At dinner that night, Itachi was starting to feel slightly better, but his anger was just below the surface so naturally, the slightest thing would set him off.

"Hey, I heard your manhood was taken away today." Kisame said sitting beside Itachi with his dinner.

"Shut up Kisame! Go to hell!" Itachi screamed at him. Sasori, Zetsu and Deidara were the next to arrive.

"Oh my god! I thought the French toast was great, but baked chicken, yeah? Isn't this just the greatest, yeah?" Itachi shot daggers at Deidara.

"What should I do in my baking activity? What do kids like to bake?" Sasori asked. It was at that moment the simply lovely Sadine walked into the dinner hall.

"Who's that? I've not seen her around here yet." Zetsu wondered.

"Oh, that's Sadine, she's helping me with my activity, yeah." Deidara said.

"Well, she's coincidentally beautiful." Sasori said sarcastically.

"Danna…" Deidara lowered his voice, "she has a PhD, yeah." Deidara said making sure only Sasori heard him. Now, Sasori was sophisticated to the point that he could truly appreciate a woman with a Ph.D.

"What!" he was rather shocked.

"Yeah I know, but I told her she could get a cream for it, yeah." Deidara's statement confused Sasori momentarily.

"Cream? What?" he paused for a moment. "Oh god Deidara! That's an STD! God, you dumbass! A PhD is a doctoral degree, an educational degree that requires 3-4 years of dedication. Deidara I swear to god, you have melted your brain with expensive shampoo and sold your common sense to Dolce and Gabbana!" Sasori rolled his eyes and shook his head in disgust, although now he wanted more than anything to talk to this highly educated woman and the thought of her, beautiful and intelligent getting stuck with Deidara sickened him. Naturally, Deidara looked as if he were about to cry.

Now came Itachi's big test….not just any test, the test of all tests. A brunette sat down beside him.

"Hi! I'm Chloe me and my friends were talking about how hot you are." She said to Itachi. Itachi slowly turned his head sideways to face her.

"Just so you know, I have a girlfriend, not just any girlfriend, the woman of all women, a woman that would make you look like a little girl. Now, do you want to see her picture or do you want to just leave now because I'm so not sleeping with you." Itachi said dryly. Now, Deidara was crying.

"Oh my god! Itachi that's the most beautiful thing you've ever said, yeah!" Deidara said.

"You know today I spent all day reading Basic Car Maintenance for Morons and I still don't know shit about cars." Zetsu complained to Hidan.

"Seriously, Zetsu, those diagrams are so easy to understand, even blondes could figure it out…" Hidan paused watching Deidara spazz out over a packet of low fat low carb dressing that he was trying to open but couldn't. "Okay, well most blondes anyway."

Dinner ended and it was time for everyone to tackle bedtime once more. Hidan's cabin was surprisingly orderly and his campers were tired anyway. Kakuzu had decided he was intimidated by so many campers and he pretended like he was asleep and hoped the kids would figure everything out. Itachi had decided that his cabin deserved a bedtime story….he was closing in the ending:

"What happened next, Itachi?" one of the campers asked.

"Yeah, did the two guys make it out of the menswear department?" another intrigued camper asked.

"Well, the clock read 12 minutes until 9:00 and there they were waiting on a sales clerk with $3500 dollars worth of clothes. But, then like a magical fairy, a sales attendant appeared, the two guys ended up saving 40 percent off their total purchase for opening a new Prada account and everyone lived fashionably ever after."

"Woooow!" The campers were fascinated. Once Itachi was satisfied that the campers were asleep he left his cabin and headed for Sasori's dysfunctional one. However, much to Itachi's surprise, Sasori's kids were asleep also.

"Sasori!" Itachi whispered outside Sasori's window. "Sasori! Damn it Sasori! Answer me!" Itachi whispered sharply.

"Itachi? What the hell do you want?" Sasori finally answered.

"Give me your RAZR."

"Why? You used up all the battery like less than 10 hours ago."

"I need it. I need to call Dana."

"No you don't! Go to bed!"

"Sasori, you stupid fuck I need your phone! I have to call Dana and see if everything between my legs still functions properly!" Sasori practically lost it.

"Itachi! You….ooooooh…no! There is no way in hell I'm letting you de-virginize my phone with your heavy breathing! You are not using the RAZR to have phone sex with Dana!

"Was it that obvious I was going to have phone sex?"

"Yes! Now go to bed dumbass before these camp kids wonder why two grown guys are discussing phone sex and arguing over a pink phone!"

Ah yes, joys of the week long summer camp have only begun!