"Okay, campers now remember when you're painting; I want to see you at your most Monet, yeah!" Deidara instructed.
"You really have a way with kids." Sadine said.
"Well, I just like to teach art, yeah." Deidara's activity day was in full force and he was having the time of his life teaching kids about Claude Monet and watching them paint. He wasn't noticing that he was sweeping Sadine off into a dreamy state of her own watching his chemistry with his campers….and the fact that it just dawned on her that Deidara was gorgeous.
"No, no honey, you're not dipping your brush in the water and cleaning it out between colors, you need to clean your brush, yeah." Deidara instructed. The 10-year-old girl looked up at Deidara.
"You have really long hair." She said.
Today was also Sasori's baking activity. He was not looking forward to it and he was certain he would look ridiculous in the apron.
"Hello…campers. This is baking class. Uuuhh….we're going to bake something today….how about cookies?" All the campers cheered like crazy for cookie baking. Sasori could feel his stomach twist in knots at the feeling of messing this up entirely and causing some sort of explosion in the camp kitchen. Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu and Tobi were all assigned other camp counselor like duties today, although while Saosri was in his baking class, Itachi had managed to steal the pink RAZR….he could finally call Dana without Sasori finding out. Sasori had handed out aprons to all his eager little bakers and he was trying to teach them to measure one cup of flour. Naturally, 17 cups of flour ended up in the floor before the campers got each of their one cups measured. "Wait, wait, kids….you're….you're spilling too much flour. Measure like this." Sasori tried to demonstrate how to measure the flour without spilling it all over the place. The campers watched, however, when they leveled their cups they only spilt more flour.
Kakuzu was resting in his cabin covered in calamine lotion from the poison ivy incident. And he had bee sting ointment over the calamine lotion…he was basically a walking ball of goo. Honestly, Kakuzu felt so terrible after the hiking incident that he could hardly wait to leave the camp that night to go out for dinner. He needed something to make all the throbbing and the aching go away, and the sign that said 'World's Coolest Counselor' that the kids had made him wasn't enough.
Deidara had been working with the campers in the art call all morning long and he was in a state of inescapable bliss with all the paint brushes, the paints, the modeling clay, and the eager campers. Sadine couldn't control herself any more….she had to ask Deidara something.
"Um…Deidara…I need to ask you something, can we be alone for a second?" Sadine sounded nervous. Deidara's paint smock was covered in paint, as were his hands but he agreed to step away from his beloved little artists to talk to Sadine.
"This is…a little weird for me…but….you are just so gorgeous…and I'm going out with your red head friend tonight."
"Oh my god! My Danna? Yeah?" Deidara interrupted her.
"Yeah, yeah, anyway…you're….a guy….and I'm…..not..." Sadine fidgeted like crazy. "Deidara…will you teach me how to give a blow job?" Sadine said it as quickly as she could. Deidara must have blinked 20 times.
"Well….it would be slutty of me to just let you suck on me for no reason…but if you're wanting this lesson because you have a date with my Sasori…." Deidara was interrupted.
"Please Deidara, I've never done that…and on top of that I'm a virgin…I'm so inexperienced." Sadine was quite sincere.
"Hmmm…..well it's for a good cause…okay I don't have any campers in my cabin from 3 to 4 this afternoon, yeah. Come to my cabin and I'll teach you everything you need to know, yeah." Deidara said.
"Oh, oh thank you so much. But, is an hour long enough?" Sadine asked. Deidara couldn't help but snicker at her innocence.
"Oh god….Sadine….the truth is….we only need about 20 minutes, the other 40 is for me to get ready for our big night away from camp and for me to quiz you over everything you learn, yeah."
"OH MY GOD! TURN THE BLENDER OFF! TURN IT…..OH GOD!" Baking with Sasori wasn't going so well. There were eggs flying out of the mixer, batter sticking to the ceiling, the smoke detector was howling because there was smoke rolling out of the oven from burning cookies, and Sasori was covered in batter with chocolate chips. "NO! NO! NO! NO MORE MILK! THAT'S ENOUGH MILK!" Sasori tried to rescue the gallon of milk that was being poured into the rampaging mixer. "TURN THE MIXER SPEED DOWN!" The mixer raged at the highest speed setting possible, covering Sasori in homogenized dairy goodness. "Shit, this is not going well." Sasori thought to himself as the sprinkler system in the cabin kicked on from all the smoke, covering him in water.
Deidara's art class had cleaned up and at least 7 campers had all made pictures for him which he promised to hang up in his cabin. Now Deidara had another class to teach…thank god it was a private lesson…
Itachi was in his cabin getting ready for the evening out, however he noticed that he had had nearly drained Sasori's cell phone battery because he had been talking to Dana the entire time he was working on his super shiny, super soft to the touch hair. He knew Sasori would turn him into a puppet, and let's be honest, Itachi is much to pretty to be a puppet….Itachi decided to blame Deidara for it. That had worked in the past.
"Dana, should I wear my hair back tonight, or let it down?" he asked her.
"Hmmm…well what's the humidity like, yeah?"
"It's pretty warm."
"Oh, you should like so wear it back, yeah." Was Dana's response. Itachi watched as the 'warning battery dangerously low' light blinked at him.
"Okay, Dana, baby I have to go. I've used all Sasori's battery again, bye." Itachi was much less enraged with anger today than he was yesterday…
47 minutes, one batter-dipped Sasori, one cream coated Kakuzu, and one sex education lesson later….
"Deidara, where's that Michael Korrs shirt, I want to wear that. Oh and we're going to IHOP tonight." Itachi said. Deidara threw the shirt Itachi wanted at him. Itachi eyed him suspiciously.
"What have you been doing…you have that look in your cheeks." Itachi said quickly pulling the brilliant well fitting Michael Korrs shirt over his head. Itachi was lucky that he had the body to wear clingy white things.
"What look, yeah? And what is IHOP?" Deidara asked.
"You slept with someone!" Itachi accused.
"I didn't sleep with anyone, yeah." Deidara said. "And you still haven't told me what an IHOP is, yeah!"
"We're going to International House of Pancakes! Tell me who you're screwing!" Itachi demanded.
"I'm not screwing anyone! I had to teach Sadine how to give a blow job…and I thought you said we were going to IHOP, yeah?
"Oh my god! Who doesn't know how to do that? Why are you teaching her that and yes we ARE going to IHOP?" Itachi said digging through Deidara's suitcase for any cologne he could find.
"I had to teach her because she's going out with Sasori after we eat tonight, she's a virgin and she doesn't know how to do anything, she's so sweet, yeah. And I thought you said something about International House of Pancakes, yeah?"
"Deidara, International House of Pancakes and IHOP are the same place….it's an acronym….think about it." Deidara was ready to leave, but now he was thinking as hard as he could…trying to figure out where they were going to eat. Of course, his brain was still a little cloudy from the lesson he had recently given.
"Oh! Oh I get it now, Itachi, yeah! The letters spell the name! Oh my god! That is like so clever, yeah!" Itachi rolled his eyes and they left to meet up with everyone else for their night at IHOP…we'll check in later on shall we?
