Chapter 30
Lexie awoke the next morning to the strange sensation of having no idea where she was. She opened her eyes and looked around with blurred vision at her surroundings, which were completely unfamiliar. She was in a large, queen-sized bed with black satin sheets and a deep, rich green, silver and black embroidered comforter. The carpet was black as far as she could see and the handsome oak furniture stood out dramatically against it. There was a large dresser with a full-sized mirror attached, a chest of drawers and a bookshelf, full of books that stretched almost the whole way along one wall; stuffed full of books of all shapes, sizes and colors. She lifted her head up a little and found herself surrounded by pillows, green, silver, black. Throw pillows, regular pillows, different styles and textures. The bed had hangings, but they were pulled open and were also dark green in color. There were two doors leading out of this strange room. One apparently leading to a lavatory, another, she couldn't remember where it lead to.
And then it began to come back to her. "Mmm…" she breathed as the events from the night before made their way to the front of her memory. She flopped her head back down on the pillow and let herself flash back.
"I don't want to be alone tonight." She said into his ear. "Please don't make me go back to that room … with those… girls…" she begged.
Snape swallowed hard. Her cheek was brushing his. This was the closest to a proposition she'd given him since they'd met. It couldn't have been more clear what she wanted. And as much as he tried to deny it… he wanted it as well. But not like this. Regardless of the fact that she was soon to be a Hogwarts graduate and Death Eater, the fact remained that she was indeed still a student. His student. And he'd never crossed that line before, out of respect for Dumbledore's kindness toward him. He wasn't about to betray his trust now.
Another thought had occurred to him as well. Taking this relationship beyond its plutonic status could become dangerous. Once she was 'marked', she would more than likely rise to be one of the most powerful, respected Death Eaters there were. Lucius Malfoy, the Dark Lord's former right-hand-man had taken a liking to her straight away. It didn't hurt her that she was beautiful, talented, intelligent and assertive. It was common knowledge that the Death Eaters were casually looking for a strong female to emerge and keep the balance of power. The 'beta-female'. She could potentially be that female… and that meant that she'd be calling a lot of the shots. Perhaps even for him. He was very rarely allowed to make decisions for himself regarding Death Eater activity. The reasoning for this was simple; no one trusted him. And he didn't blame them one bit. So… as far as Alexandra Bane was concerned, he was going to keep the power in his court while he still had the chance, if even for his own selfish pride.
And furthermore, it wouldn't be right. She was vulnerable. She had just found out that her birth parents were dead and that her only living relative wasn't worthy to lick the dirt from her shoes, by the sounds of things. He would be taking advantage of her. And that wasn't his style.
He leaned back and detached her hands from his hair, holding her by the wrists he pulled her away from him. He took a deep breath and said, "I think I have just the solution to that, Miss Bane."
"Do you!" she asked, surprised and equally as excited.
He took her by the hips and pushed her off of his lap. "Come with me." He said, taking her by the wrist, never the hand, for that showed intimacy. Holding her by the wrist showed control.
Her heart was thundering in her chest at the perspective at what might happen next. He led her out into the hall, and two doors down from his office. Lexie had just assumed this was one of Filch's old broom closets or something. She couldn't have been more wrong.
He lifted the wards on the door and swung it inwards. Inside was the room she was now lying in.
"This was supposed to be the surprise solution to your roommate problem." He said flatly, sounding disappointed that his surprise had been revealed before it was properly ready.
"Is this…for me?" she asked standing next to him, marveling in the beautiful Old English décor.
"I have been considering the need for you to have your own quarters for some time now. The less you have to interact with your peers, the better." He said. "Besides, it would benefit us all to never have to see you looking like you did this morning, again." He said dryly.
Lexie's face lit up. She ignored his comment in the sheer ecstasy of it all. Her own room! This was perfect! It was better than perfect. She rushed inside and began to look everything over, like a kid in a candy store. But what caught her attention the most was the multi-shelved bookcase. It was full of every selection she'd ever wanted to read. Everything from the Classics, to Potions selections and…
"Charm Work for Dummies?" she asked, holding out a black and yellow lettered book and looking at him with a raised eyebrow.
He said nothing, but smiled.
She shook her head and replaced it. "Professor…" she said, moments later as she perused the shelf. "This is wonderful!" she gushed. "Did you do all of this?" she asked.
He nodded.
"And the books?" she turned around to look at them once again. She loved to read more than almost anything in the world and had made the point of telling him that more than once.
"Some came from my personal collection. You may be interested in a few of them. Others are ones that the library was about to throw out at the end of last year, which I salvaged and put away until the hour of need." He said as he leaned against the doorway, arms crossed casually. "But the charms text… I took the initiative and purchased that one myself."
Lexie couldn't help but smile as she looked down at Charm Work for Dummies. "So… how long have you been planning this?" she asked.
Snape looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. "For quite some time now actually. The thought first occurred to me when you approached me about wanting to become a Death Eater. I thought that our training sessions might draw your roommates attention to you. But then, it did not seem to be a pressing issue at the time. And back then… I didn't know how you well you were getting along with your roommates. But… after the… scuffle… in your room the night of the dance, I went ahead and set this up." He said looking around the room.
"This is wonderful. It's just perfect. Thank you." She said gratefully, clutching her book to her chest.
He only nodded.
"So…" she said, crossing the room to stand in front of him. "No chance of getting you to hang around for a night cap?" she asked, a bit more coy than she had been in his office.
He pursed his lips. "Not tonight." He said, regretfully. "Get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning." He said, backing out the door.
And so Lexie was left to enjoy the idea of having her room, the privacy, the solitude, the silence. And she relished it.
The only problem with this scenario was that it gave her an awful lot of time to think. Perhaps too much time.
Before she crawled into her luxurious bed that evening, she spent a lot of time thinking about her feelings for Snape and what Sophie would say if she knew how she felt about Snape. But that posed the question; how did she feel about Snape?
There was certainly an abundance of sexual tension between them. But beyond that, what was her connection with him? A better question was, if there was a connection between them at all? She argued with herself for some time.
He'd been… kind to her at times. Downright compassionate. However, there was still the undeniable fact that it could all be an act. But those eyes… they were both hollow and empty… but at the same time, full of emotion and passion. Could he really be leading her on?
She knew she had to meet with Sophie on Saturday. Lexie had kept up her end of their bargain, and had been meeting with her boss weekly, or at very least corresponding via owl. She was dreading this meeting more than any of the rest. For things had changed dramatically. What he had done for her tonight… taking her to the church… and fixing up this room for her… it had changed things between them.
The issue was no longer guilt or innocence. She was officially emotionally involved. Could her findings possibly become tainted by her feelings for him; her burning desire for him to be good? Was she being blinded to his flaws because she cared for him? Was she being impartial?
Lexie shook her head. She felt a migraine coming on. She hadn't had one of these in a long time. They usually followed a premonition. But she hadn't had one in months. Not since the night she'd had the flashback of Snape being tortured by Malfoy.
She began to feel guilt creep into her conscious mind, for her behavior in his office earlier. Not only had she shown incredible weakness in front of him, but she'd blatantly propositioned him. Had he not been thinking straight, they might be somewhere in bed together right now. And she didn't know how she felt about that. Of course… it would've been fantastic… but at what cost? What would the ramifications have been?
There were times when she looked at him that she'd felt as though she'd found her male counterpart. He was all alone. He never let anyone get too close. Terribly talented, brilliant and yet… there was a part of him that seemed so melancholy. She wondered what had happened in his past that made him that way. Could it be something similar to what had happened to her?
"No wonder my head hurts." Lexie thought vaguely. Her mind was all over the place. It was as though she suddenly had A.D.D. She couldn't concentrate on one issue long enough to come to a rational conclusion.
She shed the outer layer of her clothing and crawled into her new bed. The last thought that crossed her mind before she surrendered to sleep was thus; "If he really is a Death Eater… and he's still loyal to the Dark Lord… is there any way I can bring him back? Can I save him?"
But then there was nothing. She slept a dreamless sleep until sometime in the middle of the night when she woke up suddenly with a significantly more pressing issue. When she told Snape that her uncle wasn't going to be much of a father figure… well… she'd left out the majority of the story. The fact is that her uncle wasn't just anyone. He was definitely someone. And not a very popular someone in the Wizarding world at the time.
Lexie groaned and rolled over. "How am I going to tell Sophie that my uncle, my only living relative… is Sirius Black?"
