I am hating college apps. Not only am I applying to US colleges, I'm applying to UK and Japan as well. My life is sucking more than Arien/Reno's...
NarcissisticRiceball - heh, that was my first idea. I'll just kill Arie off and have Reno mope for a bit and then he goes off to do another girl. But then I thought about writing a sequel, and it wasn't going to work out. Resurrecting Arien from the pits took some thought. Weird chapter was a very popular comment. And yes, I know, this story was supposed to end with the funeral. But it didn't. She's alive... (damn)
ODST girl058 - Your thoughts will be answered in this chapter. Weird is quite the right word to describe the last chapter. I'll be posting (after review thanks) what went on in very few, short terse sentences, so everything will be cleared up. As I said before, in my original plan of this story Arien was supposed to remain quite dead, but then I didn't know how to do the sequel to this. So I resurrected her.
Echo - that's right. She was legally dead for about 5 days, I assume. And then she started breathing again. It's a medical miracle, and since Jesus wasn't around, don't ask me how. If it comes to the worst, I'll just blame Sephiroth. Poor silver-haired Adonis seems to be responsible for everything that defies logic, including Cloud's hair.
Reaping but Never Grim - At least Reno isn't a necrophiliac. Then I'd just kill him off and be done with this story. Alas, I don't think Reno digs for dead people. Poor Reno is acting quite obnoxious in this chapter. But then, Reno is always obnoxious to someone at some time. So it makes me wonder what Arien sees in him. I'd be kicking him out of my house if he was my boyfriend.
CookieKitten - Your confusion will be solved very soon, hopefully. I'll be putting a review of the previous chapter because it weirded out/confused many people. It confused me too, because it wasn't supposed to happen like that, but it did. Oh well. What can I say? Honestly, the last chapter wasn't very well written in my opinion. But hey, I have slumps. This chap is better.
Insanity - my classes suck. I love Physics, and people around me are always talking. I want to smack them, and I guess this is how Tseng feels all the time. Poor Tseng. College apps are making my life miserable as well. I can understand why Reno hates paperwork. You can only write your name so many times before you start to see hallucinations and feel like you're on vodka and amphetamine. (Not that I've tried...)
Princess Starr - You got a job? Good for you! I'm such a lazy bum that I don't work ever. I just mooch off my parents and make their life miserable. I love spending money as far as it's not mine... not that I can, anyway, I'm constantly broke and currently I have 12 cents in my wallet. Hey, as far as you read my story, I'll love you. And occasionally leave a review, so I know that you're reading my story.
Here's the review that's long-awaited.
Review: Reno discovered that Arien died in the hospital, not when he killed her. He gave her a nice funeral in Wutai. Arien's father gave Reno the letter Arien wrote to him before she died, explaining why she had left him. Reno was quite depressed.
A few days after the burial, Arien came back to life. (She was comatose, so to speak.) She used Pink Floyd, which can disintegrate non-living thing to atomic levels, and got out of the coffin. She went to her father's house for shelter.
And here's where the story picks up.
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Chapter 23: Always a Chance
Rufus Shinra was feeling awfully melancholic. After arguing about the merits of rebuilding the Shinra Company from scratch – and dealing with something that Rufus was completely inexperienced – with Reno and telling him that there was always another chance, he promptly had Tseng escort the redhead out of his room. Reno left with a very ugly scowl on his face. And now it was raining, and he was feeling nostalgia and melancholy. He didn't exactly know why as he stared out the window, down to the forest which shielded the entrance to Healin Lodge.
"Sir?"
Tseng Uzuki had been a loyal subordinate, a good friend to Rufus. Reno was fun, Rude was reliable, but Tseng was loyal to the bone. "Tell me, Tseng."
"Yes?"
"Have you ever loved anyone?"
Tseng was startled, taken aback at this question. "Loved, sir?" He reiterated. "I don't believe so, sir. May I inquire why?"
"I think I have," Rufus said absently. He touched the window with his fingertips, his breaths drawing white mist on the pane. "It is difficult to say… Say, Tseng, how far have we gotten with Sephiroth?"
"We're nearly finished, sir. Arien DeVir's bloodline proved to be a substantial contribution to his genetic encoding, which may point out the reason why Sephiroth had such immense powers. We are nearly done coding Arien DeVir's gene. Thankfully she left the cell samples before she died. Although she does not have Jenova's cells, she received the same kind of mako treatments, which may have caused similar genetic mutations."
"Tseng," Rufus said suddenly, "all of your Turks have received sufficient mako treatments, enough to alter the gene pools. It was a sheer dumb luck that DeVir was able to procreate with that idiot, not to mention a miracle. They shouldn't have been able to in the first place. I've never received mako treatments… does it make you feel any different? Be honest here."
"Yes sir," Tseng said complacently, but Rufus could tell that he was slightly vexed with such question. "You're altered forever… I was prepared for it, but I believe the younger you are, more trauma you get. That is why Veld set age limit for Turks applications. Reno was the youngest, and I heard DeVir tell that he still has nightmares occasionally, no doubt DeVir as well. You feel as if you're a mutation of a terrible experiment for the first few days."
"And thus Turks get admitted for the lack of 'moral, mercy, or any remotely human semblance', yes?"
"They say so, sir. But, if I may say so," Tseng replied, "we may be the most humane of the Shinra Company."
"You may go," Rufus waved a negligent hand. When Tseng left, Rufus admitted to himself that Healin without Arien DeVir seemed to be emptier than before. "What am I thinking?" Rufus asked himself. "She is just one of the pawns, that's all."
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Reno did not come back to Healin or The Edge house that night. He picked up a random girl who foolishly came with him for some reason. After making a very violent love to her, he ordered her to get out of the room.
"You just took me here to fuck me like that? Like that?" The girl shrieked.
"Get out," Reno said tiredly. This was the third one in the week, and he was getting sick of it.
"I fucking hate your guts. I never wanna see you again."
"And I care because…?"
"Fuck you." Slam. Hasty footsteps echoed in the dingy hotel room, as Reno closed his eyes in the unfamiliar bed. He absentmindedly placed his left hand over his eyes, palm outward. Apparently sex wasn't the answer. He uncorked the bottle stashed under the bed, sloshed its contents into his mouth, not really caring that the amber liquid made a lone path down his chin and onto the dirty sheets. God. That bitch. He had stepped into something infinitely sticky and he couldn't get out.
Arien. Thoughts, memories were tangled in his mind around his own. Without his bidding, or even his wish, the memories came back to him, haunting him. They were simple memories, nothing dramatic or romantic, but something very ordinary, like her cooking, washing dishes, ironing, lazing on a deck chair in the garden. Then more memories came to him, perhaps an aftermath of the sex, except that he actually took unusual pleasure in those activities with… her. Call him an chauvinistic dominating jerk, but he liked it when the self-controlled woman completely lost it to him. There was something infinitely satisfying about it.
He remembered her face in vivid detail, each expression engraved in his memories; when she was laughing, when she was happy, when she was sad, when she was angry, when she was annoyed. When she was under him, moving with him, her mouth agape, eyes closed, her fingers tangled in his hair. Her voice, controlled articulations of each word. Her gestures, each one small but precise.
"God!" He shouted, and he sat up. The chill air attacked his naked skin like thousand prickling pins. "Oh god, Arien, why did you do this? Where did we go wrong?"
All he got as the response was silence. Fingering the ring around his neck, he sat, deep in thought, wondering what she was doing now. But she was dead. She was dead, and she was six feet under.
And he had to go on alone. He wasn't sure if he was entirely up for the challenge.
The next morning turned out to be equally hellish. Just as he was getting out of the car and trying to get into the house (the house in the Edge), he felt a spatter of water. Then another. Then another.
"Aw shit," he said, looking up. "Ya know, the rain before was okay. But this is gettin' outta hand."
The rain did not listen. Instead, it just got worse. He was tired. He was tired of old people, young people. He hated everyone.
He opened the door, locked it behind him, ambled upstairs, and collapsed on the bed. Then he promptly fell asleep.
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Reno was back at the house in The Edge. Unlike the previous times when Arien was gone, it didn't hurt as badly. Arien was truly gone, he killed her with his own hands, it was his finger that pulled the trigger. But in a way, by killing her, Reno had a sick sense of satisfaction that now she was truly his. It was already two weeks, Reno mused. The satisfaction was sickening and grossly perverted, but he felt it nevertheless. Now her body was in Wutai, sleeping an eternal slumber in the place where she loved, but her spirit – her being – still lived in the house, where the things she had touched still existed. When he slept at night he could almost feel Arien sleeping next to him, her face relaxed and easy with the knowledge that he was there.
Reno untangled himself from the sheets. He didn't bring anyone in here. Sure, he slept around sometimes ever since she walked out, but here, here was a sacred place between them; where their child was conceived was probably in this bed; where they cried, laughed, made love. He had fallen asleep in jeans but nothing else, and the chill air caressed his chest, and he shivered. Scratching his head, he stood up and stretched, then stared out the window, where it was raining. He opened the window wide, looking out to the garden and the small path that led from the garden into the streets. The cold smell of the rain was gentle, taking in the fragrances of the plants as they got nourished by the clean rain.
Walking out the bedroom, he stepped into the clean kitchen, poured some milk, and drank it as he popped a slice of bread into the toaster. As he waited, he smoked absently, opening the window above the sink as well. He nearly forgot about the toast as it popped out of the toaster. Throwing away the cigarette into the sink with a flick of a finger, he poured himself another glass of milk, buttered the toast, and took a small bite out of it. The toast's smell, mixed with the butter's, was delicious. Leaning on the counter, he popped in two more slices. He was starving.
As he took the second bite, this one larger, the doorbell rang. He slammed down the glass on the counter, then walked to the back door angrily, wondering who the hell was at the door in this pouring rain. Toast still in his mouth, he removed the chain from its place, turned the lock, grasped the doorknob and turned it left, then drew the door wide open.
The person was already leaving, but her long ponytail made it obvious who she was. She A black turtleneck covered her lithe body. She was wearing jeans, just like the time after when they last connected. She was already walking away, not looking back, her gait firm and sure. He paused, not sure if he should call her name or not – after all, she did use him like trash – and decided that if he lost this chance, there would be no another. He opened his mouth, took a deep breath.
"Arien!"
She turned, showing her pale face. God, she was still exquisite. Her slanted, almond-shaped blue-green eyes, her small mouth. Her elegantly arched eyebrows. zHer eyes narrowed slightly, then returned to its original shape and size. He watched her walk back, her shoes splashing the mud in the heavy torrent of rain. He spoke again when she was barely inches away from him.
"Why the fuck are you here? Tired of your new toy? Homeless? Well, sorry, babe, Reno's not for service tonight."
"No, I didn't come for that." Her voice was composed. She looked up, stared straight into his eyes, her eyes willful and determined. "I do not ask for your forgiveness. Knowing you, that is beyond your capability. But you were uninformed. You weren't given a chance. And I think you deserve the truth." She looked to her left, but Reno could see a small hint of sad smile on her face. "I was dishonest." She looked back at him. "I think it's time for me to be honest. I thought you should know that I'm alive." He felt her gaze. "Not that it matters, it's irreparable now, but I wish we would have ended some other way."
They stared at each other for a few minutes, then Arien broke the stare. "Well," she said, "I should be off. I won't bother you again. But don't let me hold you back, okay? You're entitled to be loved by another. Use that right." She walked a few steps, then turned again. "I love you."
With that, she was walking away. Reno thought that maybe he noticed a glimpse of tears in her eyes.
"Wait!" The toast dropped from his mouth, but he never really noticed. He ran after her as she waited for him, shoulders slightly sagging. Her eyes were calm and composed; her upper body was twisted his way.
"What did you just say?" He said breathlessly, his face inches away from hers. "What did you just say?"
"I said, 'I love you'," Arien replied coolly.
"You fucking liar!"
"Why would I lie?" she asked curiously, but he wasn't going to fall into that ruse.
"Because, if you loved me, why the hell would you say what you said when you left, you bitch? Huh? Care to explain that?"
"I thought I explained that," she replied coolly. Then she walked out in the rain, without an umbrella, her turtleneck quickly getting soaked. She walked out the garden, looking up, as if she was trying hard not to let the tears fall. Then she turned and went down the street without even looking back.
Reno felt sad for some reason, so he retrieved the explanative letter from the table. He pressed the letter to his face, feeling something hot and wet course down his cheeks. It smelled of lavender. Goddamn it. God. He loved her, still. And with this, he was ready to forgive everything. And she loved him.
What a mess.
The ink smudged as moisture landed on the paper. She believed it was too late to change anything. And Reno believed that too. Then, unbidden, Rufus's words came back to him.
There is always a chance…
Reno dashed into the bedroom, threw a black shirt on, grabbed the car keys, and ran outside into the pouring rain. His unbuttoned shirt flapped against his skin, and the rain painted rivulets of water down his chest. He didn't care. He cranked up the engine, and sped out of the driveway, his eyes looking for one person.
Arien was walking down the street. She was no longer looking up; she was feeling the rain on her face, walking as she looked forward, as if she was eager to get to her destination – or leave her previous one. The rain that had saved her. It was a little too late, but she was glad that she got rid of Geostigma. As far as she could see, there was no one walking outside. No big wonder there; it was still pouring. The turtleneck she was wearing was soaked now, along with her jeans. She welcomed the water on her skin. It hid her tears. She hated crying.
A loud honk jolted her from her walk, and she turned around. She raised her eyebrow as Reno stuck his head out from the driver's seat window of the silver convertible, and yelled, "Get in!"
"Why!" She yelled back.
"I need to talk to you!"
Arien guessed that if she refused, Reno would just either run her over or chase her in his car, and seeing that she was walking and he wasn't, she stood no chance when it came to a chase. She walked a few steps back, walked in front of the car, opened the passenger seat door, seated herself, and slammed the door shut. Reno turned the hazard light off after pulling up to the side of the street, turned the engine off as well. Arien was staring out the window.
"Arien."
"Hmm?" She turned; he grabbed her and kissed her on the mouth. It was a very eager kiss, and for a moment she wondered what he was thinking. Then she reluctantly drew herself away from him, and looked at him.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"We can't do this, Reno," she said as if she was explaining it to a three-year-old.
"Why not?" No Reno-isms, yo's, idiosyncracies; Reno's eyes were serious, earnest. He looked like a small boy waiting desperately for approval. Her approval. His aquamarine eyes were wide, and his glib, sly smile was gone. She wanted to hug him, kiss him, tell him that everything was going to be okay. But since everything wasn't going to be okay, she didn't do anything.
"Well…" she paused, pursed her lips, and thought. "We got into a big enough mess that we can't really repair it, you know?"
"Why not?" Reno asked as he turned on the engine and pulled out of the spot slowly. "What can't we mend?"
"We hurt each other too much, Reno. It'd be better to just forget about it." It hurt to say it, but it was out. "You'll be better off finding another person who didn't hurt you."
"Don't ever say that!" He shouted, and slammed on the brakes so hard that the tires screeched into an angry halt. She was glad she had remembered to wear a seatbelt. "Look, Arie. Do you love me?"
She was staring out the window, no answer.
"Arie! Answer me!" He reached out a hand and jerked her face toward him. Her eyes gleamed. She could almost feel his warm breath on her face. "Now, tell me truthfully, Arien. Do you love me?"
She said nothing, and her eyes pleaded not to ask. Now that it wasn't her taking the initiative, she was unwilling to repeat that sentence.
"Arie, I'm gonna bug you till you answer."
"I do. I love you, I guess, if that's the precise word." She shrugged.
"Good. Because I want to be with you. You want to be with me. We'll turn back and go back home, you take a shower, maybe we'll have apologetic sex, then we'll start this over. End of discussion."
"No, Reno. We can't do this over. No matter how much we want it." She made it sound final.
"Arie." He turned his head and looked at her. "Arie, you nearly killed me before. Now you're really killing me. Why can't you just be honest with what you want and deal with it?"
"Because that's me," she answered, staring outside the window.
"Arie, you're killing me!" Reno screamed. "I don't beg. I never do, not to Rufus, not to Tseng. I don't do that shit. Ever. But I'm begging you. Right now. We can start over. I'll have the scar you gave me on my arm, and you'll have mine. But we can still start over."
Arien's lips quivered. "I don't know what to do."
"Then you can come back with me. Live with me. No more buts." He looked at her. "And you are not getting out of the car. We're going the wrong way, Arie, and we're going at 100 miles per hour."
"Then why aren't we heading toward the correct direction?" She managed to quip.
Reno laughed. "Maybe I will." He illegally made a U-turn on the highway and went back the way they came. "Ready to go home?"
Arien gave him a shy look, then nodded. Reno nearly laughed at himself. Two years ago, he'd never have done this. He'd never have chased after a woman, screamed at her that she was killing him, never would have begged. Although he changed her, she also changed him. Permanently.
I serve my head up on the plate, it's only comfort calling late...
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Shower turned out to be a huge affair. Arien insisted on cleaning the house – which took two hours – and then after that she took a shower. It was already one o'clock in the afternoon when she finally came out with a fresh bath towel wrapped around her body. Reno, who was sitting on the edge of a large double bed, looked at her appreciatively, her legs bare and her hair in wet tendrils on her pale shoulders. "That's right," he said, nodding.
"Shut up."
"Mmhmm." He hopped onto his feet. "My turn."
Minutes later he was stepping out of the clean bathroom with a white towel around his hips. Arien was not in the room; but from the smells of it, she was cooking. He grinned slightly. In a few days they would start over again.
Lunch and dinner were casual occasions. Arien changed the sheets on the bed and took a shower again. Reno was again seated on the bed (not on the edge this time), and lamplight shed a gentle, dark honey-colored light in the room. He was in boxers and nothing else. Arien, yet again with a bath towel wrapped around her and her hair wet, blushed as he watched her move. Her hair melted into fiery auburn in the soft light, and the shadows cast gentle silhouettes on her pale skin.
"Mmm," he grinned slightly as she sat down perpendicular to him. He wrapped his bare arms around her and pulled her slowly into him. She sighed slightly as she let herself go. She let his hands touch her, heard him whisper, kiss her.
Sex was a strange thing. Last time, it was a mark of farewell. This time, it was the beginning. Arien felt the weight of the body on her, his own face contorted in ecstasy. She didn't wish to take back the past. They'll start over again.
He sighed contentedly, his red hair on his face, and sucked on her lips. This time, she returned the kiss. She touched the slight red crescents on Reno's cheeks.
She loved him. Yes, she could admit that openly and anytime now. She smiled.
"Why smilin', yo?" Reno-ism was back. She looked at him, stared into his eyes. Followed the contours of his delicate face, young, with a boyish grin. With a kiss, she sealed his mouth, laid her head on his chest. It was warm, and moving, steadily with his breaths.
"Nothing." She smiled again to herself, let her hand touch his skin. The ring, back on her finger now and sitting there complacently like it was always there, flashed under the light. "I love you."
