Well, well, well! Aren't we cheery today? Ok, I know that this is a weird story, so just bear with me, ok? Anyways, I don't own these characters, and you're about to find out why. Hope you like it:0D By the way, I can't spell Carolyn Lamm's last name, so I'm spelling it like that.
Chapter 2
"Teal'c, I found out why everyone is acting so strange around you," said Dr. Lamm.
"Why are you not?" asked Teal'c.
"Because I know why. Once they find out why they're acting so strange around you, they won't act strange around you, anymore. You all were affected by a virus called A.S.A.T."
"I have not heard of such a thing," Teal'c told her.
"It stands for Act Strange Around Teal'c. Once you tell them this, they will stop acting strange around you," Lamm said.
"How do you know this?" asked Teal'c.
"Because I'm a doctor, and I have a degree that allows me to make up names for diseases that don't really exist, just so I can get more money. So go tell them, before you forget," Carolyn said.
Teal'c left the infirmary, and headed to Landry's office. He knocked on the door, and went in after being given permission.
"Oh, it's you," Landry sneered. "What do you want?"
"You have a disease call ASAT," he said, then walked over to the desk and pressed on the intercom. "Everyone on this base has been infected with a virus called ASAT. Do not eat the blue jello, or you will be shot," Teal'c said, then left the office.
An hour later, he met up with Cameron in the cafeteria.
"Are you well, Colonel Mitchell?" asked Teal'c.
"What kind of question is that! I want blue jello! I want to live! Where's Arnold Swartznigger when you need him! Ahhhhhh!" Cameron screamed, then threw his orange jello at the wall, and it slowly ran down the wall. "I want blue jello! Where's my blue jello! You!" he shouted, pointing at Teal'c. "You took it all, didn't you! Oh, I heard your little message! Give it, now!"
Teal'c pulled blue jello out of his pants pockets and gave it to Cameron, who ate it.
"Gracias, senorita," he told him, then left.
Teal'c slowly backed out of the room...again.
"Oh, you're not going anywhere!" Sam shouted. "Get your bahookie back here right now! Daniel tells me you used the name Bond for yours?"
"I did," Teal'c said.
"Well, we're gonna have to find out your last name, then, aren't we?" Sam asked.
"My last name is Bond...for now. When the time comes, I will know my last name-"
"Then you're Vader, not Bond. Never use Bond, ever, ever, again!" she shouted, then slapped him and stomped off.
Teal'c went to look for Daniel, and found him in his quarters.
"Dr. Jackson, I have a new last name. It is Vader," Teal'c told him.
"Vader? Vader!" Daniel shouted.
Teal'c punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground. "Dr. Jackson, I am Teal'c Vader. Nothing you say will change that," he said, then laughed evilly.
"Fine," Daniel said, then gave Teal'c an evil glare. "But I'm Daniel Jackhammer! Bwa ha ha ha!"
The End
Seriously.
Of this chapter. Come back soon...
