Chp 2

It was raining still as I passed the sign, indicating I was in Forks. Home to 3,120-ish people. The number could not have been so accurate. They hadn't changed the welcome sign since I was a little girl. From the beginning of town to the reservation I only had about 45-minutes left in the car. As I crossed over the bridge and came into town, memories of my entire life played through my head. I came to the only main intersection in town and looked around at the red light. There was the diner we used to have Sunday breakfast at with the Swan's, it looked the same. Across the street was the old grocery store that didn't look like it had changed either. The entire intersection looked the exact same. Even down to the single four-way traffic light that hung from the same ratty wire.

The light turned green and I continued through the intersection. I drove out of downtown and turned left down a back road. Gravel sputtered under my little hatchback as a white cloud of dust trailed behind me. My hatchback didn't handle these roads like my old truck used to. I finally pulled my 90's Civic hatch-back into the muddy driveway of my old house.

My headlights shined in through the screen door on the front. I turned off the car and stepped out. The porch door slammed open, clacking against the side of the house as it shut. I noticed they had installed a new ramp for Dad's wheelchair, it was the only noticeable change. I turned and saw my brother and father, looking at me from the porch. Immediately I crumbled to the ground, leaning against my car. I started uncontrollably sobbing and shaking. What the hell was wrong with me? I knew the answer – I had immense guilt from having left them. I still hadn't regretted the decision to leave Forks and go to Seattle. Even if it was for myself.

As I leaned against my car, falling into the mud I felt someone pull me to my feet. It was Jacob. I looked up at him as he wrapped his arms around me. I buried my snotty face into his shirt. He ran his hands up and down my back, trying to calm me as I let it all out. Even though I was his big sister, I was a bigger mess. He usually was the one to act as the older sibling, in some ways. Other ways Jacob was still a boy instead of a young man.

"Jo, don't cry…" He whispered to me. I sniffled and looked up at him, and he gave me a sympathetic smile. "Hey, big sis." He had cut his hair… and gotten a tattoo… and started working out. He was a wolf. I hardly recognized him.

"Hello, Joanna." I saw my father roll towards us and attempt to stand up out of his chair. I grabbed him, hugging him tightly, and helping him back into his chair. All the guilt I had for treating him so badly flooded my brain.

"Oh, Daddy… I'm so sorry." I whimpered. I felt him squeeze my hand as I looked up at him, sitting in the mud again. He gave me a weak smile and a small nod. I knew he forgave me as a father, but I also knew he still hurt. The death of my mother had broken both of us. Jacob was too small to really be broken by it. He was what helped our family move on.

"What matters is that you are here now. We have your room ready for you." I stood back up on my feet as he turned his chair around and headed into the house. He started up his ramp as I turned to Jacob. He already had the hatch open and was pulling out most of my bags. I came over and took my tote and computer bag out of the backseat, locking the car up.

"Why did you lock it?" Jake laughed and I realized I had been conditioned by the city. I used to never lock my car when I lived in Forks. There was no need. It only took me a week in Seattle before I learned the importance of always locking your car…

"Used to living in Seattle, I guess. You only leave your car unlocked once…"

"That's fair." He smiled, heading up the stairs of the porch. As we approached the screen door, I heard a pack of boys howling off in the distance. Jake's face dropped and he suddenly looked pissed off. I looked around, waiting to see who would emerge from the rainy dark trees. It was Paul, Embry, Jared and Quil.

"It's Joanna!" Paul yelled and suddenly I found myself being tackled to the ground by grown ass men. My 'brother's' more-or-less. I groaned, lying on the ground. Being in a family of mostly boys was sometimes hard for a girl. The contents of my tote bag were spread across the porch, starting to get wet. I scrambled out from under them and scooped the things back into my bag.

"Come on, guys." I huffed, standing back up. I brushed back my short hair and saw Leah standing at the bottom of the porch steps. "Leah!" I screamed, leaping off the stairs and into her arms. She greeted me with a big smile as we hugged tightly. It had been five months since I last saw her. She came to visit me in Seattle fairly often. It always felt like no time had passed between us, no matter how long it had been. We had been joined at the hip since we were little. She was what made taking on a bunch of brothers, bearable.

"I missed you so much." Leah whispered as we embraced each other a few seconds longer. When I pulled away, I could see the hurt in her eyes. I knew the death of her father caused her serious pain. Ever since the drama with Sam she hadn't been in the best head space. I knew she wanted out of Forks. She just didn't have enough of a reason to leave… Now that I was back she had less of a chance to leave.

"I'm sorry about your father." I quietly spoke, our foreheads pressed together. She took my hands into hers and gave them a soft squeeze. I knew it was a difficult subject for her. I saw an unfamiliar young man walk up towards the both of us, and I had no idea who he was. I looked at him puzzled.

"Hey, Joanna." His deep voice cracked and I thought my eyes would fall out of my head. There was no way. He was all grown now.

"Seth?!" I cried, grabbing him into my arms. I dramatically pulled him back and looked him up and down again. "You grew up!" I laughed in shock, he blushed. The last time I had seen him he was basically a little boy. Now, he was built like a young man.

"Finally joined the pack, too." My smile faded a bit. I looked at all of them. They all had tattoos on their biceps… even Leah. It made me feel uneasy. I couldn't become a wolf… I could never move back to the city. Once you turned it was hard to contain that inside you.

"Kids, inside!" My father yelled from inside the house. Jake walked inside with my bags, not saying a word to anyone as he left. I hugged Leah again and waved 'bye' to everyone before going inside. As I walked inside the old sights and smells hit me hard. It made me uneasy in a strange and nostalgic way… It made me miss my mother.

"Put your things down and come sit down for dinner." My father was moving around in the kitchen, putting food on plates. I walked into my room and saw everything was just as I had left it. My old loft bed remained untouched with the same blankets and sheets still set on them. I placed my bags on the floor and headed back into the kitchen. I sat down at the table where Jake was already sitting. We looked at each other for a moment.

"So… Anything new?" I awkwardly asked, not knowing what to say to them. Jake looked at Dad, then to his lap before looking back at me. I was wrong. Something had happened in town.

"The Cullen's left town."

"Oh, shit!" I busted out, a huge smile on my face. I thought the day would never come that the bloodsuckers left town. They caused a lot of problems for my family, especially in the last year. Charlie Swan's daughter had come back to town. Leah told me she was in love with Edward and Jacob was in love with her.

"Language!" My father shouted, banging his fist on the table. He didn't like swearing. I looked at him submissively and calmed down.

"I'm sorry. I forgot. Why the long face then Jacob?"

"I'm worried about Bella. She almost killed herself the night they left. We found her out in the woods, freezing to death."

"Isabelle Swan? Charlie's kid?" I hadn't thought about her in a long time. The last time I had heard about her was from Leah on the phone. She had filled me in six-months-ago, when Jacob was crazy for her.

"She's, uh- my girlfriend." Apparently he was still into her.

"Liar."

"Well, technically she's not. I can tell she feels something for me though. She just won't admit it to herself." I rolled my eyes. My brother was a bit dramatic. He hadn't always been the smoothest with the ladies either. In fact, most women found him kind of annoying. But we loved him anyway. The oven beeped and my father rolled over to take something out. He pulled out a big plate with massive steaks on them. I looked down at the food already on the table. There was sausage and beans and broccoli. I sat at the table, feeling overwhelmed and staring at the huge hunk of meat on a platter. He set it down in front of us then. Jacob was practically drooling.

"Dig in." As soon as he spoke both men dug into the piles of food. The sight made me feel nauseous. My father looked over, noticing that I hadn't grabbed anything yet. "Something wrong?" My father asked through a full-mouth of food.

"I'm not very hungry." I lied. I had been a vegetarian for the last seven years and I worried eating a huge slab of flesh would make me sick. I was militant about what food I would and would not put in my body. "May I be excused?"

"No, you may not. Are you feeling sick or something?" He asked and I shook my head 'no.' I was not about to tell anyone in my family I was a vegetarian. They would think that was the funniest joke in the world.

"Don't let it get cold then." He prompted me and I forced myself to pick up the serving utensils. I scooped on some beans and veggies, taking most of the veggies. I finished everything on my plate before stealing my brother's greens.

"Is there something wrong with the steak?" My father finally asked me as I finished my second helping of beans and vegetable. I sat back looking at both of them staring at me. I wiped my face with my napkin and sighed. I was fully prepared for the eruption of laughter.

"I'm a vegetarian." They were both quiet, processing my words. Suddenly, massive grins spread across their faces. I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"It's not supposed to be funny." I retorted as they both lost it laughing. I sat there, letting their childish laughter bounce off my tough exterior. They were actually the minority group of people who still ate meat in this state. Of course, I was out in the sticks now. Suddenly, making me the outsider. I wouldn't last here long if I continued to pretend that I was in Seattle.

"You're going to starve to death out here, Joanna. You better eat some meat, girl."

"If you won't eat it, I will." Jake mumbled out through a mouth full of food. I watched in disgust as he sawed into the second piece of meat and began cramming it into his mouth. I suddenly felt my vegetables try to make an exit and I knew I was going to puke. I threw my chair back and sprinted to the bathroom, throwing my tiny meal up in the toilet. I knelt over the bowl, my knees throbbing on top of the tile floor. As I leaned back and looked at the walls, I noticed something strange. My father had taken down everything that reminded him of our mother. Every little flower, rug, and ornament was gone from the wall. The pale spots on the wall being the only thing left behind. It was like living in a haunted house. I heard my father come in and I looked at him, wiping my face with a wash rag.

"Are you alright?" He looked at me concerned. I glared at him, saying nothing. I just sat there for a moment and felt my emotions flood through me. I knew coming home wouldn't be easy. I looked up to the blank walls for a moment, turning his attention too. I looked back at him and he made eye contact with me, confused.

"Where are all of her things?"

"We're going to renovate."

"Don't lie to me, Dad! You would never renovate!" I snapped as I got up and tried to walk past him. I felt his arm wrap around my wrist and pull me back. It made me angry.

"Don't come in here and act like you own the place. Especially, after you ran away with your tail in between your legs!" His words enraged me and I felt trapped in this house again. I couldn't stand him and his rules. Without my mother to balance him out, we hardly ever got along.

"I wasn't running! I hate it here! I hate this tiny house. Everything looks exactly the fucking same!"

"Language! Your mother helped build this house, Joanna!"

"So, what? You'll keep the house she wanted, but you'll take down everything that reminds you of her?" I yanked from his grasp, storming to my bedroom and slamming the door behind me. I felt like I was 16 again. I crawled up the ladder of my bed, throwing myself down into my pillows and beginning to cry. Not even a moment later there was a knock at my door.

"Go away!" I shouted, lifting my head from the fluffy bedding. Jacob was standing inside the room, looking up at me. I let out a heavy sigh and wiped my face. He looked just as emotionally exhausted as I did.

"He's trying his best, you know? It hurt him more when you left. It hurt all of us."

"I didn't mean to…"

"I get it, you wanted out. Me too. Sam controls my life now, and I hate it." He mumbled. I looked at him puzzled. I thought he loved Forks? "Seth and Leah already turned…" I felt uneasy. Part of the reason I had left Forks was so that I didn't become a wolf. It scared the shit out of me.

"Do you think it will happen to me?" I nervously asked, taking a shaky breath in. I ran the risk higher than ever before, coming back here. I knew wolf blood was strong in my line of the family. I was still prime age in transforming. Jacob shrugged. I stared at him waiting for an answer still.

"It's possible…" He knew something he wasn't letting on. I stared at him waiting for the pressure to make him crack. He fidgeted.

"What is it, Jacob?"

"There have been a few vampires coming in and out of the area, frequently. This red headed woman and a dude with dreads… Even if it does happen, I'm here for you. I'm your brother, Jo." He turned off the overhead light of my room and plugged in my string lights below the bed. I leaned over my bed and kissed the top of his head as he walked out. I lied back down on my bed as he shut the door. I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. They had even left the little glow-in-the-dark plastic stars on my ceiling.

The call of a lone wolf, outside, turned my attention to out my window. I stared out at the dark landscape, lightning flashing over the ground. I thought then, that I saw the figure of a wolf run across the landscape. I shut my eyes and pretended like my mind was playing tricks on me. Tomorrow would be a new day.