Uh, hi. Between FIFA World Cup, having yet another fight with my boyfriend, getting scared witlessby Sephiroth fangirls who claim to have been impregnated by the pixelated world-doomer, my mind is a mess. I'm trying, though.
I definitely do not own the song "Every You Every Me" by Placebo. My boyfriend owns the CD and I loved the song. But Placebo, if you're reading this, please give me that song.
RaspberryPolarBear - Arien's pregnant! Apparently they didn't use protection. Bad girl! At least she didn't get an STD. With that steady flow of ladies through Reno's bed as we usually assume, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a library of STD's in his body. Actually, now to come and think about it, I don't want to think about it. I have a feeling that he'll be a bf in denial. Good luck in exams!
grea - I really don't have any clue. Do Turks have maternity leaves? Does anyone know? I think it'll be awfully mean if Rufus said "No DeVir, no maternity leave, now do the famous Turk flip Vincent did when he came out of the coffin and go FETCH ME VODKA, I'm THIRSTY!" (I don't think Rufus would say it like that). Anyways, I dunno. Probably. Let's hope she does.
ODST Girl058 - I'm actually surprised Arien's fetus survived. (Is amazed, despite she's the writer). I'm not sure what you missed either, was there anything that didn't make sense? I'd offer you explanations if I knew what you were talking about... I wasn't really sane when I wrote the last chapter, as it might have been obvious. I was high on three McFlurries and the attempt to clog my arteries.
CookieKitten - probably something not good, concerning that nothing ever goes right for our Miss. DeVir. Man, I feel sorry for her. She has such a miserable life. (Ignores Arien's screams demanding her to give the Turk better lives then) Heh. Anyways, what will happen next? We have two possible outcomes: A, Reno rejoicing that he's a father, B, boyfriend in denial.
NarcissisticRiceball - God forbid that it's going to be a boy. I don't even want to imagine it. Reno's probably going to teach him as much social evils as he can. I don't really see Reno as a homey guy with barbecue outside and baseball and kids going "Daddy I wanna go to the zoo" and Reno going "Okay, let's have mummy pack lunch and let's go."
SoratheDarkness - HEY! I know you from somewhere! I just can't remember where. Maybe it's my hallucination. Anyways, glad you like the fic. I hope it makes sense without going too much into C'Est La Vie. I hate it when an ongoing series is based so much on the previous fic so that I have to go read it, because most of the time it's about as long as Sephiroth's sword. Hope this isn't the case.
Leah - As you may have recalled, Leon's the ambivalent father of our very anti-hero hero. (Reno as a HERO! Ha) Basically, Leon loves Reno as his son, but Reno wasn't strong when he was a little kid, so daddy went a little hard on the poor kid. Reno thinks Leon hates him, and he hates Leon, and is currently vowing not to become the tyrannical father Leon was. Arien knows the truth, though.
Okay. If you're interested, the Placebo song was played in the beginning of Cruel Intentions. The lyrics are dramatically out of order. What's even more interesting, I see a lot of similarities between our young Sebastian Valmont and Reno. I know, it's not exactly canon to define Reno as a womanizing, booze-guzzling slob, but it's never said in FFVII that he's not, so there.
Oh, just to inform: there is a touchy subject of abortion mentioned in this chapter, as well as sexual orientation. I am not criticizing anybody with what is said in this chapter. Please understand that. I know you'll probably understand that without me saying anything, but just to make sure.
Chapter 16: A Known Epiphany
Reno raised his hand to knock on the door, then paused. Arien was like nitroglycerin that had not been turned into dynamite. One small touch and it went boom.
He absently hummed a song as he paused, wondering if he should enter or not.
"Arien."
"Go away."
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind...
Yes, there was the sum of the relationship right there. Initially, Reno had tried to seduce the Turk into his bed, have fun, then leave. The usual routine. He wasn't nice. He pretty much broke girls' hearts and left them behind.
In the shape of things to come.
Too much poison come undone.
Yeah. This poison was a little too much. Although he had succeeded in snaring Arien into his web, he made one fatal mistake; he became snared in hers as well.
I serve my head up on the plate,
It's only comfort, calling late...
Yes. With this pregnancy, he indeed had his head on the plate. Reno also had a feeling that if he didn't come in, Arien would surely explode. If he did enter, she might explode.
Reno chose to take the chance to live.
"Aaa-rien." He called in a sing-song voice.
"Fuck off."
"Arie."
"Go away!" came back the sharp reply. "I'm in pain, my back was nearly torn in two, I don't know what's going on, why are there people checking on me when they say I'm perfectly fine? Just get the fuck away from me, Reno."
"Jee, sorry I asked." Reno made noises as if he was walking away. Then…
"Wait!" Arien's voice chased after him. "Actually, come in here. Please?"
Reno grinned to himself, then turned the doorknob and opened the door. The frosted glass provided the sign that she was up; the light was on, and the soft beams fell onto the floor. Arien was up; the bed was raised a little so she could sit slightly upright. Her hair was matted; she had not washed her hair for a day now. She looked like half a mummy, her arms and her body bandaged. She managed a small smile as he closed the door behind him. "How ya feelin'?"
"In pain, but that's a given." She would have shrugged, except that her shoulders were bandaged as well. "I'm sorry I'm acting a bitch, but it's really painful." She looked at him, his tired face, the bags under his eyes. He wasn't wearing his jacket, and he had to duck to enter the door. Reno wasn't tall, but the doorway was small. His face that seemed to mock the world, the chain around his neck that was linked to the matching ring on her finger, the constant red mark around his right wrist because of the wristband attached to the EMR… everything was familiar to her.
"Forget it," he said, in annoyance.
"Reno."
"Just forget it. I'm not trash, as you seem to make out."
"Reno… I'm sorry. I really am." Yeah, he believed it. Her eyes were saying that she was. Oh, she wasn't crying. But it was saying a lot. One more push.
"I'm not trash!"
"Reno, I don't go out with trashes, okay?"
"Tell me you want me."
"We've gone through this conversation." She sighed.
"Fine." He turned as if he was going.
"Wait." He stopped. It was almost a game; lovers' gambit. "Please stay with me."
"Erm…" He pretended to think for a minute. "No."
"Please?"
"You gotta hold your side of the bargain," he reminded, grinning as she was driven into the corner.
"Okay… I want you. There. Now, will you stay with me?" She did not sound sincere at all as she completed her side of the bargain.
"Fine, fine." He pulled up a chair and sat down beside the bed, taking her left hand. He caressed it gently, feeling the supple skin underneath his fingertips. "Hey, Arie, we need to talk."
"If it's about me being a bitch, I don't need to know, alright? I know I'm being a bitch to you right now, and I wish I didn't, but I can't stop myself." She spoke like she was having a war with words.
"It's not, although I can go on about it, yo." He grinned, but then his expression became serious, and Arien mentally started to calculate the chances of the break-up. Oh great. First nearly being torn into pieces, now breaking up with her boyfriend of two years – three years? – and counting. And Reno made sure that she still wanted him. Wanted him?
No. She loved him. Goddamn it. She wasn't sure she wanted to. Love him, that is.
Life just plain sucked. The world wasn't fair. And Rufus was going to be pissed at her for being injured. Who knows, she might even get laid off. For a second she wished that Sephiroth had actually gone through with his "let's smash up the world because I hate it" plan; it sounded graind, andif he went through with the plan,she wouldn't be here. Hell, no one would be here. In fact, if she could, she would have smashed up the world that instant as well. Her sister was dead, she killed her, everyone else around her were being happy getting married and having kids, and here she was, about to be announced the separation, sick, injured, and with probably no job within a few weeks.
Shall she just go die now? That might have been a little easier.
Oh wait. She couldn't even move. Her gunblades, along with her cell phone and her ID, were on the bedside table, and she couldn't even move to reach them. What she wanted to do right there and then was to howl in frustration.
Reno watched in amusement as Arien's expression turned from suspicion to anger to frustration. It was almost like looking at a kaleidoscope.
"Arie?"
She could not speak, so her eyes replied instead, urging him to continue.
"Did you know you were pregnant?"
Arien's thought process halted with an angry screech of the tires. Arien was speechless. She just stared at him.
Then it started to make sense, like pieces of a puzzle coming together to make a coherent picture. Her lack of "the time of the month" for two months wasn't really due to Geostigma. And that weird dream about how she was an egg. Well, maybe that was just a coincidence. But still.
"Looks like you had clues," Reno mused. Arien sighed. Okay, it wasn't as bad as she had expected, but she did have a constant fear of little Reno running around someday. One Reno was a handful. Two Reno's… were going to be a nightmare.
She did have the misfortune to have a little Reno running around after Hojo's experiment gone wrong. And she was not willing to repeat the experience. Besides, Reno had this incomprehensible desire to massacre the children upon the planet. She never really figured out why, but that was how it went. Reno a loving father? She choked down a mirthless laughter. It was unthinkable. Hell, Reno would not even make a loving husband. They were partners as Turks. They lived together. They were lovers. The end.
She sometimes wondered what the hell she did before this life to earn herself such a guy as her partner. Probably something extremely sinful. Bad karma.
But… could she kill this infant? More than that, could she handle an abortion? And… she had to ask this question to herself, although she did not want to… could she so readily kill the child of a man she loved?
You killed so many who were children, siblings, spouses, friends. They were loved too.
She tried to get rid of the guilty conscience. But she couldn't. She felt like she was killing the redhead himself by choosing to abort the fetus. This child was a part of Reno.
Okay, she admitted. She did want to have this kid. But…
She was a Turk, her loyalties lay in, well, Rufus. She still didn't like him, but that was where her loyalties lay.
"Well, what are we gonna do?"
"I don't kno… we?" She looked at him in surprise, her eyes opening wider. "We?"
"Yeah. We." Reno looked back at her, his aquamarine eyes puzzled. "What?"
"Well, I thought…" she stopped. "Never mind."
"Hey, it's my kid too, for good or worse," Reno admitted casually, as if they were talking about Wutaian lunch, not a new life. "Unless you've been sleeping with another dude, but knowing you, that's unlikely. Now if I was a broad…"
"Then the child would have many fathers," Arien cracked a small smile.
"Yeah. Do you wanna have this kid?" He inquired. "I mean, it's up to ya."
"I don't know," she replied honestly. "I honestly don't know. To tell you the truth, I kind of do want the child, but you can't raise a kid with 'kind of' attitude, you know? And…"
"And what, yo?"
"Do you realize that we have to be more committed to each other? We can't so readily break up with a kid."
"Yeah, well, we can think about that if the time comes." Reno shrugged nonchalantly.
"You don't really give a damn, do you?"
"I do, but it's up to you." Reno stood up, and leaned over, his upper body hovering over her head. "I'm not jumping up and down and going crazy over this, but if you wanna have this kid, go for it. We'll raise the kid together. Can't be too sure if the kid'll be a functional adult…"
"Yes, I can see where you're coming from. I don't see a functional adult in front of me."
"What the hell do you mean, yo!" Reno demanded.
"Let's see," she replied, looking abnormally serious and pensive. "Trigger-happy, insane, unstable, sporadic, yes, I call that a functional adult."
"Shut up. Anyway, if you wanna abort it, well, it's your choice. But…"
"But?"
"Never mind, yo," said Reno. Arien hid a smile. "Hey, Arie?"
"Yep?"
"Have you ever worn a wedding dress?"
She looked at him strangely. "A wedding dress?" she repeated dumbly. "Of course not. Why?"
Reno shrugged, then cackled. "Nothing, babe. Nothing."
"So… her stand awoke," said the figure, his tone interested.
"Yeah. Pretty destructive too," nodded the other. "It's fast, but it's not too strong."
"I thought you said it was destructive."
"Yeah, but it's not physically strong."
"What are… its abilities?"
"Looks like evaporation of some sort. She only did it on a hunk of rock, though, so dunno if it works on anything else."
"Either way, she'll come looking for us," the youth said, amused. "Buccierati, Narancia, and Abbachio are gone, it's only three of us from the original team, right, Fugo? But I guess we can use a new addition. What's the name?"
"Hers? DeVir, I think."
"No, the stand."
"I have no idea. She doesn't know what it exactly is, so she hasn't named it yet."
"I see…" the youth smiled in the darkness. "This is going to be interesting."
Sometimes, Arien thanked for the mako treatment she received. It gave her enough problems, such as giving her nightvision, turning her eyes freakish blue-green, but like a double-edged blade, it had merits as well. It made her – or anyone, for that matter – stronger, faster, with more stamina and faster healing. Within two days, the wounds had mended, and only thin lines of red crust of dry blood were left over her body, which would heal naturally. She wasn't in her prime condition, but she was good to go.
The weird robot thing had not shown itself since that night, and Arien was half-guessing that she had a dream. But a gnawing knowledge, that she had seen similar robots move at their masters' will in Costa del Sol, bit her doubt in the night.
"Arie," Reno called, staring at her. She woke up from her daydream; the spare set of uniform rubbed her on her shoulder, and she winced as she pulled on the unfamiliar jacket. But she felt more comfortable in her uniform.
"Uh, right. Out." She flashed a grin at him. She holstered her gunblades, pocketed the cell phone, put on her watch. The Turks uniform had as many pockets as the uniform could fit; ropes, matches, basic survival kits were hidden around their bodies. She felt the familiar weight of these things, felt that she was back to who she was. She slid her nylon-clad feet into her shoes, then stretched. She had washed her hair; it was brushed and put up in a bun.
Reno watched her, a little tired. He had stayed with her throughout the nights, and he had not slept well. The stupid chair was not comfortable, and the weird carving on the back dug into his skull every time he wanted to sleep. Well, Turks did not sleep well as a rule, and he was used to it. Besides, they were going back, bearing one message the trio had left, whatever it was. The four were too busy taking care of the injured (for Reno and Elena) and trying to heal as soon as possible to take a look at it properly.
"Reno?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for everything." He felt a light kiss on his mouth.
"You owe me big, yeah," he nodded.
"Okay, okay," she replied. "Hello, Elena," she greeted the woman waiting outside the door. "Thank you for waiting, sir."
Tseng nodded back. "Ready to go?"
The three nodded.
"Alright. Homebound."
The flight back in the VTOL was amazingly short. Unlike the previous flight when Reno and Arien were flying back to Midgar, they did not get attacked, and no one had to scream May Day.
The piece of paper Elena had found was about as informative as Cloud when he was on mako intoxication. It just said, in a scraggly, boyish handwriting, "REUNION". Rufus had heard all four's stories – and Arien didn't like it one bit that by her turn, who was the last, Rufus' expression was about as dark as midnight – Rufus called Tseng in once again.
"Oh great, now it's my ass," Tseng grumbled uncharacteristically, and stepped into Rufus' study. Rude, Elena, Reno and Arien looked at each other.
They nodded in silent agreement, and fled the room before they heard Rufus' soft voice dripping with venom beat on Tseng. Evading trouble was one part of Turks' profession, which became useful often. Like now.
"Man, Tseng can be a little creepy and shit, with his glare, but Rufus is one dude I am not gonna cross," Reno declared as the four drove away for "fresh air". Elena left a note on the table, which gave absolutely no clue as to where they were going. It just said, which Elena wrote under Reno's dictation, "going out for air. Be back soon. Turks". They did not really care if neither Rufus nor Tseng knew where they were. Going against the rules, the four had left their job cell phones under the kitchen sink, because, as Reno said, "Tseng or Rufus wouldn't dirty themselves to look under there". Elena and Reno had their "personal" cell phones in their pockets.
Reno was driving; Rude was in the passenger seat, his sunglasses perched on the top of his nose. Reno tossed the phone over to the back seat. "Ei, one of you, call someone whose we can crash at, yo. I ain't going back with Rufus feeling bitchy."
Elena picked up the phone and dialed. She listened, exchanged few words, then shut the phone. "Shiv says we can crash at his," she reported. "But only two people max."
"Yeah, well, we have four." Reno pointed out without looking back as he maneuvered through the streets. "Hey Arie, call Zen."
Arien obediently picked the phone up and dialed. After a few rings, Zen's familiar voice picked up. "Zen Flescher."
"Hey Zen."
"Arien! How are you?" Zen sounded jovial, as usual.
"Perfectly fine. Hey, we need a place to crash at."
"What happened?"
"Please don't ask questions. Sensitive matter. Anyway, can we?"
"Sure. Two max, though. No more than that."
"Eh… okay." She shut the phone without saying goodbye, then realized she had not said farewell after she hang up. She felt stupid. Dropping the phone onto Reno's thighs, Arien reported, "Zen can take two max."
"We have a problem," Elena observed.
"No, we don't. Rude and you, 'Laney, can go to Shiv's, and I'll just grab Arie and hit Zen's. Arie's Zen's wife's best friend, and, well, I can crash anywhere."
"But…"
"Would you rather be with me, 'Laney? As much as that attention is a turn-on…"
"NO," Elena replied vehemently.
"Right. And if Rude and I crash somewhere, we'd look like two gay people running away to hide… our gayness."
"What is up with you and your homophobia?" Arien asked exasperatedly.
"I ain't a homophobe. I just don't wanna lose women by making them think I'm gay, that's all."
"Didn't you know?" Elena laughed. "Even after you started going out, the entire department downstairs still firmly believed that you were in a secret relationship with Rude. Or Rufus, according one theory."
"What the fuck!" Reno slammed on the brakes as he nearly ran over a small child. He turned menacingly at the blonde woman. "They what?"
"They thought you had three relationships, I believe. With Rude, Rufus, and well, Arien."
"What the…"
"Did you?" Arien asked, her eyebrow raised skeptically.
"Arie, I don't run bi. I like women. You know that."
"The entire building knew that you like women," Arien retorted. "And by gods, the entire Midgar knew that too. The problem is, we don't know if you happen to like men…"
"I'm gonna rip your head off if you say another word."
"Okay, okay." Elena and Arien burst into laughter.
Reno dropped off Elena and Rude at Shiv's, he drove recklessly to Zen's. He parked the car haphazardly in the chaos called the parking lot, which were filled with fiberglass cars. Apparently that was the new style.
"That can't be safe," Arien observed as they walked to get to Shiv's apartment.
"And why the hell do they park in circles? What happens if you get stuck in the middle?"
"Woe to you."
"That really sucks."
As soon as Reno rang the buzzer on the main floor lobby, Zen's voice answered. "Who is it?"
"Who do you think it is?" Arien asked back.
"Oh, hey guys." The door buzzed, the lock unlocking itself.Reno opened the door.
The interior of the apartment was clean, pristine, and white. It wasn't too big, but it wasn't too small either; the elevator was probably for about ten people max. They got off at the fourth floor, and rang a doorbell to the left.
Ivana's silver lock peeked out, then her entire face. "Oh, hey, you two," she greeted happily. "Come in. What happened?"
"Long story," the woman replied as the two stepped in. They took off their shoes, reveling in the soft carpeting. Healin had wooden floors.
"We have time."
The three sat down around a wooden coffee table. "To make the long story really really short," Arien explained, "we went on a mission, didn't get expected results, Rufus gets pissed, he grills Tseng, we ran away."
"Aren't you going to get in trouble?" Ivana asked worriedly.
"Let's hope not, one ass grilled is one grilled ass too many," Reno piped up. The women had a mental image of a rear end getting grilled at Reno's nasty tone, and winced. Looking at the pained expressions unfolding around him, Reno grinned and added, "And of course, no one wants to eat grilled asses."
Arien kicked him under the table. Zen, who was in the kitchen, eyed Reno's brash discourses with interest. Reno was still his hero, but now Renaldo Miller wasn't just this name whispered in the darkness. Here he was, the redhead, looking bored. He was live and was blood and flesh, not this image in his mind.
As the saying went, Cross a Turk, Cross the Line, never come back. The saying always went with the other one, Once a Turk, always a Turk. Zen couldn't really believe it. They were so… ordinary. Okay, Reno wasn't ordinary by normal standards, but he really didn't look like an assassin. Even with their navy-blue suits on. Normally, assassins didn't sprawl on the sofa with shirt untucked, tie quite missing, jacket crumpled on the floor.
Arien watched Zen watch Reno, and sighed. Zen knew nothing. Ivana knew nothing. She knew damn well. She knew that at some point in his career, Reno was forced to kill a coworker; it was a baptism all Turks went through. She had to do it too, and later learned that the poor woman she had murdered was innocent of all crimes she was charged with. After knowing this (she riffled through the shoulderbag poor Min was carrying) she decided to dump her head in a bucket, go turn the gas on, and get knocked out. Reno had called in for a mission, realized that his subordinate wasn't picking up the phone, promptly came upstairs and screamed through the door until he realized that Arien wasn't responsive. He picked the lock, and found the woman not breathing on the floor. The rest was… silenced. She was saved, and when she woke up she swore to kill the damn physician for reviving her, then realized that was just another innocent added to the blood list that didn't need to be there. She stayed her hand and decided to scream at Reno instead, who pretended to listen while looking around for something to eat. Rude had to do it, too, although she never heard the tale. She remembered when Elena had to do it; she didn't come into work for almost a month. Nobody said anything.It all hit them like tidal waved, the heaviness of life and the guilt that followed them like a sad puppy. Did they get counseling? Nope. The day each came back, or so she surmised, they were sent onto another mission. They sold their souls for a high price, but Arien sometimes doubted it was high enough.
Testing loyalty. Bullshit. Shinra just liked to toy with people's minds. But they were Shinra's slaves, body and soul. Hell, her soul was already soaked in blood. Reno's was probably worse. Arien was just glad that Old Shinra had died before their relationship got somewhere substantial. No doubt that the old guy would have had one of them killed. Two assassins living under one roof was double-risk. Rufus, on the other hand, had both of them under surveillance twenty-four seven. While that was a little disturbing, it was better than being sent to kill each other.
"Here, Arien, tea," Zen handed her a cup. She took a smell of the fragrant tea, and felt something she didn't really expect. Nausea crept up to her chest, and she gagged.
"Jeez, Arie, that's polite," Reno commented.
"Arien, are you sick?"
"No… wow, your faces are swimming… Reno, you look so weird…" She felt the world was spinning again, like she was drunk. She tried to focus on the magazine lettering that was on the floor, but the letters were spinning too. What was going on?
"Wow…" she felt sick. "Reno, your face is twisted…"
"Reno."
"Yeah?"
"Is Arien sick?"
"Well…" Reno paused for a moment, wondering if she should spill the news. Well, Ivana was pregnant, wasn't she? They can be pregger buddies. Or whatever. "Arien… ah, shit."
"Reno, if this is emergency, we have to get her to the hospital now."
"Okay, fine, I don't know if she's sick. She's pregnant."
Ivana stopped her hand from trying to prop up her friend.
"She's what?"
"She's pregnant. With my kid."
"Your kid."
"Yeah, my kid. It's surprising, ain't it? I mean, normally people don't get pregnant from the fucking they do," he replied sarcastically.
"Arien, are you alright?" Ivana asked as she supported the woman with a hand on the back. Arien coughed, and accepted a glass of water with trepidation on her face.
"Arien, it won't hurt you. Trust me, I'm going through the same thing," Ivana assured.
"Thanks." She glared at Reno. "God, I hate you. You're fine and dandy while I'm puking. I should have been born a guy."
"Arie, don't attack Reno," Ivana soothed. "Do you want to lie down? That helps."
"Sure. Whatever that won't make me puke." Reno vacated his seat and helped his girlfriend lie down, a little more carefully than usual. Reno sat down on the carpeted floor, cross-legged. Ivana sat down in the love seat next to Zen.
"So, how many months?"
"Two. Into three," the redhead replied, holding Arien's hand.
"That's a little late for the sickness," Ivana noted. "When's the big day?"
"What big day?"
"Aren't you guys going to settle down together?" Zen asked.
Reno was taken aback. "You mean, get married and shit?"
"No Reno, he means when are you going to sit down on your rear end and stop breathing," came back the sharp retort from the sofa.
"Shut up."
"Are you two getting married?" Ivana persisted.
Silence.
"I'll take that as a 'we've never considered that option'," Ivana said to no one in particular.
"You have that part right, yeah."
"Why don't you think about it?" Ivana yanked Zen's hand and stood up. "We'll leave you two alone for a while."
