Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter/Wizarding World. They were all created by the genius that is J.K. Rowling.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who's reading and reviewing and even those who aren't. I'm glad that you're enjoying my story.

Chapter 7: So Far Away

The days leading up to Christmas were uneventful and eventful at the same time. It might have been a contradiction in its self but when you're celebrating festivities with the Weasley's anything was possible. Harry and Ron never returned to the subject of what Ron should or shouldn't have done in the Prefect Bathroom with Lavender, and Harry didn't go out of his way to try to discuss it. He was quite sure that if he was told any more details he'd never be able to look at Ron or Lavender the same again. Fred and George were another matter altogether. They might not know the details of their youngest brother's latest folly; however they'd taken to calling him the dreaded 'Won-Won' every time an opportunity presented itself. Ginny was completely miserable and didn't care who knew it, she hated Fleur and was now having to share her room with her and Hermione. Hermione wasn't so bad they'd grown accustomed to that sleeping arrangement long ago and they were after all friends. When Fleur wasn't fawning over Bill she was raving about how wonderful Christmases in France were. Hermione was sure Ginny missed Dean and that was the reason she was on edge about everything after all she found Fleur perfectly lovely. Of course she would never let Mrs. Weasley or Ginny hear that. Mrs. Weasley was still mourning the loss of Percy as a member of the family. There were times when she could ignore it but when her family was surrounding her it was hard not to think of what it would be like if he was there. Harry himself was having a difficult time too it hadn't hit him until Hermione, Ginny, and Fleur were decorating the living room. It was then that he remembered Christmas the previous year in Grimmauld Place with Sirius. He'd been so happy that they were spending the holidays with him, so much in fact he'd went through the house singing carols and decorated every room. That was the last happy memory Harry had of his godfather. Harry missed Sirius desperately, he'd been like a father, a brother, and a best friend all rolled into one and his loss was still at times unbearable.

Hermione had been helping Mrs. Weasley in the kitchen when she saw Harry walking around in the garden. She didn't have to see his face to know that he was upset; she didn't have to ask what was bothering him. After excusing herself she bundled up to go out in the frigid weather. She walked up to him and took his hand in her own and led him towards the orchard so they could be alone. "I'm okay really. You should go back inside it's freezing out here." He said looking down at her.

"When will you learn that anything I do for you it's not because I feel obligated?" she asked.

"Probably a time or two more," Harry smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"You're holding up better than I expected you to." She said.

"I miss him, I just didn't realize how much until now I guess. There are times when we're at Hogwarts and I expect owls from him that don't come. Or something happens and he's the first person I want to tell. Like when you told me you love me, my first thought was to tell Sirius. But being here with the Christmas decorations and the music it makes it harder. I remember how happy he was that we were with him last year. How sad he became when time drew closer for us to go back to school and how withdrawn he became."

"That's to be expected Harry." Hermione said running her gloved hand over his cheek. "He might not be here physically but you know he's watching over you, Him and your parents."

Harry nodded as he pressed a kiss to her palm. "I just…have so much I want to say to them." He said his brow wrinkled his green eyes watery with tears.

"I believe they can hear you." She said.

"Think so?" he asked.

"Mhm….Christmas Magic and all." She said with a smile.

"I don't think I've heard of that branch of magic. Do they offer courses on how to tap into it?" he teased.

"No, it's a special magic it can't be harnessed."

"Well then it's defiantly worth looking into." He said.

Hermione leaned up and kissed him softly, "I love you Harry."

"I love you too, My Hermione." He said.

She gave him a small smile, "I am going to go back into the house and when you want to talk you can find me."

Harry nodded and watched her, his eyes not leaving her until she was safely inside. He knew that she was giving him the opportunity to get everything off of his chest. Things he needed to say without anyone listening, he set down on a stone bench and folded his hands together. At first he wasn't sure what he was going to do. He felt foolish talking when nobody was there to speak back to him. "I miss you Sirius." He said quietly after a long pause. "There are some mornings that I wake up and I forget that you're not here anymore. The first week after you went behind the veil and I was back on Privet Drive, I'd wake up and look at the calendar on my wall and think two more weeks until I can go to Grimmauld Place and see you. Then I would remember what happened that night, I don't blame myself anymore it took a long time to stop doing that. Dumbledore helped me realize what I already knew. You wanted to help the Order and that's who you are, ever the black sheep in the Black family. There's so much that has happened and I wish you were here so I could talk to you about it. Dumbledore's been showing me what I need to know to defeat Voldemort and to be honest I don't even know where to begin. I'm scared that I'm going to fail him, that I'm going to fail everyone. There are so many counting on me and I'm just a kid. What if I fuck this up? What scares me most is Hermione; I've loved that girl since we were 11 years old. And when she looks at me and I feel like I am The Chosen One andthat I can defeat Voldemort with both hands tied behind my back with no wand. I think that I'm more afraid of letting her down than anyone else. I just wish you were here to tell me what to do."

Harry let out a slow uneven breath as he wiped tears from his eyes. At first he wasn't sure if he felt better or worse after his 'talk with Sirius'. He set there on the bench for a while; he wasn't exactly sure how long to be honest. Long enough that his whole body was numb from the cold, by the time he managed to peal himself off of the bench and stiffly made his way back to the house. Hermione was standing at the door her coat in one hand her boots in the other. "Blimey Harry!" she gasped when he pulled the door open and nearly plowed into her.

It was nearly an hour later before Harry was able to get a moment alone with Hermione. This was only after he'd been thoroughly fussed after by Mrs. Weasley and scolded for staying out in the cold for so long. "I really didn't know how long I'd been out there." Harry said to Hermione once they were alone.

"I was really worried; I was coming to look for you." She said.

Harry kissed her slowly his hand sinking into her hair. "Thank you." He said.