A/N: I have definitely got a problem. My problems is when I go into bookstores to buy my summer reading for 2 out of the 3 AP classes I am taking next year. So, I buy the stuff, and then I see a book someone reccomended me to last year. So, I buy it as well, and go home and read it.
And get hooked.
I admit, its a good book (Called "A Bride Most Begrudging", if you're interested.) but the fact is, that I could barely tear myself away from it to update right now. It's a good thing this is one of my favorite chapters, or I probably wouldn't have updated.
I am a slave to a good read. Last year, I said that happiness was a warm fire, a blanket, a cup of hot chocolate, and a good book. Though, now, I would edit that and pull out the blanket and replace it with a guy who loved me holding me while I read said good book but, meh, that's just me...
Chapter 11: Breaking Point
Kagome stared back at him, her chocolate brown eyes wide in slight surprise, yet it paled in comparison to the shock that was now on Inuyasha's face. "Kagome…" he groaned again, looking like a child that had been caught doing something wrong.
"Inuyasha," she whispered, glancing behind him. "Did you…" After a small pause to collect herself, she replied, "Did you just talk to Kikyou?"
He sighed in annoyance. So, she knew somehow. But this time, he did not look away as he told her the truth. "Yes."
Looking in his eyes, Kagome could see the struggle he was dealing with. She didn't quite understand it, but she knew there was something that was holding him back. Her mind instantly went to connect it with Kikyou, because what other explanation could there be? "I understand, Inuyasha," she murmured, her eyes downcast and carrying that sad reflection, while she turned away to leave him.
Inuyasha, of course, was surprised by her actions. "Wait," he demanded, grabbing her arm to turn her back around to face him. When he looked in her eyes, he was surprised by the look they held, that sad look he had seen so many times in Kikyou's eyes. Perhaps they were more alike that he thought. Nevertheless… "Why are you trying to leave me, Kagome?"
Her voice was soft and clear as she replied, "I thought you would want to be alone."
He couldn't help it—his current conflicting emotions with the girl in front of him, plus just having to tell Kikyou words that probably broke her heart…it was enough to make him mad and give a small growl of annoyance. "Why?"
Once again, Kagome looked away from him, and as she turned, Inuyasha cold see the shell necklace sticking out from underneath her shirt. "You always want to be alone after you see Kikyou, Inuyasha…You don't want me around then."
If she continued any longer, the hanyou thought he might snap. His nerves and his patience had worn out much earlier. He gripped her by the shoulders, forcing her beautiful chocolate eyes to look deep within his amber ones, currently swirling in an emotion she couldn't understand. "And what makes you think that I haven't changed?" His voice was harsh, but his eyes…were anything but.
Kagome felt her heart begin to pound within her chest. His eyes…that look was making her unable to comprehend anything else, except those golden depths...
Sighing, he relaxed his grip and let go, turning away slightly, but keeping his eyes on her. "If you want to know, Kagome, I told Kikyou to release me from my promise."
Blinking in surprise, Kagome tried to register what he had said. "What?"
Glancing back at her, his eyes still holding that look that caused her heart to race, he explained, "I told her I can no longer follow her to Hell once this is over."
She couldn't help it; she gasped. "Inuyasha…but…why?"
To her surprise, a slight grin came on his face. "I don't want to die, Kagome." He remembered all the laughter he shared with her, the way she had taught him to enjoy life. "I want to live."
That statement seemed ordinary at first, but later I realized that it was an odd statement that could have many meanings. More importantly, what did he mean by it? And why was I getting the feeling that perhaps I knew why he had told Kikyou he could never fulfill her promise?
Too many questions, and I was afraid to believe I had all the answers. But, nothing happened as of yet. My fantasies did not come true as Inuyasha did not immediately sweep me off my feet, kissing me profoundly while whispering strings of endless nothings in my ear. He was, however, a bit happier around me than he had been for the past several days.
There was still something bothering him, I knew that, and I wouldn't learn what it was for a long time…I know that it still bothered him, even when I agreed to be his mate, he didn't feel at ease, always worried that I would reject him because of it. I don't think he believed me until much later that I loved him completely, despite him being a hanyou…
Inuyasha sat in Kagome's room with his eyes closed, smothered in her scent, waiting for her to get home from school. It had been a few days since that time in the clearing, and ever since then he had been slightly happier, now that one problem with their relationship had been solved.
But there was still one more thing in their way—Naraku.
The hanyou clenched his fists around Tessaiga while he let out a growl. To think that his enemy would be keeping him away from Kagome, his Kagome! Despite the fact that he hated it, he knew there was no way he could ever be with Kagome until Naraku was defeated, it would be too dangerous.
And hen there was he whole question of would she even want to…
After all, Inuyasha wasn't ignorant in the ways of the world. He knew she would most likely want to return to her own time after Naraku was defeated. She wouldn't want to stay with him once her ties to his world were broken, he was sure of it. She would want to share her life with another, someone more human.
Yet every time she smiled at him, or he heard her gentle laughter, he couldn't help but hope…
His silver ear twitched as he picked up a laugh…her laugh. He darted over to her window, to look down at the grounds of the shrine. Sure enough, there she was—dressed in her blue uniform which she told him she hated because it was too restricting (although he didn't care because he couldn't help but notice the vest was a bit tighter across her chest) home from her day at school.
She was wearing the summer form of her uniform, the vest was sleeveless, her white blouse showing through, while her skirt was the same as ever. Kagome had noticed that it looked less like a school uniform and more like an outfit of a wealthy business woman. Then again, maybe that's what they had been going for, as boy's outfits were that dressy as well.
After Kagome had greeted her family, she went up to her room, to be surprised with the hanyou leaning against the wall, his arms folded in a position that she could help but describe as 'sexy'.
"Inuyasha…" she nearly gasped upon seeing him, with a slight smirk on his face. Yes, definitely sexy, she added. "What are you doing here?"
He shrugged. "Didn't have much to do back at the village, I suppose."
"Right…" she replied, feeling uncomfortable. Usually Inuyasha was the one dragging her back down through the well so they could go find Naraku. Now he was saying he wanted to stay here for a while?
Turning away slightly as she set down her backpack, she asked, "How…how long are you planning to stay here?"
Once again his answer surprised her, "I don't know."
Now he was acting much weirder than normal. Before he saw Kikyou, it seemed that all he really wanted was to get away from her…and now it appeared that he just wanted to spend time with her.
He should have known she was going to ask her next question. "Inuyasha, are you feeling okay?"
That caused the hanyou to give a snort and look at her haughtily. "Keh. Of course I'm okay!"
"Well…" Kagome decided to get a bit closer to him, as if to examine for signs of illness. He felt that uncomfortable feeling again, with her getting close. A small, almost hidden blush appeared on his face. Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all..."You've been acting a lot weirder lately…a lot weirder around…me."
So, she had noticed. Damn it all, was he really that obvious? His amber eyes glared back at her as he told her, "Well, I can't say you've been acting normal either, woman."
Blinking, she retorted, "Me? What does this have to do with me?" The way she leaned slightly forward, wrapping him in her scent, while her vest became even more tight around her chest is what did it.
"It has everything to do with you!" Inuyasha shot back, his harsh tone surprising her even more. "Ever since your birthday, you've been all…all…"
"All what?"
Pointing at the necklace that was still around her neck, the hanyou yelled, "Like that and stuff! You're always smiling and laughing and happy and it's been driving me nuts!"
Kagome grasped the necklace, stepping back against his tirade, wondering what on earth could have brought it on. "Well, if it's driving you nuts, then why don't you just go away?"
With her words, Inuyasha lost it.
"But I can't!" he roared, her eyes widening as he stepped closer to her. "I can't get enough of it! I can't get away because you're always haunting me like this! Every time I turn around you're there! And even when you aren't I still see you!" Inuyasha grabbed her arm, jerking her towards him, her mouth slightly open at his confessions and fierce eyes. "Every day your scent has me under its spell, and there's nothing I can do about it! You little wench, you won't give me a moment's peace! And every time I'm around you, I'm beginning to think that I—"
The hanyou stopped abruptly, seeing her shocked face, before releasing her, causing Kagome to stumble back, still staring at him. He turned away, folding his arms once more with the sour expression on his face before Kagome whispered, "You what, Inuyasha?"
There was a silence between them before Inuyasha growled, "Forget it." He turned away, stomping towards the door, his face hidden by his silver bangs, ears drooping.
"Wait, Inuyasha," Kagome stepped forward, causing him to stop, but not to turn around. "Where are you going?"
Jerking open the door to her room with more force than he intended, Inuyasha growled, "Isn't it obvious? I'm going back. I'm sick of being here."
Kagome watched him as he left her room, glancing out her window to watch him enter the well house, not daring to wonder what was going on before he had left. There was definitely something going on with him. Only a few minutes before, he said he didn't know how long he was staying because the village had gotten boring. Now he was storming off back there, mad at her…or something.
And then when he said…Her heart still pounded in her chest as she recalled his words, "I'm beginning to think that I—" What had he been meaning to say? Did he really mean it that way? Was it possible?
Kagome didn't want to ask. She had lived for a year not daring to ever believe he would come close to loving her. But now…even though he had broken off his relationship with Kikyou, it couldn't be…could it? She was afraid of finding out that she was wrong in her suspicions, that he had been referring to something else.
But she was also scared of finding out that her suspicions were right. Because if they were, what would happen next?
Inuyasha's words puzzled me greatly. It seemed like he was telling me something I had been dying to hear, yet I feared for bringing it up again. I had been mistaken and wrong so many times, why would it even be possible that I was right one time?
But then again, his meaning seemed unable to refer to anything else. He told me that he thought of me all the time, that I was "haunting" him and he couldn't get me out of his mind. How else was I supposed to interpret that?
I had never quite seen Inuyasha snap at me like that before…much less him yelling at me for something I didn't even intend to do. But I suppose it was hard for him, not ever feeling like that before or knowing that it was normal. I know now he was worried that I would never accept him as a hanyou, and I suppose that's what really drove him over the edge.
That was just one of the times I realized how complex Inuyasha was, able to feel emotions like the rest of us, but he never really knew why, and it hurt him when he was feeling something he couldn't understand. He's always been that way, I can recall a time when he pushed me down the well because he was afraid for me…and afraid of the fact that he knew instinctively that he had to protect me, something he had never felt before.
I guess no one really understands love the first time they feel it full force; I know I didn't. And we each have our own way of dealing with it. If Inuyasha hadn't reacted the way he did, he wouldn't be the hanyou that I love to this very day…
An eerie purple glow of jyaki came from the pulsing, almost complete Shikon no Tama as Naraku held it out, in front of the light pink barrier around the cave.
The evil hanyou grinned while his eerie red-brown eyes, like the color of blood, twinkled in amusement. He was clad in clothes of a human, his shouki giving tentacles hidden for the time being in this form, yet the cloud of jyaki could not hide his power.
He stepped closer, still holding the Shikon no Tama in front of him, until he tested it, touching the jewel lightly against the barrier. Just as he had suspected, pink sparks emitted from the spot the jewel touched the pink light. Giving a small laugh, Naraku said, "Midoriko, I see you try to fight me. But you cannot fight forever. Your soul is in this tainted jewel, and you will submit to my wishes."
Almost on cue, the sparks stopped flaring as the pink barrier became overcome by the purple aura, and was cast down. Smirking, Naraku walked past the defeated barrier and into the dark cave, holding the Shikon no Tama out in front of him like a shield.
Soon, he came to the end of the dark tunnel, and found what he was looking for, the corpse of Midoriko, trapped within the jaws of the youkai beast for all eternity. As he neared her grave, holding the jewel in front of him, a sudden, pink light flared around her corpse, and he knew her soul was fully there at last. "What do you want of me, hanyou?" a voice, sounding far away, came from her corpse as her soul in the jewel responded to the place of her death.
Chuckling, Naraku replied, "You know what I want of you, Midoriko. Tell me of the Curse of the Shikon no Tama."
The pink glow flared, before the jyaki overcame it, turning it to a light purple—the soul of a miko could not be fully overtaken. "I did not create the Curse of the Shikon no Tama…there is nothing that I would know that you would want for your vile deeds, hanyou."
Though it was annoying for Naraku to be called 'hanyou' over and over, reminding him of how Kikyou spoke to him, he bore it for the sake of gaining what he wanted. "But your soul is in the Shikon no Tama, and it will remember of the curse created by your death, and the birth of the jewel. Midoriko, you will tell me what your soul remembers." He held the Shikon no Tama closer, her pure aura being retaken once more.
He heard a chuckle come from her body. "You use necromancy against me, hanyou? My soul cannot be persuaded so easily."
Pink light flared again, but Naraku suddenly emitted a cloud of shouki causing it to envelop her body and the Shikon no Tama until at last, all traces of pink were diminished. "You will tell me, Midoriko. And if this goes well, then you may at last be appeased, with your soul brought back from splinters and released from the prison of the Shikon no Tama at last."
"The curse doesn't choose who its victims are…you would most likely be killed by it as well, hanyou. Would that price be worth what you are so desperate to master it for?"
Snickering once more, Naraku replied, "If I could kill Inuyasha, Kikyou, and that ridiculous reincarnation of hers, then death in time would be worth it in the end."
There was a pause before the sprit of Midoriko replied, "We will see."
