1/18
"Here is everything, seeds and soil."
Reisen bowed. "Thank you. I knew I could count on you. With this, we'll finally be able to grow our own of that special tea, and perhaps even work with Master to extract and analyze its ingredients so we can synthesize them and create new medicines."
"Are you sure? Youmu claims it can only grow in the Netherworld."
"Nothing is too challenging for us to overcome," Reisen boasted. "Master is the 'Brain of the Moon,' after all."
I chuckled. "Well, I suppose so." I fixed my shirt. "Now then, about our deal. You did promise you would make it up to me if I delivered these to you."
"Oh, yes." Reisen kicked her feet a bit. "Well… as I told you before, I don't get much time off, because of my job. But, Master said I could have the night off if I did this for her. So… if you don't mind, could we go for drinks tonight, to… get to know each other better?" She tensed up. "A-as business partners, I mean. I'll buy."
I nodded. "Actually, it's interesting you suggest that. I was already planning on joining two of the acolytes at the Myouren Temple for a drinking date in the Underground tonight."
"...oh?"
"...is something the matter?" I asked.
Reisen then suddenly broke into a giggle fit. "Oh, those girls. Always looking for a chance to slip away and drink 'till they drop." She looked up. "Still, I do want to come with you. I hope I won't be a burden."
"I'm sure they'll understand," I smiled.
"Really? Thanks."
"Seven o'clock at the Underground cave entrance, they said. I'll come back here later so that we can go together."
"I can do that. See you tonight."
"See you tonight," I said back, leaving the hallway and out of Eientei. On my way out, I passed by Kaguya, who was being helped by several rabbits.
"What were you two talking about?" she asked primly.
"I'm taking her out on a drinking date," I said to her.
"Oh really? I didn't think you two would hit it off so fast."
I shook my head again. "Only as business partners and friends. Nothing more than that."
Kaguya looked down. "Is that so…" She leaned in closer to me. "Please be gentle with her. She gets scared and anxious easily. Make sure you're close to her and that she doesn't get overstimulated."
"I'll do everything I can," I bowed. "And we'll be going with others. I doubt she'll get into any danger."
Kaguya sighed. "Well… I'm not concerned about her being in any danger…"
"How do you mean?"
Kaguya shook her head. "Just… just look after her for me, okay? I'm asking you, as Princess Kaguya, that you do so."
I put my hand to my chest and bowed. "You have my word."
Kaguya smiled. "Thank you. Have fun tonight. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."
There were still a few hours before we needed to be at the Underground Cave entrance, so I stopped by the Shrine to see what Reimu was up to. When I arrived, no one was out front, but I heard voices coming from the shamusho, so I knocked on the door.
Marisa opened it. "Aha, perfect timing. We were just talking about sending out for you." She let me in. "Please, come inside."
Inside, I found Reimu sitting at the kotatsu eating oranges and rice crackers while Nitori stood above her showing off some kind of device. I also noticed Reimu and Marisa were wearing rather distinctive kimonos with designs unlike those seen in the Village.
"Good afternoon, Goro," Reimu greeted. "Have a seat. We're going over the plan for tonight, to make sure everything goes smoothly."
I pointed at the device in Nitori's hand. "I'm assuming what Nitori has there is involved?"
"Exactly!" she chirped. "This is a cloaking device! This way, Reimu and Marisa can follow you around without being detected. It can even mask body heat and deflect psychic waves!"
"Psychic waves?" I asked.
"Satori live down there too," Nitori explained. "Can't be too careful."
I nodded. "Oh, right. That's a mind-reading youkai, if I recall?"
"Correct."
I looked back at Reimu. "I must ask, though: those are interesting clothes, especially if you're going to be invisible."
"This is our backup plan in case the cloaking devices fail," Reimu said. "Me and Marisa will be disguised as oni." She got up so I could see the full dress. "These kimonos are a type only they traditionally wear. Marisa also has attachable horns for the two of us, as well as a potion that temporarily grants us oni-like strength and alcohol tolerance." She glanced at Marisa. "Don't forget to undo your braid."
"Ah, right, sorry. Habit." She undid her braid, then shook her hair wild and free. "Man. Feels so weird not having that braid."
Reimu yawned. "Anyway, we just wanted you to see what our plan was before going down there tonight. Don't forget to have that amulet I gave you on hand as well."
"I won't," I bowed. "There is just one thing. We'll be joined by another person tonight."
"Who?" Reimu asked.
"Reisen," I answered. "Reisen will be joining us."
"Reisen?" Marisa said. "Why the hell is she goin' down to the Underground with you?"
"She is going to pay for my drinks as a reward for bringing her herbs and soil from the Netherworld." I looked at Reimu. "Of course I'll ensure she knows nothing about the trip's true objective. Keeping her from investigating what I'm doing with their medicine is difficult as it is."
Marisa shook her head. "I wouldn't sweat it too much. We're gettin' the Myouren guys to try and spill a keyword. I doubt Reisen's gonna care about anything going on there; Eientei and Myouren don't really interact with each other. And she can hold her own in a fight just in case."
Reimu rolled her eyes. "I don't want to see an oni under the effects of her madness-inducing eye, thank you very much." She sighed again. "Just make sure she doesn't get in the way."
"Understood," I bowed. "See you tonight."
"See 'ya," Marisa waved.
...madness-inducing eye?
Once it got closer to seven, I went back to Eientei to pick Reisen up (with Eirin giving us a wink as we left), and made it to the Underground Cave entrance on Youkai Mountain. It was dark out, but because it was brightly lit up it was surprisingly easy to find.
We touched down in front of a gaping black cave, with a bright electric sign proclaiming "Gensokyo Underground" above it. Next door to it was an industrial-looking set of metal doors surrounded by a chain-link fence with a sign calling it the "Geyser Center."
"What's all this?" I asked.
"This must be the Geyser Center," Reisen said. "The power generated from the nuclear plants down below gets routed across the mountain here, and the hot springs are also controlled from here too."
"They're great hot springs, you should check 'em out sometime!"
We looked to our left to see three figures, Shou, Minamitsu and Ichirin, emerge from behind a rocky outcrop, dressed in regular clothes instead of the ones I saw them wear at the Temple. Around Ichirin was a ring of pink clouds which curled up beside her head.
"Good to see you again, Goro," Ichirin bowed. She looked at Reisen. "Oh, do we have another guest?"
Minamitsu smirked. "Gotta date, hotshot?"
Reisen blushed up and her ears shot up. "No! We're just… we're just here to have a good time, and I owe him a favor too!"
"Oh, c'mon, a hot guy and a cute girl out at night about to go to the Underground? Don'cha know how crazy it gets down there?" She laughed, then shook her head. "Eh, I'm just messin' with 'ya. Still, 'ya know everyone down there's gonna think the same thing, right?"
Shou looked at us. "You're Reisen Udonge Inaba, the medicine seller from Eientei, correct?"
"Yes," Reisen said. "But, just Reisen is fine, okay?"
"Understood," Shou bowed. "You do have your pass with you?"
"Of course, Master always keeps extras."
"Excellent."
"Passes?" I asked.
"You don't need one because you're a human," Ichirin explained. "They started allowing aboveground youkai to visit the Underground only a few years ago following the Geyser incident, and they send out a limited number of passes each year to limit and keep track of visitors." She flashed two of the passes in her hand, which were clearly old Amazon gift cards with "YOUKAI PASS - ICHIRIN" and "YOUKAI PASS - UNZAN" scrawled on them. "I carry two: one for me, and one for Unzan over here." The pink clouds around her then bunched up and formed the shape of an old man with large, muscular arms and a large beard.
Ichirin smiled. "Ah. He's usually quite shy, but it seems he trusts you enough to come out."
"Likely because I'm the only other man here," I mused. We chuckled, before heading into the cave. Just before going in, a small rock bounced off the cave entrance from behind. The others didn't notice, but I knew it meant Reimu and Marisa were present, since they said they would do that to indicate their presence before the mission.
Naturally, the cave was very dark, but a lit path weaving between colossal stalagmites and stalactites showed us the way to the Former Capital of Hell where the city and its bars were. The group explained to me that this was the "Deep Path to Hell" where condemned spirits were once herded down on their way to be punished. Certainly it looked like the kind of place evil spirits would haunt, or perhaps could be the "doorstep" to Lucifer's abode. They also commented that the Tsurube-otashi and the Tsuchigumo who liked to loiter in the area were absent tonight.
We soon came to a bridge, beyond which city lights illuminated the cavern walls. A lone girl with blonde hair, striking green eyes and foreign-looking clothes stood at the bridge's edge, next to some kind of tollbooth. Presumably, this was the checkpoint we needed to pass in order to access the city.
"Oh great, more bar-goers," she griped. "Let me guess, all of you are youkai?"
"Everyone except me," I said. "My name is-"
"Don't care," she said. "Just go ahead so they can all show me their passes. Then you can take your harem to whatever bar you want."
I was taken aback at just how rigid and blunt this girl was, and calling the others my "harem" caused them all to blush and look away awkwardly. I did as she instructed and crossed the bridge, which spanned a high chasm through which a ghostly blue river flowed. A few moments later, the rest of them made it across, and we continued toward the city.
"That woman was quite rude," I said.
"Eh, Parsee's always like that," Minamitsu replied. "She's a hashihime, she can't help it. Asking her not to be jealous is like asking a fish not to swim. You could even call her jealousy itself."
I nodded. "Ah. I see. But then, what about Leviathan?"
"What about 'im? I'll tell 'ya what, he ain't got nuthin' on Parsee. Hell, she'd break up every couple on Earth if she weren't confined to that bridge."
"Interesting…" A woman who was the embodiment of jealousy. Certainly, it made me think about my own envious feelings, about how I never had a "real" childhood, or how everything I did, Ren would seem to do better. Stronger, faster, more charismatic and charming… Of course, one could probably say the same of me, except that most of the time it felt so fake. Cast aside by the system, I attempted to burn the world as revenge, to make sure nobody could have anything ever again. And, of course, fulfill my father's desires only to take them away just as he accomplished his twisted dream.
...but now, my days of sowing vengeful chaos were behind me. Now, I had to help with enforcing Gensokyo's law. To focus on rebuilding my present and creating positive future prospects, rather than stew on the past that was never mine.
At last, we met the city gates. The town whose streets were once haunted by the souls of the condemned, now trodden by the rough, hardened feet of oni, going about and enjoying life seemingly without caring about the city's past. Somehow, they managed to build themselves a functional society, but if there were two things oni were known for, it was getting drunk and getting into fights. Most of the time, both.
What surprised me the most was the sheer variation in how they all looked. Some oni looked just like normal humans with only the horns indicating their true species, while others were the looming, muscular, fanged brutes most humans envisioned when they thought of oni, and many were somewhere in between. All of them, however, liked booze and fistfights as much as the one next to them. Brawls would break out on the streets while passersby barely noticed, people would drink sake straight from the bottle while sitting and chatting on the curb, there were weightlifting contests where the challengers would one-up each other by lifting heavier and heavier boulders, and even the children would drink and have a rowdy time roughhousing each other.
After walking down the main boulevard for a few minutes, we came to a bar calling itself the "Four Devas Bar and Lounge," with extremely loud music and bright lights coming from inside.
"Ah, here we are, the usual place," Shou said.
"We always end up here, don't we?" Ichirin added.
"...I'm sorry, but what is 'this place?'" Reisen asked.
"'Place just in front of us," Minamitsu told her. "There's a hundred bars in this town, but this one's easily the best. The drinks are the best, the people are the best, and the bartender and owner's just the most fun!" She tugged on Reisen's shirt. "C'mon, let's head inside!"
"Wha- hey!" Reisen squealed.
"Oh brother…" I sighed as I followed the girls inside what was sure to be a den of drunkenness and debauchery. I had to remind myself that Reimu and Marisa were secretly here with me, otherwise I may have just abandoned the mission right there.
The inside of the bar was exactly as I expected a bar full of oni would be like: not only did it absolutely reek of alcohol, there was loud, drunken karaoke with a band providing the music… poorly, tobacco smoke filled the air, there were numerous pool tables and dart boards which inebriated patrons were huddled around, and on the counter, a cat smoking a hookah. Really, the only things missing were aliens playing saxophones and an elephant DJ. And a cackling monkey-puppet thing.
By some miracle, we found five adjacent seats at the bar open, and right as we seated ourselves the bartender noticed us and came over.
"Welcome to Four Devas!" she smiled. She then scanned our faces and focused on the Myouren group. "Oh, you guys again? You sure come here a lot! I hope that Byakuren chick doesn't know!"
"Of course not," Shou said, "but this time we brought guests."
"I can tell!" She then looked over at me and Reisen, and I got a better look at her: she had blonde hair, a single red horn with stars on her forehead, a white shirt holding in an oversized bust and a red-and-blue ruffled skirt. "Welcome in! My name's Yuugi Hoshiguma. I'm the owner and bartender of this place!"
Reisen hesitated to speak.
"It's nice to meet you, Hoshiguma-sama. My name is Goro Akechi."
Yuugi gave a big laugh. "Ya tryin' to charm me, boy? Maybe that's why you picked up all those girls! Ya certainly look the part of a charmer! What about you, little lady?"
"Oh, uh…" Reisen stuttered. "I'm… I'm Reisen Udonge Inaba."
"Ohoho, say no more! Ya work for that medicine lady, right? Nothin' gets past ol' Yuugi! Surface people talk about her all the time!" She reached for some glasses and filled them with ice. "Anyway, what can I get started for y'all?"
"I'll have the usual," Shou said.
"Gimme some of that aged German lager if ye got it!" Minamitsu said.
"Then I'll get a mandarin orange juice and triple sec," Ichirin said. "And a peach bellini for Unzan."
"Got it! I'll go work on 'em for ya!" Yuugi turned to us. "How 'bout you? What can I getcha?"
Before I could speak up, Reisen asked, "do you have absinthe?"
"Only the best those rat spirits in Chireiden can produce!" Yuugi said proudly. "The good stuff, the kind that fucks 'ya up and gives ya extra arms!"
"Then I'll take some of that," she said simply.
The rest of us stared at her. "Ye serious?" Minamitsu said.
"It's my personal favorite," she smiled. "I'm sure if any of you had it, you'd fall to the floor the second you tried to get up and leave."
The others kept staring at her while Yuugi asked me, "and how 'bout you?"
"I'm still new to drinking," I said. "I only recently had my first drink."
"Oh really?" she smirked. "Well, I suppose I could get you somethin' good and simple for a greenhorn like yourself!" She reached under the table and grabbed three bottles, poured them into her shaker in roughly equal amounts, mixed them, then poured the crimson liquid into one of the iced glasses. "This here's the 'Dark Sunset.' Okuu, the Hell Raven, came up with it herself. It's got vodka, lemonade and cart Cherry juice. Try it out!"
Minamitsu chuckled. "I wouldn't trust anything that глупый birdbrain thinks up, but if the bartender says it's good, then it probably won't give 'ye radiation poisoning."
"...radiation poisoning?" I asked nervously.
Yuugi shook her head. "Eh, don't sweat it for now."
"Well, alright…" I picked up the glass and took a sip. It was… the taste was, expectedly, sour, being a mix of lemonade and tart cherry, after all, and reminding me almost of cranberry cocktail. There was also a faint, astringent, burning aftertaste, no doubt the vodka. I puckered a bit from the mix of flavors in my mouth and throat.
"Well? How was it?" Yuugi asked.
"It was alright," I managed to say.
"Good to hear it! Now, can I get you all some eats?"
"I'll just get some edamame and fried tofu," Ichirin said.
"Make it two," Reisen said.
"Sashimi for me," said Murasa.
"Pickles and kushiyaki over here," Shou said.
I eyed the menu on the chalkboard behind Yuugi. "Then, I'll have Chicken Yakitori and steamed vegetables."
"Alright, I'll get those out for 'ya!" Yuugi finished our drinks and went into the back, yelling our orders to the cooks. Soon after, we started chatting among ourselves. Now was the real start of the mission, to steer the conversation towards some of their gripes they may have harbored against Byakuren so I could figure out her keyword.
"...and so the Kappa brought their fukkin' seal up to the temple to promote their brand atta sutra concert, an' it started makin' honks and shit drownin' out her voice, screamin' 'bout eggs or somethin!"
By now, it had been a while since we arrived at the bar, we had received our food, and the effect of the alcohol was starting to become apparent in the girls. I made sure to moderate myself, only getting water once I had finished my glass, while they had all moved on to chugging dishes of sake in lieu of the cocktails they had started out with, Reisen included.
"Well, I got one for all y'all," Reisen said tipsily. "One time, one of the rabbits got so fat that it couldn't get its ass through the fence surrounding Eientei, so me an' Tewi had to really heave-ho it through! An' once we did, it left behind a huge pile of little bunny turds!" The others burst out laughing, toasting their dishes and spilling sake everywhere before slurping it up.
I shook my head, smiling just a little. "Imagine if your master caught you all down here like this."
"'Ey, whyddya gotta bring her up?" Murasa protested. "It's alright to kick back and have fun every once and a while, right? *hic* "
"I'm sure any proud master would hate to see her disciples get absolutely shitfaced in a bar full of aggressive oni, much less one who is Buddhist and expects all of her followers to abstain from drinking."
"'Ey," Shou said while staring at me, trying to be aggressive but failing. "You suggestin' we shouldn't be out 'ere right now? Don' forget 'yer the one who wanted to bring us down 'ere in the first place!"
"True," I said in between bites of meat, "but you all were going out drinking even without me, even though it is forbidden under your faith."
Minamitsu drained an entire dish in one loud slurp. "I mean, yea, but we're youkai an' we practically run on booze! Ye' 'xpect us notta go out gettin' wasted when By'kuren ain't breathin' on our necks?"
Good lord, she was absolutely hammered.
"I just find it interesting that youkai such as yourselves would become Buddhists in the first place, that beings who are embodiments of human fears and superstitions would choose to seek the path to Nirvana."
"I mean, I guesso," Ichirin said, "but I mean, really, she came in an' save all our asses from our shitty situations!" I silently shook my head. Ichirin otherwise came off as a polite, pleasant woman, but like the others she was a completely different person when she got drunk. "It's not like we actually care that much 'bout 'reachin' Nirvana or somethin', we just all like her that much because she saved us and we owe her lots!"
"Hmm, I see." So, they weren't actually that invested in their Buddhist faith despite their sober insistence and devotion. They just followed Byakuren because they owed substantial debts to her for one reason or another. Certainly, they clung onto her for understandable reasons. Except, it seemed as though they were worshipping her specifically, rather than forging the tough spiritual path of the dharma. It struck me just how effective alcohol was at bringing subconscious thoughts up to the surface, almost as if it were a way to hail their shadows without going to the Metaverse…
...aha. I had possibly our next move in mind: finding at least one of their shadows in order to pump them for clues, by force if need be. If there was one thing shadows could be counted on to do, it was tell the truth, the whole truth, about what the person's true feelings were. I could have started with that, I realized, but I also knew going into the Metaverse wasn't something that could be done lightly, since the ever-present risk of death via the Reaper or another powerful shadow was always present. But now that I had reasonable suspicion that their shadows could hold useful clues, I knew it was worth doing in this case.
What came out of Shou's inebriated lips next, however, would change the complexion of the entire investigation:
"I mean, 'yer right about that, Ichi. An' 'ya gotta remember, it ain't like she's a shinin' paragon of Buddhist faith, either. I mean, she gets all fussy an' shit 'bout her appearance. She's like, what, over a thousand years old and she still hasn't kicked the bucket? I mean, 'ya know, she turned into a youkai 'erself, an' she goes to great lengths to keep from dyin' usin' whatever kinda shit she has shoved into that glowin' sutra scroll of hers. I've heard there's priests Outside who starve themselves to death to mummify themselves, but I don' think Byakuren would ever do that if only to keep from losin' those huge, round boobs and butt of 'ers. Even so, she's still got a way with others and bringin' 'em under her care, 'ya gotta give 'er that!"
The girls, of course, just laughed it off, but I was taken aback by this revelation: Byakuren, when I saw her, didn't come off as the sort of person who seemed to obsess over their appearance or defying death and old age; certainly, doing so would run very contrary to her Buddhist faith, and evading death via supernatural means was a sin in practically every religion. She still didn't spill anything which could be considered a keyword, but I felt I was getting closer to pinning down the nature of her distortion. From what I could gather, she was accumulating followers based not on their own desire to practice Buddhism but rather because she saved them from bad situations and was now collecting "debts" from them as a result, and she herself was not the devout, humble seeker of enlightenment she claimed to be, and was running the temple for potentially selfish reasons. Furthermore, the disciple's loyalty to her resembled worship, as though she were a god enshrined to that temple.
I thought about what this could mean, putting the pieces together and running possibilities through my head, a task not made easy by the ongoing ruckus of the rowdy establishment I was seated in. Based on what I had uncovered, I hypothesised that the distortion was religious in nature, in a way distinct from the temple's Buddhist theme in the real world. I also hypothesised that however Byakuren saw herself, it would have to somehow involve her being the central object of focus and devotion within her fortress. A Shinto shrine was a good bet, but all sorts of temples, churches and other holy sites were also possible and had to be considered.
I continued to consider possibilities as to what her distortion could be, before my concentration was broken by the sound of the door slamming open behind us. All of a sudden, the commotion in the bar came to a screeching halt, bar patrons put down their playing cards and pool cues, and even Yuugi stopped mixing the drink she was working on, as all heads turned toward the hulking, intimidating figure in the doorway: a very tall, very muscular-looking Oni, covered entirely in golden armor. I realized, from my history classes, that this could only be Kin-Ki, one of the oni who served Fujiwara no Chikata, the famed oni summoner. Kin-Ki's body was said to be so strong that no blow could pierce it. And now, here he was. What he was here for, nobody knew, but it was highly unlikely to be low-key, and the extreme tension in the air only added to the fear felt by everyone in the room.
"Alright," Kin-Ki proclaimed, cracking his neck joints, "listen up. I'm here, I'm bored, and I want one of you to amuse me. If you fail, I will beat you to a bloody pulp!" Well, he sure was blunt about his intentions, not that it eased the situation at all. His red, glowing eyes scanned the room, looking for a good victim to impose his will upon. Based on his expression, he wasn't interested in challenging a girl; he was solely interested in the men in the room.
"Hmm…" He took his time, before making his decision. "Let's see… I challenge… the pretty boy!"
And that's when he pointed.
At me.
I did my best not to show fear - and I was very good at doing that - but I could still feel my fingers digging into my barstool as the hulking oni marched toward me with a menacing face.
"You…" His voice was deep and gruff. "You've got a lot of nerve, coming into my bar with a bunch of girls in tow. Whoddya think you're trying to impress, buddy?"
I let out a heavy sigh. "We are merely down here as a group of friends having a pleasant night out drinking. Not everything is about building a harem, after all."
Kin-Ki laughed. "Ohoho, it's like that with all the girly boys, isn't it? You think you can just go around, seducing all the ladies with your girly charm and voice and then you try to deny it when a real man comes by and threatens 'ya?"
I was very tempted to reach into my pocket and pull out the amulet that Reimu gave me for situations such as this one. But not wanting to wreck the bar, and feeling I could still control the situation, I continued my battle of wits against this oni. "I believe real men listen to the wants and feelings of women, not read sex into everything having to do with women, and be able to have friendly relationships with them. Because women are people, too."
Kin-Ki was silent for a moment, before crossing his arms. "Hm. Either you're very brave or very foolish to defy a great and proud oni such as myself. I could simply fight with you right now…"
...er…
"...but I have something much, much worse in mind for smartasses like you."
What could possibly be worse than fistfighting an oni?, I thought to myself, as worried, hushed murmurs emerged from the crowd.
"Like what?" I asked, still trying to hide my fear.
"Oh, you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about… darts."
…
The crowd gasped. "No way, he can't possibly-"
"No one can beat 'im at darts!"
"Oh, that guy's toast!"
...my brain froze as I tried to comprehend what Kin-Ki was suggesting. Darts? As in, dartboards? And it was so scary that getting beat up was apparently the merciful option?
Youkai morals were twisted, indeed. Fortunately, this time that fact worked in my favor.
"...I see," I smiled.
"Oh, is little baby man so scared of darts that you'd throw away all your honor and get mocked so you didn't have to face the great and powerful Kin-Ki?"
I chuckled. "I'll have you know, I am an expert darts player. You don't know what you're getting yourself into by challenging me."
"OH, THAT DOES IT!" He turned towards the back. "HEY, YOU IDIOTS! GET SOME BOARDS OUT HERE FOR ME AND THIS ASSHOLE!" On command, two men came out and hung fresh boards for each of us, then handed us each a set of darts to use. The crowd split off to the sides to watch us, and the girls and Yuugi watched intently as well.
"Lemme show you my skills, pretty boy! You'll be eating your words soon enough!"
"Alright, I said, "but what ruleset will we be using?"
Kin-Ki looked at me. "...eh?"
"I said, what ruleset will we be using? Count-up, or 01?"
"...whaddya mean? 'Ya just score more points than the other guy and 'ya win, right?"
"That's certainly one way to do it," I said, "but another way is to start with a certain score, then remove points so that you score as close to zero as possible, without going past it. It's much harder than scoring up, since it forces you to place your shots very carefully, and sometimes aim for 'bad' spots on the board." I waved my hand. "But, I suppose a proud, headstrong oni like you wouldn't place your pride on the line to push your boundaries and try something new."
Kin-Ki stomped his foot, causing the whole bar to rattle. "Bullshit! I'll play by your rules just to humiliate you even more when I win anyway!"
I smiled. "Well, alright then. Now, what should our starting scores be? 301, 501, or 701-"
"That last one!"
I shrugged. Impatient one, wasn't he? "Okay, 701 it is. Five rounds each, 3 darts per round. I'll let you go first."
Kin-Ki cracked his knuckles. "Awesome! I'll show you how it's done, baby man!" He then swiftly, and rather accurately, flicked all three darts into the bullseye. "There! Three bulls!"
I noted his handiwork. "I see… impressive. I was wrong to doubt you."
"Only a fool would ever doubt me, and I just proved you a fool!" The crowd around him cheered him, and jeered at me, echoing his insults and belittling me for being a "girly man." Of course, this was all part of my plan, building him up and stoking his pride before moving to take him down a notch, and using his own pride against him.
I looked at the board again, acting calm and cool, which impressed the girls and the other inebriated female patrons of the bar. "Well then, fifty points per bull, 150 points, that brings your score down to 551. Now then, it's my turn." I took my darts, and with a flair and a flourish I had practiced for years, threw them all at my targets, hitting my marks precisely in the center.
Kin-Ki pointed and balked. "HAH! You can't even hit a bull!"
"When did I say I was aiming for the bull?" I said back.
"Well, er… you didn't. But still!"
"I aim where I please," I said defiantly. "Besides, I hit the 20, 19 and 18 columns in the 3x multiplier ring, thus bringing my score down to 540. Therefore, I am closer to victory now than you are."
"Grr… you think you're so smart, eh?" He took his darts out of the board to use them again. "Allow me to show you THIS!" Again, his first dart hit the bull, right in the very center, and then each of the other two darts stuck to the back of the last, made possible by small pieces of cork affixed to the back of each dart. "Betcha can't do that, girly boy!"
I took note of his current score, 401, then got ready to throw my darts again. "Well, let's see if I can or not," I said calmly. Again, I selected my target carefully, then stacked each of the darts on top of it.
"Well, well, it looks like I indeed can."
He examined my board. "Not bad… except you hit the edge of the board! You that bad at hittin' bulls or what?!" He wasn't wrong: I hit double 15 three times, bringing my score down to 450, meaning he was currently ahead. "Ha! I betcha I'm ahead of you!"
"Perhaps," I nodded, "but there are still three rounds to go."
"I don't need three rounds to beat 'ya! Lemme show you!" Again, he hit the bull three times in a row, taking him down to 251.
"Why do you always hit the bull, I might ask?"
"'Cause it's hard to hit all the time! You ain't shit if you can't hit the bull!"
"I'm not?" I asked, feigning ignorance. In reality, it was clear that he didn't know as much about darts as he claimed. Sure, hitting the bull was impressive, but it wasn't the smallest target on the board; the 3x multiplier spaces were all smaller, and four of them scored more than the bull. We were going for points, not for trick shots, but he very much prided himself in being able to consistently hit bulls, so I kept playing into his pride. I hit treble 19, treble 1, and double 20, achieving a ton and getting me down to 350. "Welp," I shrugged, "I guess I 'ain't shit.'"
Kin-Ki laughed. "Hey everyone! This girly boy just admitted he ain't shit himself!" The bar erupted into uproarious laughter, and I found myself dodging pieces of fried fish and pool balls as they heckled me.
"Hey hey, don't interrupt their game!" Yuugi called out. "Or do you want me to double all of your tabs?!" That managed to quiet the entire bar, allowing us to continue. Once more, Kin-Ki hit the bull three times, while I went for a perfect score of three treble 20s, bringing us to 101 to 170 for the final round. Once more, he taunted me, but I defiantly shrugged off his provocations.
"Grr… you ain't hittin' the bull, and yet you act all cool an' stuff! You're not a crybaby an' it's pissing me off!"
"And I keep telling you, it's not about hitting bulls, but the spaces which will grant you the points needed to get your score down to zero," I said. "The treble 20 space is worth 60 points, compared to 50 for a bull. Plus, it is a smaller target than the bull, and thus harder to hit. What I'm saying is, hitting it three times is even more impressive than hitting the bull thrice." This, of course, was a bald-faced lie: the actual most impressive feat in all of darts was the so-called "Perfect Finish:" two treble 20's followed by a bull, which required breaking your concentration from one target to focus on another. And it just so happened that this was what I needed to land in order to win.
"Oh, really? Well, if that's the case, then I'll do as you say, and land that 'treble 20' three times!" And so he did: he landed three darts right in the treble 20. I had to give it to him, his accuracy was envious. And yet he seemingly acted without thinking at all about the scoring requirements of 701, instead showing off his "mad skills" for all to see. I happened to glance over at Yuugi right after he landed the second dart; her smirk indicated she knew exactly what had happened, and what I had just done.
"See?! I can do it even better than you! I can do anything better than you, girly boy!"
I clapped sarcastically. "Very good, very good… except for one thing."
"Hm?"
"That last round of yours scored 180 points, but you only had 101 points left. That is, you went over zero. Because of that, you just scored a 'bust,' and therefore your score remains 101."
It took him a moment for him to process what I had said, before he angrily stomped again. "Wh-what? But… but, you just told me to do it!"
"I didn't tell you to do anything," I smiled. "It was your own fault for taking my statement as a dare and ignoring your current score to show off." I then tossed my own darts with grace, landing two treble 20's and a bull, right in the dead-center, bringing my score down to zero. "And thus, I have won the game. And, as you can see, I can hit the bull if I damn well feel like it."
The bar was silent for a few seconds, before the bar patrons all turned their jeers toward Kin-Ki, who knelt down and covered his face in embarrassment and shame. Even the girls got in on it, shouting things like "you got beat by the 'pretty boy!'" and throwing their trash at him. Eventually, he got up, pointed at me, and shouted, "I WILL get my revenge! Just you wait, Mr. Smug Pretty Boy, you'll regret disrespecting THIS oni!" and he stormed out of the bar.
Yuugi came out from behind the counter and applauded me. "Bravo, young man. You just beat that guy at his own game! No one's ever done that before!"
I bowed. "Er, thanks, Hoshiguma-san."
"Eh, just call me Yuugi or Barkeep!" She pulled me in with her arm and turned to the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, we got ourselves a new king of the bar! And you know what that means? That's right, it's time for all of us to commemorate it with a few drinks! Break out the reserve, boys!"
I watched as two men pulled out a cart stacked full of sake bottles.
My eyes widened, and that palpable sense of overwhelming dread filled every last corner of my body, as I immediately knew what was going to happen next.
Before I had a chance to protest, one of the bottles had been shoved into my mouth and tipped so that I was forced to chug it all down. The crowd loudly chanted "CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!" as the foul oni-fermented concoction flowed down my throat, and I could feel myself getting drunker as the fumes aggressively forced their way up my nostrils and contaminated my brain. Once it was finished, I barely had a chance to breathe before the next one was forced in. At that moment, I seriously thought I was going to die of intoxication that night, and I could only hope that either Reimu or Marisa would step in now and do something to get me out of this.
Finally, it was around the third bottle that Marisa's voice called out from the opposite side of the bar, causing the patrons surrounding me to divert their attention to her. I managed to peek around, and saw her, dressed in oni kimonos and with a pair of fake horns glued to her head, holding a microphone and surrounded by a band. "Where did she come from?" one of the patrons asked, "can't say she was in here before."
"Alright, uh, I'm gonna start singin' a song for all of 'ya!" She turned to one of the bandmates and said, "er, just start playin' somethin'! Anythin'!" The band complied, started playing a rock tune, and at a logical moment, Marisa started singing:
" It's a war out there every day,
You can't hide from it, you gotta play by the rules,
Play it cool, gotta laugh in the face of the sad disgrace,
When your friends and foes look alike
On the face of it, they miss their history!
But they fight, over place in it.
Yeah they fight, over place in it.
Hard-hit by the times,
It's just how your life goes by
I know it's not your fault, you say
But there ain't no other way
So step-on-up, to the plaaaaaaate,
Meet your fate, walkin' straight on into the li-on's laaaaair!
Step-on-up, to the plaaaaaaate,
Cause this ain't no gaaaaaame,
It's time to make, history yeeeeeeeeaah! "
The crowd fell in love with the music, and to Marisa's credit, she had an excellent voice for this kind of song. If nothing else, I used the distraction she created to stumble out of the bar, where a still-invisible Reimu grabbed a hold of me and flew me out of the cave, back up toward the surface, and dropped me off in front of the shop. I made my way in (Masato had left the door unlocked for me), went to the bathroom and, err, got the alcohol out of my system, shall we say. I don't have a clear memory of what happened after that, other than that I somehow made it upstairs and onto my futon, and blacked out.
I woke up, and briefly wondered why I didn't have a severe hangover before the blue hues in my field of vision clued me in that I was in the Velvet Room once more.
"Welcome back," Rika smirked. "That oni liquor is some intense stuff, ain't it?"
I looked at her. "Is that what we're here to discuss today, is alcohol?"
"No, it is not," Lavenza bowed, "although I will admit drinking three bottles of oni sake and still being able to remain semi-functional afterward is a rare feat. Instead, my master would like to discuss an important matter with you."
I looked over at Igor, who stared at me expectantly. "This world between dream and reality, mind and matter, life and death, and at the heart of the collective unconscious is populated by many shadows taking the shapes of figures, gods and beliefs imprinted upon the human psyche. But, as you have discovered, Gensokyo is a rare place where these beliefs come to life, shielded from the volatile effects of human cognition outside of the Hakurei Border. Tonight, you have met one such belief, the being known as Kin-Ki, one of the four oni serving Fujiwara no Chikata."
"What of it?" I asked.
Igor chuckled. "You may find that these figures are rather different than the view of them you may have developed in your own mind. Some of these figures, perhaps, you did not previously know existed, either physically or as ideas. Meeting these figures, then, can imprint their image into your psyche, and allow you to form another possibility within yourself."
I thought about what he said. "You mean, as a Persona?"
"Your intuition remains very sharp," Igor complimented. "I encourage you to explore the land as you see fit, and meet as many of these figures as you can, remembering, of course, to be responsible as you do."
I bowed. "I will do my best."
I can now fuse Kin-Ki!
A bell rang, signalling that the night was ending. Darkness enveloped me, and as the Velvet Room faded away I closed my eyes and allowed the void to swallow me whole.
