Reno: Hey, hey yo! Yeah, you! Why you gotta make our lives so tough?
Arien: Reno, isn't it obvious? She hates us.
Redhead: Yeah, I do hate you, Arien. I wanted Reno for myself, dammit! Now shuddup and go away.
Anyways... I have five more chapters written out, and boy are their lives miserable or what? Gehehehehe (seems to be happy about it)
EternallyJinxed: I agree with you there. Even in BC we don't get enough Reno, dammit! (Slams her fist on the table) But that, in a way, is good, because the writers get more leeway of portraying him. I've seen Reno as a heartless killer, lovesick fool, an annoying coworker, e.t.c. and they all seem to fit him in a way. Either way, I ain't complainin'.
Devil-Angel: Aw come on, Tseng gotta come off the stiff (excuse the pun) sometime! He can't be always obsessive-compulsive clean/workaholic, and here waltzes Elena, who's an eyecatcher. Originally I was going to hook up Elena and Reno, but I could almost hear the fans going "that's not canon..." so I decided against it.
cookiekitten: Thanks for da cookie, man! (Obviously I speak fluent ghetto-speak... I suck at it) Anyways, please keep on reading, because their situation is going to get worse... and worse... and worse... It's all Hojo's fault. Yes, the reason the sky is blue? Hojo's fault. Why Sephiroth is such a hottie? Maybe not Hojo's fault... umm...
nuu: They did! Not a very big fat clue, though. President isn't going to be too happy with the results. Oh well. Reno can care less, right? The SHM are going to play a medium role in this, but not as much Kadaj as Yazoo... or Lozoo, combining Yazoo and Loz... man, I'm smart. (ahem) I felt sorry for Yazoo, cuz he didn't get his own scene that much!
RaspberryPolarBear: LOL. I completely forgot about that scene, which also happens to be my favorite, until last chapter! It's supposed to occur when Arien is gone, out to rescue Tseng and Elena... did I remember on time? Of course not. Yeah, Elena got L.A.I.D. the night before. I bet Reno made fun of her. He seems to be the kind to know these things and make fun of it. Bastard.
ODST girl058: Reno did not find beer. Arien and the spider... we'll see. Let's hope not. Elephadunk is a Japanese name for one of the monsters in FFVII, and I was too lazy to look up the English version. I read it in a ZaxSeph doujin, and I thought it was funny, so I used it. If you want to read the doujin, please message me and I'll send it. It was hilarious.
NarcissisticRiceball: Reno. Is. A. Pervert. And that's an understatement right there. I'm amazed we don't find Reno's illegitimate sons and daughters everywhere; I expected Scarlet and Reno's kid to pop up, and then I thought I didn't even want to think about the kid. Imagine... Scarlet and Reno as your parents. OH MY GOD! He's curbing his appetite with his gf, though. Yes, with that.
Chapter 15: Ghosties and Spidies and Babies
The entrance, luckily, was in the tunnel, not under Elephie's (Arien had suddenly remembered the name of the elephadunk slide) nose. Repainted yellow, it looked even more comical than before, when it was green. It was 11:00 PM, and the Turks were trying to enter the crypts. Reno and Tseng were pulling on the trapdoor handle with all their might, but it was not budging. Finally, Reno gave up.
"That thing," he said in disgust, "is stuck." He glared at his girlfriend as if it was her fault.
"It's not my fault," Arien replied defensively as she put the crypt map away with care. "I've never been in the crypts before."
Elena, who was examining the trapdoor, stood up as she dusted off her knees. "It's glued," she announced.
"Glued?"
"Yes. The trio must have glued it down."
"Why?"
"I don't know, Reno! I'm not them."
The four sighed in exasperation. The silver-haired trio was like gnats on a hot day. They had been at this for more than an hour, and they were a little annoyed at them. Finally, Reno stretched. "I guess it's my turn, yo."
"What are you going to do?" Elena asked, suspicious.
"Don't ask Daddy Reno to tell his tricks, then it won't be a trick anymore." He whirled and wiggled his fingers. "Arie, lighter."
She pulled out a cheap lighter from her inner breast pocket and placed it in his hand. Reno acutely felt the ring on her finger, her eyes, inquiring, waiting. Her expression was serious and expectant. Adjusting the cigarette dangling from his mouth, he sat down on the sandy ground with legs crossed, then gestured the others to do the same.
"This might take a while."
He cut the rope free from the trapdoor handle, then used the army knife he produced from his slacks pocket to pick a thin twine from the rope. He laid the twine into the gap between the circular trapdoor and the ground, then left a small piece outside.
"Does anyone else have a lighter?" He asked, producing his own. It was a cheap one, costing him about five gils. Tseng produced his Zippo lighter; Elena had a cheap one like himself. He expertly pried off the top of his lighter, then emptied the liquid into the gap. It soaked the twine.
"Yup, not enough," he muttered. He removed the inner part of the Zippo from the shell, then picked out the cotton ball that was soaked in the lighter fluid. He squeezed it, and the fluid trickled down the gap, soaking the twine even more. But it was not enough to go around all the way. Returning the inner part to the outer shell then closing the lid, he tossed the lighter back to Tseng. He picked up Elena's and Arien's, pried the tops off, then poured the liquid down the gap. Now the twine was completely soaked.
"Matches," he whispered. Elena threw a book of matches at him. He caught it and lit one, then carefully transferred the small flame onto the dry part of the twine which was sticking out from the gap. The twine began to burn.
Wiping his hands on a small towel that Arien produced from her pocket, he lit another match and dropped it on the towel. The towel began to burn as well.
"God, it smells awful," Elena muttered.
"Yeah, towel, twine and glue. Great combo," he grinned as he tossed the book of matches back to Elena. She caught it, replaced it in her pocket. A phone rang; the four dived for their pockets, but Reno happened to be the winner. He flipped his phone open with a flourish and spoke into it.
"Reno here." He paused, listening, then grinned. "Hey, partner. Whassup, yo. Why are you guys still up… oh." He looked at the watch. "Yeah. They're here, yo." Reno listened again. "Yeah. Found nothing at Gold Saucer. We're in Wutai. We're gonna go into the crypts." He listened more. "Yeah. I can use your muscles just about now, yo. Too bad you ain't here." Reno's lanky frame was barely visible in the darkness. He kicked up the sand and said, "Okay, yo. I'll tell them that. Talk to ya later." He shut the small phone and slid it back into the pocket.
"Rufus's saying to hurry the fuck up," Reno informed. "Rude didn't sound too happy. Bet being stuck with the prez alone is not an easy job."
"Thank you," Arien muttered.
The small towel turned into ashes; Reno scattered the charred grey powder into the sand as the flame circled around the trapdoor. When it reached the end, it sizzled and died.
"Okay, let's try again."
Reno tied the rope on the handle once more, and then pulled. The door opened easily.
"Reno, untie the rope."
Reno obeyed, then threw the rope onto the ground. He took a deep breath and jumped in smoothly, arms raised above his head; Arien followed, then Elena. Tseng tied the rope onto the latch and pulled onto the rope while falling; the trapdoor shut with a clang. He tugged on it a little more, and the rope fell onto the floor. They stood still for a while, huddled together, as their eyes started to get used to the darkness. Nightvisions started to kick in, and Arien squinted as she started to see the surroundings in full light.
Arien, having the best vision, was decided to be in the lead. Tseng was next, then Elena, and then Reno, bringing up the rear.
"There's absolutely nothing interesting," Arien announced as she marched on.
"Hey, Arie, you have something on your head," Reno noted. "It's big, and it has long legs, and… yeah, it's a spid…"
"YARRRRRGH!" Arien screamed so loudly that Reno, who had the best hearing, winced visibly. "Ew! Oh my god, get it off get it off!"
"I was joking, yo," Reno replied mildly as Arien stopped grabbing at the top of her head and glared at him. He tried to smile innocently as she continued to glare, and silently thought that if looks could kill, he would be dead and buried by now.
"Reno, stop fooling around," Tseng ordered exasperatedly. "This is an assignment."
"Yes sirrrr."
The ball of yarn Elena had purchased earlier in the day was now marking their progress in a colorful green. Shoes scuffed up the dry sand that carpeted the crypt floor. The four marched on, each taking their easiest stance for a long march. Reno was slightly slouched, EMR on one shoulder, his other arm touching the walls. Elena and Tseng both had their guns at the ready. Arien had her gunblade pointed, finger on the trigger. Reno's hand, brushed against something. It rattled, and dropped onto the floor.
"What was that?" Reno asked, squinting.
"Oh…" Arien looked back grinning. "Be careful, there are skeletons strung about."
"Skeletons!" Reno's hand shot back to the pocket faster than light.
"They're guardians of the crypts," Tseng explained. "The royals and the priests are buried here. The skeletons are the ninjas', assigned to protect the dead from…" Tseng stopped. Arien took a step forward, then stopped as well. Elena crashed into Tseng. Reno peered over the shoulders to see what was going on.
"Weapons, out," Tseng ordered. "Now." Arien's face was no longer wearing the joking face, but had a serious expression; her teeth were clenched, and her eyes were wider.
"Sir, will it really work…?" Arien asked dubiously, unholstering her gunblades.
"Wait, what?" Reno asked.
"Nothing," Arien replied tensely.
"There is something. What?"
"Nothing. Reno, be quiet." Tseng jostled Arien aside angrily. "Let me go in front."
With that slight altercation, the four marched on. But as they got closer and closer to the main burial chamber, Tseng started to turn pale. Sweat appeared on his forehead, and it looked like he was battling something invisible. His steps faltered; his breathing became labored and choppy, as if he was running miles. Arien was faring a little better; she was grimacing as if she had a severe headache, and her steps were a little slower, but she was normal otherwise.
They turned left at the fork, then right at the next fork. Reno could not see it clearly, but he could discern a vague outline of a large door.
"It's going to be locked," Elena muttered.
Tseng managed to walk to the door alone without assistance. By the time they were a few steps away from the doors, Arien was starting to sweat as well.
"I'd fight the living any day," Arien muttered, "but not the dead." She looked feverish.
The doors were double, tall, dark and ominous through and through. By this time Tseng was ready to keel over, and Arien could not walk straight. Tseng tried to put his hand on the doorknob, but no longer could. Reno raised a curious eyebrow.
"What's wrong, yo? You two look like you saw some ghost…" he tried the door, and discovered it was locked.
"Hey, it's locked."
Tseng slumped onto the floor, leaning onto the wall. Arien leaned onto the wall as well.
"Arie? Hairpin."
It looked like she was pulling out her hairpin with great difficulty. Slowly, a hand was raised; it took a pin out of the ponytail, then slowly came down. Reno had to walk over and grasp the pin out of her hand; he felt the cold flesh, sweating and clammy. Something was wrong. Arien did not sweat with spiders; she just screamed like a girl. And it took a lot to make Tseng look like that.
He expertly jammed the hairpin into the keyhole, glad that it was a very primitive lock. With a few wiggles and the tumblers turning, the lock opened with a small snick. Reno was about to open the door when Tseng and Arien both screamed, "No!"
"What?"
"Don't open the door," Arien said through gritted teeth.
"Jeez, what the hell's wrong with you two?" Reno sneezed as the dust danced in the air.
"Can't you feel it?"
"Feel what?"
"Arien…" Tseng muttered through gritted teeth. "He doesn't… believe. He can't… feel it."
"Feel what?" Reno repeated again.
"Open the door," Tseng ordered feebly, struggling to stand up.
"Thanks," Reno replied, and opened the door. He hooked the rope dangling from the wooden frame of the door onto the door, keeping it open.
Reno did not feel it first. The two Wutaians did. As soon as the four entered the doorway, both Turks felt something infinitely malicious toward them, charging. Tseng was the first to pull on the trigger, and mako-tipped bullets scattered in the air.
"Tseng! What the hell are you doing!" Reno screamed, as all he saw was Tseng shooting at the air. However, Tseng could see quite clearly the corporeal forms of the spectral guardians charging. Elena saw a white piece of paper on one of the biers, and stuffed it in her pocket.
"Arrgh!" Reno screamed as parallel lines of scarlet were drawn on his left cheek. "What the fucking hell!" He swung around his EMR haphazardly, unable to see the enemies. Elena was backing against the wall; already she had cuts on her arms. Arien was screaming as she pulled on the trigger, and Elena saw Tseng falling to the ground like he was sinking through jelly.
"Tseng!" Elena shrieked, and the two other Turks turned away from the attackers.
"Reno! Grab Tseng and get the hell out of here!" Arien shouted. "We're gonna die here! Let's go!"
"What about the mission!" Elena shouted.
"Forget it! Arien, take rear! Elena! Take lead!"
Elena dashed out of the burial chamber; Reno grabbed Tseng, hoisted the man like a burlap bag, and sprinted. Arien ran out the door, then shot at the rope holding the door open. The door shut with a loud bang.
Elena and Reno were still running. Arien followed, acutely aware of the spectral guardians charging at her. She was not sensitive enough to see the guardians as Tseng probably did, but she could feel them like breezes. She shot randomly, hoping that the bullets will cause damage. It seemed to halt them, but not damage them enough to stop them completely.
She ran backwards clumsily, unable to watch the line on the ground and the attacking ghosts at once. She was too far gone into the maze of the crypts when she realized that she could no longer hear the footsteps of her colleagues.
"Crap," she said out loud.
The guardians advanced, looming. She felt her skin tear on her forehead. Then another rip at her forearm. Another at her back.
They were closing in.
Due to adrenaline, she was losing blood fast. Her vision was getting dimmer, slowly; another rip at her shin. This time she screamed in pain. It felt like her body was being torn into pieces. Another attack, this time at her head. She ducked, just in time.
Was she going to die here, butchered?
The spectral guardians were toying with her. She knew that. They could have finished her off in a spit second; one attack at her throat and she would be dead.
Oh god. She was losing the feeling in her feet. She was wobbling; she couldn't heal herself, she couldn't do the maneuvers that triggered the magic!
Oh god. Oh my god. Was she actually going to end here? Was this going to be her end? Butchered like meat?
She backed on step, and shrieked in pain as a large gash appeared on her back. She wasn't a big fan of pain. She could not move her arm; it felt like her muscles were torn. She could not breathe well either. She was falling, falling onto the ground. Another attack, at her face. She could do nothing. She was going to die…
"No! I did not come here to die!" she shouted, but the shout came out as a hoarse croak. But what was the use? She was going to die. One Turk against fifty spectral guardians was already a known match even before the gong rang. The Turk lost, of course.
So when she saw the next scene, she did not believe her eyes.
Something shifted from her body, like a second self. Except that it was quite distinctively silver; not the silverish hue of Sephiroth's hair, but a very metallic silver. It looked like a robot; the contours of the face was not very clear. Contours of the mouth and the nose, then eyes, vividly red, holes cut in the silver and gleaming. The body was svelte, silver with reddish cast on the metal itself. No nuts held the metal together, no screws. The feet had rotational hinges at the ankles, as did the shoulders and the elbows and the wrists. The metallic skin was smooth, no decorations.
"What the…"
The – thing? What exactly was that? – barely touched the wall, and the wall shattered.
No. It did not shatter. Shattering meant splinters everywhere. It just… dissipated. And she could see the next room.
What exactly was this thing?
The robot made an annoying gesture, as if urging her to stand up. She could barely stand, and she wearily leaned onto the robot, feeling the cold metal against her exposed skin, or what was left of it.
Another dissipation. Then another. They advanced, slowly, as Arien could not walk fast, and the spectral guardians followed, quite unwilling to challenge the newcomer that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. It was a slow trek, blood spilling everywhere. Her fingertips were numb.
Step, by step, by step.
The fourth dissipation was the last, as she could feel the breeze from the outside as the hole suddenly appeared. She was at the base of the mountains, and she could see the nightscape outside. Her vision was going dim again. Arien took the last step to the outside, vaguely hearing the wailing screams of the spectral guardians, as if they hit an invisible wall and could not go beyond.
The metallic thing vanished; Arien, lying on the ground, her body nearly in pieces, managed to get out her cell phone and press the number 4, the speed dial to Reno's cell.
"Arie! Where the hell are you! You're starting to piss me off! If you think this is funny…"
"I'm… at the… base of… the moun…tain," she replied feebly. She could no longer talk; the world was spinning around her, and she had to close her eyes. Then the world was spinning away from her, and she was alone, all alone, in the darkness.
"Arien! Arien!" Reno was screaming through the phone! "Arie!"
No reply.
"Arien! Goddamn it!" Reno screamed. "ARIEN!"
"Hello?" Myers picked up the phone groggily. It was two in the morning; who in the world would be calling?
"Myers, it's Reno."
He remembered his daughter's boyfriend. Lanky creature with a mess of crimson hair and vivid aquamarine eyes who never really learned how to dress. A man – or a boy? – with a crooked smile and slender, deft fingers.
"What can I do for you, Reno? As you can see, it's quite late in the night…"
"Do you know a doctor I can trust?"
"A doctor?" Myers was fully awake now. "Is Arien alright?"
"Yes, well, no." A pause. "Actually, she's not okay. She needs a doctor as soon as possible."
"I do know one doctor; he knows Arien as well." Myers recited the address and the phone number of the doctor. "What happened…"
Click. Myers stared at the now silent telephone. Reno was gone.
The doctor was in his mid-fifties, with a kind face and glasses. Reno had to bring the old man to where Arien was; moving her was beyond him, not because he was tired, but because she was nearly in pieces. With one look, the doctor began his work of bandaging the young woman.
"How on earth did this happen?" The doctor – his name was Nagatsuki – asked to no one in particular. "No knife can make cuts like this."
"Doc, please, no questions," Reno snapped.
"She needs to be hospitalized."
"Doc, I don't even know how the hell to move her."
"Oh, don't worry, she's knocked out." Dr. Nagatsuki assured the redhead. "Carry her princess style. She needs a clean bed and proper medical attention now."
Both Tseng and Arien were hospitalized; Arien was in the ICU. Reno stayed outside the room, sitting on the bench, waiting for news. Elena was with Tseng. Finally, a doctor – not Dr. Nagatsuki, but someone younger – came out.
"She's fine; she lost blood, but you saved her," he informed. Reno nodded. He had given blood to her without hesitation when a doctor came out and announced that she needed blood transfusion.
"I have another news," the doctor continued. "We checked her blood pressure, the works, seems perfectly fine. Except…"
"Except?"
"Did you know she was pregnant?"
Reno stopped his hand from pulling out a cell phone. "She's what?"
"She's pregnant. We checked her blood, and she's tested positive for pregnancy."
"Er…" Reno had no clue what to say. This was quite sudden; he did not really expect himself to be a father ever.
"Pregnant?" Reno repeated dumbly.
"Yes. Two months, into her third. She's about to finish her first trimester soon."
"Um…" The latter sentence was just plain gibberish to him.
"You'll be able to see her when she wakes up. She's sleeping right now," the doctor informed. Just then, the door opened and the nurses wheeled the bed to the direction of the elevator. Arien seemed to be calm and peaceful, with her hair unbound and falling about her shoulders. Her breathing was steady, the chest rising then falling like a steady beat of the metronome.
Reno tried to stand up and follow, and discovered he couldn't.
Arien, pregnant? He was going to become a father?
Impossible.
He was dazed and confused, and felt like he was in a dream.
Or was he?
He absently rubbed the tattoo on his left cheek. Then scratched his head.
Well, whatever was going to happen, he was not going to turn into Leon II. No way.
