A/N: Argh. It seems that the night before I go to Otakon, everything goes wrong. My sister is missing a part of her costume, we can't get ahold of other members of our group, we can't find the map, we forgot to take our change to coinstar (those dealers are going to hate being paid in my spare change, but oh well) we didn't get our preregister in on time and we have to pay more money to get in at the front desk... and many others.
Perhaps I may not even go tomorrow, if things continue to go wrong. Anime USA is in November, a lot closer, and I'll have more money if I just save up from now. Plus, I'll be able to stay longer if I go to that one...
So, I am not in a good mood right now. Perhaps things will be great tomorrow and I'll be happier, but if things turn out like Katsucon (one of our group members sprained her ankle at the con, and we spent a few hours in the clinic with her) then I still won't be in a good mood.
Murphy's Law, I will KILL you.
Enough of my bitching. The only good thing is, considering that this chapter is still about Kagome and Inuyasha's fight, all my pent up anger was well used. (Poor Inuyasha...)
Chapter 24: Like Old Times
I was so angry after what Inuyasha had said that I could barely sleep that night. I remember sitting up with a sour look on my face, thinking over and over how much I wasmad at him. I was so upset that I had forgotten that Inuyasha and I had gotten possessed and had almost repeated the scene from ten years ago. He had said just the right thing to get me furious; he had spelled it out that he still didn't trust me.
Besides my earlier worries about what Inuyasha would think of me when it finally came to that, him not trusting me was something else that had bothered me. I knew that Inuyasha had a hard time trusting people, but he had always told me that I was the first person he was able to trust. And it meant a lot to me, almost more than him loving me. I had decided long ago that even if he could not love me, it was enough that he trusted me.
And yet he had spilled it out that no matter what I said, he still thought I would reject him because he was a hanyou. On one hand, this made me want to pity him, since he had lived with these scars on his heart all his life, but on the other, it made me want to curse him because he believed that I would lie to him about how I felt.
I knew he wasn't the best person with words but still…it had hurt me so much to hear him confirm one of my fears. And though sometimes I felt bad later about sitting him or other punishments I had inflicted, I felt no guilt at all about slapping him that night. He deserved it, and he knew he deserved it.
But this did make me fear for our relationship as a whole. If he still couldn't trust me now, then how could he ever trust me if we decided to take our relationship further? How could he trust me years down the road, if he always believed that I would one day leave him because of what he was? Our relationship was built on trust, and how could we hope to have one if there was no trust at all?
The next morning, the others noticed the cold tension between Inuyasha and Kagome. They didn't speak to one another, but sometimes, Kagome would glare in Inuyasha's direction, and he would glance at her with longing eyes, trying to find a way to apologize.
After all, the hanyou knew that him apologizing was the only way to fix this mess. But he didn't know how to go about it; he was smart enough to know that a simple "sorry" wouldn't cut it this time. And how could he apologize for something when he had actually meant it?
I didn't mean to say that I didn't trust her, he admitted, folding his arms and glaring at her. But its true—there's no reason she should feel this way about me, a hanyou…and I'm always afraid that she'll realize and leave me one day…but how am I supposed to say that to her?
All left the village with a foul mood the next day. As they left in silence, they heard a snippet of conversation from the villagers, "I could have sworn I heard the voices of the tragic lovers again last night, but I went to the glade this morning and there's no one there…"
Kagome and Inuyasha immediately stiffened and blushed red, though it didn't seem their companions noticed too much.
While the rest of their traveling went in silence, Shippou jumped up on Miroku's shoulder and whispered into his ear, "Is it just my imagination, or does there seem to be some tension between Inuyasha and Kagome?"
The monk glanced at the two and sighed, "No, it's not just your imagination." Kagome wasn't even being carried on Inuyasha's back like normal, she was marching ahead of the group, a frown fixed on her face. Inuyasha on the other hand, hung back towards the rest of their friends, with a glare on his face as well, but every so often it would drop, and a guilty look would replace it as he glanced at her.
"Given how it always is, I'd say its Inuyasha's fault," the kitsune whispered, Miroku nodding in agreement.
Walking up to meet the hanyou's stride, he asked softly, making sure to keep out of Kagome's earshot, "So, tell me, Inuyasha, what has you and Kagome-sama in such a foul mood this morning?"
Turning away, he growled, "It's none of your business."
"You said something to make her angry, didn't you?" Shippou accused with narrowed eyes, before the hanyou lost it.
"So you're going to pin this all on me, are you? Well, listen here, if she didn't take things the wrong way all the time, then she would have understood what I was trying to say!" He glanced in the direction of Kagome's back, who, it seemed, everyone but the hanyou could see the fiery red flames surrounding her, and the way she clenched her fists. "Do you hear that, Kagome? If you hadn't taken it the wrong way, then perhaps you would have understood for a change!"
Instead of continuing on, Kagome stopped walking, making everyone except Inuyasha back away. "Inuyasha," she said in a psudo-calm voice. "I'm getting hungry, can we stop?"
"What? We just got started! Hear this wench, we've got a long way ahead of us and—"
A hand was promptly clamed over the hanyou's mouth. "S-sure, we can stop!" Sango said, still looking a bit frightened at Kagome's actions.
"It's no trouble," the monk replied, pulling Inuyasha away as the girls began to set up camp.
Shrugging out of Miroku's grip, Inuyasha roared, "What's with you, monk! I told you, we don't have time for this if we ever want to defeat Naraku—"
Sighing, the monk replied, "Do you ever want to make up with Kagome-sama, Inuyasha?"
Growling again, Inuyasha glared, "I told you it was none of your business, monk."
"It is our business when we don't want to have to travel with things so rough between you and Kagome-sama. Now tell me, Inuyasha, what did you say to her?"
Folding his arms, the hanyou looked away, muttering, "Keh."
"He said what?" Sango gasped, as Kagome told her the story.
"I know!" Kagome glared, while pulling out food from her backpack. "We were just talking, and all of a sudden he was getting all distant towards me, and then he tells me that he doesn't trust me!"
Looking up at her while munching on his pocky, Shippou asked, "You said the word, didn't you?"
"Not at first. When I heard him say that, I lost it and slapped him—"
"He deserved it," the exterminator added, nodding.
"And after he insulted my when he didn't realize why I was upset, then I sat him."
Shippou shook his head. "That baka! Doesn't he get it?"
Deciding against any ramen for now and shoving it back in her backpack, Kagome muttered, "Well, if he doesn't now, I hope someone will at least knock some sense into him."
Miroku's staff came down on Inuyasha's head with a thunk!
"Hey! What was that for, monk!" the hanyou roared, rubbing the spot on his head where he was hit.
The monk swiped at him again. "You baka! You said that to her? What were you thinking?"
"I was just trying to get her to understand!" Inuyasha bellowed.
"You did a hell of a job of it!"
Pointing back towards the camp and Kagome, the hanyou yelled, "Well, what was I supposed to say to her?"
Rolling his eyes, the monk explained, "You weren't supposed to say anything at all about this to her. If you tell a woman that you don't trust her, that's almost as bad as saying you don't love her. And in your situation, it's worse."
Blushing slightly and turning away, Inuyasha muttered, "She was getting too far ahead of herself and it had been bothering me for a while, so what was I supposed to say?"
Raising an eyebrow, the monk asked, "What exactly do you mean by 'getting too far ahead of herself'?"
Turning even rudder, Inuyasha muttered, "Nothing."
Sighing, Miroku began to explain, "Inuyasha, I understand that you may have some problems trusting people, but you shouldn't take it out on Kagome-sama. If she's stayed with you this far and hasn't rejected you yet, then I think it's a good bet she won't reject you in the future. You see, unless you convince them properly, most women are always, in the back of their minds, afraid that we will reject them because of something. That is why the simplest comment can get them fired up like that. You must heed the signals they give you and make sure you quell any fears they have before things like this get out of hand."
"Keh. Easy for you to say, you womanizer," the hanyou muttered, but was secretly thinking it over in his mind. Was she really afraid I wouldn't trust her and reject her all this time?
"You know you must apologize, Inuyasha. She won't just forgive you for something like this."
"I know that!" he shot back, pouting. "I've been trying to think of how to apologize to her for a while."
"You must make her feel like she is the most important thing on this earth at that moment," the monk advised. "Say nice things about her looks, about what she does to you, how much you feel about her, and then humbly beg her forgiveness for your utter stupidity. Tell her you didn't mean it in that way, and never meant to imply that you didn't trust her. Speak of how you are nothing with out her and how much you have missed her and say how much you want, no, need her back with you. And don't have it sound too rehearsed, or she'll never listen."
"Then what am I supposed to say?"
Grinning, Miroku replied, "Speak with your heart, women love that." He pointed to where Kagome was seated away from the camp. "Now go, and may luck be with you, Inuyasha!"
"Hey, wait a minute—" the hanyou yelled as the monk pushed him towards her, but he sighed, and decided to try anyway. Kagome was already mad at him, what else did he have to lose?
When he sat down next to her, Kagome turned away. "Hey."
"Hey what?" she replied, her voice monotone, and still upset.
After a pause, his ears drooped lower on his head. This was going to be harder than he thought. "You're still mad, aren't you?" No answer. Sometimes, it was scarier when she didn't reply then when she did. Speak with your heart…He listened, trying to see if his 'heart' would tell him what to say. But he got nothing. Lazy, good for nothing…
"Um…Look…I didn't mean it that way…I just…"
"You what?" She still wasn't looking back at him, but she had answered. That was an improvement, right?
He sighed again. Inuyasha knew he was heading into dangerous territory, but he felt like he needed to say it for her to understand. "It's just…when you started talking about…that thing…I got a little nervous. You were just making it sound like you wanted it right away and I—"
"I what?" Kagome turned around sharply, and Inuyasha swore he saw all the fires of Hell shoot out of her eyes. No doubt about it, he was dead meat this time. He cowered as she started screaming. "So now you're going to blame this all on me? And you're saying that I sounded like that? How dare you imply that I'm that easy! Sit!" And down he went, but she wasn't quite finished. "You don't even try to apologize, you just blame it all on me now, is that it? Sit, sit sit sit sit! Is that all I can expect from you now, Inuyasha, you don't trust me and you don't take responsibility for when it's your fault? Sit sit sit! I hope your back hurts for all this, Inuyasha! Sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit, sit!"
She was right about one thing, his back was killing him. But he could have sworn he smelled tears, but at this point, he was too mad to care. Popping his head back up, he saw her standing up above him with a look of fury on her face, but her eyes were teary after all. He roared back, "Listen, wench—!"
"Sit!" With her sitting him like this he'd never finish his apology!
"Kagome, whatever!" he yelled once he had the strength to pull his head back up again. "All I was trying to do was apologize for what I said last night, and now you're doing this to me? Maybe I shouldn't trust you, if this is all I should expect!"
He clamped his eyes shut, waiting to feel the sit command and any moment pull him down once more, but it never came. When he opened one eye to check and see if she had left, to his surprise, she hadn't—she was still standing over him, but all anger had left her face. And he couldn't have felt worse; tears flowed down her face and she looked as if her heart had been broken. Now it was even worse than the night before. "K-Kagome…"
She didn't say a word, but turned around with a sob, running away towards the forest. Inuyasha was still sprawled on the ground, but he watched her, the woman he loved so much, run away because of something he had said.
"Inuyasha you baka! How could you do that to Kagome!" Shippou yelled, jumping in the hanyou's face.
"Just shut up already!" he roared, slamming the kitsune to the ground with one first.
This time, the exterminator couldn't keep her silence. "Shippou's right, Inuyasha. Kagome was already upset because of what you said, and now you just broke her heart!"
"I'm afraid I have to agree with my dear Sango, Inuyasha," Miroku piped up. "It doesn't matter who said what the first time, this time, you were definitely in the wrong."
"I know, okay!" he bellowed, folding his arms and looking away, towards the darkening sky. Ever since Kagome had run away, no one had gone after her for fear of prompting her wrath. They didn't worry about her safety; he could still smell her scent close by and knew nothing had happened to her. But it had been hours, and he was getting worried about her, and also missing her himself.
He had known it was his fault without his friends telling him, but after they followed the sounds of Kagome's tirade and found him sprawled on the ground, it was obvious what had happened. He had done the one thing he had done so many times and hated much more—he had hurt her with words.
"Inuyasha, are you going to go apologize?" the monk asked, sitting across from the campfire.
"Why should I?" he growled. "She'll just get mad at me and 'sit' me again if I try!"
The hanyou felt another knock on his head, with Shippou yelling, "You've got to go after Kagome! If you don't, she'll think you really meant what you said!"
"Listen here, runt!" Inuyasha growled, grabbing the kitsune by the tail, "This here is my business, not yours, or anybody else's, mine!"
"If you and Kagome-sama didn't fight and disrupt our peace every so often, then it wouldn't be our business, Inuyasha," Miroku answered. "But Shippou is right. You have to go after her, right now, or else all is lost."
Growling and glaring at all his friends, Inuyasha tossed Shippou aside, muttering things to himself about opinions and why they should be kept to themselves. Then, with a pout on his face, he marched off towards the forest, and towards Kagome.
He didn't know how to try to apologize to her this time for hurting her twice already. Speak to her with my heart, eh? He tried to recall what else the monk had said. Say nice things to her…tell her how much I miss her…
After he went a little ways into the forest, he found her, standing in front of a tree that reminded him of Goshinboku—where they had first met. And then, he knew what he had to do.
He walked slowly up to her; she didn't turn around. When Inuyasha was completely behind Kagome, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him, glad she didn't pull away. The hanyou's heart sank after he smelled her tears, and he couldn't afford to get her mad a third time.
"Kagome…I'm sorry," he told her softly, his ears drooping. "You know its always been hard for me to say things in the right words. What I was saying yesterday didn't mean that I didn't trust you at all, Kagome…You were the first person I could ever trust Kagome, and I still trust you, more than anyone else."
She didn't speak, but he did hear her give a slight gasp at that. Perhaps it was a good sign. Inuyasha continued, "Yesterday, I was just a little overwhelmed. I had always believed that I would be lonely all my life and then…you were offering to…" His ears drooped a little bit more. "I didn't know what to do. I don't think we're ready for that, Kagome. And with Naraku still out there…it's dangerous. I'm sorry if what I said hurt your feelings, but you know when I'm put in a spot like that, I say a lot of things I don't mean."
Kagome was trembling against him. Did that mean she was about to cry? Or about to lash out and sit him again? He hoped that wasn't the case, he hadn't finished yet. "I really am sorry, Kagome. And…I'm beginning to miss you too…I love you, Kagome, and I hate it when I make you cry…Can you please forgive me?"
She was silent again, before turning to him, with tears in her eyes. He instantly stiffened before noticing that she was smiling instead of crying. "You don't have to ask, Inuyasha."
He felt a smile creep on to his face as well. "Kagome…" he murmured, hugging her tightly to his chest. He was forgiven.
When he looked into her eyes once more, reflecting the light of the stars, he couldn't help it—he kissed her. He felt joy in his heart like never before when she kissed him back. And that was when he knew he didn't have to worry; Kagome loved him as a hanyou, for who he was, despite all his flaws.
He didn't deserve her, but then again, even if he didn't, he never wanted to let her go now.
So depsite all those hurtful words he had said to me earlier, we made up. I always knew he wasn't the best person with words, after all...and I had decided on forgiving him long before he came back to apologize to me. Our fight and my anger was soon forgotten, as long as the events of the night before in the Lovers' Glade.
But we should have remembered them. After all, even if we didn't finish the scene from the tragic lovers ten years ago, we did begin it, and the same was for the curse...It didn't kill all three of us, Inuyasha, myself, and any child we would make, but it did begin to take effect, though it would not take a life until much, much later...
Sango glanced from behind a tree watching Inuyasha and Kagome embrace. Well, it looked like despite what Inuyasha could say to get her mad, he could always say the right thing at other times instead. She turned away to walk back to camp, satisfied that Kagome was able to forgive Inuyasha easily, before she ran right into the very person she had hoped to avoid at this moment—Miroku.
"H-Houshi-sama?" she said with a blush.
Glancing towards the woods, the monk asked, "So, taking that I don't hear of any screams from our hanyou, I take it they made up?"
She nodded, but didn't look back at him. At least one of the couples in the group had come to an understanding, but one had not…
Sango knew it was coming when Miroku said, "Sango…about that day in the cave, we never talked about it."
"W-what is there to talk about?" she asked, wishing he would just leave well enough alone.
"Sango, something's been bothering you, ever since that day in the cave," he replied simply, waiting for her answer.
Her blush deepened as she remembered how he had almost kissed her. "Maybe I wasn't quite ready for that, Houshi-sama…we were getting a little ahead of ourselves."
"Ahead of ourselves?" The monk put a hand on her shoulder, trying to get her to listen. "Sango, we're engaged, I doubt that we were 'getting ahead of ourselves'. I understand if you were uncomfortable, and I apologize, but I—"
"Then maybe we shouldn't be engaged," she cut in, making Miroku's violet eyes open wider. She was calling off their engagement?
"Sango…"
Turning back to him, she replied simply, "I just…I need some time to think, Houshi-sama." She started to go back to the camp making the warning bells clang in Miroku's head.
"Sango, wait, please, let me understand—"
"There's nothing to understand, Houshi-sama," Sango told him, continuing to walk away. "I just want some space for a while." With that she left him alone.
Miroku stood in the middle of the forest, all alone, before glancing back at Kagome and Inuyasha, who it appeared, were still making up. And here I thought hours before that I was the lucky one, He thought grimly, before walking away.
"Hey, what's that?" one of the villagers pointed to the black, lopsided shape on the horizon.
Other men crowded towards him as the shape got closer. "It looks like a wisp of cloud."
"It's getting closer…and larger."
Now the women of the village also glanced up at the sky. "Wait a minute…it's not a cloud…it's a flock of birds!" one woman gasped, pointed as well as they could see the flutter of wings.
"They're flying over us pretty fast."
"Wait…" the one that had noticed the cloud was the one to make the observation. "They're heading towards us!"
The villagers barely had time to part and hide in the safety of their huts when the youkai birds gave a screech and zoomed towards them, their pointed beaks heading for the first human they saw…
