her she's gonna laugh in my face."
Jake sighs, shaking his head. "You need to tell her. It doesn't look good that you left like that, she's probably worried that she did something to scare you off. Sex is vulnerable stuff."
My heart sinks and I bow my head. "You think so?"
"Oh yeah. Girls take things to heart, I mean anyone would take that to heart. She probably thinks you didn't like it or something." That's literally impossible. It was better than any porn or any fantasy could do, way better.
Emmett clasps a hand on my shoulder, squeezing. "Let her cool off while you're on patrol and the next time you see her try to talk to her. Tell her the truth and beg for forgiveness." I nod my head, he's right, it's the only way to make things better. There's no way she's going to give me another chance, but she has to know it was all me, not anything wrong with her.
