A/N: All boring around here...unless you count my English teacher using a Kermit the Frog and Cookie Monster puppets with realistic voices to explain The Canterbury Tales...most interesting thing that happened to me all week.
Chapter 45: Alone
Kagome sighed sadly, her memories turning to a dark place she hated visiting once more. "Naraku was not defeated, as they hoped he would be," she said, holding her son—who had now woken up because the story had gotten a lot more interesting—tightly to her. "This meant that the final battle was put off, leaving all to worry."
Sango, Miroku, and Shippou watched as she told the story. Her face had been smiling hours before, but now it was stuck into that sad, regretful look, the one that she had worn back then, and the one they hoped they would never have to see again.
Holding her son closer, as if he was her only comfort, Kagome continued, "The Hanyou and Miko went back to her time after the battle, for some time together without worries of Naraku, but their time was extinguished all too soon, letting them both realize how important their bond was…"
The stars twinkled overhead as Sango walked with Miroku through the hills next to the village, both having been silent for some time. They had gotten back to the village a day ago, though Inuyasha had taken Kagome back beforehand and nearly killed himself running back in less than two days. Kagome had recovered, but Inuyasha still didn't let her out of his sight. And it was obvious that he was a bit mad at her for rushing into battle like that as well.
Kagome and Inuyasha set out for her world once Inuyasha had determined that she was well enough to take the journey through the well. He was always hovering around her, and even though he tried to keep angry at her, it was obvious that he was more worried than anything. He had done anything she asked, whether he wanted to do it or not, and the hanyou constantly asked her if she needed anything at all. The way he had acted when he just learned she was pregnant didn't even compare to the attention he was paying her now.
Sango sighed at those thoughts, knowing that though Kagome had complained that he was paying a little too much attention to her and he had gone far beyond being "sweet", she knew that he was justified in his actions. Kagome had worried them all when she had gone out in battle despite Inuyasha ordering her to stay away for her own safety.
"Sango?" Miroku asked, bringing her out of her thoughts. "Is something wrong?"
She shook her head. "No, Houshi-sama…it's…This situation with Kagome-chan and Inuyasha…I guess it's making me worry."
"You aren't the only one worried, Sango," the monk admitted. "Something like this is enough to rattle anyone's nerves, without adding Naraku to the picture."
She turned away, admitting, "I know what you mean, Housh-sama…but I just feel, I suppose, more worried than usual. I know Inuyasha is taking care of Kagome, and I know he'd never let anything like that happen to her again, but I just can't shake this feeling…"
Crickets chirped in between the silence, before Miroku replied, "I can't shake it either…Naraku is bound to be up to something, especially considering that he let us leave alive last time…" the monk paused, before adding in a whisper, "Sometimes, I wonder if anyone of us will make it out alive…" He glanced down at the glove covering his cursed hand. "I learned not to be afraid of my own death, since I know it could happen at any moment, but now I'm more frightened at losing someone close to me…"
He left his sentence there, but his implication was not missed. Her eyes widened, and her breath hitched in her throat when she felt her heart begin to race. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed frozen in her place, the beating of her heart ringing in her ears. Miroku continued, "Sango…out of anyone, I know I couldn't bear to lose you…"
"H-Houshi-sama…" she tried to begin, but words failed her.
She felt him wrap his arms around her from behind, pulling her against his chest in a comforting hold. And for once, she couldn't turn away. "We might die soon, Sango…" the monk began softly. "And I couldn't bear to die now…not without telling you how much I love you one more time."
Sango had never felt her heart race as fast as it was now. Miroku sometimes flirted with her and declared his love with almost mock lines of romance, but now…his heartfelt confession was worth so much more because of its pure honesty. The feelings within her breast hit her so hard that she felt tears form in her eyes.
"Sango?" the puzzled monk asked, releasing her to turn and face him. "Sango, what's wrong?"
When the exterminator looked back up at him, with soggy eyes, she whispered, "I'm sorry…"
The violet eyed monk's eyebrows rose. "Sorry? What are you sorry for?"
Sango wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "I'm so sorry for all the pain I must have caused you, Houshi-sama…"
It took him a second to realize what she was referring to. "Sango, are you worried about that? Please, don't…I understand that you had no reason to trust me before, and with Naraku…I think we were both unsure of what we really, truly wanted at the time…"
Even through the tears, Sango managed to look up and give a small smile, "But now I know…"
The monk didn't venture a reply, too stunned as she continued, feeling happier than she had ever felt before. "I know I was wavering in what I really wanted for so long…but I realized that it was pointless, the way I was thinking…I was afraid, of so many things, but…" she shook her head slightly. "I know that there's nothing to be afraid of now…Not when I…love you…Miroku."
That last word alone was enough to force out the monk's breath. While her confession of love had stunned him, it paled to the confusion he felt at Sango saying his name for the very first time. "S-Sango?" he asked. "But…you never said…my name before…"
Her smile grew, but not without the small blush on her face that accompanied it. "I think if I'm going to be your wife, that I should call you by your name, right?"
All control of feelings hidden for so long burst as a boyish grin broke out on Miroku's face. "Sango!" he managed to say, before grabbing her and kissing her fiercely, the exterminator responding in kind, clinging on to him with the same amount of desperation, the same amount of love.
At last, all had been reconciled.
Inuyasha watched Kagome gently rock their child, wrapped in a blanket, with a smile on his face. Everything was perfect now, their child had been born, and he was a proud father, feeling the joys of parenthood. Kagome smiled back as she noticed he came closer, her hauntingly beautiful melody wrapping around him.
The hanyou placed a kiss on her cheek, while wrapping another arm around her waist, his eyes closed, taking in her scent and the scent of their child all in one, enough to make him feel dizzy with love for both.
Kagome's hummed melody didn't sound like the happiest song…in fact, it was beginning to make him feel uncomfortable as it rang through his ears, the tune sounding like a cruel lament…That eerie melody pulling at him making him feel like he was being squeezed by some invisible force…
He opened his eyes, to glance down at the child in the blanket—
And was met with a bony white skeleton, its empty eye sockets staring, while the small teeth were set in a spine chilling grin…
Inuyasha jumped up in his sleep, bare chest covered in sweat as he breathed heavily, still shaking. It took him a moment to remember where he was, before glancing at the sleeping woman beside him, as if just to make sure she was still there.
Kagome slept soundly beside him, turned on her side facing him. Her face was in a calm, neutral expression, her arms bunched up towards her chest. He could see the necklace she always wore peeking out from the collar of her nightgown, and the large bulge in her belly making the sheets rise slightly.
Remembering the frightening figure of a baby's skeleton, he quickly placed his hand over her stomach…just to make sure. The hanyou let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding once he felt the baby kick back at him.
Resting his head in his hands, he sighed again, knowing all too well what that dream meant. If she's in the final battle, then the baby will die…Removing his head from his hands, his amber eyes flickered back over to Kagome, who had now shifted so one of her hands lay slightly on her stomach. She couldn't live with herself if that happened…And neither could I…
They had been lucky when they had faced Naraku for the first time, when both she and the baby came out intact. But what about the next time? Inuyasha knew that however foolish it was, Kagome would give her own life to save him. But would she risk the baby as well? He knew that she wouldn't…but sometimes her miko powers acted on their own accord to save her. What if that happened and she couldn't control it? Or what if the fright of battle was enough to destroy their baby?
Kagome was six months pregnant now, and though most of it was over, the baby still was very young. Too young to survive on its own if something happened…
Inuyasha turned away from her, and slid out of her bed, standing up and walking towards the window. It was slightly open, causing his hakama pants and silver hair to ripple in the small breeze. The hanyou looked down to see Goshinboku, now covered in the blossoms of spring. Goshinboku…no matter which world they were in, it was their special place. He remembered a time when they would sit under that tree, with her in his arms, as her enticing scent wrapped around him, making him feel safe and loved.
Even though her scent was all over her room, it didn't make him feel those things at all. Right now, all he felt was anxious. He knew he couldn't risk her, or the baby, when it came time to fight Naraku, but if they waited until the baby was born, Naraku might do something worse than this "Curse of the Shikon no Tama".
She'd only be in danger…he thought, as he turned to look back at his beautiful mate sleeping so soundly, before he made his decision.
It was light out once more when Inuyasha placed the note he left for her, made with one of those infuriating clicking 'pehnz' of her era, and pulled on his haori. Inuyasha had made his final decision hours ago, but he couldn't bear to leave her when it was still dark—he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, even if she was asleep.
He glanced back at her, and noticed that the seashell necklace had become dislodged from her nightgown fully, and now hung at her side. Seeing her beautiful face again caused Inuyasha's gut to clench once more, reminding him of what he would have to leave to do what he had to. He had tried to clear the second thoughts all night, but it hadn't worked at all. And now, those second thoughts were coming back to haunt him, asking him if he really, truly wanted to do this.
It's for her and the pup's own good, he justified himself. But even so…leaving Kagome would be one of the hardest things he ever had to do in his life.
Slowly, he walked over to her, one last time, and gently caressed her cheek, his face wavering from a look of regret to a small smile. But at last, he closed his eyes sharply, and turned away, towards the door. I'm so sorry, Kagome…he thought, as he disappeared from her doorway, slowly shutting the door behind him.
Kagome had begun to wake when she felt soft fingers against her cheek, but it was the sound of a door clicking shut that made her slowly lift her lids. After blinking a moment, she scanned the room for Inuyasha, and found him nowhere in sight. She yawned for a moment, stretching her arms above her head before glancing at the clock. It was only seven, so she supposed he might have gotten up already for breakfast.
But he could have waited for me, she grumbled, sitting and getting out of bed as well, her large belly hindering her slightly. She liked waking up beside him in the mornings, and most especially, getting her morning kiss.
Kagome felt the small hanyou squirm inside her, and she smiled slightly, rubbing her belly. You miss him too, huh?
She decided she might as well go downstairs and find him, and let him know that she didn't like not waking up beside him this morning. But just as she crossed the room, finger combing her bed ruffled hair to look a bit more presentable, something caught her eye. Kagome turned, to see a folded piece of notebook paper on her desk. It had her name on it.
Kagome, still a tiny bit dazed from sleep, cocked her head to the side, much like a confused puppy, before picking it up. It wasn't her mother, grandfather, or brother's handwriting…did Inuyasha write this? She supposed so, since it wasn't like she had ever seen him write before.
She opened it, quickly scanning it without paying attention to its contents. Inuyasha wrote using a few archaic characters that she didn't quite recognize at first, but after rereading the first few sentences, her fingers began to tremble, and her heart dropped in her chest after the meaning sunk in.
Kagome, I'm sorry I had to do this, but you have to understand, I'm trying to keep you and the baby safe. I'll be gone by the time you read this—
Kagome didn't finish reading; she didn't need to. She understood perfectly well what the letter was saying. Inuyasha was leaving her; he was leaving her because he thought he couldn't protect her.
It didn't matter what he thought, she couldn't let him leave!
Sprinting out of her room, Kagome prayed that she wasn't too late as she leapt down the stairs, running past her confused family and dashing outdoors. As she ran across the courtyard, she saw red dressed silver haired man walking past Goshinboku.
"Inuyasha!" she cried, making him turn as she barreled into him, her eyes leaking tears as she fisted her hands in her haori and cried into his chest. "Please, don't leave me!
"Kagome!" he said in alarm, wishing it hadn't come to this. It would have been easier to leave her if she hadn't come to him now. Judging by her crying and her conversation, she had read the letter. Sighing, he held her back, speaking to her softly, "Kagome…I told you I have to go…You're safe here; you need to stay behind this time."
Her head shot up at him, chocolate eyes leaking tears as she looked at him with despair. "No! I said I would always stay with you, Inuyasha…" her voice cracked with another sob. "I told you I'd never leave you!"
"Kagome…" His voice strained as well, because at that moment, he felt like grabbing her and assuring her that he'd say with her forever. "It's different this time…I'm going to find Naraku, you can't come back with me."
"Why not?" she demanded. "Why can't I just come and stay with you?"
His gentle hand drifted over the curve in her belly. "Because you're pregnant now," he replied, his voice grave. The orange light of morning made his amber eyes sparkle, but their intentional look was dull, closing the window to his soul, instead of being open like it had been for so long. Inuyasha swallowed, continuing, "You can't fight like this, Kagome, you know it. And I don't know if I could keep you safe. And if anything happened to you, or the baby, then I could never forgive myself!"
"I promise I won't try to fight," Kagome pleaded, her tear stained face worrisome and fearful like a child's. "Please…just take me back with you…I need you, Inuyasha."
"Kagome…I…" How was he supposed to respond to that? "I promised you before, I won't let our child be born into a world where Naraku still exists. And I intend to fulfill that promise…Kagome, I know you don't want to stay behind, and I don't want to leave you here either, but…" Inuyasha felt himself tremble at saying these words, knowing he was hurting the woman he loved. He had been through much sadness, but he could honestly say that this was possibly the saddest moment of his life—where he had to leave the one he loved to pursue a goal he wasn't sure he wanted anymore.
He didn't say anymore words. Inuyasha suddenly felt his arms, of their own accord, pull her into his embrace, burying his nose in her hair and taking in her scent. She hugged him back with the same amount of desperation. Tears fell onto his haori, and one even escaped his eyes to land unseen in her hair. His grip tightened, pressing her closer against him so he could feel the bulge in her belly hindering their attempts to get closer.
"I love you, Kagome," he said, feeling her tremble against him. "Just…know that."
"I love you too, Inuyasha…" her shaking voice replied, before pulling away slightly, looking into his eyes with urgency. "Please…come back…"
He tried to smile to reassure her, but the smile failed, "I'll come back before you know it," he replied, resting his hand on her belly. "I want to see our pup born, safe and sound."
Kagome nodded once, but her face fell and she succumbed to tears once more. Inuyasha gently tilted her head to face his before he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. It was short, and sweet, not desperate like their hug had been before. When he pulled away, just looking at Kagome's expression made him feel like crying as well. His face fell; and before he turned away, he murmured, "Goodbye…"
"Inuyasha…" Kagome whispered, watching Inuyasha walk towards the well, leaving her standing in front of Goshinboku. She reached a hand out to him, as if to grasp him and pull him back into her arms. "Inuyasha!" she cried, once he slid open the door of the well house to walk in, never looking back.
Looking back would have been too much.
"Inuyasha!" she screamed, once she knew he was gone. He would not be coming back through. And though she wanted to run after him, she knew he would only take the shards and leave her in her time again, without her connection to him at all.
Alone.
She was all alone, now without her friend, her lover, her pillar of strength, and her very purpose for living.
All Alone.
Tears fell into the dirt as she sank to her knees, clutching her belly. The baby squirmed, sensing her sadness. "He's gone…" she cried, feeling herself begin to shake. "He's gone…and he's never coming back!"
