Shades of Grey
Chapter 15- Sorry-Grateful
Spot collapsed onto the ground, and reached immediately for Racetrack. He wasn't sure exactly when he'd grown so overprotective of Racetrack, but… the image of Racetrack lying on the floor, utterly broken… it had torn at his heart in a way he hadn't thought possible. All he knew was, he wasn't going to let anything ever hurt Racetrack like that again, and he would use all of his power to keep him happy.
"Race!" a familiar voice called, and Mush and Blink came running across the bridge. Mush knelt down beside the unconscious Racetrack, and Blink stood a respectable distance behind, watching in concern as Mush cradled Race's limp form in his arms.
Spot stood up, and tried not to let the shakiness he was feeling show. This trip through that portal, or whatever it was, had been far more devastating on his equilibrium than the first one.
A groan from behind him got his attention, and he turned slowly, so not to lose his balance, and saw Jack was struggling to get to his knees. Spot didn't even bother to lend him a hand, he just headed towards Racetrack, who was still unconscious.
"Move," he said sharply, and Mush stared at him.
"I said," Spot repeated sharply, "get out of my way."
Mush mutely passed Racetrack over to him, and Spot took Racetrack into his arms, cradling his lover gently, inhaling Racetrack's scent. Placing a gentle kiss on Race's forehead, Spot just concentrated on the feeling of having Racetrack back with him, not caring that the reputation that he had worked on for so many years had probably just been destroyed.
He could hear Blink asking Jack what was going on, but Spot just ignored them. He carefully stood up, still cradling Racetrack, who was showing no signs of waking.
"Spot," Jack called. "Where do you think you're taking him?"
"Brooklyn, asshole. Where do you think I'm going?" Spot looked vaguely annoyed at Jack. Racetrack needed to get into some shelter, and Jack was being stupid.
"We decided he'd come back to Manhattan. You know that."
Spot just ignored him. He did remember agreeing to that, but now that he had Racetrack back, he really didn't want to let him go again.
"Spot!" a familiar voice called, and Spot looked and saw one of his boys running towards him. Everything that Spot had worked for during his years as a newsie came rushing back towards him, and Spot briefly felt the need to try to reclaim some of his masculinity. To get back some of what he had worked for, for so long.
"What do you want, Skinner?" Spot shot back, not even meaning to sound as cold as he did. Now that Racetrack was back, now that he was safe, things were starting to slip back to normal. He didn't care what Manhattan thought of him, they were all weak anyway. But around Brooklyn… too much damage had already been done. At least they hadn't seen him kiss Racetrack.
Spot continued to mentally berate himself for that moment of weakness in front of the Manhattan boys. He usually wasn't even that nice to Racetrack when they were alone.
He shoved Racetrack into Jack's arms, wincing slightly at the forcefulness of his actions.
"Get him back to Manhattan," he snapped at Jack. "And you'd better send someone into Brooklyn to tell me how he is."
"Sure thing, Spot," Jack answered, sounding confused by Spot's immediate change of attitude after the appearance of the Brooklyn boy.
But Jack couldn't be more confused than Spot himself was.
Trying his hardest not to look back, Spot headed back to Brooklyn, leaving Racetrack behind once again.
As Jack and the others carried the still unconscious Racetrack back to Manhattan, he was forced to ward off various questions from the highly curious Blink and Mush about what exactly was going on between Spot and Race. It took a while, but Jack finally managed to make them both promise not to tell anyone. He knew that Mush would keep his mouth shut, but Blink tended to speak before he thought, so Jack wasn't entirely sure exactly how long Spot and Race's… whatever… was going to stay a secret.
Their progress back through the streets of Manhattan was slow, because they had to be careful with Racetrack. Even though he had lost a lot of weight while he was in that… in wherever it was, it was still a difficult task to carry him all the way back to Duane Street.
By the time they reached the lodging house, it was dark out. Jack was back to carrying Race, who looked practically dead. If Jack couldn't see the steady rise and fall of his chest, and hear the shallowness of his breathing, he would have believed that Racetrack had been killed.
The lodging house was crowded when they walked in. Most of the boys were lounging around downstairs, exhausted from their day of selling papers. The same subdued atmosphere that had permeated the lodging house since Racetrack's disappearance continued to hang in the air.
Specs, who had been seated in his usual spot on the stairs, let out a loud gasp as he saw Jack carry in Racetrack.
"He's back!" Specs shouted.
"Be quiet, Specs," Jack snapped, more harshly than he had intended to. "Race's sleeping."
"What happened?" Specs demanded, and a barrage of voices joined in, firing questions at Jack and the others faster than he could process them.
"Shut up, and let me through," Jack half-shouted, and he began to push his way through the crowd of newsboys to reach the bunks, which was rather difficult considering he was still holding Race.
Blink seemed to be taking matters into his own hands, and was doing his best to clear a path, as Mush was trying to answer the various questions, mostly with, "I don't know."
"Keep them out of the bunkroom for now," Jack called over his shoulder as did his best to make his way through the crowd.
When Jack finally managed to make his way up the stairs, he sat Racetrack down on his bunk, which had remained in the exact condition since Racetrack had left it weeks ago. Covering Racetrack with a blanket, he was quite surprised when Racetrack stirred slightly.
Jack sat on the edge of the bed, and brushed Racetrack's hair off his face.
Race's eyes were finally opening, just a bit.
His breathing was growing more rapid, and his mouth was moving as if he was trying to speak, but he couldn't seem to force the words out.
Jack leaned in, and lightly kissed Racetrack's forehead, as he had seen Spot do earlier. He wasn't sure exactly where the protective instinct had suddenly come from, but all he knew was that he wanted to make sure that Racetrack was going to be all right, and that nobody would ever be able to hurt him like that again.
Racetrack's eyes opened wider, and with what seemed like more effort than it should have taken, he finally managed to force out one syllable.
His voice was so tired, and so weak that Jack had to strain to hear it.
"Spot?"
Jack felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach.
"No, Race," he said quietly. "It's me, Jack."
As he watched Racetrack fight desperately to respond, Jack almost wished that that he'd just agreed with Racetrack, if it would save him the pain that he was seemingly going through now. Race's face was filled with so much agony, and Jack was feeling it with him.
"No," Racetrack sounded more confused than Jack had ever heard him before. "Not real."
"I'm right here, Race," Jack said, reaching for one of Race's hands, and caressing the bony fingers. "I'm here, and I'm not going to leave you again."
If Racetrack heard him, he made no sign that he understood. Instead he just passed out again.
Jack did his best to keep all of the other newsies out of the bunkroom, until it grew late enough that he had no choice but to let all of them in, because they had to sleep sometime. Jack knew that he wouldn't be selling the next day – someone had to stay in at the lodging house and take care of Racetrack. He'd promised Spot, but he knew that he would be doing this for Racetrack anyway. These new feelings of protectiveness had taken a hold of him, and he knew that there was no way that he was going to let Racetrack out of his sight until he had recovered.
Most of the newsies had questions, but Jack didn't have a lot of answers for them. He just made a brief announcement that Race had been picked up and put in some sort of weird asylum place, and that they shouldn't bother him until Jack gave the okay.
Jack switched bunks with Snipeshooter that night so that he could be there for Racetrack just in case anything happened. He stayed up for a long time, and he had just decided that it would be safe for him to go to sleep when Racetrack began to stir beside him.
It was the tossing and turning that first caught Jack's attention, because that was the most sound that Racetrack had made since his return. Jack jumped out of bed, and knelt besides Racetrack, who was flailing around in the bed. His mouth was open, and it was as if he was screaming, but no sound was coming out of his throat.
"Shh," Jack said desperately, placing his hands on Racetrack's shoulder's in a futile attempt to calm the hysterical boy down. "It's going to be okay, Race."
He could hear some of the other boys stirring from their sleep as Racetrack continued to thrash about. There were tears streaming down Race's face, and Jack wasn't sure what he could do to calm him. He didn't want to press down on Race any harder because Racetrack just seemed so weak after whatever it was that he'd gone through while he was in that hellhole.
Mush appeared at Jack's side, yawning slightly. Jack shook his head, and mouthed at Mush to go back to bed. Mush nodded, and quickly went around the lodging house, making sure that everyone else was going back to sleep also. Jack made a mental note to thank Mush later; he wasn't sure what he would do if he didn't have Mush there to help.
He just sat there, holding Racetrack until Racetrack finally started to quiet.
"Go back to sleep, Race," he whispered, in as comforting a voice as he could manage.
Racetrack just lay there for a while, blinking back tears.
He stayed up for the rest of the night, watching over Race, and wishing that he could make all of this pain go away.
Wishing that it was his name that Racetrack kept calling for, instead of Spot's.
Author's note – YES. I LIVE.
Um… sorry about that.
Anyway, after nearly four months, I managed to update. I'm quite shocked.
In important news, there are a couple of cool contests coming up! I'm turning 21 on April 14th, so in honor of my birthday, April 7-14 will be Racetrack week. If you post something Racetrack related send me an email at race queenitsy dot com and I'll put it up on the contest page.
Then Stage is having Specs/Dutchy week from April 15-21, and the crazy Javid fangirls are having David week from April 22-28. Clearly proving that we need to space out our birthdays a lot more.
Anyway, I know this is a shorter chapter, but it took forever to write. We're winding down… only another 2 or 3 chapters left. I have no idea where the whole Jack being in love with Racetrack thing came from, but now that it's here, its messing up my plot, which is making me pout.
Chapter title is from Company, which is a Sondheim show, and y'all should listen to the cast recording.
Shoutouts!
B-Stop typing like Blink, you h0! But I love you. And clearly, I love Jack as well. So there. (And thank you for being the most awesome person ever)
Gothica-You knew I was evil already. So there. loves
Rachel-I hope you don't mind now that it's getting slightly more lovey-dovey. But I'm glad you like the concept!
Artist-Yeah, Jack needs a hug. From Racetrack apparently. shrugs And Race is… severely messed up. I like torturing him too much.
Madison Square – I'm glad you liked, and I'm sorry it took so long. Spot does enjoy beating people up. :-D
Maddy- My darling, I'm so glad that you finally read. I love you! And no, Race still isn't talking to me.
Hazzagriff – at least there's no horrid cliffie this time. I figured they need some sort of a break.
Princess of Mirrors – You'll find out, now won't you? ;)
CiCi-I hope your Christmas Break went well! Wow… that just proves how long it took me to update this thing. Heh.
Shakespearean Fool – He's back, but… as you can see, he's not all there. He needs a hug, the poor boy. I'm so mean to him.
Glimmer – My Spot is almost always very very gay. And in love with Race. Or occasionally Jack. shrugs But its fun.
Iambic – Awww, I adore you! Thanks!
Saturday – Everyone does love Racetrack. Clearly, this is the problem. cries Stupid boys, messing with my plot…
Hotshot – I like Jack. Except when he messes up my plot. And Race has been through a hard time, but he'll get better. Maybe. I'm mean.
Bittersweetdragon – (twice!) I'm really glad you're enjoying.
Cabingirls – Nope, not the end. Not yet, anyway. We're getting close though…
Thistle – Did you know I was about to update? I had just sent this off to my beta when I got your review.
Til next time!
TSB
