And this makes a dozen chapters.

I have to confess, I'm neither a Cupcake nor a Babe, I'm torn like Stephanie, I want it all!

Your feedback keeps me going, and I thank you very much!

Spoilers: None. It's its own universe, I blame it all on the gin

Rating: PG13 for language, adult situations and whatnot

Disclaimer: I made the whole thing up, I own none of JE's characters, and I'll probably give them back good as new

Out of my Mind

Chapter 12

I was still trying to sort through the various voices in my head when Joe's hand started wandering from my shoulder down my arm.

"You know what I'd really like to do right now?" He asked.

"Hmm?"

"Id like to find some ways to take your mind off of all this, and I bet I'd be good at it."

No doubt in my mind he would be.

When I looked up at him, he was smiling and lowered his mouth to mine.

The kiss was sweet, but short, just long enough to wake up every nerve ending in me.

"But I can't." He said on a sigh "I'm working today."

But he didn't release me, instead his left hand had gone from my arm to my side and he was drawing lazy circles with his finger.

"You could be late." I decided, pulling his face towards me once more.

He responded to my kiss, and just like that, the kiss was the only thing I could think about. Lots of tongue, heat welling in the right places.
I let my hand slide down from his face over his chest down to his abdomen and bunched his shirt in my fist to pull it out of his pants.

His hand grabbed mine, gently but firm.

"I already am late." He said softly. "I just came by to check on you, but you were in the shower, and…"

He kissed me on the head and stood up.

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

I couldn't quite hide my disappointment.

"My mind is not off the subject yet…" I tried.

He smiled at that and shook is head slightly.

"I know, and I promise I'll try again later on, OK? I really have to work."

And with that, he bent down, kissed my forehead and stroked my cheek. "I'll be back!"

I grimaced. That was one of my lines, I could do the Schwarzenegger accent and all.

The door closed behind him and I let out the air in a big whoosh.

That was the second time he had done this to me, and I started to see a pattern. I wanted to accept that he had his responsibilities, but I couldn't help feeling rejected.

For lack of anything better, I turned to a candy bar from my bag of goodies for comfort.

Breakfast and pick-me-up rolled into one.

I wanted to think about my crappy situation some more and maybe come up with solutions, but my sugar-high mind just didn't seem in the mood.

It all seemed kind of senseless anyway, what were my options one way or the other? Better to save the thinking for another day.

I emptied my coffee, gathered up the trash and put it away, and then I plopped down on the bed on my stomach and remoted the TV on.

Now that I was fully awake, the bedspread felt kind of scratchy under my bare arms, but I didn't want to crawl under it fully clothed. So I stripped down to my underwear, pulled back the covers and resumed watching TV.

I must have dozed off because the last thing I remembered was some daytime talk show, and then there was this vibrating buzz again.

The cell phone, making the nightstand and everything on it hum.

Excitement rushed through me at the thought of the caller. After all, only one person had the number.

"Make up your mind yet?" Ranger asked, by way of greeting.

I rolled my eyes.

"About my color scheme? Yeah, I figure I'm more of a spring than a summer really, so I need to overhaul my wardrobe."

Silence from the other end. Hey, I thought it was pretty funny!

Sandra humor.

"Get decent, I'll be there in 5." And he disconnected.

"Oh, OK, see you then, bye!" I said to the dead line as I glared at the phone in my hand. That was proper phone etiquette where I came from.

I turned the TV off and was just about to get up to get my clothes on when hell broke loose.

It was one of those moments that happen really quickly, but at the same time seem to go in slow-motion, like an action scene in the Matrix.

Glass shattered and sprayed out into the room, and I instinctively covered my face with my arms.

I thought I saw something fly through the window, and the next thing I heard was a 'crash' from something heavy landing and then a 'phoumph'.

Whatever had smashed the window had shattered upon impact and caught fire, flames were spreading across the carpet and began to lick up the curtains.

Panic rose up from my stomach, I jumped up on the bed, but then I was paralyzed as I stared at the spreading flames.

I was thinking 'Run! Hide! Do something!', but my body wouldn't oblige.

Still standing on my bed, my brain finally processed what my eyes were transmitting: the fire was quickly filling up the front part of the room, and blocking the exit.

It had not yet spread to the bed, but it was quickly getting there and I had only one way to go.

I finally gained control of my body and scrambled off the bed, but my foot caught in the sheet and I fell hard on the floor, chin first.

My first thought was that I had knocked out all my teeth as I tasted copper and stars were dancing in front of me. I wiped my mouth and my hand came away bloody, but when I ran my tongue over my teethe they all seemed to be in place.

Then my breath caught in my throat and I started coughing; I had inhaled a lungful of smoke.

That brought me to my feet again and I made for the bathroom as fast as I could while almost doubling over with coughing fits.

I slammed the door shut and bent over, inhaling nonsmoky air.

Tears were streaming down my face from the strain of coughing, I was sweating from every pore and shaking uncontrollably.

I tried to keep the panic under lid to prevent fear from taking over, crying and screaming would not get me out of here.

There was a loud bang from the bedroom and smoke was starting to curl under the door.

"The window!" I cried out, yanking the shower curtain from its hoops in an effort to get to the window behind the tub.

Whenever I had taken a shower, I had noticed the window, but more in a subconscious way. It was there, but I didn't look at it.

Now, it was the only way out, and I blindly shoved it open.

It opened easily enough, but my room was on the ground floor, and white metal bars were running vertically from top to bottom of the window every 5 inches or so. Behind them lay safety in the form of a macadam parking lot.

I sobbed as I grabbed two bars and yanked. They wouldn't budge. I started shaking them, screaming, crying, panicking. I yelled 'Help' at the top of my lungs whenever I could think straight between mindless screams.

I don't know how long I stood there, yanking and screaming as the room filled with smoke and not enough air was coming in through the open window.

I barley registered a metallic 'clang'; I was in sensory overload from the inferno sounds around me and the panic in me.

Then the bars fell back and dragged me halfway out the window, through a spray of falling concrete pebbles, as I was still holding on to them.

Strong arms grabbed me moments later and lifted me effortlessly all the way out, I thought I heard sirens wailing in the distance, and I collapsed against a broad chest, embraced by the arms that had lifted me to safety.

My eyes were still closed as I was lifted off the ground and carried, while I struggled to stay awake against the overwhelming desire to just fall asleep.

"Stay with me.", a voice pleaded close to my ear, and I was put onto firm ground once more.

I forced my eyes open and looked straight at Ranger, inches from my face, holding me upright in the open cargo space of his SUV.

"Are you OK?" He asked, his eyes taking in my appearance.

I may have nodded, but I wasn't sure, I was numb with gratitude and the realization that I wasn't going to die.

Ranger produced a blanket and wrapped it around me, his hands holding it in place.

The sirens grew closer and before long, a fire truck was blocking my view of the motel. Firemen were bustling about, there was yelling and people started appearing to get a good look at the spectacle.

Probably, the same scene was playing out in the front.

I was watching it all from a distance, as if staring at a screen.

"Let's get the formalities over with and get you cleaned up." Ranger said, his voice drifting through to me as if he was far away.

"Lin?" He tried again.

Police cars had arrived and a uniformed cop was making his way over to us.

Ranger shook me gently until I lifted my eyes up to him.

"Yeah." I said, not sure if I was agreeing to his suggestion or assuring him I was OK.

The cop took my name and my version of what happened down, and I didn't know how I was holding on to my make-believe persona when I told him my details. It later occurred to me that he had asked simple questions that required one-word answers; he must have had some experience with traumatized witnesses.

Ranger never left my side, but his expression was unreadable.

When I was asked if I had any ideas who may have started the fire, I shook my head no, and that was the truth. I may have had a suspicion, but I couldn't back it up and I had never seen anyone.

The cop closed his notepad, thanked me and asked how he could get in touch with me for any follow-up questions.

I opened my mouth to give him my number when it hit me: Everything I had was gone. My purse, my wallet, my cell phone; it had all been in my room, along with all the clothes I had bought, except for the black cotton camisole and bikini panties I was wearing.

Ranger pulled a business card out of his pocket and handed it over.

"Call this number if you need to talk to her."

The officer seemed satisfied with this information and excused us with a nod. "We'll be in touch." He said and left.

I slumped against Ranger and he held me.

The adrenaline my body had been producing in overload was slowly starting to ebb off, and it left nothing but exhaustion behind.

Black smoke was still billowing skywards and hoses were pumping arcs of water at the building when Ranger lifted me to my feet and led me around the car to the passenger side. I felt like a marionette, not sure if my legs would support me should Ranger let go.

I didn't need to worry, he placed me in the passenger seat like a baby and buckled me in.

My eyelids were growing heavy by the time he was settled next to me and cranked the engine over, and I don't remember anything after the second turn when the noise from the fire engines and voices subsided and the only sound was the hum of the car.

I woke up when Ranger's hair brushed against my forehead; he had one arm under my knees and the other under my armpit as he was lifting me out of the car.

We were in the garage of the Rangeman building.

I wanted to say that I felt OK to walk by myself, but talking seemed too much of an effort right then and being in his arms gave me a sense of safety that I couldn't remember ever feeling before.

Ranger carried me into the elevator, and much later, I would wonder how he had opened the door or pressed the buttons with me in his arms, but right then, my mind was blank.

When the elevator doors opened, a woman dressed in scrubs was awaiting us and Ranger followed her down a corridor with bare gray walls, matching tile floor and numerous doors on both sides.

We went through a door and Ranger placed me on a cod.

He brushed my hair from my forehead and smiled at me.

"You'll be OK."

"Thank you." I croaked, my voice hoarse from smoke and screaming. His eyes lingered on me for a moment longer and then he straightened.

I saw him talk to the woman briefly and he was gone.

"Hi, I'm Nick." The woman said as she was snapping on surgical gloves. She had friendly brown eyes and a professional smile. Her black hair was tied to a knot in the back and she wasn't wearing any make-up or jewelry.

"I'm the resident nurse here and I'll be taking care of you."

I nodded.

She parted the blanket and studied me.

"Any pain? Where does it hurt?" she asked.

"I think I'm OK." I pressed out, I couldn't feel any acute pain beyond the overall ache. My entire body felt sore, but no part stood out.

Nick nodded at that but didn't look convinced. She turned her attention to the cart next to the cod and armed herself with some gauze and a small bottle.

"This may sting a little." She cautioned as she dabbed the drenched gauze over my upper lip and nose.

She repeated this procedure up and down my body, and I realized I was covered in scratches and sores that looked like rug burn.

I tried to go to my 'happy place', but the sandy beach picture just wouldn't fine-tune before my inner eye. Instead, the day's events started replaying, as if I was watching a video of it.

The feeling that 'Soon' had arrived started nagging me. I had received the note about a day ago and had come pretty close to being as dead as Moreno.

'But you aren't dead. Get a grip!' a reasoning inner voice spoke up.

While this was true, I didn't know how well I would have fared without Ranger's help.

Timing had definitely been on my side that time.

Nick finished disinfecting my wounds and gave me another once-over.

"Do you feel up to taking a shower? I can dress the deeper scratches afterwards, if you like."

She said, as she helped me into a sitting position.

I felt sweaty and grimy, but part of me wanted to forego a shower and head straight to bed.

"If you prefer, I can wash you here." Nick suggested.

God no! If I was to get clean, it would be at my own hands. Or possibly Ranger's, but a sponge bath by a female nurse was definitely not appealing.

"I'll shower, I'm fine." I pressed out, testing my legs' ability to hold my weight.

I stood up slowly and let Nick wrap the blanket around me for the short walk across the corridor to the shower.

It was a dorm-style washroom with sinks lined up at one wall, a couple of stalls at the other, and an arch into a room containing a line of showers with privacy partitions between them.

On the shelf across from the showers, someone had piled up towels, a basket of toiletries and a stack of black clothes.

Nick left me after I had assured her I would be okay on my own.

I peeled off my underwear, grabbed soap and shampoo from the basket and stepped under the shower, adjusting the water from scorching hot to ice cold and eventually to lukewarm.

It took a while to get clean and I winced every time I got soap into an open wound.

When my hair was washed and rinsed and my skin was all pink and non-sooty, I sat down on the floor and let the water rain down on me.

The room was all fogged up when I finally turned off the water and grabbed a towel.

When I was somewhat dry, I inspected the pile of clothes.

Socks, pants, a t-shirt and a bra and panties were neatly folded, everything was black and looked brand new.

The pants were a size too big and the bra struggled to keep my c-cups restrained, but I was fully clothed once again.

I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair by way of styling, I didn't want to see myself in the mirror just yet.

Ranger was leaning against the wall opposite the washroom door when I stepped out.

His arms were crossed over his chest as he pushed himself off the wall and walked over to me.

We were now dressed alike, black on black, except I was missing combat boots and weaponry fit for a military coup.

"Feel better?" He asked, and I thought I heard genuine concern in his voice, so I attempted a smile as I answered.

"Much. Is there food?" Now that I had had time to calm down, I was starving.

Ranger laughed, relieved maybe, and he took my elbow.

"Let's have Nick look you over one more time now that she can actually see you, then we'll eat."

I got an uneasy feeling out of nowhere.

"And talk?"

"That too." He confirmed. I knew he wouldn't let me off the hook that easily.

I really did feel much better after the shower, and Nick only plastered some tape on the larger cuts and put ointment on others, nothing needed stitching or bandaging.

For as long as I can remember, I have been getting scratches, cuts and bruises with the best of them, but I had never been seriously injured, I have never had a broken bone. Apparently, I was continuing the tradition.

Ranger waited for Nick's OK before he helped me up and led me out of the room towards the elevator, as if he expected me to go all brave and refuse treatment, when I felt more like a damsel in distress than anything.

"What time is it?" I interrupted the silence as we stepped into the elevator and Ranger waved his key fob in front of a sensor.

"Almost five." He relayed and pressed the 7 button.

My heart sped up. The Bat Cave! It had to be, Ranger had to 'unlock' it before he pressed the button.

In spite of my overall weariness, excitement rushed trough me.

I was tired and battered but I wasn't dead! The thought of me and Ranger in his inner sanctum had me wide-awake.

Sure enough, as the doors opened, we were facing a small, well-lit anteroom with a single door directly in front of us.

Ranger did his security pad thing, keyed the door open and held it for me for me.

I stepped into the foyer and wasn't surprised to find a sideboard to my right with a vase of flowers and a small tray on it.

Ranger turned the light on with a switch on his right and placed his keys in the tray. Then he took his utility belt off and put it next to the tray.

He put a hand in the small of my back and nudged me forward.

Yup, it all seemed familiar. Not exactly as I had imagined it, but just the way it had been described in the books. Beyond the foyer was the living room and the kitchen was on the right.

By now I had come to expect this, strangely enough. I didn't know when I had stopped having 'Holy Shit!' moments at every similarity, but I would have been shocked to find myself in an all-black, all-bed bachelor pad instead of Ranger's apartment on the seventh floor of his office building.

The dining table was set for two, covered bowls and another vase with flowers stood between two plates, silverware and glasses.

"Would you like a drink before dinner?" Ranger's voice made me jump, I didn't know he was so close behind me.

He put a protecting arm around my waist, as if he was afraid I was going to faint from fright, and I felt it was worth the initial shock for the reward his arm provided.

"Again, can I offer you a drink?" He asked softly, his voice close to my ear.

I cleared my throat and took a step forward.

"Gin and tonic?" A drink sounded great!

The corners of his mouth quirked up slightly.

"Beer or Bourbon?"

"Bourbon." I decided "And beer with dinner."

This earned me a real smile.

He turned his back to me while he was getting a bottle and glasses out of a kitchen cabinet, and I was mesmerized by the movement of his muscles under his tight shirt.

An few hours ago, I would have laughed at the idea of ever feeling anything besides confusion or fear. Now the fire, my lost possessions and my achy body were becoming a distant memory.

I marveled at the air of safety and protection that seemed to emanate from Ranger, surrounding me.

Now I was going to have a drink on a nearly empty stomach and I that suddenly didn't seem like a good idea anymore, his arm on me had felt much too comfortable.

Ranger returned with our drinks and motioned towards the dining table.

We sat down and I took a sip from my glass. Then I coughed. I never drank whisky straight and I had taken a sip like I was drinking soda.

Ranger tapped my back, not quite able to mask his grin.

"You all right?"

"Sorry." I murmured, clearing my throat one more time. I could feel the liquid pool in my stomach and spreading its warmth. Good stuff.

Ranger got up and returned moments later with water, filling up the large empty glasses on the table and I drank half of mine until I felt the scratching in my throat subside.

He uncovered the bowls and spooned food onto my plate before helping himself to some.

I looked at my plate; green beans and chicken breast and roasted onions.

My stomach rumbled as the smell wafted up to my nostrils, and I could see Ranger smile again out of the corner of my eye, so I dug in.

The food was delicious, I barely resisted licking my plate when I was done.

We ate in silence, but I could feel Ranger's eyes on me from time to time. Since I couldn't come up with anything to say, I kept my head down and focused on eating.

After dinner, Ranger gathered up the plates and carried them to the sink. I was half-expecting him to return with dessert.

Instead, he brought the whisky bottle back with him, refilled our glasses and took his with him into the living room.

That probably meant we were going to move on to the talking part I was trying to avoid.

I took a sip of the burning booze for courage and followed him.

Ranger sat on a black leather couch, one leg angled off the floor in a relaxed position.

There was a small glass end table next to him in the corner and an identical leather couch next to it creating an L shape, a glass coffee table completed the sitting area.

I hesitated for a moment and then took a seat on the second couch rather than next to Ranger.

What I really wanted was to sit on his lap, but I was too afraid at where I might take it from there. Ranger fascinated me as much as he intimidated me, and I found that mixture more and more irresistible.

"Is what you told the cops true?" He said without preamble.

I took a deep breath, more to force my mind away from Ranger thoughts than to think of an answer.

"For the most part." I said on a shrug.

Ranger raised an eyebrow and inclined his head almost imperceptibly rather than asking me to elaborate on my statement.

"I forgot to tell you something." I chewed on my lower lip in an effort to find the best way to tell him about the note and the photos. I didn't know why I hadn't told him the night before, it just hadn't come up.

He listened to my description of the photos without reaction.

"So, since the note said 'Soon', and the fire was this afternoon, I believe the person that sent the note set the fire."

"And?" Ranger took a sip of his bourbon.

"But since I don't know who sent the note, I didn't tell the cop about it."

"Where are the photos now?"

"With Morelli, at the crimes lab."

"So they didn't burn?"

"No, and there's something else…"

I told him about Jeremy Nagel and Jess' friend with the same name and how that could be a possible connection.

But when I said it out loud now it seemed less plausible than before.

Ranger let me finish without interrupting, his expression once again unreadable. Or maybe I just didn't know him well enough to get an impression from him.

I sat back and took another sip. I was starting to like Bourbon.

While I had used my hands to gesture along with my story and had crossed and uncrossed my legs several time since I had sat down, the only movement from Ranger was the up and down movement when he led his glass to his lips. He was the picture of calm while I was fidgeting nervously, my earlier tiredness forgotten.

"What do you think?" I finally asked, unable to stand the silence any longer.

"I think you should stay here for the night."

"Yes, but…"

"We'll talk about it in the morning."

"I thought we were talking about it now." I argued, confused.

And what did he mean, 'stay here'? Here, here? In the Bat Cave? With him?

"I need to check some things, talk to some sources. I'll have more information tomorrow." He said, getting up.

"I have a room ready for you downstairs. You need to get some rest. Come on, I'll show you."

Oh. Downstairs. In the troops slash guest quarters. That made sense, what had I been thinking? That Ranger would insist on guarding my body by not letting it out of his reach? It was time to get real.

My emotions were probably just rattled from the excitement earlier, I was imagining sparkage and attraction were none existed. Or at least weren't reciprocated.

And probably, I had read Joe just as wrongly. I wasn't Stephanie Plum; hot men weren't lining up to risk their life for me just to gain my affection.

I had become part of Ranger's job and he was performing it.

I got up with a sigh.

"Do I get to take the bottle?"

"No."