A/N: I think I'm getting sick again...so tired...
For those that have been cheering Inuyasha and Kagome on for the longest time, you're in luck, since now the romance plot is finally going somewhere, it seems. There's still of a bit of a ways to go, but its improvement, right? For those that have been asking, there's going to be less battles now, because of the romance. Eventually you'll find out about the curse and have to fight Naraku a few times, but right now, the story is fluffy. Better enjoy it, because I think this is the fluffiest fic I have ever written to date.
Chapter 12: To Love Someone
After Inuyasha's lingering words the day before, he left for the Sengoku Jidai, while I remained in my time for a little while, to hopefully help him calm down. I knew from experience that when something was bothering him this bad, it was better to just leave him alone instead of trying to make it better.
Fighting with him time and time again made me want to go back and apologize for whatever I had done (according to his words, I had "haunted" him, so I wasn't quite sure how to apologize for that) to make him so angry. But it wouldn't help in this case, since he had all but told me that it was because he couldn't stop thinking about me that he was upset.
I assumed that he was angry at me for this, but later on I realized he was angrier at himself. Naturally, I took it to mean that he didn't like me like that and didn't want to think of me because of that fact. Perhaps he was tired of being around me so much and wanted a break.
But oh, how wrong I was…so very wrong in all my assumptions…
"So, Kagome-chan, how's everything with your boyfriend?" Eri asked as they walked home from their school two days after Inuyasha's surprising outburst, her mind still on the incident.
I'm definitely not going to tell them what he said! she decided, shrugging. "He said he would finally go steady with me," Kagome admitted, remembering when he told her he could not longer keep his promise to Kikyou.
All three of her friends gasped at that. "Really? But Kagome-chan, what about his ex-girlfriend he couldn't stop thinking about?"
Kagome sighed as she told them, "He told her he couldn't stay with her; at least, that's what he told me."
"Kagome-chan, that's great!" Ayumi said, a dreamy look in her eyes. "Now he'll stay with you and everything will turn out all right!"
When Kagome didn't smile, all three of them figured something was wrong. "Kagome-chan?" Yuka asked. "He did tell you he was going to stay with you, didn't he?"
Looking away as Kagome remembered exactly the conversation he had with her right after he had talked with Kikyou, she replied, "Not really."
Eri gasped once more, stepping in front of her with an enraged look on her face. "So, Kagome-chan, you're saying he finally broke it all off with her and hasn't done anything with you yet?"
"No," she admitted here eyes lowering in sadness. "He hasn't said anything about us since then." Except for when he said that…Kagome was reminded yet again of the time he had yelled at her in her room.
"Are you saying he's breaking up with you again?" Yuka gasped, looking angry. "What is up with him anyway? Why can't he just decide? Does he really just want to stay a two timer and never commit to you, despite breaking it off with one girl?"
Her words caused Kagome's already angry nerves about the situation to snap. "I just don't know anymore!" she yelled. "One minute he's telling me that he doesn't want to be with his old girlfriend, and then the next he he's mad and ignores me, and then he turns around and yells at me because he can't stop thinking about me—"
There was a loud group gasp as all three of them stared at her, with wide eyes. "He said what?" It was then Kagome realized what she had just blurted out.
Oh no… "Did he really say he couldn't stop thinking about you, Kagome-chan?" Ayumi asked, her eyes more starry than ever.
More than ever, Kagome wished that the earth could just open up and swallow her right there. "Yes, Ayumi-chan, he said that."
Ayumi, Eri, and Yuka both squealed at her statement. "Kagome-chan, you're so lucky!" Eri told her.
"I wish a boy told me that," Yuka sighed in defeat, while Ayumi still looked at her with starry eyes.
"Look, guys, its no big deal. I'm sure he didn't mean it the way you guys are taking it—" Kagome pointed out, walking in front of them before they stopped her once more.
Yuka gave her a look that looked to be almost as dominating as Inuyasha's. "No big deal? Kagome-chan, your boyfriend practically spelled it out that he's in love with you! And you're saying its no big deal?"
"But he didn't say that," Kagome reminded them. "And I know him, unless he comes out and says it, he doesn't mean it. There's no reason to think that he actually meant what you guys are taking it to mean. He just told his ex-girlfriend that he doesn't want to see her anymore. I don't think that he'd suddenly jump to that so soon after. In fact, its highly unlikely for him at all to ever say anything like that. He's just not that kind of guy."
After a slight pause from her words, Yuka asked, "But Kagome-chan…don't you want him to mean that?"
Sighing once more as she began walking up the steps to her family's shrine, Kagome admitted, "Maybe I do want him to someday mean that, but I don't want to get my hopes up when there's a big chance I'm wrong."
As soon as Kagome walked into her house that afternoon, she went straight to the kitchen to see her mother. "I'm home, Mama!" she said with a smile.
Smiling back, her mother answered, "How was school?"
Giving a small shudder, Kaogme replied, "Horrible." As her mother laughed at that, Kagome sat down on the table, sighing and thinking for a minute before speaking up nervously, "Mama?"
Looking back at her, her mother asked, "What is it, Kagome?"
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, looking away before replying, "If…if a guy says that he…can't stop thinking about you…" A heated blush appeared on her face at that. "Does that mean that he…likes you?"
To Kagome's surprise, her mother chuckled while sitting across from her. "Inuyasha said that, did he?"
"No!" Kagome denied instinctively, before sighing and blushing even more. "Well…yes…"
"Kagome, I don't know the situation, but I would assume that the answer is yes."
A surprised look came on her face as she turned around to face her mother. "What? You mean you actually think—"
Mrs. Higurashi chuckled again. "Kagome, it's always been obvious about how you feel about each other. I've seen how that boy always promises to protect you, and how it seems that he can't stand a minute without seeing you. He always looks happier when you come into the room, and he can't keep his eyes off you wherever you go."
"But…he yelled at me, Mama." Kagome found herself sliding down in the seat in embarrassment. "He yelled at me because he said he couldn't get me out of his mind."
Taking her daughter's hand in hers, she told her sweetly, "Kagome, I think he's just having trouble adjusting to the realization. Boys, especially ones like him, aren't always secure with that feeling the first time it hits them."
"I don't know, Mama." Kagome glanced out the window towards Goshinboku. "It seems too unlikely…"
Sighing, Mrs. Higurashi told her, "Well, I don't know what he thinks, Kagome. But the only advice I can give you is don't assume anything yet. Only time will tell, I suppose."
Kagome nodded, but kept her eyes on the tree in the courtyard, knowing that such a miracle was probably far beyond her reach.
Inuyasha leaned against a tree, looking down at the village from his vantage point on a hill. Kagome had not come back yet, and for once, he was glad she hadn't. He still wasn't ready to face her after his outburst the day in her room.
When he came back without her, he was assaulted with questions from his friends, as he knew he would be. He ignored most of them, definitely not going to discuss his current problems with Kagome with them.
Out of all his friends, Miroku seemed the most intrigued. The hanyou just dismissed it as that depraved monk making assumptions once more. Although, Inuyasha had the distinct feeling that perhaps the monk did know some of what was going on between them without having to be told, after all, it seemed that he had guessed Inuyasha's feelings long before he knew them himself.
Maybe that monk isn't so dumb after all…he thought, glancing back over the village, seeing the humans go about their daily tasks. It was a view he had gotten used to, after years of waiting close by to villages, watching for night so he could steal whatever he could and then keep going.
He was a hanyou, always isolated from humans and youkai alike…always alone…
Except for Kagome…
Once again, Inuyasha found himself venting his frustration on a tree. Damn it, why couldn't he stop thinking about her? He kept trying and trying, but nothing seemed to be working. Just like he had told her the other day, he was helpless when it came to her, knowing he would do whatever she wanted.
Hell, he knew he wouldn't just die for Kagome, if she wanted it, he would be kept on a leash, it if meant being around her always.
Inuyasha's ear twitched as he heard the sounds of someone walking up the hill towards him. His ears picked up the faint sounds of clinking and he instantly knew who it was. That damn monk again…
"Inuyasha?" Miroku asked, coming to a stop at the base of the tree.
The hanyou didn't look back at him as he muttered in annoyance, "What do you want, monk?"
Miroku went straight to the point. "I just wanted to say that Kagome-sama has returned. Would you like to come and see her, as you are usually as anxious as a puppy for her arrival."
Growling at his direct insult, he answered, "No."
Blinking in surprise, the monk got closer. "Are you meaning to say, Inuyasha, that you do not want to even welcome her back, though she has been gone a while?"
"No." Glancing down at Miroku, he continued, "Lay off, monk. Kagome doesn't want to see me either."
After a pause to process this information, the monk spoke, "I see. I assume that you are fighting again?"
Rolling over so Miroku only saw his silver hair falling down his back rather than his face, Inuyasha told him, "You could say that."
"If you are fighting, then why did Kagome-sama walk into the hut with a smile on her face, looking as cheerful as ever? She is usually visually upset as well when you two are having one of your lovers' quarrels."
Growling again at Miroku's use of words, the hanyou retorted, "Who knows what runs through that woman's head?"
Chuckling, Miroku replied, "A question indeed. But if I didn't know any better, Inuyasha, I'd say that you two have seemed to have gotten closer in the past couple of weeks. May I ask how close?"
"It's none of your damn business!" Inuyasha shot back at once, his voice in a deep growl. "What goes on between me and Kagome stays between us! Got that, you nosy monk?"
That only caused the said monk's smile to widen. "Oh yes, of course I understand, Inuyasha. Business between lovers should stay so, after all."
Unable to stand it any longer, Inuyasha jumped down from the tree, right next to the lecherous monk with a wide grin on his face. "Stop saying that!" he roared, clenching his fists.
"Saying what?"
"That…that thing! When you keep saying Kagome and I are…are...that!" It was quite hilarious to see the hanyou this way, as his face was lit with rage, though the blush on his face as Miroku's words caused anything menacing about his angry form to fall back instantly.
Fake understanding dawned across Miroku's face. "Oh. Do you mean when I say that you are lovers?"
The blush deepened and Inuyasha turned away in a fake pout to hide it. "Yes!"
"Well, if you forgive me for saying so, Inuyasha. You two do seem to be quite obvious about each other, and given her happiness today, I suppose I came to the wrong conclusion."
"Keh. You got that right monk." There was no way that Kagome would ever want to do…that with him, Inuyasha was certain.
Despite how much Inuyasha wanted him to stop, the lecherous monk kept going, looking up as if trying to figure something out. "Would it be wrong to say that you are together then, Inuyasha?"
Turning around sharply, the hanyou snapped at his friend, "Damn wrong, monk! There is nothing going on between us! And there never will be!"
The monk's deep violet eyes were serious once more as he retorted, "And whose fault is that, Inuyasha?"
Giving a sigh, Inuyasha turned away once more, folding his arms. There was a touch of regret in his amber eyes as he told him, "Kagome deserves better. She deserves someone human."
"And are you sure that someone 'better' would make her happy, Inuyasha? After all she's done for you, all the times she's waited for you, do you think that she would really abandon you for someone else?"
"She deserves someone from her time," Inuyasha repeated. "Someone who can give her what she's used to, and won't have to hide what they are every time they go somewhere…" Inuyasha glanced up at the blue sky, his eyes once more holding that bit of loneliness they always had. "Someone who can be all romantic and how she likes…Who she hasn't seen kill so many…Who doesn't get scorned or cursed at every time they go to a new place…"
Inuyasha was lost, and Miroku knew he had to pull him back. "Inuyasha…" he started, and it did pull the hanyou out of his thought, but only made him angry.
"Why are you so eager to know, anyway? Didn't I tell you it was none of your damn business?" he shouted, turning around and facing the monk, upset that he had revealed too much.
Holding his hands up in a form of surrender, Miroku replied, "You're right, I apologize. All I will say is, perhaps you should observe more carefully if you really believe that." Then the monk turned away, heading back to the village, leaving Inuyasha standing there, watching him go, cursing himself inside for getting lost in his self-pity.
I hate this! He growled. I hate feeling so pathetic! I hate constantly thinking like this! I hate the fact that I can't stop thinking about her! I hate—
Inuyasha stopped himself when he saw her, the woman of his dreams, exit Kaede's hut with Shippou pulling her off towards the village, a smile on her face. Kagome…
No. He couldn't ever hate Kagome. No matter what she did to him, he would never be able to feel any other emotion about her other than…
Amber eyes softened as he looked upon her, laughing as she played with the kitsune, chasing him around the soft grass, while Kirara and some white dog he had never seen before also gathered around her. Her smiles and her laughs were so gentle, so beautiful that it seemed others wanted to be around her all the time as well. Inuyasha's silver ears twitched slightly as he picked up her laughter, sounding like bells, while Shippou and Kirara had a small, mock fight, each causing little damage to each other.
As Inuyasha's eyes zeroed on her face, looking even more beautiful with her wonderful smile, his ears hearing her laughter, he knew he couldn't deny it anymore.
"I love her," he whispered, his words only heard by the gentle breeze.
Inuyasha had known before, of course, but he had always tried to deny it, knowing that once it was out, it would lead to something he could never turn back from. And as he felt his heart soar, watching her, he wasn't sure he wanted to. Perhaps he had always loved her, but with Kikyou and Naraku interfering, he had never really known until recently.
As he caught her gentle scent on the breeze, he didn't care if she didn't love him back or if he would have to spend the rest of his life in loneliness. In this moment, a small smile came to his face as he realized what it felt to truly love someone, and that was a feeling that he wouldn't give up for the world.
