Sorry it took so long to get out. I kind of got stuck at one part and didn't know how to continue for a while. Here's the first chapter though and I hope you all like it! This actually has dialouge in it, and Neji is in this chapter.
Paring: Future NejiGaa
Warning: Shonen-ai
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Beta-ed by Sasuke2006 one of my bestest friends. She is awesome and so nice to beta my confusing stories. You see my beta's are the only reason my stories make sense. Without them it'd be a mess and you'd be so lost.
Chapter One
Everyday is like a dream, something that doesn't seem real and is intangible.
I have to wonder what it would be like to be real. What it would feel like to be 'normal'. I want to fit in, but I'm different so I never will.
-
"Sabaku, are you paying attention?" Questioned the teacher standing in the front of the classroom. Gaara glanced over at the white board behind her quickly solving the problem in his head.
"X equals 7."
"Very good," With that the woman turned back to the board working out the problem for the rest of the class who did not understand how he had gotten that answer.
Daydreaming while staring out the window was a common thing for Gaara to do. The teachers were used to it and never bothered him about it as long as he did his work and didn't disrupt class. They also left him alone because the counselors had informed them that Gaara was special, as in he was still slightly traumatized from his childhood. So there for they always paid special attention to him, just in case something happened.
-
What would happen if I died?
Would anyone care to notice I was gone? Who would cry? What would people say? How would they remember me? Will I forever be known as a person that I really am not? Will my life end still shrouded by darkness and the real me unknown to even those closest to me?
I don't want that.
Do I even want to die? No…I'm afraid of death.
I don't want to die.
I don't care if I'm always alone. I'd rather live in constant loneliness then face the even colder emptiness of death.
Will someone save me?
-
"How have you been?" The counselor asked kindly as she looked over at Gaara analyzing him.
"Not bad," Was his automatic reply as he stared blankly out the window that was to his side.
"Is there anything you want to talk about?" She questioned leaning over slightly causing her shoulder length black hair to cascade down in front of her shoulders.
"No…not about my past at least."
"Then is there something else?" Her voice hopeful that she was finally getting something out of the boy. He had never told her anything and it had been three years that she had been working with him.
"I think…I like someone…"
"Oh…does she go to this school?" The woman inquired surprised at Gaara's statement.
"No…he's twenty," Gaara said adding stress to the one word.
"Really?" The woman was now shocked if anything. This boy really was hard to understand.
"Yeah…but he's the only one who noticed me."
She stared at the boy as he looked out the window and noticed his eyes were glazed over, as if he wasn't all there.
"What do you mean he was the only one who noticed you?"
Gaara stopped looking out the window and locked his jade eyes with the gray eyes of the counselor.
"He saw the real me."
She was shocked at the intense look the boy's gaze had. They were filled with anger and pain, as if he was hiding from something.
"What-"
"I'm going now," Gaara said cutting her off. "I don't feel well."
"Ah…okay then," She sighed as she watched the door to her office close. "And I thought I was finally making a break through."
-
No one understands.
No one.
Except for him.
He understands me. He saw the real me. He liked me for who I was. He doesn't think I'm different. He doesn't think I'm a monster. He doesn't think I'm a freak.
I wonder if he knows how much he means to me.
Probably not.
After all I'm just his neighbor and there are so many people who are much better than me. I don't stand a chance. But I still like him.
He was the first person to notice me.
-
Gaara walked toward his home in a sedated pace. He was in no hurry to get back to the place that he called hell. The only good thing about being there was that on the off chance he was near a window he could see him. That was the only reason he still went home without trying to avoid it completely.
"Sabaku-san," A voice called from his side as a car pulled up next to him near the sidewalk he was walking on. He immediately recognized the voice and his head jerked over to look at the man in the car.
"Hyuuga-san?" Gaara questioned, confused by the others sudden appearance.
"Your father and mother went out of town and your brother and sister decided to stay with friends so they asked if you could stay at my house and I agreed," Was the brunette's explanation.
"How long?"
"Hmm?" The pale-eyed man looked questioningly at the red head as he motioned for Gaara to get into the car.
"How long am I staying with you?" Gaara repeated this time more fully.
"A week," Neji replied stepping on the gas and moving them toward his home.
-
This seems too good to be true.
There must be some sort of catch. Why did my parents go out of town anyway? Why would they even care if I were left alone at home? This is all a little too suspicious.
But should I really be worrying so much?
I mean I am finally getting a chance to get closer to him.
Do I want to waste what might be my only chance at happiness?
-
"Thanks…I guess," Gaara muttered not looking at Neji as they pulled into the driveway to his home and he got out.
"Your welcome and you can get whatever you need later, but right now I need to show you around my house and get you situated," Neji said.
"You plan too much," Gaara complained following Neji into his house.
"You don't plan enough, I heard about that speech you made in your English class. People said it was amazing…well until they found out you had made it up off the top of your head and it really had no factual value to it."
"I still got an A on that," Gaara said looking around the tidy house. "What happens if I stain the white carpet?"
"Nothing…I have never stained it before and as long as you are careful you shouldn't either."
"Sure…" Gaara said agreeing automatically.
"If you don't want to stay here you could stay with a friend," Neji said feeling as if the boy didn't want to be there.
"I'd say yes, but I have no real friends," Gaara explained. "I'm only friends with them to make myself look good."
"I see," Neji said. "You do nothing unless you have personal gain from it." Gaara nodded his head showing agreement.
"You're a lot like me in that sense," Neji said smirking.
"Then why are you letting me stay with you?" Gaara questioned. He saw Neji pause in surprise before reverting back to his confident self.
"I'll let you figure that out on your own," Neji said walking down the long hallway in his home before stopping and opening a door to his left. "This is your room. Mine is right across the hall."
Gaara looked into the room and wasn't disappointed. As he had thought Neji only bought expensive things and they were all in white, gray, and black. Somehow though he managed to not make it dull like most would have if using those colors.
The sheets were white and gray while the pillowcases were black all were made of silk. The carpeting for the room was white and the curtains covering the window were black. The room was painted a silver-gray that was so pale it was almost white.
-
He is pure.
I'm not.
I'm tainted.
I'll taint him too if I get to close.
But I like him. I want to be near him. He is like a magnet that I'm drawn to.
Is that so wrong? Wanting to be near purity?
Is that selfish of me?
But when have I ever been selfish?
I never ask for a lot. I get the best grades and don't cause trouble for my parents. I get almost nothing in return except but what most other children get. Which is food and a place to live.
I want to be near him.
I wonder if he knows I'm tainted.
He wouldn't let me stay here if he knew I was tainted.
-
"Your house is very plain," Gaara said lying.
"You're not very grateful are you?" Neji said slightly irritated by his rude remark.
"You never said I had to be," Gaara responded smirking. He then brushed past Neji and lay on the bed. "I'm going to take a nap."
"Okay, I'll get you when dinner is done," Neji replied shutting the door as he left.
Gaara turned over onto his stomach and hugged the pillow close to him breathing in deeply the scent that smothered it, as well as the rest of the room. It smelled like Neji and that had a calming effect on him.
He had to wonder if what he was feeling at that moment was what it felt like to be in love.
But no, he only felt safe and content. That couldn't be love. He knew those feelings already.
-
I want love.
I want love so much. To feel loved. To be in love. Love.
But what is love?
Does anyone love me?
No.
They don't love me.
No one loves me, and no one ever will.
They all hate me.
I'll be alone forever…
To be continued…
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