Chapter 12
Lexie sat stiffly against the wall outside of Snape's office. The wall was cold and hard, much like the cement block wall she'd been leaning against a few weeks prior in Hogsmead. Not conducive for sitting against at all. It was all but pitch black as only one, lone torch burned low in it's holder. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and hugged them to her with her arms. She bit her thumb nail nervously and looked up and down the dark hallway for signs of her Potionsmaster. There were none. Yet.
His office was sealed. She couldn't get inside. She was sure he wouldn't be happy to find her sitting outside, where people could potentially walk past and wonder what she was up to. Not that he was in a wonderful mood as it was. This would just be the icing on the cake.
"A fine, fine mess you've landed yourself into Alexandra…" she thought. She'd been having to repeat those words to herself more and more often than she would've liked to admit lately. One mess after another… that's all it had been since she'd become an Auror. She looked at the other Aurors like Kingsley Shacklebolt and Mad-Eye Moody and wondered if they'd ever found themselves in such a mess. She had a feeling that they hadn't. Not one of this magnitude anyway.
She ran her fingers through her shiny, dark hair and stopped at the back of her head. She grasped a bunch in each hand and pulled it gently. "This is bad, this is so bad! Any moment now, Snape's going to be back, mad as a hornet and here I am with no plan."
True, she didn't have a plan just yet, however, she did have one thing that Snape didn't… leverage. At the moment, she definitely had the upper hand, or at least she'd made him think so. However, on the other hand… she didn't think that Snape would be one to take being blackmailed lightly.
Any moment now, he'd be back… "Aw well… I'm just gonna wing it." she resolved. After all, that's what she'd done in the alley and all things considered, she'd come out alive and with all of her limbs intact. As she saw it now, that was a definite plus!
She continued to sit and wait. Every once in a while she'd glance up and down the corridor nervously. Lexie liked to think of herself as a 'fly by the seat of your pants' kind of girl. But even for her this was risky; going into battle with no plan.
Meanwhile, Snape was on his way back. There was no word in the English language that could adequately describe his fury. Not only had he been exposed to someone he'd rather have not been exposed to, but now she was blackmailing him as well. It would take a lot of restraint and self-control to not wrap his long, spindly hands around her little throat and choke the life out of her when he returned to the school.
He was walking at breakneck speed out of Hogsmead. The sooner he got out of town, the sooner he could apparate back to the castle gate and get this problem resolved, whatever it might take.
As fast as he was walking, his mind was going faster. How had this happened? He now knew that she had been the one tailing him over the summer. But after he'd confronted and threatened her, she hadn't appeared again… 'to my knowledge' he added as an afterthought.
But what was bothering him wasn't so much how she knew what he'd been up to, but rather how he had not noticed that she'd been watching him for so long. He'd been so careful. Snape was always careful. Even after he'd caught on to her little shadowing routine, and confronted her about it, she'd continued to follow him. How had he not noticed? Furthermore, how had he not recognized her upon her arrival to the school? Too many answered questions… This was a colossal problem; not characteristic of Severus Snape.
His face was contorted with anger and thought. He supposed that he'd been preoccupied with the prospect of having to recruit another Death Eater, meeting all of Malfoys demands along with the idea of having to prepare for another year of teaching at Hogwarts, that perhaps he'd slipped up. Still, that was no excuse.
He continued to punish himself all the way out of town. He'd always prided himself on being exceptionally perceptive and vigilant. It just infuriated him that he'd managed to miss something this big, this important.
Yet the problem remained, what to do about it? There weren't really very many options to choose from. He couldn't simply make her disappear, far too many questions would be asked. The only left him with one choice… to wait and see what her demands actually consisted of. Perhaps an agreement could be reached. He was sure it wouldn't be something that he normally would've agreed to, however, under the current circumstances he might have no choice.
He'd reached the edge of town. He whirled around, cloak rippling breeze to check that he was alone. And the, seeing no one, crack! He disapparated. He deftly undid the lock to the castle gates, slipped silently inside and locked it up behind him before stalking back to his office with clenched fists.
Lexie jumped as a door slammed somewhere down the corridor. She scrambled to her feet, for she knew could be no one else but Snape. She heard the gentle swishing of a cloak whipping around the corner. A tall, dark figure was pacing toward her.
"Lumos!" said Snape's voice, only an arms length away from Lexie. She knew it was an arms length when the beam of light appeared. She noted it's location; right under her chin, practically poking her in the throat.
"What are you doing out here? I thought I told you to go inside?" Snape barked at her, not bothering to keep his voice down.
Lexie gestured over her shoulder, fumbling for words. Frankly, she was quite frightened of Snape when he acted like this… who wouldn't be?
"I… the door… it was locked." She said lamely.
Snape waved his wand with one elaborate, fluent motion and the door lock sprung open with a distinctive 'click'. He turned the brass knob and pushed the door wide open with his wand hand. Then with his free hand, he grabbed Lexie just above her elbow, "Inside!" he growled. He flung her through the doorway and she stumbled into a long, low bookshelf, ramming her shins painfully against the edge. Lexie's mouth opened and she let out a silent cry of agony.
The door banged shut behind her and with another click it locked. Snape brushed past her, his long black robes flowing out behind him in a very 'Snapeish' way. He paced over to his desk. As he passed the chair across from his own, he pointed at it and said, "Sit!"
Lexie scurried across the room and took the seat he'd gestured to as fast as she could. She sat, perched on the edge of the seat and waited to see what Snape's next move would be. For though, she had the upper hand, she certainly didn't feel like she did. Not yet anyway…
She'd have to get a grip. She'd need to put on quite a performance to fool Snape. "I have to be confident…" she thought to herself. She took a deep breath and tried to prepare herself.
He stood behind his desk and folded his arms across his chest in a very standoffish way. "If you can give me one good reason that I should hear you out, perhaps I will consider not expelling you." He said seriously. In actuality however, it was an empty threat. He knew what the consequences for him would be if he did. And apparently, she did too.
"Oh professor…" Lexie laughed, standing up and waltzing over to his bookshelf. "You can't expel me!" she said as though it were perfectly obvious. "Well, you could of course…" she said, trailing a finger across a row of his books level with her face. She stopped and read one of the labels before turning around to face him again. "But then where would you be?" she gave him a moment to answer, but he didn't. She could practically hear his teeth grinding from across the room. She did see his fists clenching and unclenching as though he were tossing around the idea of strangling her. "Yeah…" she said in a tone of mock sympathy. "Cells in Azkaban aren't really in high demand, are they?"
She was actually surprising herself at how well she was functioning under pressure. She'd always choked in these situations until now. However, these lies were just rolling out of her mouth so easily, she half wondered where they were coming from.
He followed her path around the desk and made to stand just in front of her. They were toe to toe.
"Perhaps I should just silence you right now… permanently." He sneered, looking down his hooked nose at her. She was looking back up at him but he was surprised to see no fear in her eyes.
"You could try…" she suggested, leaning casually back against the bookcase on her elbows.
"Is that an attempt at a threat?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and raising an eyebrow.
Lexie laughed, "Ha! Professor, I believe you've been the one making most of the threats here this evening. I only want a negotiation." She said innocently brushing one of her long, dark curls out of her eyes gracefully, then crossing her arms mocking Snape's position.
He was so close, again… she could hear him breathing, see his chest rising and falling rhythmically. She didn't know why, but standing close to Snape made her more uncomfortable than threatening him did.
He pulled out a tarnished, gold pocket watch, which was missing it's chain from inside his robes and glanced at it. "You have thirty seconds." He said replacing the watch and once again crossing his arms over his chest impatiently.
Lexie straightened up. "OK, I know you've already talked to Dru, Natasha and the Flick kid… but I didn't even get a chance to prove why I should be the next Death Eater! I know I'm just as talented as they are and I really want this!"
"I suppose you wouldn't mind if I asked why you 'really want this'…?" he questioned.
"Well…" Lexie said, formulating a plan as fast as she could. She began, talking rapidly. "I'm all alone over here, I've got no one! I have no family, no friends, no money and no plans for after graduation! What I need more than anything is security."
"Joining the Death Eaters isn't the best way to get security Miss Bane." He lectured.
"Why not?" she asked hurriedly. "I know I'll never have to worry about money, or protection… well?" she said when he didn't immediately reply with a cynical comment.
"OK, listen…" she said taking a different approach. That idea had gone over like a lead balloon. She reached out and took him gently by the elbows. He flinched ever so slightly as her hands fell on him, but she took no notice as her time was running out. "I might not be the smartest girl ever, Merlin knows I'm a disaster at charms… but I can do this! When I lived in America I studied marshal arts. I'm a good fighter. I joined the dueling club at our school and I'm not bad, honestly! And I'm a quick study! I can learn whatever job they need me to do! I don't know much about my heritage… OK, I don't know anything about my heritage… so it's plausible that I'm not a pureblood, but I've always thought the Death Eaters had the right idea… you know?" she lied through her teeth, "I think it's a noble organization and I'd be proud to be part of it… apart from all of my other selfish reasons…" she finished, feeling winded.
It wasn't until a moment later that Lexie felt memories of following Snape begin to push their way to the front of her mind. She shook her head, as though coming out of a daze.
"Stop it!" she blurted out.
Snape looked sharply at her.
"Stop what?" he questioned.
"I know you're fiddling around in my head, trying to read my thoughts…" she snapped back at him. She felt irritated. More than anything else, it was annoying to try to tell someone a lie while they're trying to see what you're really thinking. It defeated the purpose of telling the lie in the first place. Then again, that was probably the idea.
Snape's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline. "Is there something in there that you don't want me to know Miss Bane?" he asked curiously.
"Yes! There are plenty of things that I'd rather not share with you. So if you don't believe me, rather than trying to meddle in my thoughts, why don't you just be a man about it and say so?" she shouted. She regretted it as soon as she'd said it. In fact, she had almost reached up and covered her mouth afterwards. But it was too late.
But instead of becoming more angry, Snape seemed to become more thoughtful instead. "I think you have plenty of secrets pertaining to these issues, Miss Bane… and I think that perhaps I should just take a little peek, to be sure that your intentions are… honorable." He said, taking a step back from her.
"Legilimens!" Snape said without warning.
"Oh no…" Lexie thought as the room began to swim before her eyes. Snape was dissolving and the memory of the first time they'd met in Knockturn Alley was unavoidably replacing him. The entire scene wasn't playing though. Only the part where he'd circled behind her. Now he was closing in on her. His hand was on her hip. His breath on her neck. His lips brushing her ear. All of the sudden the damp, cool alley way was no longer damp and cool, but stuffy and stiflingly hot… she could hardly breathe. She wanted him to continue…
"No!" she screamed aloud and she felt herself being thrown back against the bookcase. Her back cracked against and her knees buckled as she slid half way down the shelf before managing to catch herself.
"Get up!" he commanded. She pushed herself back up onto her feet. Her muscles felt strained and she felt a sweat breaking out on her forehead.
"Legilimens!" he shouted again.
Lexie tried to keep eye contact with Snape. She couldn't let him disappear, because if he did… he'd see more of the things she didn't want him to.
It was the night he'd been with Natasha in Knockturn alley. Snape saw Lexie standing in the shadows, glaring at him and Natasha. First he saw surprise. Next he saw something that he didn't expect to see. Shock was still the primary emotion, but there was another… creeping slowly into Alexandra Bane's subconscious, which she was only vaguely aware of. It was jealousy.
"Stop it! No!" she shouted again and felt the bookcase dig painfully into her back again, but this time she didn't catch herself. She was on the ground. She was gasping for breath and sweating profusely.
Snape looked at her for a moment, choking and coughing. "Get up." He said again.
"Professor please…" Lexie gasped. "No more…" she begged.
"Get off of the floor Miss Bane, and take a seat." He said gesturing to the chair she'd originally sat in.
Her muscles were all quivering uncontrollably as she pushed herself up to a sitting position. She wasn't surprised that he didn't offer her a hand. He reached inside of his robes, pulled out a white piece of fabric and tossed it down next to her. She stared at it. It was a handkerchief.
"Clean off your face, you're bleeding." He said, sneering in disgust, then he turned and walked back to his desk.
Lexie got gingerly to her feet. Her body felt weak and shaky, much like one feels after recovering from a bout of the flu. She dabbed the cloth under her nose and realized that she was indeed bleeding. All of the trauma to her head must've been responsible for that. She eased over to the chair, looking like a dog with it's tail between it's legs and sat, as ordered.
Snape leaned back in his seat and put the tips of his fingers together, staring at her from over top of them. "Miss Bane…" he said finally with the air of one who was rejecting a student from their chosen college. "I do not believe you are cut out to be a Death Eater." He said simply.
"Why not?" she said, her voice was now shaking as badly as her body.
He sighed.
"He sighs a lot." Lexie thought to herself.
"Underneath all of your… attitude," he said the last word with great annoyance and scolding in his voice, "I believe that you are a half-decent person. While you may not have any plans for the time directly following graduation and, as you say, you believe that the Death Eaters serve a worthy and noble cause… I believe that you still may have a chance to make something of yourself and obtain a real, respectable career. Which is a luxury which most Death Eaters do not have."
"You have a respectable job." Lexie argued.
"Yes. Yes, I have a respectable job, but… if you should manage to get one, it will all be a lie. You will be lying to all of your colleagues the entire time… your entire life will be one big charade. You will have a difficult time deciphering what is real from what is part of your front that you must put on. It is no way to live." He said wisely.
When Lexie didn't reply, he spoke again. "Miss Bane, I am telling you that you are not meant for this life. You deserve to have a real life… do you understand what I am saying to you?" he asked looking up at her with hooded eyes.
Lexie nodded. "Thank you Professor… but… with all due respect… I want to be the one to make up my own mind about this. And my decision stands."
Snape pressed his lips together. "If I do this for you… how long will it keep me out of Azkaban?" he asked, and she could hear the disgust in his voice sparked by having to bend to another person, much less an inferior.
"For good. I swear. Please, just do this one thing for me and I'll never mention it again. You have my word." She said solemnly.
It took him quite some time to answer. He was weighing his options.
Finally he answered her, "Very well then. Two weeks from now is the first Hogsmead weekend. You will need to come to my office just after all of the students leave and we will discuss what needs to be done in order for you to begin the initiation process." He said flatly. "And you, of course, will not be able to discuss this with anyone else. It must remain, as you will understand, a complete secret."
"I understand."
"Very well… you may go." Snape said, waving his hand at the door.
Lexie got up and crossed the room slowly. She turned around just before she'd crossed the threshold and glanced back at him.
"Thank you Professor." She said quietly, causing him to look up at her. "This means everything to me."
He nodded. And with that, she shut the door gently behind him and began walking back toward her dormitory. Overall, she was quite pleased with herself and her performance, which, she was sure would've won her an Oscar. She also realized that she now felt much less animosity toward Snape than she'd had in a long time.
So this was it, she was going to become a Death Eater. OK, so she wasn't really going to become a Death Eater. But even she had to admit, this was an ingenious plan. Sophie would surely be pleased. For now, she no longer had to study Snape from afar and wonder what and if he was doing to bring a Hogwarts student into the Death Eater population; now she would be that student. And what could top that?
