Special thanks to Patty and Syl for their great beta work, and to Gina and Tammy for their cheerleading. I'm a little nervous about this section because I'm not used to using this much language in anything I write. But emotions are running high for Dick and his visitors in this section. This is also the chapter that rated the R rating. So remember rated R for Language. I do hope you all enjoy this section. Char :-)

COURT MARTIAL: PART 7:

Tears stung at Nightwing's eyes. "I don't deserve ... I ... thanks." Nightwing's posture radiated defeat and pain as he walked stiffly into the cell. His hand reached up, yanking the mask from his face and tossing it across the small closed space. He closed his eyes as his anger grew and looked up at the intruders in his cell. "I want to be fucking alone!"

Wally held up his hands. "Hey … I understand but ..." He looked quickly at the unusually silent Roy for help and then shrugged. "It's all his fault." Roy's head swiveled and glared in a very Bat-like way at him. Wally shook his head and mumbled. "You two hang out too much."

Roy turned back to Dick. "You finished?"

Dick's eyes narrowed. "I haven't even begun."

Roy smiled confidently, "Bring it on."

"Bring it on?" Dick sneered. "You couldn't handle what I have to bring on."

"I can deal with your whiney ass any day," Roy taunted as he stood from the bunk.

Wally's eyes widened and he stepped back. He knew they were posturing, and how they normally worked through problems. Even for a speedster it would be hard to get out of the way if the two former Titans collided in the six by eight cell. "Uh ... guys ... I don't think this is gonna solve --"

"This isn't gonna get solved Wally!" Dick yelled. "I don't wanna talk to either one of you." He turned his steely blue eyes from Roy to Wally. "And I damn well don't want you defending me. You OR Barbara. Got it!"

Wally felt the heat going to his cheeks, and he closed the small gap between them. "If not us, who?"

"No one. I told everyone I don't want a damn defense. I don't HAVE a defense to what I did. Don't you two get it?"

"It's just a damn good thing your Grayson daddy ain't here to see you giving up. I'm sure he'd be more disappointed than the Bat ever could be just because you made one stupid, fucking mistake."

"Shuddup, Roy," Dick growled and turned away. He braced himself with arms locked and straight and palms flat against the wall. His fingers flexed against the smooth wall and he closed his eyes. His seething emotions were screaming for him to pound something, and his heart wanted them to get the hell out of his way before he did.

Roy's eyes narrowed and his anger boiled over. There was no way he was going to loose his friend to his all consuming guilt of imagined failure. "Oooh yeah ... so that's it. You're gonna give up on both dads because you ain't so perfect anymore. You ain't the golden boy who never makes mistakes? Hate to break it to you hotshot, but you're just as human as the rest of us. So what're ya gonna do? Can't stand the heat, so you're just gonna burn down the kitchen. That's real mature, Dickie. No wonder the Bat can't stand to see what you've become."

Dick whirled back around and his voice rose with each sentence. He really wanted to hurt Roy at the moment, if not with fists, then with words. "You'd know all about mistakes, wouldn't you, Roy? You're the king of the fucking screw ups. Addict and everything else. Single father because you can't even remember to use a condom when you fuck a damn killer."

"Stop it, Dick!" Wally yelled. "That's enough, Roy!"

"At least I had the guts to stand up after my mistakes and stand by my obligations!" Roy yelled closing the distance between them.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DO YOU THINK I'M DOING NOW? I'M TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT I DID! THAT'S WHY I TURNED MYSELF IN!" The walls of the titanium room seemed to vibrate with the force of Dick's response.

"Really?" Roy started with a cocky grin. He could handle an angry Dick a lot better than he could handle a worn down and broken friend. Roy's heart couldn't stand to see his friend so desolate. Anger was good, it showed you were still alive, and where there's life, there's hope. Roy would never give up hope where Dick was concerned. "You take care of your responsibilities, huh? Walk out on any other girlfriends lately? Or were Kory or Babs the last?"

Dick's eyes narrowed, "You sonovabitch. I didn't walk out on Babs! I didn't walk out on Kory. Hell you didn't even stay for the fucking wedding to see the priest get blown up!"

"That's because you were acting like a fucking asshole then too!"

Wally palmed his face. "Guys, I don't think we're getting anywhere with this."

Roy's face was as red as his hair. "This ain't about responsibility or anything remotely like that. You wanna know what I think you're doing Dick? I think you're committing suicide, because you're too damn gutless to stand up for your fucking self."

"Bullshit, Roy! You don't know what happened out there last night." Turning his glare to Wally who was peeking at the two through his gloved hand, "And I remember you telling me last night you didn't wanna know. So get the fuck out and neither one of you have to listen to a damn word from me. Just let me go and be as gutless as you fucking think I am."

Roy looked at Wally and pointed to Dick. "Can you believe the shit that's coming outta his mouth? He's trying to do to us what he did to Babs. He pushed Babs and Kory away from him as hard as he could! Now he's trying to do that to us. He's turned into a freaking Bruce Wayne!"

Dick closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. "Roy … you need to shut up right now before this goes any further." Hard blue eyes opened and glared at Roy. "Don't bring Bruce into this. I'm not good enough to be him. I won't listen to you talk bad about him. He --"

Roy interrupted. "Oh for God's Sake, don't even fucking go there with the 'he wouldn't kill thing and so you're nothing like him.' WE both know that he's come close and I don't even know he hasn't stepped over that sanctimonious damn line. You wanna worship at the fucking church of the Bat, well go right ahead … but that ain't gonna change the fact that Bruce is already right in the square middle of this shitstorm." Roy poked Dick in the chest with a finger. "Everyone in this room knows that you both have fucking impossible standards and if you weren't still that screwed up nine year old who is scared shitless of disappointing the big bad bat, we wouldn't even be here! That's who ought -- SHIT!" Roy pulled his twisted back fingers from Dick's clenched hand, and took two steps back.

"This is the last warning. Get. Out. OR you will leave here on a stretcher."

Roy smirked. "So I can leave you alone to feel sorry for yourself some more? What? You have cowl envy and now you ain't never gonna be able wear the cloak, because unlike Bruce you grew a pair and finally, stepped up and did what was right?" Roy assumed a pandering posture and slipped into a sing song voice. "Oooo, now you'll have ta give back your piece 'a shit bat decoder ring and never get ta be the head master of the bat club house – " Roy straighten up and his lips curled in disgust. "No. No more bat perks, but not because you did what you did … but because you're a gutless coward who ain't fit ta be there --"

A guttural sound escaped Dick's lips as he lunged for Roy. Wally rushed between them, grabbing Dick and pushing him against the wall. "Will you stop! Both of you!"

"Lemme go. He wants a piece of me, I'll be happy to give it to him," Dick growled.

"Let him go, Wally. His fucking pity party's gone far enough," Roy spat. Staring at Dick, he continued, "That's the real truth, ain't it? You've dragged us all here so you can play some role and achieve Bat Martyrdom! You gotta do this so you can still be a part of the club, even though you broke one a' their stupid rules. You gotta punish yourself. Make fucking restitution. You wanna punish yourself? Hell, Dick, if you really wanted to punish yourself put those damn green shorts back on and pal around with Bats for a month like you used to, doing everything Daddy Bats tells you to, then you can --"

Dick pushed Wally off him. With speed the speedster could envy, he punched Roy so hard that Roy's head hit the sidewall. Roy reached up, wiped the blood from his lips, and shot a cocky grin in Dick's direction. "That was a damn good punch. Got anymore?"

"If you don't get the fuck outta this cell, you're gonna see," Dick growled. He looked at Wally, "Same goes for you, too."

"You can't hit what you can't catch, Dick," Wally said proudly.

"Wanna bet?"

"Uh ... no ... not really," Wally replied as he leaned against the wall.

"Dick!" Roy started.

Dick turned back toward Roy who landed an upper cut to Dick's chin. "Let's get the party started."

"Oh hell," Wally muttered as he ran his hand through his hair and watched as his two best friends started pummeling each other in the small cell. "I knew this was gonna happen." He hoped they worked it out of their system soon as the cell was just too small to evade them forever. He watched Dick grab Roy around the waist. The two fell to the floor wrestling with each other. A slur of expletives escaped their mouths.

"You stupid mother fucker!" Roy yelled as his elbow slammed into Dick's chest. "We just wanna help you. And you ... you're now operating on some kind of sense of fucked up bat chivalry that includes covering for a murderer. Of course that goes to the whole question of whether this was murder at all or the fucking mercy killing of some kind of fucking rabid dog! You're too stupid to see you weren't even involved. How the hell did you get the reputation as the smart one of us? World's Second Greatest Detective, my ass!"

"I don't WANT any help, you sonovabitch! From any of you! I don't deserve it," Dick yelled back as he landed a left hook to Roy's face and bounced up on his heels. "So just leave me the fuck alone."

"Ain't gonna happen," Roy responded kicking out quickly and knocking Dick off his feet.

Dick sprung back to his feet like a panther ready to strike at his prey. He launched himself into Roy's solar plexus, and they both hit the back wall hard. "Get it through your thick, damn skull ... I'm gone. I'm lost. You can't help me ... no one can ever help me again. You're two damn late ... too late!" Dick's body ached, not from the mutual blows he and his friend had given one another, but from the realization of his own words. The ache extended from his flesh and bone and seeped into his now tainted soul.

Roy grabbed Dick by the hair and yanked his head into the wall. "Stupid ass! It's not too fucking late! We're gonna save your sorry ass from yourself if we have to!" Dick pushed against Roy and they both tumbled toward the cell door.

Wally jumped out of the way of their wrestling bodies. Tiring of their games, he grabbed the bed sheet from the bunk and trussed them up together in literally a millisecond. "Whew," he exhaled as he sat on the floor beside them. "If you two weren't so bruised, I know a number of females in our occupation who'd love to see the two of you with a big white ribbon around you. Of course, knowing some of the rumors about some of them, they might like you bruised and bloodied. All we need now is a little leather --"

"Dammit Wally!" Dick and Roy said in almost perfect unison. Then looking at each other, the three broke out in laughter.

"Thanks," Dick said as he easily escaped the restraints. Looking at Roy, then looking down, he mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't worry 'bout it man," Roy replied as he rubbed his jaw. "'Sides, I didn't mean half of what I said, and I'm almost sorry for the rest of it. Look, the only thing you need to be sorry about is the way you've been acting ... like you're giving up."

"Roy's right, Dick," Wally added. "For once." Wally avoided looking in Roy's direction to avoid the bat-like glare he was giving him. It was obvious Dick and Roy had been spending way too much time together. "Dick, I know you blame yourself for what happened but ... it's not your fault."

"Wally, you don't know that," Dick sighed.

"Yeah I do. We both do," he said pointing his thumb at Roy and back at himself. "We know because we know you."

Dick drew his legs up and laid his head over on his knees. They just didn't understand. They didn't know him, not anymore, not who he had become. He didn't even know himself, and what he did know of the new Nightwing, he hated. "Roy, you just --" he shook his head.

"Damn, if you aren't the stubbornest, hardheaded, jackass I've ever met," Roy said shaking his head. "Man, you need to give yourself a break."

"Stubbornest isn't a word," Dick pointed out without looking at either of them.

Roy shook his head. "Great, now he's the bat freakin' Webster's Dictionary."

Wally's hand rested on Dick's shoulder. "Come on, buddy, let us help. We can, but we can't do it if we're having to fight you the whole time."

Roy continued to grumble. "I bet he does side jobs as the freakin' Emily Post of the Bat Squad. Sorry Batman you have to hit from the right, and then kick from the left. It is only proper. No, no, proper etiquette is to leave the cape over the bed post when --"

Wally glared at Roy. "ROY!"

Sighing, Dick looked at his two best friends. "I don't deserve you ... either of you. I let you down. I let everyone down. I don't know how you can stand to even look at me."

Roy rolled his eyes and threw his head back. "You are seriously bummed out. Dude, you are sitting beside the world's biggest fuck-up ... and you know it, so don't argue with me. I understand royally screwing up. I can understand how you're feeling man." Roy put his hands up, "Don't start with me. I do. I've killed. More than once. In the line of duty. You were a cop Dick, you know that sometimes people are killed in the crossfire. That's what happened here. Regardless of what happened out there last night, it wasn't murder. You did not murder Desmond."

"And if I told you I walked up behind Blockbuster and blew his brains out would you still want to stick up for me?"

Wally's eyes almost bugged out of his head at Dick's statement. Roy sighed exasperated. "Yes. We would. Because if you did that, then he would've deserved it."

Wally nodded. He could not picture Dick ever committing cold-blooded murder like that. He knew Dick Grayson, what he was and was not capable of. Dick Grayson was not capable of deliberately shooting anyone in cold-blood. Period.

"You're good friends. Better than I deserve." Dick looked at them and his hands reached out to his two friends. He clasped their hands and the three old friends sat on the floor of the cell together. "Just so you feel better, it didn't happen quite that way."

"See, I knew it," Roy grinned.

Wally rolled his eyes. "Just how did it happen?"

Dick looked down, his hands never releasing his grip on his friends. They were his lifeline ... they always had been. Quietly, he told them the events of the last few days. How his life had unraveled before him. " -- and he would've killed everyone I love, everyone I know or would ever meet. He was never gonna stop and ... and ... I walked out of the way and watched her shoot him."

"And that makes you guilty how?" Roy asked incredulously.

"Because I wanted her to kill him, and I walked away, allowing her to do it."

"Man, you don't have any obligation to step between a bad guy and a bullet from another bad guy. You are only guilty if ya somehow got telepathic powers and laid the whammy on her. And may I just say it would make you a piece a' shit friend if you had those powers and didn't share with us. Think about all the free drinks!"

Wally shook his head. "Roy!""

"I'm supposed to protect --"

"The innocent," Wally finished for Dick. "We protect the innocent, Dick. As Titans, as League members, as Outsiders, and solo, our job ... our duty ... is to protect the innocent. Last I looked, Roland Desmond wasn't innocent."

Dick ran both hands through his hair. "I hear what you're saying. I do. But --"

"No buts. Shit, Dick, you saved everyone's life. Including mine and Lian's," Roy said as he turned his friend to face him. "Because we're in your little superhero address book. That asshole would've been coming after us, too. And what about Wally here? You think that Desmond couldn't have found him even after everything he went through to get a secret identity back?"

"I know that. I was thinking of you, both of you, all of you ... and I just wanted it to STOP," Dick said as tears started to flow.

Wally draped his arm around him, "Dude, I would've too. I refuse to cry tears for that animal. I refuse to let you throw away your life over some bastard that killed thirty or forty people, THIS time, and who would've killed more. He's not going to kill anyone ever again. He's not going to walk into Wayne Enterprises and kill Bruce Wayne, or blow up Tim Drake's school, or the Daily Planet trying to get at Clark, or where I work or anything. Dick ... I know you're disappointed with yourself but ... you didn't kill him. I don't think Batman or anyone else expected you to sacrifice yourself to save a sadistic piece of shit like Roland Desmond and I'm not going to let you throw your life away and get sent off to some prison planet so many light years from earth because of this."

Dick looked up confused, "Huh?"

"You didn't know?" Roy asked seeing the surprised look on his friend's face. "Man, if you're convicted, the League's sending you to a prison off planet ... to protect the secret identities."

"I ... didn't know. I ... I never thought that this would ... God, what have I done?" Dick shook his head. What had he done? Pain. He had caused pain to his family and friends. He was still causing them pain, and he would forever. "Damn."

"Don't worry about it, Dick. We're not gonna let it happen," Wally said comfortingly.

"Damn right," Roy agreed. "Get up Dick, I'm kidnapping you."

"What?"

Roy stood up pulling Dick and Wally with him. "Come on, we're getting you the hell outta here until we can get everyone straightened out. Maybe, maybe I can get Hal to help. At least get him to kick Stewart's ass. Of course, I'd like the pleasure of that."

"I'd like to see you try that Harper," John Stewart said. He filled the now opened door with his presence; the emerald green light that radiated from his ring gave a halo effect to his body.

TO BE CONTINUED ...