A Ninja's Guide to Random Stuff

Poooooooof!

Sheshruke: Yo yo yo peace out!

Firebrand: Do you have to do that every time we dramatically poof into existence?

Sheshruke: Obviously, yes. Now all of you die to the wrath of my overstuffed pillow! (Chucks pillow in the general direction of Sasuke)

Sasuke: What the...? Ach! (Gets hit by pillow which propels him into the salad dish)

Nightshade: would you like some punch with your head injury? (Throws punch bowl at Sasuke, knocking him out for the...oh, I don't even care how many times that's happened now)

Kinzu: Another one bites the dust.

Ruler: (he also poofed out of the cloudy thing) I'm just as deadly with a pillow as I am with a bow! (Shoots pillow out of cannon that appeared from nowhere)

Naruto: Prepare to die by the pillow of the future hokage! Beli- (is crushed under wall)

Ibiki: Ahahahahah! Now I will show you the pain and agony a cheese grater can cause!

Nightshade: Huh! I thought I sealed you away in my other story!

Ibiki: I will now demonstrate my torture methods! (Grabs Ebisu)

Ebisu: Noooooooooo!

Izumi: I'm sorry to do this to you Nightshade but...(attacks Nightshade with a pillow)

Nightshade: (appears behind Izumi) And I'm not sorry to do this to you! (Whacks Izumi clear into next Tuesday)

Kinzu: Hmmm...I'll have to throw this piece of cheese to-

Zhookshen: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeese! (Grabs cheese from Kinzu) Mine!

Nightshade: What is with all these dudes?

Zhookshen: Least I'm not as bad as that beeping Naruto.

Hinata: I'll have to use my juken on you for insulting Naruto. Hiya! (Throws pillow that spills paper everywhere at Zhookshen)

Zhookshen: What's this? (Looks at paper) Ehheheheh!

Kinzu: What's all this? (Catches paper) Good lord!

Hinata: Oh no! Are those...

Zhookshen: I didn't know you kept pictures of Naruto in your pillow! How sweet...now you can both rest in pieces together! (Throws pillow which ejects razors)

Hinata: Eeeeeee! (Is sliced by razors)

Nightshade: Somehow I knew this comic would get much more violent as soon as you came.

Sheshruke: What's with the delay of beating the crap out of eachother with pillows? I will destroy you all with ease!

Nightshade: And I'll whack you with my temper pedic pillow with ease!

Sheshruke: That finishes things! This is war!

Izumi: Is it next Tuesday yet? I really want to be in the comic again...

Nightshade: Oh fine. Just don't say or do anything stupid.

Izumi: How about we do this in an organized manner and pick teams?

Kinzu: That would be a perfectly decent idea...if we were cowardly enough to rely on team mates! Every man for himself!

Nightshade: Oh and Izumi, there's something I need to tell you...(leans closer to Izumi)

Izumi (bluses) W-what is it?

Nightshade: I thought I told you not to say anything stupid! (Whacks Izumi into the Tuesday after the next Tuesday)

Kinzu: Ohhhhh...right in the eardrum.

Firebrand: I'd hate to be on the wrong end of that pillow.

Naruto: (angel music plays as he sprouts wings)

Zhooksahen: You can't begin your assent to heaven. Your not dead yet.

Naruto: Oh. Good point.

Zhookshen: (shoots Naruto with pocket machine gun) Ok, now you can go ahead up to that big piece of cheese in the sky.

Everyone: 0o

Zhookshen: Hey, we all have our own beliefs, right?

Hinata: Naruto-kun! Don't leave without me! (Jumps off balcony)

Naruto: Ah, I'm feeling better now. Where's Hinata?

Ruler: Oh, the irony of it all.

Bender: That meat bag of yours had it coming anyway.

Hinata: I hear Naruto-kuns voice!

Bender: Aw crap. Way to ruin the moment jackass.

Nightshade: Why aren't you dead?

Hinata: I heard Naruto calling out to me...also I think I landed on something soft. (Gets up and sees she landed on Yugi and Joey's corpses) Eeeeeeeek!

Kinzu: Ahem...where were we? Ah yes...I'll show you the wrath of my randomness! Over-fluffed pillow jutsu!

Zhookshen: I'll show you the wrath of my cheez! I fight for the honor of the holy cheddar!

Sheshruke: I've had it with all this mono-logging! Yet's just kill each other already!

Nightshade: Is that a death wish buddy? Cause if it is, your wish is about to come true! (Chucks pillow at Shehruke)

Ruler: Hello? Aren't you guys supposed to be afraid of my big cannon like thing? Hello?

Mitsuki: Hello everyone! It's time to play feather melee!

Everyone: Huh?

Mitsuki: In this game, everyone will face off against each other in a tournament style battle.

Kinzu: Sounds fine to me.

Nightshade: Yeah, I guess that's ok...

Mitsuki: Good! Then the first contestants will be Kinzu and Sakura, who just woke up!

Sakura: Eh?

Mitsuki: Ready...fight!

Kinzu: Die. (Knocks Sakura out AGAIN)

Nightshade: I'm sure we all saw that coming.

Mitsuki: After that short match, the next round will be Zhookshen against Kakashi! Fight!

Zhookshen: (sneers) Oh how I've waited for this moment.

Kakashi: Don't get to cocky. I've still got my secret jutsu.

Zhookshen: (poofs behind Kakashi) You mean this one? One thousand years of death!

Kakashi: Arrrggghhhh! Looks like I'm blasting off again! (Flies into distance)

Misty: I've heard that phrase before.

Since it's a pain to keep typing all the unimportant matches, I'll just be telling you the results of the boring ones.

Bender lost to Leila despite his broken beer can, Sasuke beat Naruto by setting fire to his pillow, Senri beat Hinata hands down with his bear claw. Then it was Nightshade v.s. Firebrand.

Mitsuki: Get ready...and fight!

Nightshade: Alright Firebrand. Prepare to feel the sting of my iron...(pokes pillow) check that, my fluffy pillow.

Firebrand: I don't think you know who your dealing with.

Nightshade: No actually, I don't. Who the heck are you?

Firebrand: I'm a thief that ransacks houses and rich men for no real reason. Now have at you! (Swings pillow at Nightshade)

Nightshade: (side steps and jumps behind Firebrand) I have to words for you...

Firebrand: Uh oh...

Nightshade: Up yours! (Shoves pillow up Firebrand's butt)

Firebrand: Even though it's soft it burns! Yaaaah!

Mitsuki: This round goes to Nightshade! The next round will be between Pochi and Sheshruke! Please begin!

Sheshruke: I'll defeat you with ease!

Bender: Aw shut up jerk!

Mitsuki: Now Pochi, if you win this I'll send you some pictures master Yoshitaka took of Izumi.

Pochi: Goro! (Charges Sheshruke) Goro goro goro!

Sheshruke: Hey! Isn't that cheating? Your not aloud to bribe him, are you? Ahhhh! (Is crushed by Pochi)

Mitsuki: And the winner is...Pochi!

Pochi: Goro!

Mitsuki: The next fight is between Ruler and Ino. Begin!

Ruler: May as well give up now Ino. Your way out of your league.

Ino: Oh really? Mind transfer jutsu!

Ruler: Missed! Now it's time for you to get your licks!

Everyone: 0o

Ruler: Not literally! Oh just die already. (Knocks Ino out with his pillow)

Mitsuki: And the victor is Ruler! We will now be...what are you doing?

Ruler: (shoots Ino in various vital spots with his bow) Ahhhhh...now I feel much better...

Mitsuki: Anyway, We will now be moving on to the finals. The first match is Zhookshen against Leila. Battle!

Kinzu: Hey Zhookshen! She insulted cheese!

Zhookshen: Why you...!

Leila: I did not! I didn't say anyth-

Bender: Yeah! She said it was old and horrible smelling. Like Fry's ass!

Zhookshen: I'll blast you into the Tuesday after next Tuesday were you'll be joining Izumi! Yahhhh!

Leila: Hiya! (Hits Zhookshen with a pillow right between the eyes) That should teach you a lesson!

Mitsuki: And the winner is Leila! Next to go is Kinzu and Pochi! Begin!

Kinzu: All right you over sized alligator. Time to meet your maker! Ninja centerfold! (Turns into Izumi)

Pochi: Goro! (Chases Kinzu in Izumi form)

Kinzu: That totally backfired. I'll have to do something new...like this! Bring back person who was sent into the Tuesday after next Tuesday jutsu! (Summons Izumi)

Pochi: Goro! (Rips Izumi's skirt)

Izumi: Eeeeeeee! (Runs away with Pochi chasing her)

Mitsuki: Since Pochi has left the ring, it appears that Kinzu is the winner! Our next battle is berween Ruler and Sasuke. Fight!

Ruler: No screwing around. Take this! (Shoots a pillow from his bow at Sasuke)

Sasuke: Ha! (Catches pillow) Fire flower jutsu!

Ruler: Literal meaning jutsu!

Sasuke: What the...? (fire balls turn into little flaming flowers) How in the world!

Ruler: Now your finished! (Big dramatic drum roll) Cut that crap out! Ahem...anyway, die! (Whacks Sasuke so hard he crashes through the floor)

Mitsuki: And the victor of this match is...Ruler! Now we have a face-off between Senri and Nightshade. Begin!

Senri: ...

Nightshade: So who's going to make the first move?

Senri: ...(charges with bear arm and pillow)

Nightshade: Bad mistake. (Does an upward kick, sending Senri high flying) Petrifying pillow poke! (Pokes Senri with his pillow 1479 times)

Senri: Ugh... (lands with large thud and evil arm cramp)

Mitsuki: And the winner of this round is Nightshade! And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...the third round!

Bender: You mean they didn't just call the lottery number 693? Crap!

Mitsuki: The match that will lead off the new round will be between Nightshade and Ruler. Battle!

Leila: Hiya! (Swings pillow at Nightshade)

Nightshade: (ducks) My, aren't we hasty? Say goodbye to your victory, as well as your dignity. (Smashes pillow very forcefully into Leila's stomach)

Leila: Darn, I knew I should have worn my thick jacket. Uhn...

Mitsuki: And this one goes hands down to Nightshade! Let's see if Kinzu and Ruler can recreate that display!

Ruler: Sorry to do this to you, but your going down.

Kinzu: Heh. Let's just see about that. Shadow clone jutsu!

Ruler: (thought cam) Hmm...there's only 3 of them, giving me a 33 chance of hitting the real one...

Nightshade: (thought cam) Kinzu's got this figured out...he's planned his moves perfectly.

Zhookshen: (thought cam) I like cheese...I think I'm in a field of yellow...

Kinzu: Hah! (Comes from underground)

Ruler: What the! Gaaaah! (Is hit by Kinzu's surprise attack)

Mitsuki: And the winner of this round is Kinzu! We will now be moving on to the grand finale, the final battle between Nightshade and Kinzu, two brothers who have been fighting to get to the top! Start your engines!

Nightshade: Now we decide which one of us is stronger!

Kinzu: Bring. It. On! (Charges)

Nightshade: Yaaaaaah! (charges)

Whaaaaaaammm!

Nightshade: Urg!

Kinzu: Ack!

Mitsuki: Oh and it looks like they're in the heat of battle, completely tied!

Kinzu: Your pretty good.

Nightshade: Same to you. I don't think any winner is going to come out of this fight.

Kinzu: Oh really? Look behind you.

Nightshade: Huh? (Looks to see Izumi with pochi hot on her heels)

Kinzu: Made you- urg! (Is hit by rampaging Pochi)

Nightshade: Holy...! (is hit by Izumi)

Izumi: Oh! I'm with Nightshade-kun...(blushes)

Mitsuki: It's impossible to tell who is winning through all this smoke! Wait, wait...it's clearing...(smoke clears to reveal Kinzu unconscious with Pochi laid out flat behind him and Nightshade unconscious with Izumi clining to him) And there you have it! A tie!

Bender: Nuts! And just when I thought I'd won that bet...

Mitsuki: Tune in next time for more surprises!

Ruler: A little help here? I can't pry Izumi off Nightshade with a crobar...