"You know Sadine, I think your ideas on education in America's schools and global warming are quite well thought out and honestly you could influence a legislative body." Sasori said. It is at this point that we should all stop and appreciate the sexy sophistication Sasori truly possesses….too bad he is constantly being annoyed by other Akatsuki members who are blonde. "You know, I'm sorry you got stuck with Deidara, he doesn't mean to be dense…he just is, he can't help it he's two tacos short of a combination plate." Sasori continued enjoying immensely his conversation with Sadine who was clearly so educated it almost hurt.
"Oh Sasori, he's actually quite intelligent; I mean you should hear him talk about art." Sadine insisted. Sasori sipped on his iced tea he had and rolled his eyes.
"Sadine, art is his thing; he and I bitch about art all the time. But let me tell you something…things like microwave popcorn freak him out and he confused PhD with STD." Sasori said. Sadine thought a moment.
"You know I kind of wondered why he told me where to purchase creams." Sadine answered. "What's his problem with microwave popcorn?"
"He doesn't understand why the same concept doesn't apply if you stick an ear of corn in the microwave." Sasori answered. "So, listen. Tomorrow night is the night when all the counselors are allowed to leave the camp, why don't you come eat with us and then you and I go to the piano bar in the city."
"Oh my gosh! Sasori I would love to do that!" Sasori was more than pleased that he had gotten to the blonde before Deidara….speaking of Deidara.
"Itachi, do you ever wonder why envelopes aren't strawberry flavored, yeah?" Deidara asked helping Itachi lick envelopes. Itachi glared.
"Because dumbass, there's no such thing."
"Well, there are strawberry flavored condoms so why doesn't the same concept apply to envelopes, yeah?" Itachi quick licking the envelopes and trembled with rage as Sharingan burned into his eyes.
"Deidara, do you even hear half the shit that comes out of your mouth!?"
"Itachi, there really are strawberry condoms! Although, I think gay couples use those, yeah." Itachi wasn't getting any more patient.
"Deidara….since you're not gay and since you hate the taste of the envelopes so much…THEN USE THE FUCKING TONGUE IN YOUR FUCKING HAND!" Itachi was pissed. Deidara still wasn't happy with this response.
"Well, I'm just telling you that there really are condoms like that and I don't understand why the envelopes couldn't be like that too, yeah." At any rate, Deidara took Itachi's advice.
"I swear I would stab you with a kunai until you bled to death right now if it weren't for the fact that I'm screwing your sister." Itachi hissed at him.
"You know you're really cranky when you're not having sex, yeah. You need to work on that because Dana can't just spread her legs whenever, she has a job, yeah." We'll let those two argue some more, let's check in with Kakuzu and his adventures in the woods…
"BEES! BEES!! BEEEEEEEEEES! AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" Kakuzu was trying to be a good nature guide by pointing out a bee hive to his campers, however he got too close and fell over in the bee hive and now he was trying to run away from the swarm and he was getting stung repeatedly in the process. The campers were screaming and running in all directions attempting to avoid being stung as well. Kakuzu went tumbling down the hill side, into a patch of thorns, over a series of logs, through a giant spider web, and he finally landed in a pool of water at the base of a waterfall. The campers watched him not really offering to help him out of the water…they were more wondering where the honey from the bees would be located.
"I'm…..I'm okay….I'm okay!" Kakuzu said pulling himself out of the water, not that any of the campers really cared.
"Wow! Kakuzu you're the coolest camp counselor ever!" One of the kids yelled at him. This made Kakuzu swell with pride; he was the cool counselor…although right now…he was hurting like hell all over. Let's check on Kisame and his table…
"Shit! Zetsu! This is nothing but crap! I can't put the damn table together! You and I have tried for 4 hours! Look! It doesn't even look like a fucking table." It was true…Kisame held up what he had assembled and it was just a bunch of pieces strung together.
"Kisame, it's obvious that is no table, let's give up on this stupid piece of crap, come on we haven't seen Tobi in like 7 hours…he may have wandered off a cliff somewhere. Let's go find him." Zetsu said.
Kakuzu returned to camp only to find Deidara and Itachi doing the mail thing in the main cabin.
"I'm not going to ask, I'll let you explain." Itachi said looking up from the mail at Kakuzu.
"Well, I need some bee sting ointment to start…then maybe I can explain from there." Kakuzu said he then headed immediately towards the first aid office. Kisame found Tobi exactly where they had left him…
"Kisame! I've counted 127,456 blades of grass today!" Tobi was so pleased with himself. Kisame actually felt sorry for the fact that Deidara was going to have to up with this idiot on missions.
"That's all you've done today?" Kisame asked. He could tell Tobi's idiotic swirly face was smiling.
