A/N – alright kids – I've gotten a complain that I'm being "too hard on Snape". Also that it's not realistic that Malfoy's taking out his frustrations on our favorite enigmatic Potionsmaster. On top of that, that it's unnecessary to have Lexie running to Snape's rescue. (Which, I haven't decided yet how she's going to respond to him being beaten up.) So, let's see… a show of hands who think I'm off the mark on this one? Please let me know, take 3 seconds & send a review letting me know what you think! OOH, 1 more thing. Keep in mind, the last time Malfoy beat him up was back in September – this is the beginning of December, so it's not like it's part of his daily routine.
Lordheaven: Ha ha ha! No, at this point in time, it'd just be too much of a personal tragedy for me to have to write Snape's death scene… but you're right! He IS tough! And that's the picture I'm trying to paint here – look at what he endures from the dark side and yet manages to get out of bed and teach every morning! What a man! swoons
Popess2: Let me just say, your reviews are always so lighthearted and flattering! You never criticize me too harshly & I think it may very well have been YOUR review that encouraged me to go ahead and force myself to write that last chapter! The only problem with your theory (which, by the way, is QUITE a good idea, indeed!) is that she didn't actually see it, in real time – she was seeing it as sort of a backwards premonition. Seeing something that had already happened… and thank goodness for that – otherwise we could end up with rather a short story couldn't we? Ha ha ha!
Fulleree: Give it til the next chapter! Don't be certain of Lexie's actions til she carries them out… she's a good person, but she's not Hermione Granger, which, (as some of us were concerned with the potential of that happening) she is not.
JessieCottam: WOW! What a great review! Here again, these are the comments that keep me going! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story – I've got a lot planned for upcoming chapters! Hope you like them!
Hope you're all enjoying! If there's anyone else out there – I'd love to hear from you! I'll try to keep these crazy rambling author's notes to a minimum from now on!
Chapter 17
Initially Lexie stood in the doorway, still skeptical that what she was seeing was the real thing. "Professor?" she asked timidly, her voice barely above a whisper.
A gentle swish behind her made her start and gave her the unshakable sensation as that a cloak had just whipped around one of the dungeon corridors. She stepped forward and closed the door behind her, charming it shut. She cautiously moved across the room.
Her teacher stirred. His arms were shaking violently as he struggled to push himself into a sitting position. He fell several times before achieving his goal, each time emitting a growl louder and more frustrated than the previous.
Lexie knew that in a perfect world, she would've swooped down and lifted his head gently onto his lap, brushed his hair out of his face and nursed him back to health. And there was a part of her that desperately wanted to go to him, help him and do the right thing. There was also another part, a larger, more dominant part that reminded her of the fact that she was squeamish around blood and injured people. It was that part of her which was making her stomach flip unpleasantly, her mouth become dry and her breathing ragged. It was also that part of her that kept her feet rooted to the spot.
"Professor?" she croaked, taking another uncertain step forward… but not getting much closer to the injured man.
He looked up at her and she could tell he was in a great deal of pain. He winced as he jerked his head upward to locate the speaker. His silky hair was matted to his head, soaked in blood.
Lexie swallowed reflexively, willing the vomit to recede back into her throat. A small, barely audible voice was saying, 'C'mon Alexandra… DO the right thing!'
But it was interrupted.
"What in bloody hell are you doing here?" Snape asked, his voice ragged.
"Your door was open," Lexie said gesturing over her shoulder, "And…" this was stupid. That wasn't even what Snape really wanted to know.
Snape reached up and grabbed the desk, breathing hard. His hand slipped and he fell back to the floor.
Lexie's heart went out to him. "Here, let me…" she offered, making to give him a hand.
"No!" he shouted. "I don't need your bloody help! Get out!" he barked.
It was amazing how he had such an authoritarian presence even when he was bleeding profusely from the head and unable to pluck himself off of the floor.
Lexie obeyed, stopping in her tracks. Snape remained on the floor panting and looking less like himself than Lexie recalled in recent memory.
"Professor… You really should see the nurse…" she suggested.
"Don't patronize me Miss Bane!" he shouted, reaching up and grasping the desk. This time his grip did not fail him. He pulled himself back up to full height, not without a bit of difficulty, but he managed. "I believe I asked you to get out."
There was a moment when they only stared at one another. Lexie took in his disheveled appearance, his hair, matted by blood (possibly flowing freely from somewhere under his hairline, near the back of his neck), the beads of sweat beginning to drip down his pale face and most obviously the deep, dark crease between his brows… a look of sheer fury.
Lexie's conscience was telling her to insist that he sought medical attention.
"OUT! GET OUT!" he howled, making her positively jump with fright.
She scowled at him, but backed out of the room, rather than running for her life.
The door shut with a distinctive snap.
Snape closed his eyes and sighed. He felt dizzy. Nauseous. He used his hands to feel his way over to his desk chair. He eased himself into it.
Tonight made two occasions he'd been reprimanded by Malfoy for 'inability to do his job' or 'insubordination'.
"Insubordination…" Snape thought wryly, ever so slightly shaking his head.
Malfoy had appeared at the school to take the newest recruit out on a little rendezvous, he hadn't specified the actual objective. When Snape had told him that she wouldn't be ready until after the Christmas party… well, it had all gone downhill after that.
Snape had learned over the years, that Lucius Malfoy had a tendency to overstep his boundaries more often than appropriate. Just because the Dark Lord was M.I.A. didn't give him the license to take his aggressions out on his fellow Death Eaters whenever he felt like it. "For Merlin's sake… Just go get laid like the rest of us." Snape thought, gingerly touching the back of his head and wincing.
He examined the liberal amount of blood on his hand while thinking just how disgusted he was with himself. If there was one thing Snape hated, it was being bullied. Especially by Lucius Malfoy. If it hadn't been for his prestigious last name and ridiculous family fortune, most people wouldn't have regarded him much higher than a puddle of sludge. Perhaps not even that high.
He was also finding that he was bothered by the fact that he'd once again shouted at his apprentice. He didn't know just why, but he didn't enjoy harassing or demeaning her as much as the rest of his pupils. "Perhaps it's because I know I'll be working alongside her upon her graduation." He mused as he dabbed the back of his head with his handkerchief. "Or maybe because I know there's still so much she needs to learn before her induction… things that only I can teach her."
But none of these thoughts seemed fitting. Was it simply that he enjoyed her company? For he hadn't kept such company as Alexandra Bane in some time. Perhaps never. Was it that he was turning into a softie?
"Well she certainly won't think so… not after tonight." He thought, vaguely wondering what kind of consequences he'd get for this via her actions the next time he saw her. Thankfully, she'd have some time too cool off. She wouldn't be in the same room with him (besides meals) again until Wednesday. And he was certainly glad of that.
He got weakly out of his chair to tend to his wounds. He followed this with a steamy, almost too hot to stand, shower. Visions of her crept into his head, but he forced them away with great difficulty. Such a shower always makes a man wish he wasn't in there alone. Feeling slightly better after healing himself, the best he could, he decided to top off the evening with a stiff glass of brandy and a dreamless sleep potion. He went to bed early that night… (early for him, as he was typically a night owl) feeling empty, ashamed and alone.
…
The next few days at Hogwarts were some of Lexie's most difficult. With the prospect of the Malfoy's traditional Christmas party looming ever nearer, tensions were running high. And she had no one to express her concerns to.
It was hard to tell if Snape was still angry with her or not. After all, she only saw him across the room at mealtimes. That pretty much made it a toss up in trying to figure out what he was thinking. It was impossible to get a read of what he was feeling with so many teenage hormones running wild within the large room.
Once… only once, between Sunday morning and Wednesday during Potions class, did he glance her way during a meal. Lexie had, of course, been staring at him, neglecting her dinner and wondering what it was that he was thinking. And he'd caught her. His eyes were sharp and calculating. But the meeting of their eyes had been so brief. He'd looked away almost as soon as it had happened. This was atypical for him… as he usually tried to intimidate her by staring until it was so uncomfortable that Lexie dropped her eyes to the ground. She hated it when he did that. But now, she found herself longing to feel his stare upon her.
Lexie felt as though she were on pins and needles through out most of Wednesday. But worst of all were the moments spent waiting outside of Snape's dungeon classroom. She'd spent extra time on her homework the night before, not wanting to disappoint him.
He proceeded to sweep around the room, bullying the Gryffindors and making snide remarks about their work. He paused several times to make notes on everyone's cauldrons. He could hardly pass up the opportunity to make a comment each time he stopped at someone's workstation.
Except hers. She'd watched him intently, biting down on her lower lip nervously. He peered into her cauldron, hair draping into his fair face. He straightened up, made a brief note then swished away without a word.
Lexie felt her stomach drop. She suddenly couldn't remember the last time she'd been this disappointed. She might have even welcomed a rude remark. But she was denied.
Meanwhile, Snape returned to his desk, feeling particularly pleased with himself. Initially, he'd felt just a twinge of guilt about yelling at his apprentice (as he was now fondly referring to her as – to himself of course.) Now he simply felt smug. He knew she was staring at him, shocked that he didn't even pause to hover over her, brush against her or otherwise acknowledge her existence. This excited him. He couldn't begin to fathom why… but it did. So he continued in this way for the rest of the lesson.
He dismissed them. He had to suppress a smile when her mouth actually dropped open when he didn't ask her to stay after. He watched her gather her things, looking dejected and hurt, then sulk out of the room.
Just then he had an idea. An awful idea. Snape had a wonderful, awful idea! He dug into his desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and quill. He skillfully scratched down a note and summoned one of his first year suck up students to him.
"Take this note to Alexandra Bane. And don't open it. I shall know if you do." He said, looking significantly at the first year girl standing in front of him. Then he sat back, folded his hands behind his head and smiled, satisfied at the ceiling.
