I can't believe I'm on the 18th chapter. And I don't really know how many more chapters there will be, there's no end in sight…

Thank you so much for your reviews and suggestions, you inspire me to keep writing!

Spoilers: None. It's its own universe, I blame it all on the gin

Rating: Could be anywhere from PG13 to R. Who knows anymore?

Disclaimer: They're all JE's characters, except for Sandra. And no one would pay me for Sandra.

Out of my Mind Chapter 18

The seconds ticked away slowly. I was trying to listen into the darkness for any sounds, but the blood rushing in my ears made that hard.

'The gun!' Sane!Sandra spoke up 'Take the gun!'

The gun, right, where was it again?

I felt for it on the bedside table and almost knocked it down, my fingers were cold.

It was the gun Ranger had given me, not the one I had picked out. Not that my gun had felt comfortable, but I had chosen it for the grip I had on it. This gun was different, and I couldn't make out if it needed a safety thingy removed, or how many bullets it held.

I stifled a scream when I heard a low 'thump' in the main room.

My breath was coming out in ragged puffs, and I let out a blood-curling scream when the lights flicked on, aimlessly pointing the gun and firing.

I fired two rounds before a form descended upon me, pinning my arms above my head.

"Lin!"

I couldn't stop screaming, my eyes were squeezed shut and the weight on me was pinning me into the mattress.

"Lin! It's Ranger!"

The words trickled through to me in slow motion.

I opened my eyes and found myself eye-to-eye with Ranger, inches away from my face.

He kept his iron grip on me until I stopped struggling, and even then he didn't release my arms.

"R…R…Ranger?"

He took the gun out of my hand and slowly got up.

I stayed in the position he had left me in, taking lungfuls of air, tears streaming down my face.

"It's okay." He said. "You're safe."

He sat down next to me and cupped my shoulder.

I pushed myself into a sitting position and almost threw myself against him, wrapping my arms around him.

His arms settled around me and I realized I was sobbing now.

I had no reason to cry, it was over, but I couldn't stop the tears.

It took me a while to calm down, when the tears stopped, my heart was still hammering in my chest. I took a few deep breaths and pushed myself away from Ranger, wiping my eyes with my arm.

"You scared me." I said softly, trying to smile to let him know I was attempting humor.

"You didn't answer your phone."

"That was you?"

"Yeah, that was me."

"I…I thought…" The stranger's voice sounded in my mind as I looked at the phone.

"We saw an incoming call and were trying to trace it. When the connection was severed, we tried to call you."

He wiped a tear from my cheek. "You scared us, too, babe."

"I didn't mean to." I whispered.

His hand rested on my face and he was studying me quietly, probably trying to figure out if I was going to scream again.

"I know." He finally said softly.

My senses returned. Right, of course. I had never turned the cell phone back on, the landline was the only way for Ranger to get in touch with me. He had been trying to call, not Bad Guy. Well, how was I to know?

"You kissed me." I said. I had no idea where that had come from, it certainly wasn't what I had wanted to say.

He smiled. "I did. Seemed like the only way to convince you."

"If you can't persuade them, take them by surprise?"

"Something like that." And he took me in his arms again.

"Don't make it a habit to shoot at me." He said, his mouth close to my ear.

"I didn't know it was you." I argued, my voice muffled because my mouth was at his shoulder. I could feel Ranger laugh softly.

"Are you going to be all right?" He asked, gently pushing me away.

I nodded, but I didn't believe it. I doubted there was a minute of sleep left for me, even if I'd be able to control my breathing by dawn.

"Who was the caller?" Ranger asked.

"Huh?"
"Who called you?" Ranger's voice sounded patient, the way you talk to a small child.

"It…it was him. Flower guy…photo dude."

"How do you know?" He was still holding my arms, his concerned eyes on me.

I told him the gist of the phone call, everything I could remember about it.

"It was creepy." I finished. Ranger nodded slowly, then he kissed my forehead.

"Try to get some rest. I'll be on the couch."

And he got up.

I didn't want him to leave, not even if he was going to be in the next room, and I wanted to tell him so, but no words would come out of my mouth.

Ranger was talking on his cell phone when I fell back down on my back. He was probably briefing the team.

I kind of understood his reaction outside earlier; it was probably his way of showing he cared. In a twisted sort of way.

As far as I was concerned, the kiss had really shown that he cared.

But is till didn't explain his all-business-like attitude during the day.

I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, trying to sort out what I was feeling. In the past few days, I had been scared and terrified more often than ever in my life before. At the same time, there had been moments when I had felt never-experienced safety and comfort. I wondered if it was me or the men in my new life.

I pretty much knew the fear was because of the Senor, but I didn't know what I felt about Joe or Ranger.

At first, I had categorized it as a fangirl crush, understandable attraction to the hotties I had read so much about.

But what was it now?

The bedside radio clock told me it was 4 AM when I finally gave up on sleeping.

I decided to take a hot bath, since the bathroom had an inviting tub, and I didn't want to wake Ranger by making coffee.

I tiptoed into the bathroom and closed the door, started the water and dissolved half a bottle of my vanilla shower gel in the stream.

With a sigh, I eased myself into the steamy goodness.

A loud knock on the door woke me, the water only lukewarm around me.

"You okay in there?" Ranger asked.

I gasped in surprise.

"I'm fine!"

"Need some help?" Heee! Tempting…

"No!"

I thought I heard him chuckle, but he didn't come in.

Coffee was brewing in the kitchen when I made my way out of the bathroom.

Ranger's hair was a little mussed, and he was a few hours past a five o'clock shadow.

"Morning." I said, because I needed to say something.

Sunlight was streaming through the windows and traffic could be heard from outside.

Ranger clipped on his gun and secured it, then he looked at me.

"How're you feeling?"

"Eh…" I said and moved my hand in a 'so-so' motion.

"About today…" He started.

"I'm meeting Lula for breakfast."

"Okay, but you'll be with Tank and Cal."

"What?"

"It was a little too close for comfort last night. I'll have the two follow you."

"But…"

"No argument." He said, putting a finger on my mouth. "You won't see them, they'll be your shadow."

"Do you still want me out and about?" I asked, although that was pretty much obvious, if I had merry men following me.

"If you feel up to it?" He sounded like he really wanted it to be my decision. I reasoned that the alternative was staying in the apartment all day, so I nodded.

"Do you have any plans with Joe tonight?"

I had a lot of plans with Joe any night, only Joe didn't know about them. Was Ranger jealous?

"Because if you spend time with him, he needs to know the stakes. I'll need to brief him about last night."

Oh, not so much with the jealousy then. Just doing his job.

"He'll call me later."

"Might be a good idea to turn your cell phone on then." Ranger said, handing me the phone.

Right. I didn't know why I was disappointed that Ranger wasn't jealous. It wasn't like I expected him to be.

"I gotta go." He said "There's coffee in the kitchen. Try not to get into too much trouble today."

I grimaced at that and he smiled, stroking my hair lightly.

"I'll try." I promised, expecting some form of a goodbye kiss.

Ranger winked and walked past me to the door.

"Lock up behind me!" He advised and left. So much for the kiss goodbye.

I still had hours before I was meeting Lula for breakfast, so I had my coffee in front of the TV, inhaling mindless morning shows. After an hour, I was successfully distracted and started thinking about the day ahead.

I didn't know if I was going to ask Lula to join me for the skip tracing or if I wanted to venture out on my own. Knowing that I'd have RangeMan protection made me feel safe, probably I didn't need Lula for comfort. But it would give me a chance to find out more about her, and possibly about Stephanie.

If I'd have any luck catching an FTA, I was going to spend the money on new clothes. Black all the time just didn't work for me. So there was a plan! Go get breakfast, get to know Lula, catch some skips, make money and splurge at the mall! Do not pass Go, do not waste a minute thinking about the bad guy, but be vigilant. I realized there'd had to be some thinking if I was going to do a good job being vigilant, but I didn't let that bring my mood down. I was a girl with a mission!

At ten minutes of ten, I parked the shiny convertible in front of the bonds office. I hadn't figured out how to bring the top down, so I wasn't as cool as possible, but it was okay. As much as I had looked, I hadn't been able to pick out a car that was following me. If Tank and Cal were there, they were well hidden.

My cargo pants were packed with all my gizmos and gadgets, and the gun was at my belt.

Connie smiled at me by way of greeting when I entered the office.

"Lula isn't in yet. Do you have any body receipts for me?"

"Not yet." I said "But how long will you be here today?"

"Depends on how much comes in today. It's been kind of a slow week, probably until 5."

And she returned her attention to her nails, painting them a fire engine red.

I took a seat on the couch and looked around, trying to memorize every single detail. I wanted to tell Jess everything when I returned. I felt so bad for not calling her earlier or talking to her now, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, to even try to explain. I was in my own world now.

The door burst open and Lula paraded in, there was no other way to describe her entrance.

She wore purple biker shorts that seemed to defy the laws of spandex, and a black tube top that did the best it could in reigning in her plus-size boobs. On me, the outfit would have looked ridiculous, Lula looked great.

She smiled wide. "Good thing you're already here, girl. I'm hungry. I can get real cranky if I don't get some food in me for breakfast."

I didn't doubt that, I was the same way with coffee.

"Do you want to go to the diner next door?" I suggested.

"Heck no. I have my eyes on Antonio's. Best breakfast around." She hitched up her purse on her shoulder and greeted Connie. "Want us to bring anything back for you?"

"I'll have your leftover breakfast fries, if you don't mind." Connie replied, but I had my doubts Lula did leftovers.

We took Lula's car, since she refused to ride in my 'clown car' with me. I was okay with that, since I didn't know the way and I'd never ridden in a Firebird, much less a banana-yellow one.

My fillings were vibrating when we pulled into the restaurant's parking lot a few minutes later, Lula had the bass cranked high.

I waited until we were seated and had placed our orders, carefully prioritizing my questions. There was so much I wanted to ask Lula, but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. After all, I couldn't tell her the real reason for my questions, ever, so I didn't really know what to tell her if she asked why I wanted to know all these things.

"So, Connie tells me you've been with Vinnie's for some time now?"

She nodded, stirring her coffee.

"Do you like it?"

She thought about that for a moment. "It has its moments, I guess. Some days are better than others. Over all though, one hundred percent better than my old job."

"I heard."

"Dayum, that Connie is a blabber mouth!" But she didn't seem upset, as if she had been expecting as much.

"What made you change careers?" It felt like a safe question at that point.

The waitress arrived with our mountains of food, and Lula waited until she had left to reply.

"I realized I was miserable, it wasn't like being a 'ho is a career choice you make. But I never got the motivation, you know?" She poured syrup over her pancakes "Then one night, I get a phone call and it's my friend Jackie and she's outside but can't make it up the stairs, on account of she's been beaten to a pulp by a john."

Lula chewed and swallowed, she looked like she was reviewing what had happened in her mind.

"That was it. I decided then and there that I didn't want to end up like that. Jackie ended up being all right, but I was done. The next week, I started filing at the bonds office. And let me tell you, it wasn't an easy switch. But I've been happier ever since!" She grinned for emphasis and speared a sausage link.

There wasn't an easy segue, but I tried anyway.

"Didn't Stephanie Plum used to do the filing?"
Lula frowned, thinking. "Skinny white girl with blue eyes?"

I nodded.

"I think I remember her. Vinnie's cousin, right?" I nodded again. "Last I heard, she was getting married. I think she moved away." That didn't sound like Lula and Steph had been that close. It truly was an alternate universe.

"Do you know who she got married to?" It was worth a try. Lula shook her head. "I never asked. Connie may know though. How do you know Stephanie?"

Time for a fib, I decided.

"Ranger mentioned her."

"That man is fiiiine!"

My sentiments exactly. "Amen. Did you ever, you know, ask him out or something?"

Lula shook her head vehemently and the little glass beads in her braids clacked. "I think I'd mess my pants trying, but I sure wouldn't kick him out of my bed, if you know what I mean. I've heard rumors."

She turned her attention back to her breakfast.

"What kind of rumors?" I asked. This I had to know!

"You know," She swirled her fork in the air "about his…abilities." As if I hadn't guessed that.

"What about his abilities?"

"Word is, once you get to know him, you know, that way, you're ruined for all other men." Lula looked like there was no doubt in her mind the rumor was true. I had only kissed Ranger, but I didn't have much doubt either.

We continued talking about various hot celebrities and how they compared to Ranger, then about the best places to buy clothes and get a good manicure in Trenton. Lula didn't seem to mind that I never asked her about insider tips relating to bounty huntering.

I paid for breakfast and considered it a true value: I had learned about Lula, and to some extend about Steph, and I had some new topic to discuss with Ranger when I got him alone again.

We drove back to the office, and Lula was about to park at the curb when she hesitated.

"Uh-oh." She said, her eyes focused ahead.

"What?" I asked, trying to follow her line of sight.

"Don't look now, but there's a cop leaning against your car. Do you want me to take off and drop you somewhere else?"
I smiled at her concern. Morelli was leaning against my car as if he was posing for GQ, I couldn't imagine a less threatening stance. I had only just met Lula and she was already looking out for me!

"That's OK." I assured her "I know him. It's Joe Morelli."

"Yeah, I know." She said, parking her Firebird "But I didn't know you two were best buds. Always gotta be careful when you see cops out of nowhere."

"We met over a crime scene the other day, it was really romantic. If you're Morticia Adams…"

Lula laughed at that and killed the engine. "If you say so. Don't take it personally, but I'm not going to linger. I got filing to do and everything."

I smiled. Alternate universe or not, Lula still had a 'respect' for cops. I couldn't blame her, they usually made me nervous, too. Well, Joe still made me nervous, but in a whole other way.

Joe looked up when we slammed the car doors shut and he walked over to where I was standing on the sidewalk. Lula glanced at him and he acknowledged her, then she disappeared into the office.

"Hi." Joe said simply and pulled me towards him by my neck, kissing me lightly on the lips. Now there was a proper 'hello'. He smiled when he released me.

"Sorry I didn't call last night, I didn't get out of the bar until well after two. There were…issues." He let go of me and gestured 'you know…'.

"I heard." I said, and Joe looked surprised. "Well, Ranger heard, and he told me." I explained.

Joe's eyes narrowed a little. "It's probably easier for me not to ask how Ranger knows these things the moment they happen…but be careful he doesn't drag you into anything."

Like what?

"What do you mean?" I wanted to know. Joe shook his head, smiling knowingly. "Ranger's got a reputation for making and following his own rules. He's on our side, for the most part, but we can only count on him if his goals happen to match ours. I'd hate for you to be dragged into something." His knuckles brushed my face. "Well, any deeper than you already have."

I smiled at the sentiment. Unfortunately, it would make it harder for me to explain Ranger's involvement and the master plan. If Joe didn't like what he heard, he could jeopardize the setup.

"I need to talk to you." I said, in a tone lighter than I felt. I was going to feel Joe out first, then tell him the entire story. After all, he had seen the first note and pictures, he was already half up-to-date.

Joe looked at his watch. "I have to run now, but if you don't have plans, we could do a late lunch?" The thought of food almost made me gag since I had just stuffed myself with enough bacon, eggs and hash browns to feed a family, but I nodded.

"Around three?" He asked as he pulled me close.

"Want to meet me right here?" I had to come back here anyway if I had any body receipts to cash.

He kissed me instead of answering, but I thought I had gotten the message. There was a lot of tongue and some wandering hands before he released me, smiling.

"I'll see you then." He said before he walked over to his car and took off. I was glad no one had stopped to gawk at us, it must have been quite a show. I cleared my throat and searched my pockets for my car keys, telling myself to calm down already.

When I had started the car and pulled away from the curb, I saw a black SUV do the same a number of cars back. Shit! I had forgotten about my escort, had they witnessed the whole thing?
I felt my ears burn and the goofy smile was gone from my face.

Shit!