A/N: Ugh. This chapter took me forever. The reason being that this chapter is what made FSWYL. And as such, it had to be made with lots of time and care. I actually was planning on putting the main gist of this chapter into Love of a Hanyou, before I realized it didn't fit there. It deserved its own story. And thus, from this little chapter, the entire story spawned.

So, that's why it took so long. It is now past midnight, and I'm still working on it, though I started yesterday. Pay careful attention, this is the chapter where many (not all) questions will be answered. You may also figure a few things out as for the upcoming chapter.

Oh, and orangepencils, remember way back when I was discussing this chapter and I said it I might include a certain scene that you thought would be cute? ;D. Enjoy.


Chapter 46: Stay With Me

I had never felt more alone in my life…Inuyasha was gone; he had left me alone, while he went after Naraku. When I saw his face, I knew that he didn't have much hope…Naraku had found a new weapon to work against us, and had now mastered it. We were lucky he hadn't killed us all the first time we faced him. The look in Inuyasha's eyes was clear—he didn't think he would be coming back.

Even though I knew his reasoning for trying to keep me safe, I couldn't help but be angry with him. I didn't want to stay behind, while he went off into an uncertain battle. I wanted to be there, at his side, fighting with him. But with the baby now, I knew that I would probably be in some danger since I couldn't use my miko powers. I was defenseless, and that meant I was endangering an unborn child as well. It seemed logical to leave me behind.

But I now I was all alone…without Inuyasha, who was everything to me. I lost him, and it seems like there was nothing more to live for. I had the baby, and since it was his, it was all I had left to keep me sane when I was sick with worry. I had even grabbed the two shards I had left and ran towards the well a couple times, but when I reached it, I would collapse into tears, knowing that I couldn't go after him now, not when he'd be angry.

I was only alone for a day, and already, it seemed like the world was crashing down around me. Whether it was my nerves or the baby I never knew, but it was like my pregnancy instantly got harder. I had to throw up many times, and my back would ache under the strain of the baby, and then I felt it kick frantically within by abdomen, never stopping to give me a goodnight's peace. The message was clear; the baby wanted its father.

Because of the baby, I spent the whole first day alone in bed, crying and barely eating, except when Mama made me, for the baby. It was so much worse when I imagined what Inuyasha would say if he saw me now; insulting me and calling me weak. I remembered what he said about the two lovers in the Lover's Glade, so long ago…how he felt the woman had been too weak to learn to live without her dead lover. I knew how she felt, wanting nothing more but to end her misery and be with him.

But I had to be strong. Inuyasha wanted me to be strong, to stay here and live without him, but I couldn't. I had a weakness as well…he said I was strong, but I never thought of myself like that. Not knowing what happened to him was the worst thing I had ever felt…I wanted to keep hope that he would come back one day, but with all the uncertainties, that hope disappeared.

It wasn't just my hormones that made me an emotional wreck, it was everything…At last, I felt the burden of all that had happened, every mistake Inuyasha and I had made, and now all that love we had built up caused me agony…such agony and pain that I had never felt anything like it before.

By the second day without him, I was like a wound string; it was only a matter of time before I snapped…


Kagome, I'm sorry I had to do this, but you have to understand, I'm trying to keep you and the baby safe. I'll be gone by the time you read this, but I did it because I knew I had to.

I know you're stubborn and won't understand, you know we have to kill Naraku as soon as possible. You can't fight with the baby Kagome, and I won't risk either of you in a battle that I know might cost lives. I want to keep you both safe, and alive, rather than have to live without one of you because of my stupidity.

Trust me when I say, its better that you stay here. I didn't want to leave you behind, and it's harder for me to deal with this than you realize…I need you, Kagome. I've known almost everyday since I met you that I needed you by my side. But this is one time you can't follow me Kagome, I've been stupid plenty of times and have gotten you hurt. I can't afford that now.

Whatever happens to me, just know that I love you, and I'll always be thinking of you until we meet again.

Inuyasha

Kagome re-read Inuyasha's letter over for about the tenth time, feeling the urge to cry as she had so many times before. His short letter wasn't much better than what he said before—he was scared about what would happen to her, and he knew there was a possibility that he might die before the end of battle.

He had always known that, but by the way he had acted in years before, he was confident that he would have defeated Naraku before a scratch had been laid on him. But now, with the baby, and a life he wanted and a threat of loosing it, Kagome could see those small fears were slipping through. It was natural for her to be afraid of his death, but for him to admit that he might die as well made it seem like there was no hope left.

He was strong, so much stronger than she was in some ways. He wasn't afraid of death, not even flinching at the idea. He had told her once that he had been pinned against a tree for fifty years, and in those fifty years, he had felt nothing; there was nothing. His mind was a total blank, and though it was called a spell of "sleep" there was no dreaming. Sometimes he said he was glad of her to have woken him up from that torture, even though it felt like he had been pinned to the tree by Kikyou and then seen her a second later, when he strained his mind, he could slightly remember the emptiness, the void. How then could he be afraid of death, when he lived through that?

Kagome placed a hand on her stomach, closing her eyes with the thought. Please, don't leave me, Inuyasha… The baby kicked inside her, as if to say, I need you too.

"You promised me…" she whispered, her hand clutching the seashell necklace around her neck. "If you break your promise…" angry tears formed in her eyes. "I'll never forgive you!"


"I miss Kagome!" Shippou whined for about the tenth time, while they continued to journey on through the trees, towards Naraku.

"Shut it!" the hanyou roared, tired of hearing the kitsune wail about missing Kagome over and over again. To tell the truth, he couldn't stand it because he missed Kagome just as much, if not more than Shippou did.

Shippou glared at him. "You're a baka, Inuyasha! Why did you leave Kagome behind? She would have been able to keep you under control instead of all moody like you're being—!"

"I said, shut up!" Inuyasha bellowed, thumping the kitsune over the head in the process, causing him to wail.

"Please, you two, stop bickering," Miroku attempted to keep the peace. "There is nothing that can be done about Kagome-sama now, Shippou. She is in her home, and unable to come with us."

"Although, I might have to agree with Shippou, Inuyasha certainly is a lot moodier now that Kagome-chan has left," Sango muttered, rolling her eyes at the scene. Unfortunately, Inuyasha heard her.

"Oh, so now that Kagome's gone your all going to pick on me, huh?" he asked, flexing his claws in a warning. Not that he would ever do anything to his friends, but he certainly felt better threatening them.

Now Kouga, who was still traveling with them, had to cut in. "Just be quiet," he growled. "And stop picking on muttface, Kagome's safe, and that's all that matters, right?"

Everyone quieted down with those words, and for once (though this would be the only time) Inuyasha was glad that Kouga had intervened. He didn't want to go through and explain all his reasons for leaving Kagome behind like he had done.

He missed her terribly, and even sometimes thought that perhaps he should go back and get her…if only to make the ache in his heart from their separation go away. But he stopped himself, knowing that he was doing the right thing. I'm keeping her safe, he told himself. I can't let her get hurt, that's all that matters.

That is what he told himself, over and over again, as the continued traveling throughout the day. And the one time they did stop for a moment, he found himself wandering off slightly, to absentmindedly gaze as a tree that looked a lot like their tree, Goshinboku, and feel as if she was with him, though they were so far apart…


Kagome ran her finger over the shell, unable to stop thinking of Inuyasha. She stood outside, looking at Goshinboku, while almost preying to be in his arms again…just to know he's safe.

It was like the whole world melted away as she continued to stare at the tree, before she felt herself falling into what was almost a dream…


The beads around Inuyasha's neck, the ones that connected him to Kagome, pulsed as he stared at the tree, everything falling away. Though they were so far apart, and in two different worlds, he suddenly saw Kagome, standing in front of him as if they were only a few feet apart.

He couldn't do anything but stare at her, his face grave, matching hers.


Inuyasha…Kagome thought, staring at him from afar. No words were spoken…but it was like they could feel what needed to be said. The shikon shards that she had hung around her neck earlier glowed, making her feel everything, as if she was right there beside him.

His amber eyes looked at her with such emotion, trying to make her understand. Tears formed in Kagome's eyes, wanting to reach out and be held in his arms, one more time. With her face, she pleaded with him, but there was nothing that could be done. He gave an almost shake of his head, telling her without words.


Her face, begging him to reconsider, was enough to make Inuyasha want to hug her once more. Inuyasha reached out to her, almost close enough so that he could hold her to his chest, and run his fingers through her hair once more…one last time…

"Inuyasha?" He turned away, at the noise, and thus the spell was broken.

"Inuyasha," Miroku said, looking at him with a puzzled expression. "We're going back now."

The hanyou did nothing but give a grunt as the monk walked away, before looking back up at the tree, with a twinge of regret in his eyes.


Kagome gave a small gasp as she lowered her hand from her necklace, the shards dulling around her neck, wondering how what had just occurred was possible. The tear that had been in her eyes fell down her cheek, another one coming with it, as she slowly sank to her knees. Their unusual meeting had shown her that Inuyasha was afraid, deathly afraid for her, yet she had probably shown him she was more worried about him. He had done nothing to quell her fears, when he began looking at her as if they would never see each other again.

She heard someone walking behind her. Kagome turned, to see her mother looking at her with a puzzled expression. "Kagome?" she asked, starting to get worried when she noticed her daughter was in a fit of tears.

The cloudy sky seemed even darker as Kagome looked at her mother, giving her a look of pity. It was odd, but somehow, at this moment, Kagome knew what she had to do. Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down, Kagome stood up, belly only hindering her slightly, as she rose to her feet. "I'm sorry, Mama…" she whispered, feeling like she was going to cry again.

Mrs. Higurashi stared. "Sorry? Kagome's what's happened? Are you all right?"

Kagome shook her head as her mother came closer. "No, nothing's wrong, it's…" she reached her hand up to wipe the tears that had been forming in her eyes. She felt another sob coming on, but she managed to keep herself calm, for a while. Looking her mother in the eye, she said softly, "I'm sorry Mama…but…I can't stay here anymore."

Now her mother was getting worried. "Kagome, what are you planning to do? Inuyasha wanted you to stay here, you should just—"

But Kagome burst out, "I'm tired of following what he said! I can't take it! I've tried living without him like this, but I can't! It's terrible not knowing what happened to him! I need to be with him…or at the very least, I need to know! I finally know where I belong…and that's wherever he is."

There was a small silence as Kagome relayed this to her mother, before Mrs. Higurashi asked. "And you are planning to go now? But isn't it dangerous? Kagome, I really think—"

But this talk was taking too long, and Kagome knew she couldn't waste any more time. "Goodbye, Mama!" she called as she dashed for the well, her mother running behind her, calling her back.

"Kagome! Kagome!" she heard her mother yell, as she pushed the door open and jumped into the well, the last despairing "Kagome!" fading as she fell into the timestream.


That was the last time I ever saw my family, or went back to my home. And it was also my grave mistake…going back when I was told to stay put.

I made many mistakes along this path, but this was my worst. Because in going back, I caused a life that would have been safe to die…

I was such a fool…


They continued to walk through the forest, until suddenly, Kirara, who had been walking next to Sango, stopped. The nekomata glanced up at the sky, sniffing slightly, before transforming in a flash of fire. "Kirara?" Sango asked, before the neko youkai took off into the skies. "Kirara!"

"She'll come back," Inuyasha assured the exterminator. "She's got a good nose, she'll find her way back."

Sango glanced back at the direction Kirara had taken off and then back to their group. "Come on, Sango, she can protect herself," Miroku said to her, ushering her along back in the direction she had been heading. Sango glanced once more at where her pet had gone, before turning away and continuing on, yet still wondering what could have brought Kirara to suddenly run off like that.


Kagome climbed out of the well, never having noticed how hard it was to climb before with the baby on her stomach. Most of the time Inuyasha carries me out, she thought, before pulling herself over to land in the soft grass.

Without a minute to spare, she took off towards the village, jogging a little bit slower than normal, thanks to the baby. She finally saw the small cluster of wooden huts, and ran to it, heading towards the one a small distance away from the village first. "Inuyasha!" she called, stumbling through into the hut, to be met with emptiness. "Inuyasha?" she asked, walking to each of the rooms, seeing no one.

Her heart felt heavy, realizing that he had really gone after Naraku the minute he had dropped her in her time. She felt the tears well up in her eyes as she collapsed on their bed, the place where every morning she would wake up and see his face, and feel him holding her all night.

How long would it be before she felt that again? "You left me…" she began to cry. "You really didn't come back for me…" Somehow, after their experience with the tree, she had thought he would come running back for her, to hold her and tell her that he would never leave her again. Perhaps she had misjudged him.

But she wasn't alone in the hut; she heard someone enter and ask, "Kagome?"

Kagome stopped crying for a moment, wiping her eyes and getting up from the bed, sliding open the door and seeing how it was. "Kaede-sama?" she asked, seeing the old miko in the doorway.

"I thought you were in your time," the miko told her, looking grave. "Inuyasha said he left you there for your and the baby's protection."

Kagome spoke softly, "I had to come back…"

Sighing, Kaede told her, "Inuyasha and the others left just after he returned, Kagome…they won't come back until Naraku is dead. You should go back to your own time, where you can be gurenteed of your safety."

"I can't go back," More tears sprouted in her eyes. "I can't! I need Inuyasha…I need to be with him…I couldn't stand being away from him now, not when we're so close!"

Kaede tried to calm her down. "Kagome, whatever your thinking, it's foolish of you to do. You know you cannot fight in this battle, and to bring your child to danger…you know better than this."

"I know what I'm doing is stupid, and selfish, but…" Kagome looked up at her, with pleading eyes. "Kaede…have you ever felt so attached to someone that you thought you would die without them? Did you ever know what its like to feel separated from them and know that you might never see them again?"

Kaede didn't respond, but Kagome hadn't needed an answer. The old miko looked away for a moment, before deciding to give her the ultimate reasoning. "Kagome…you know your miko powers are supposedly dormant at this time, right?"

"Yes," Kagome replied, her hand running slightly over her belly.

The miko paused, knowing this would be hard to say as she turned back to her. "Kagome, your powers may seem dormant, but you will be able to draw upon them if in great need. But don't try it—if you do, there's a chance that—"

She wasn't allowed to finish, as there was a growl from outside. Kagome instantly ran to the doorframe and pulled back the curtain, seeing Kirara in her transformed state standing outside, looking ready to go. "Kirara?" Kagome asked, "You came to bring me back?"

The animal nodded, and Kagome instantly tried to climb on its back, but Kaede ran out after her, pleading, "Wait, Kagome! Don't do this! If you go into battle—"

But Kagome wasn't listening to her as Kirara took off, all her thoughts on Inuyasha. She wondered for a moment what Kaede was trying to say, but somehow knew that if it was important, Inuyasha would tell her. She knew he had spoken to Kaede about some things he hadn't told her yet. Inuyasha, soon, I'll be there! she thought, a smile coming to her face, as Kirara flew off into the slowly darkening sky.

Kaede watched as Kagome left, knowing that Kagome must have been twice as determined as she thought to go see Inuyasha. But she felt that she had made a grave mistake, not making Kagome listen to her. "If she uses any of her powers in battle, then that child will die…" she whispered, praying that it wouldn't be so.


Inuyasha sniffed the air. "I can smell Naraku; we're getting closer."

"Good," Kouga grunted. "I'm in need of a good fight now," he said, cracking his knuckles. They had come on to a plateau, giving a beautiful view of the forest beyond, and Naraku's scent was getting stronger by the minute.

Inuyasha didn't respond, as Kouga thought he would, but merely thought, If we can kill Naraku soon, then that means I can finally go back to Kagome…his heart ached at the separation from her, and even more from their previous meeting. He wanted to be near her; he wanted to hold her tightly in his arms, kiss her tears away and tell her she would be safe.

He felt that now, without her, his life was bland and lonely. He had been with her through so much, and now at their first separation, he realized how much he needed her by his side, her sweet scent calming him down.

At least she's safe…

But that didn't matter to him anymore. He knew that in this battle, either he or Naraku would end up dead. And if it was him, he planned on taking Naraku with him. Would that be the last time he saw her? He knew it could very well have been. Now there was so many things he wished he could have told her, so many things he wished he could have seen or done. Just to hold her in his arms once more, just to feel their child stirring beneath her belly again…

I do want to see her again…he realized, his eyes going from their grumpy state to sadness. I need to see her again.

And then he heard a voice sounding like angels. "Inuyasha!"

He stiffened when he heard that voice. No, it couldn't be. It shouldn't be, and yet…His heart and breath stopped, waiting to hear that voice again, just to make sure it wasn't a dream.

"Inuyasha!" He heard the others turn and gasp, but they had to be mistaken. Inuaysha left her in her time, where she was safe…she wouldn't travel all this way, endanger herself and their pup, even though he told her not to…she wouldn't…would she?

He closed his eyes, and caught a whiff of a beautiful scent on the wind. That was one scent that nothing could ever duplicate. Taking a deep breath, he slowly turned, to see Kirara descend to the ground, carrying the one person he wanted to see, the one person he wanted to send away—Kagome.

Tears were in her eyes as Kirara landed, and she ran to him, running to his chest and wrapping her arms around him. "Kagome?" he asked, staring at her as she looked into his eyes, before all his emotions hit him at once. His Kagome, his angel was back in his arms. He wanted to yell, he wanted to scream, but all he did was lower his head and capture her lips in a desperate kiss.

When he pulled away, her tears having been transferred to his cheeks, and he demanded, "Are you stupid? Why did you come back?"

Kagome looked up at him, like a lost puppy that had just found its home. Tears fell down her cheeks, as they had been for so long, but now they were happy tears of being reunited. "I needed you, Inuyasha…"

Despite his raging, Inuyasha still held her safely in his arms, placing small kisses in her hair, on her cheeks, anywhere he could reach. "But you were safe!"

Kagome's hands traces his face, murmuring, "But I couldn't live like that, without being by your side…Wherever you go, I will follow…"

Inuyasha, seeing her face, gave in, and kissed her once more, before hugging her tightly to his chest. He didn't like endangering their baby or her…but maybe it was a selfish thought, but he needed her as well…and considering that he could even feel their baby kick against her stomach, he was willing to bet the baby wanted to see him too.

"Stay with me," he whispered desperately.

Kagome nodded, "I promise," she said, her voice slightly soggy from crying.

But as they stood there, while their friends watched, they failed to notice the sky suddenly growing dark. They broke apart as they heard a cold chilling laugh and the menacing words, "Then you can both stay together…in Hell."

Naraku slowly rose from beyond the plateau, grinning madly while in his arms, he clutched a tainted purple Shikon no Tama.