(A/N: Another snack in the Lunch box! I hope you like this; this was inspired by Nobody's Fool by Avril Lavinge, its set immediately after spellbound… like right after malchior betrays her.
I don't own Teen Titans, and I probably never will…)
Shivers spread down my arms and my back, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. My body went numb and I stared at the tiled roof of Titans Tower, the damned white leather book in my hand. I watched as my snow-white cape turned black and blue again. The painful physical reminder that I was an emotionless being, and unfeeling.
Pain was a confusing matter, it could be physical like someone stabbing a knife through your back, or it could be mental, hypothetically stabbing a knife through your back. The latter was what I was feeling, but someone could stab a knife through my back, it might make the pain of losing him go away.
Betrayal was a confusing matter. Having someone you cared for so much just leave you for something better. Someone said that there was always going to be someone stronger, faster, prettier and smarter then you.
But I knew I was being stupid and childish, thinking that the pain would go away so easily. The other Titans stood around me, staring at me like I was pathetic. And I hated that feeling more then anything. I almost wanted to cry, I felt like crying, like laying on the cold, hard tiled roof and sobbing my eyes out. Why not? I deserved to cry, I deserved to feel. But the safety of my friends and the people of Jump City was greater then my stupid mistakes.
"Raven?" Robin's voice was soft from in front of me. I looked up at him with pleading eyes. I gulped down my sorrows and blinked back my tears.
"I'm fine." I insisted, a lie I really didn't need to tell, he knew I was lying, it was Robin for Azar's sake, he could see almost everything. I glanced from titan to titan, staring at their faces for a quick moment. I glanced first up at Robin, his face was in a frown, his masked eyes looked sad, but one could never be too sure. Next was Cyborg, the robot man's human eye held sorrow in his dark iris. He stared down at me with pity and shook his head, he kept glancing at the book.
Starfire's usual happy, joyful green eyes held sorrow as she had tears in her eyes, she held her arms and shifted uncomfortably, her eyes fixated on the ground, she sniffled and didn't make eye contact with me.
Beast Boy. His green eyes were a mix of emotion, sorrow, anger, and pity. He stood, staring, like the others, his jaw clenched and he was uncomfortable with the whole thing. After a few minutes of an awkward silence, not one of the Titans made a move towards me.
I glared heatedly at the roof, occasionally sending looks towards the book. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Beast Boy, kneeling beside me. I stared up at him, tears forming in my eyes. He was so close, too close. "Rae, you can cry you know." He whispered softly, his deep green eyes searching mine.
My bottom lip quivered, as much as I didn't want it too. As my attempt to keep my tears suppressed was futile, I decided the changeling was right. I swallowed my fears and let the tears fall down my cheeks, they hit the tile with small sprinkling sounds. My arms shook with my weight that I couldn't hold. I collapsed on Beast Boy's lap and cried into his shoulder, my tears soaking his shoulder.
"I'm sorry." I muttered out between my cries. "I'm sorry." I cried harder, one of the metal parts of the roof blew off and fell with a splash into Jump City Bay.
"You're not the one that needs to be sorry Raven." Beast Boy said quietly, putting his hand on my back. "You're not the one."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I decided it was time that I put the book away, it had been a week since Malchior tricked me and almost killed the Titans. I lifted the lid of my dark ebony wood chest and placed the white book in it carefully. It's white covering stood out against the dark wood and I stared at it for a minute, contemplating whether I should send it through the shredder or not.
I sighed undecided and did the best thing I could think of at the moment. I shut the lid. I stood up and stood in the middle of my room, its dark and somewhat creepier interior was the perfect haven for a dark, creepy goth like me.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door, I didn't bother moving and shifted my eyes to look up at it, staring at it, waiting. I knew I shouldn't be depressed, I was Raven. I didn't do emotions, I didn't do feelings. I guess dragons disguised as magicians will do that to you. There was still a big hole in my ceiling, and I was going to make sure that Robin was going to get that fixed…
"Raven? It's me. Look, I'm sorry." Beast Boy's sympathetic voice came from the other side of the door. I walked up closer to the door and stared at it sadly. I dared not open the door yet, I still couldn't face the other Titans.
"For what? You're not the one who-" I stared, looking down at the ground, regretting that I ever let that stupid dragon speak one word to me.
"No." He interrupted, his voice was still yet to be matured. "I'm sorry that—he broke your heart."
I swallowed hard, my eyes staring directly at the ground. "I know it was all a lie, but he was the only person who ever made me feel like I wasn't--- creepy." I said and put a hand to my chest, admitting that I was creepy." I paused. "And don't try to tell me I'm not." I insisted sorrowfully.
"Okay, fine, you're way creepy." His voice sounded again. "But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room. You think you're alone Raven, but you're not."
My eyes lifted from the floor to the door and I bit my lip. I pressed in the combination for the door to open. It slide open and I stood there, staring at Beast Boy. Beast Boy, staring back at me. I looked at him with sorrow in my eyes, but, I felt--- almost a little bit happy. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him and embraced him. It felt so good to hug him.
"Uh-" He started, like he was confused. He suddenly pulled me back at I stared at him. He stared back at me and it was like two dolts staring back at each other, not really knowing what to say, or how to say it. Suddenly, Beast Boy was socked in the head and fell to the ground.
"BOOYAH!" Cyborg's voice boomed and he came into the picture, the "Stank ball" was covering beast Boy's face, its foul odor filling the hallway. I stared at Beast Boy, then back to Cyborg. I picked it up and stared at it, then I smirked and stared at Cyborg.
"Uh, Raven, come on now." He started and back away. The ball was encased in a black flaming aura and I smirked devilishly back at Cyborg.
"No Cyborg, you better watch out." I said and suddenly, the stank ball collided with his head and he fell backwards.
"I win." I said softly and watched Cyborg run down the hall like a scared little girl.
"Ahahaha!" Beast Boy laughed. "Nice one Rae!" He said happily as he stood up. I gave a weak smile, then turned to go back in my room. "Hey Raven?" Beast Boy asked nervously from behind me.
"What?" I asked quietly. He blushed, looked down at the ground and then looked back up at me.
"You should come to the festival with me tomorrow, it would be fun." He said and stared back at me.
I was a little taken aback by him, but I shrugged slightly. "Sure." I said, what did I have to loose? Well, I bet I could think of a lot of things, but it didn't matter right now, what mattered was that I was going to a festival, where there were loads of people, loud rides, people puking, and junk food. Fabulous. At least there wouldn't be any paper men there…
