A reviewer told me that I have a lot talking in this fanfic and that the fuehrer is Pride. I decided not to cut down on the talking scenes because that would make it harder for me to write the story and it might cause me to ruin the story. But if other people say there is too much talking I might. I know the fuehrer is Pride and I will mention something like a compromise between them. Here's chap. 5.
Chapter 5
A Reviewer
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Ed stared for the third time at his ridiculously long list of names.
"Brother I've been thinking again…" Al started to say
"You're not hiding another cat are you?" Ed asked
"No."
"Good."
"A reviewer called you an elf"
"WHAT! Who?"
"Kaori-chan92"
"…"
"Are thinking about how you should get you're revenge?"
"Yes."
"Why not wait and do someone else?"
"I
need to get revenge now or else…"
"You'll forget?"
"I'd never forget something like that. I meant the author might forget."
(Me: I wouldn't forget!)
"Yes you would. But anyways the author says we have to do it so we have to."
(Me: You don't have to but you should so that way I really don't forget that she said that…)
"See Al"
"Ok…"
"I have an idea on how to get my revenge."
"What is it?"
"Kaori-chan92 can't read this story ever again!"
"How will you do that?"
"I don't know… wait I do know! I hate you Kaori-chan92 and so does Al and everybody else!"
"I
don't hate Kaori-chan92…"
"Yes you do!"
"Um… ok" Al then whispered so Ed couldn't here and only the people reading this could "No I don't"
"Al did you whisper something?"
"No."
"You're lying to me!"
"I'm not…"
"You are."
"Also that's not a good way to get revenge."
"Yes it is. If someone is a fan of ours than they'll hate it if we hate them."
"How do you know?"
"I don't. I just think it would. I hate you Kaori-chan92!"
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So there's chapter 5. I'll mention the deal Ed makes with Pride next chapter before more people are saying that the Fuehrer is Pride (which I knew already so don't think I just didn't know that).
Ed: Kaori-chan92 I don't really hate you.
Al: Alexander didn't get to appear.
Kaori-chan92 I hope you don't mind that you are in the fanfic. If you do please let me know then I can take out the chapter or something.
