Here's the 14th chapter. I hope you're still with me. It's finally time to get a touch of her 'real' world!
Thank you so much for your feedback, I really appreciate it.
Spoilers: None. It's its own universe, I blame it all on the gin
Rating: PG13 for language, adult situations and whatnot
Disclaimer: I made the whole thing up, I own none of JE's characters, and I'll probably give them back good as new
Out of my Mind Chapter 14
We drove the rest of the way in silence. Ranger presumably in his zone and me alternating between utter confusion and trying not to stare at Ranger's muscle movements every time he shifted.
Rush hour was in full swing and traffic was heavy. So there was a lot of gear shifting.
I didn't mind the silence, I had too much on my mind.
The whole Senor mess had the potential of making sense, but I didn't know why Ranger had gotten involved and why he was helping me. I appreciated it immensely, since it allowed me to be with him and probably kept me alive, but I was dying to find out if his interests were purely business or if there was maybe a part of him that cared about me.
Of course I could always just ask him. Right after I'd ask how he'd known my bra size, probably.
When he had parked the car in RangeMan's underground garage and had turned the engine off, Ranger turned to me. I looked up from the plastic shopping bag I had been playing with.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
I swallowed. No easy way to answer that one. I thought I was a couple of county lines over from okay, on more than one level.
But I just nodded and got out of the car.
Ranger followed me and pressed the 4 button when we got into the elevator. OK by me, if I was to go back to my quarters, I needed some alone time anyway.
I walked a step ahead of Ranger with my head lowered. I couldn't remember a time when I had been this quiet for so long.
I reached for the doorknob on the apartment, and Ranger put a halting hand on my shoulder, turning me around.
"You'll be okay." He said softly, his hand tucking back my hair behind my ear and his thumb grazing my cheekbone, his eyes locked on mine.
It caught me off guard. The stoic Ranger I could learn to handle, the caring Ranger brought down my defenses.
Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over, down my cheeks.
I didn't even know why I was crying, probably I just felt sorry for myself.
Ranger gathered me up in his arms and held me.
He was warm, and he smelled so good.
I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face against his chest. I still had no control over my tears, they were in free flow.
He put his chin on my head and stroked my hair.
I didn't know how long we were just standing there, outside the closed apartment door. Neither of us saying anything.
After a final deep breath, I pushed myself away and fished a box of tissues out of the bag.
"I'm sorry." I apologized, blowing my nose.
"It's OK." He said. "I meant what I said, you'll be fine. I promise."
I looked up to find him smiling at me. His hand wiped away the last of the tears on my face.
"Take a time-out, I'll be back when I'll find something."
And he reached around me to open the unlocked door, pulled me around by my waist and pushed me inside.
I heard the door close behind me, and then I was alone.
Great. I was in Ranger's arms and all I could do was cry. He probably thought I was a helpless kitten in need of his protection.
I let out a sigh and collapsed onto the loveseat.
Although I had craved alone time, I realized what I really needed was time at home, my home. This apartment wasn't home, and there weren't any books or movies to distract me. There was no Riley to pet.
That reminded me…
I rushed into the bathroom, did the best I could with my make-up and hair, given my red-cried eyes, and left the studio for the fifth floor.
I took the stairs one flight up and four heads turned when I opened the fire door from the staircase: Two big guys in front of the monitors, Cal at a desk and Ranger, standing in the middle of the control room.
I felt the heat rushing to my face, I was probably beet-red.
"I…I need to use a computer." I said, but it had sounded more like I was looking for the ladies' room.
'Relax!' I tried to tell myself.
Cal looked at Ranger and turned towards me.
"Over here." He waved towards a wall of cubicles.
The novelty had worn off, the two guys turned back to face the monitors.
Cal motioned for me to take a seat in one of the cubicles and turned on the computer on the desk. He typed in a password and the desktop appeared.
"Do you need help?" He asked. Yes, in more ways than he could ever imagine.
"No, I think I'm OK, thank you." I managed as I opened up a browser.
Cal disappeared from my side.
I looked up Jess' number and wrote it down on a piece of paper.
There was a multiline phone on the desk next to the monitor, and I picked up the receiver.
It felt silly, but I didn't want to appear as if I took Ranger for granted.
"Is it OK if I make a phone call?" I asked, turning around.
I didn't know whom I had expected to answer, but Ranger stepped into my line of vision from behind the cubicle partition.
"Of course." He said, "Dial 9 to get out."
He glanced at my screen. Yahoo white pages probably didn't look interesting enough to warrant any questions, and he turned away.
I called Jess and got her answering machine. Of course, I realized. It was 10 AM on a weekday morning, Jess was at work. I left a message, apologizing for the long radio silence, telling her I was okay and would call her soon. Since I didn't know a number to leave, I left it at that and hung up.
Then I sent her an email for good measure, pretty much repeating what I had said on the phone. There was no way I could explain what had happened in the last few days, but the next time I'd see her, I would tell her everything from the beginning.
I also sent an email to my cat sitter Sean, telling him I'd be away a little longer than planned and could he please feed Riley.
It was Wednesday, and my boss didn't expect me back for another week and a half, so there was no need to contact him.
I managed to flinch only slightly when Ranger spoke up.
"Since you're here, do you want to run a few searches?"
He was standing directly behind me, I hadn't heard him approach.
"Sure." I agreed. How hard could this be? Couldn't be much different from googling fan sites.
"Ed suggested we check out a few people in addition to the regulars."
He placed a couple of file folders on the desk.
"Have you used MagGen before?"
Not only had I never used it, I had never even heard of it.
"The search engine?" I guessed, hoping I didn't sound too ignorant. "No."
Ranger pulled up a second chair and sat down next to me.
This was going to be tricky.
In the car, there was some space between us. In front of a monitor, it was hard not to touch or brush against each other.
I forced my eyes to the screen and my mind away from Ranger as he took over the mouse and opened a program.
He went over a few basics and I realized I hadn't been that far off: it was a template that you filled out with what you knew and the search engine would do the rest. This I could do.
I picked up the first folder and typed in the details.
Ranger had apparently decided to find out if I had gotten the hang of it, he stayed put.
I mistyped a couple of times because I was so nervous, and I was beginning to sweat. If he didn't leave soon I was going to lose what was left of my cool.
"What am I looking for?" I asked as I stared at the information on the screen.
Ranger leaned closer to point at a few keywords and I sucked in some air.
"You okay?" He asked, his eyes on me.
We were knee-to-knee, and now his shoulder was touching mine.
"I'm hot." I admitted, not knowing what else to say.
He smiled. It was probably 60 degrees in the control room and only I felt like it was 90.
"I have that effect on some people." He said, and my eyes grew wide. I was so busted.
He returned his eyes to the screen.
"Print out the first few pages, mark things like addresses, phone numbers, frequent hang-outs. Let me know when you're done."
And he got up and left.
I slumped in my chair. What the hell was wrong with me? 'I'm hot'? I had sounded like a schoolgirl! The time when he was helping to possibly save my life was not the time to get hot and bothered by his presence! He probably thought I was a complete idiot.
I thunked my head on the desk and closed my eyes, hoping to get a grip.
I counted to 10 and took a few deep breaths, and then I concentrated on the search again, hoping my little outburst had gone unnoticed.
It took about an hour to get all the necessary information. I printed it out on the little desktop printer and went over it with the highlighter I had found in one of the drawers.
All three guys had led similar lives. All of them were the complete opposite of what I was used to: They weren't married. They didn't own houses. They didn't spend their Saturdays picking up dry cleaning and washing their cars.
They had all been arrested more times than I cared to count; sometimes they had been convicted and had spent time in prison.
All of them were suspected to work for Najar, the Senor.
I signed off and picked up the printouts, looking for Ranger.
'This is what you've come to.' I berated myself 'You can't do one thing without turning to Ranger for help! Go home! You're in over your head. Give up!'
I felt like slapping myself to snap out of it. What I needed to find was encouragement, not the ass kicking my mind doled out.
Ranger was sitting behind a desk in the corner, working on a computer.
I squared my shoulders and walked over, putting my findings in front of him.
He picked up the pages and scanned over them.
"Fast work." He said and my heart sped up. Stupid heart!
"With these three we have a total of seven cages to rattle. You up for it?"
Given that I had never rattled any cages, the answer was probably no.
"Let's go." I said instead.
Ranger pointed towards a box on one of the desks in front of the monitors.
"There's equipment for you to get you outfitted. I'll be done here in a few minutes."
He put the printouts on his desk and turned back to his monitor.
I felt a little like saluting or saying something like 'Aye, aye', and I was glad I bit my tongue and turned towards the box before I did any of those things.
10 minutes later, we rolled out of the garage in the Porsche. I loved the Porsche. And I loved riding in the Porsche next to Ranger. I only wished we were on our way to a romantic evening together and not off to 'rattle some cages'.
I shifted in my seat trying to get comfortable. There were a lot of clip-ons on my belt. The cell phone was poking me from the left, a gun was bugging me on my right, and a stun gun and maglite were doing their best vibrator impression in the front. How did people do this on a regular basis? If it were me, I'd carry all that stuff in a purse. Unfortunately, there hadn't been a purse in the box, only things to clip on one's belt. Fortunately, I had only whined to myself about it.
Ranger had handed me the files in the order we were going to work them, and I read the first address out loud.
"I know where it is, right off Stark Street." Ranger said as he turned a corner.
Right, Stark Street. The location I had really been looking forward to exploring. Not.
'You're with Ranger.' I reminded myself 'You'd be safe walking into a guerilla war with him.'
And then there was the reminder to chill already, but I ignored it.
We spent all afternoon tracking down the seven guys. Two weren't at any of the addresses on the search, two said they had no idea what we were talking about and told us to go to hell (even with Ranger's persuasion techniques that made me slightly nauseous), and of the three guys I had looked up, only one had turned out to know anything at all, the others were too far down the ladder. Even the one guy important enough to be on the in, Julio Maradona, hadn't been helpful though, informing us that he didn't deal in petty stuff like car crashes and arson.
Ranger had done all the talking, and I had just looked on, trying to appear professional. I had a gun, dammit!
When we got back into the car after leaving Maradona, Ranger made some notes on all of the files and looked at me.
"I think that went well." He said and winked at me.
I didn't feel like we had learned anything, but I didn't know if I had just missed it or if Ranger was being sarcastic.
"Uh-huh." I replied neutrally, trying to get the maglite away from my pubic bone and pretending hot men winked at me all the time, especially when I was sitting next to them in their Porsche.
"Let's discuss this over food." Ranger suggested as he took his utility belt off and started the car.
I still wasn't very hungry after my mega-breakfast, but I wasn't going to pass on a chance for dinner with Ranger.
I took his lead and removed all the paraphernalia from my belt, unable to hide a relieved smile when it was all in the back.
"Comfy?" Ranger asked with a full-on smile. I hadn't noticed he had been watching me the whole time. I blushed and nodded and put my seatbelt on for distraction, staring straight ahead.
Ranger chuckled and finally put the car in gear. Now I was sure I amused him.
A few minutes later, Ranger parked the car in an unlit alley and we got out.
We weren't in the worst part of town I had seen that afternoon, but nor far from it either. Some windows were boarded up and some graffiti decorated walls.
I felt uncomfortable and stayed close to Ranger. He moved with total confidence in every environment I had seen him in.
Ranger led us back onto a street and then into a small restaurant with no more than ten tables with candles on them and a bar tucked in a corner. Only two of the tables were occupied, both by couples who didn't look up when we entered.
Soft guitar music was playing in the background.
It didn't look Mexican, and definitely not Italian or American, beyond that, I couldn't guess.
"Carlos!" A short Latino man behind the bar exclaimed, and he made his way over to us.
He hugged Ranger and talked a lot of Spanish. Ranger introduced me, I think, and the man hugged me and kissed my cheek. He then led us to a table in the back corner and held out a chair for me.
They talked for another minute or two, the smile never leaving Ranger's mouth. He was more relaxed than I had thought was possible.
"That's Juan Esteban." Ranger explained when we were alone "It's his restaurant, and it has the best Cuban menu this side of Miami."
Juan reappeared moments later with menus, sliced bread and a bottle of wine. He filled our glasses and put the bottle and bread on the table, then he said something that sounded like any girl of Ranger's was a friend of his, but I wasn't sure since my Spanish is very limited and Ranger didn't translate. In any case, it sounded positive and I smiled.
"Do you really think we made some progress today?" I asked when Juan had left.
Ranger studied the menu and almost-nodded.
"I don't feel like we've learned anything." I admitted.
"It's not about that. We stepped on some toes, we made a nuisance of ourselves. Word is bound to get back to the Senor. And if we're lucky, we pissed him off enough to make another move."
Oh, OK. Clearly, I had a lot to learn, even if I was just pretending I knew about bounty huntering.
I asked Ranger to order for me since the menu was in Spanish and I didn't want to ask him every other word.
He told Juan what we wanted and had a sip of his wine. My glass was almost empty. I needed to compensate!
"Do you come here often?" I asked as I took a look around. The two couples were deep in conversation, holding hands and smiling.
"From time to time. Juan is like family."
"Juan thinks I'm your girl."
"You picked that up, huh?" Ranger raised an eyebrow.
"He got that impression because you're the first woman I've ever brought here."
I wasn't sure what to make of that information. Was I special enough to be brought here or had he wanted to come here anyway, with or without me? Ranger didn't look like he was going to elaborate on it.
I emptied my glass and waited for Ranger to refill it rather than looking like a lush, trying real hard not to fidget too much.
"What about your girlfriend?" Oh.My.God. Of all the things to say…
"What about her?" Ranger picked up the bottle and filled up our glasses.
"Don't you take her here?"
"I don't have a girlfriend."
My joy at hearing this didn't overpower the need for the ground to open up and swallow me, I was so embarrassed. I may not have been an expert at the art of flirting, but I did know a lame line when I heard it, and I was feeding Ranger lame lines every chance I got. First of all, there had been no need to ask, but if I did need confirmation one way or the other, I could have found a cleverer way.
A woman returned with our meals at that point, and I was grateful for the interruption.
I couldn't identify what was on my plate, but I downed my wine and dug in anyway.
Anything to avoid eye contact!
I was hoping Ranger would let it slide, but no such luck.
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
He seemed to really enjoy himself, I thought I saw a twinkle in his eye.
"Would you bring your boyfriend here?"
"Maybe." Not a lie, if I had one, I may have taken him here. Best to leave it at that.
"There's not a lot of information to be found about you, you could be married with four kids for all I know."
"You ran a check on me?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. He had probably typed my name into his search programs the day he I met him in Vinnie's office. Of course, whatever had come up had nothing to do with me, although it would be a kicker if there really was a bounty hunter by the name of Lindsay Taylor in Boston.
He smiled.
"Maybe."
I was confused. Again. If he had run a search, it must have raised a parade of red flags and he was more likely to pin me against a wall and question me than to wine and dine me at an intimate restaurant. The only other options were that he thought I was as good as he was and had erased all traces of me from public sources, or that he had figured out who I really was and enjoyed watching me dig myself deeper into the hole. If I had to guess, I'd pick door number 2. Only that didn't explain the date-like dinner either, so back to confusion.
The food was excellent. Spicy, but not burn-your-mouth hot; lots of cheese.
By the end of the meal, I had emptied four glasses of wine and Ranger had almost finished one.
I was not a heavy drinker, but I was OK with beer. Red wine was another story. It mostly made me do or say things I would regret later. But it had been the only drink on the table and I was desperate.
When the woman had cleared up the plates and Juan had brought us coffee, Ranger leaned back in his chair.
"Tomorrow, you move out."
I looked up. Was he really throwing me out on the street? And why after meeting part of his 'family', when he had had countless opportunities all day.
"While you're at RangeMan or with me, you're untouchable. But we need you out there, be visible. If we were successful today, we shouldn't have to wait too long for the next move."
I dug my fingernails into my palms to keep from screaming. I was so relieved. Ranger was still with the plan, and the plan was to lure out the bad guys.
And for a second there I had thought…best not to go there.
I nodded enthusiastically, not quite trusting my voice.
Whatever his reasons, Ranger was going to stick with me. And maybe I'd get another chance at convincing him I was not a complete idiot.
We got back to RangeMan a little after 8. The day had started so early and had involved so many emotions that I was exhausted.
Ranger walked me to the apartment.
"Thank you for dinner." I said. 'And for everything else' I should have added, but that would have sounded so cheesy.
He opened the door for me.
"You gonna be okay in here for tonight?"
If I said no, would I get to spend the night with him?
"I guess so…" I replied tentatively.
"I had Cal get you a laptop, so you don't have to ask for permission every time you need to use a computer."
"Thank you." My mind just didn't produce more words.
"I'll see you in the morning." He said, clearly ready to leave.
So I hugged him. What I really wanted to do was kiss him, but I hadn't had enough wine for that. Four glasses only gave me enough courage to hug.
Amazingly, Ranger hugged me right back and kissed my forehead.
I held on to him and smiled as I lifted my head to meet his eyes.
"Good night, Babe." He said as he released me, resting his hands on my shoulders for a beat.
