A/N: OMG! Title reference!

Anyway, I knew you guys would want to kill me for the last chapter, and I apologize. You see, ever since chapter 1, it's been planned that way, folks. Now, I know I kind of led some of you on to believe the baby would be the one to die, but I only did it because it would be too depressing if you all knew it would be Inuyasha to die from chapter 1, right?

This chapter might make you a little happier, but still remember, 2 chapters left after this!

Also, I got the outline finally finished and tweaked for The Protector of Her Heart, to come out either this weekend or next, depends upon when the first chapter is done. So...just go read now, will ya?


Chapter 48: The Heart Goes On

While Kagome retold that part of the story, she began to tremble, and feel tears build up in her eyes. She had long since gotten over the death of Inuyasha, but…retelling it like this made the wound open up, and feel fresh again. When her friends noticed the small tears rolling down her cheeks, ones she desperately tried to wipe away, Sango tried to comfort her.

"Kagome-chan, if this is hard for you, then we can leave—"

Kagome shook her head, "No, I'm all right…Sometimes it's just…"

"Painful," Sango finished, with a sad look on her face. "I know…Really, Kagome-chan, if its too hard for you, then we can stop here and—"

"No!" she protested. "I can't…I have to finish the story, Sango-chan."

Inuko, who had been falling asleep up until the part about the fight, looked back at his adoptive aunt and uncle. "This part of the story always makes Mama cry," he explained.

While Miroku and Shippou looked upon her with pity and empathy, Sango felt extremely guilty. Here she was, with her husband still alive, and another child already on the way! Did Kagome envy her for it? To see what she could have had…Sango knew Kagome had wanted many children, but she would never have another man's child. Inuyasha, as Kagome had said before, was the one, and only for her.

Our lives could have easily been traded, Sango realized, remembering how Miroku could have died from his Kazaana many times. What would have happened if it was Miroku that died, and not Inuyasha? Would she be in the position that Kagome was in now? I would have been worse, she realized. After all…I would not have had any children afterwards…As she looked on Kagome, smiling down at her son, masking the scar on her heart, the one thing she did only for her child. If it hadn't been for Inuko, I don't think Kagome-chan would have made it…

"Finish the story, Mama!" Inuko begged, before Kagome sighed, and spoke again…


Blank. Empty. That was all I felt after I had seen Inuyasha die in my arms. There were no more tears, but I didn't speak. I couldn't eat. He had died, and it was like a part of me had died as well.

Perhaps it was true. After all, we had been mates…and I knew from the moment he was gone that our bond was broken. I no longer had his lifespan, or his immunity towards human diseases. It didn't matter to me…I wouldn't have wanted to live hundreds of years without him…just a human lifespan might be unbearable.

I didn't speak to anyone, not wanting to, either. Some grieved with endless streams of tears; I didn't. I grieved by it slowly hitting me, little by little. Inuyasha wasn't going to be there when I woke up in the mornings. Inuyasha wasn't going to see our child grow. Inuyasha wouldn't be there to hold me when I got frightened, or love me when I needed him. He was gone…never to return.

I knew, in an instant, that it was my fault entirely. He told me to stay in my time, if I hadn't come back, would he have lived? If I hadn't been so stupid as to not heed his warning? The deeper I sunk into despair, the more I knew that his death was because of me.

And now, you see my great mistake. I was a fool, a fool in love. And look what it had cost me…the one whom I had loved.


The silence on the journey back to Kaede's was deafening. Kagome walked ahead, a blank expression on her face, yet her eyes were so sad, revealing her inner pain. She spoke to no one, neither eating nor sleeping. It was like the love for life that had been within her was lost as well.

Only Kouga and Sango were with her on this way back, Shippou taking the wounded Miroku and Inuyasha's body back with Kirara earlier. It wasn't that far away from the village, only about two days by foot, but nonetheless, it seemed that they couldn't get back fast enough.

Sango watched Kagome, not daring to say anything to her, but occasionally would have to stop herself from weeping on her friend's behalf. Kagome was strong, and had bore pain before, but this…it was like she was broken, unable to feel emotion, though she knew it wasn't true. Sango remembered how happy she had seen Inuyasha and Kagome, that day in the cave, and other times when they were together, smiling and awaiting the birth of their child. Her brother had died, and Sango thought it was impossible to feel worse…but just thinking about her friend's predicament brought up that horrible sadness…If this is what she just felt because of sympathy, then she couldn't imagine what Kagome was feeling at that moment.

Kouga also kept his eyes on Kagome as they continued on. When he had first found out that Kagome and Inuyasha were mates, he remembered that he had been so angry at that moment, and had wished that Inuyasha was out of the picture and he might have a chance with Kagome. But this…he never wanted this. Even if Kagome didn't love him, he knew she had loved Inuyasha with all her heart and soul…and losing him was, in essence, to be losing herself. To top that all off, she still had Inuyasha's baby within her…and Kouga knew that it could either make matters better or worse. I just wanted to see her happy…he thought, his blue eyes looking away sadly.

Sango decided to break the monotony by pointing into the distance. "Look, Kagome! We're almost back to the village!" she said, hoping that would give her friend some comfort. But Kagome said nothing, taking a small sigh and closing her eyes for a moment, before continuing on in their direction towards the village. She walked like one possessed—swinging between reality and illusion.

When they came to the village, the instant the villagers recognized Kagome, the looked away, with somber looks. No doubt they had seen Inuyasha's body and knew what happened. And even in the village, it wasn't like their relationship had been a secret; not when it had gotten out, anyway. Kagome looked down, and pretended not to notice, but Sango could have sworn she saw Kagome wipe a tear out of her eye as they walked into Kaede's hut.

"You're back," the old miko said, before glancing at Kagome, and sighing sadly, going over to finish stirring the stew over the fire. Kagome looked around, to see Miroku sitting up, looking better than when they had sent him off.

Sango immediately ran to him. "Miroku…are you all right?" she asked quietly.

The monk nodded, "I got here in time, and Kaede-sama gave me some antidote, but I think I'll be weak for several days." This was the first time Sango and Kagome had seen Miroku without the glove over his right hand. Sango gasped, before the monk gave a half-smile. "Naraku's defeated, after all…" he spoke quietly, as if he had announced something terrible. In the way of his speech and the looks Sango and Miroku gave each other, Kagome knew that this would have probably been a happy occasion had not Inuyasha…

Kagome noticed that Kouga was near her, as if the closeness would offer her support, but it did not, now. She slowly sat down against the wall, her belly a bit of a burden as she did. "Kaede-sama…" she whispered, not looking at the old miko. "Where is…where is Inuyasha?"

The miko noticed the tremble in her words as Kagome said it, and knew that the poor girl was still suffering greatly. "He's in your hut…I thought he might prefer it…I cleaned him up a bit, after all, he was—" She stopped when she saw Kagome biting back tears, her eyes giving away the terrible pain she was in. "Anyway, he's there now...The funeral's set for today."

Kaede handed her a bowl of stew, but Kagome couldn't eat now. She hadn't been able to eat for a while, but the mention of a funeral, when the reality of Inuyasha's death would sink in on her, was too much. "I'm not hungry," she told her, shaking her head.

"Kagome, please you have to eat," Sango tried to tell her, "If for nothing else…think of the baby."

The baby…That little life that was still alive and well within her…Inuyasha's child. After a short pause, Kagome took the stew. "For the baby," she murmured, eating a little.

Sighing, Kaede continued her previous talk. "The funeral's set for today…we thought we would bury him up by the village temple—"

"No," Kagome cut in, shaking her head. All stared at her, and she looked away for a moment. "Inuyasha…Inuyasha wouldn't want it to be there." Maybe it was still old jealousy, with the thought of Inuyasha being next to Kikyou for eternity, but she also knew that that place wasn't Inuyasha. She knew instinctively he would wish for some place else. But what place… "Goshinboku…" she replied. "That was our…special place."

That was all Kagome could say, but it was all that needed to be said. Kaede nodded, "Yes…that would probably be better…for him."

There was another long silence in the hut, while the full reality of everything was hitting Kagome. Before, she had spoken outside of her normal voice, the feeling of being disconnected protecting her heart from the pain that would come. But a funeral would make it final. Inuyasha was dead, gone, never coming back. Never going to hold her, never going to make her feel safe in his arms, never going to smile and laugh when they were alone…Never again. A hole had been torn in her heart, and there was nothing more to fill it. Her hands shook on the bowl as the thoughts swirled around her. He's never going to be with me…He's never going to make me happy…Never going to fly with me…

And that was when she shut her eyes tightly, and smashed the bowl on to the floor, starting everyone. "Kagome-chan?" Sango asked, but was silence as the tears burst from Kagome's eyes.

"Why did this have to happen?" she cried, her words coming out in sodden screams. "Why…Oh Gods…Why did he have to die? Why couldn't I have listened to him? Why couldn't I have just stayed where he wanted me to? Why couldn't I have done something to save him? Why did he have to leave…me…" sobbed Kagome, before Sango came and pulled Kagome into a comforting hug.

"Kagome, no one can answer those things," her friend whispered to her, as Kagome continued to cry all her pain out. "We don't know why…but it happened, and there's nothing we can do about it."

Kagome's hand rested on her stomach as she continued, "Inuyasha wanted this family…and now because of me, he'll never get to have it! Why was I so selfish? It's all my fault…If I hadn't been so stupid…"

"Kagome, no one is blaming you," Kaede told her softly, hoping to comfort the girl still caught up in sobs. "You had to see him, you know this. It was because you two were mates that you could not stand to be apart…You didn't think; you couldn't think. All you knew was you had to be with him. Kagome, it wasn't your fault that he died."

Kagome clenched her left hand, which she had noticed no longer held the scar on the palm…the one that bound her to Inuyasha. "We aren't mates anymore…and it still hurts…It hurts so much that sometimes I wish I was dead…just to be with him."

"Kagome, that's no way to talk," Shippou said, coming near his surrogate mother. "Inuyasha wouldn't want it--"

"It doesn't matter what he wants now, does it?" Kagome murmured, her tears beginning to recede. "I wouldn't do that…I couldn't…not with the baby, but…I just wish I was with him! Or he was here…I just wish he could come back…"

Thinking over what she had just said, Kagome gasped. I wish he could come back…That was it! Maybe there was a way to bring him back! When Naraku died, they regained the large piece of the Shikon no Tama. When it was put back together, it was said that you could ask a pure wish upon it, and the jewel would disappear.

"That's it…" she whispered, pulling away from Sango.

"What's it?" the youkai exterminator asked, wondering why Kagome suddenly looked hopeful.

"Don't you see, Sango-chan?" Kagome asked, looking almost giddy. "I can wish Inuyasha back! If I use the Shikon no Tama, then maybe he can—"

"Wait, Kagome!" Kaede tried to call her back, but Kagome was already out of the hut, racing for her own. She sighed; it seemed that Inuyasha had rubbed off some of his impulsiveness on her. When the others gave her a puzzled look, Kaede explained, "She'll be disappointed."


Kagome ran into her hut, clutching the Shikon no Tama she had carried with her in her hand, along with the two shards she had. The Shikon no Tama was no longer a deep purple, but was now a pure pink, purified, though still dull, because of the wounds on her heart.

When she was inside, she looked around, remembering this place. Their cups and plates were still there…two sets. The baby's room was still unfinished, but the blanket she had been sewing lay on the floor, next to a small cradle Inuyasha had made, based off designs he had seen in her era. The worst of all came when she walked into their room…and on the floor next to their bed lay Inuyasha.

She felt as if her heart had been clenched when she saw him, lying there like he was in sleep. Kaede was right when she said she had cleaned him up…the blood Kagome remembered that had dried on his haori was gone, along with the holes in the cloth itself. And he didn't look like one who had gone down in battle anymore…just like he was sleeping.

"Inuyasha…" Kagome whispered, her breath shaking as she reached out and grasped his hand, shocked at how cold it was. Seeing him again, like this, brought the tears once more.

But she didn't have time to cry. She wanted to bring him back so he could hold her again, and comfort her, as she needed comforting. Closing her eyes, she placed the two shards into the Shikon no Tama, the pink light filling the room for a moment, before receding, leaving a whole, sparkling pink Shikon no Tama in her hands.

"Please…" Kagome whispered, feeling the pink light whip around her. "Please…bring Inuyasha back…I need him back…He didn't deserve this, you know he didn't. He deserves more…he deserves to see his family, and his child…Happiness…Please, bring him back!"

Suddenly, the pink light filled her vision, until she was certain she was in a void of light pink. Kagome slowly opened her eyes, to find herself not in their hut at all, with Inuyasha next to her, but literally in a bright place, filled to the core with miko energy.

"You have wished upon the Shikon no Tama?" a soft voice said from behind her. Kagome turned; she saw a beautiful young woman, dressed in the armor of a man, but with swirling bright miko energy all around her. She recognized who this woman must be at once.

"Midoriko-sama…" she said, kneeling low before her. "Please…I beg of you…please bring Inuyasha back…you know he didn't deserve this…not this death when there is so much left for him in life."

Kagome heard Midoriko walk towards her. "You are right, he did not deserve this death."

She looked back up at the miko, with a small hope in her eyes. "Then…you'll bring him back, right?"

But to her disappointment, instead of the miko agreeing, Midoriko only sighed and shook her head. "I cannot."

Kagome gaped for a moment, before tears filled her vision. "What…but…I thought…I thought a wish from the jewel—"

"The Shikon no Tama was created when my soul was combined with a youkai's soul, and then expelled from my chest, killing me," Midoriko explained. "It is true the jewel controls many things…It can turn a hanyou into a man, or turn one into a youkai. But the jewel has only power in this world, Kagome. It doesn't hold sway over the next."

The tears spilled over her cheeks. "No…please…please, you have to do something! I just can't…leave him like this…I…I know! I'll find a spell…If Kikyou could be resurrected, then that means—"

"Kagome," Midoriko cut in. "Do you really think he would want to live like that?"

Kagome didn't answer. She didn't need to. Sighing, the miko continued her previous response, "Even if the jewel did hold sway, I could do nothing. He was killed by the Curse of the Shikon no Tama, and nothing can reverse that."

"What do you mean?" Kagome gulped, her tears having paused, for a moment.

Midoriko continued, "The war of the jewel began when I was killed…the Shikon no Tama fell into a pool of my blood, and thus began the Curse of the Shikon no Tama. You see…the curse isn't a normal curse like you would think…it is merely an indicator of when someone's time has come."

"When someone's time has come?" she repeated, not understanding.

"People call it a curse because after you begin to notice a change in the jewel, a death occurs." the miko explained. "The curse does no such thing, it warns of fate. You see, when the jewel is soaked in the blood of one who died in the war of the jewel, another death will occur, a warning to stop the fighting. But the dead are not killed by the jewel, but by other men, or youkai, I suppose."

"But…I don't…Why did Naraku want to use it against us?"

"That hanyou didn't now what he was dealing with, He thought it meant that if you killed a life for the jewel, another life would be taken. That's true, in theory, but the curse will likely backfire and kill the wielder, as it did with him. The curse, if it can, will take those who's lives depend, or depended upon the jewel to live. I died because I created the jewel, Kikyou, who guarded the jewel, was killed by it. Kohaku would have died without his shard, Naraku had waited long for his chance to steal the jewel, and Inuyasha…you might say without the jewel, he would have never met you at all, Kagome."

"I still don't understand why Inuyasha had to die for this…" Kagome looked away.

Midoriko looked on her with pity, "You need to understand something, Kagome. Inuyasha died five hundred years before you were born. This all happened before you existed, don't you see? You should know, that time is all relative. Inuyasha's fate was set out long before you could do anything about it. I suppose he always knew, subconsciously, that he might die in battle."

"But why did fate have to choose him?" Kagome began crying once more. "Why did he, who had so much to live for, have to be sacrificed for this?"

The miko told her, "I do not control fate, Kagome. I do not know why this happened, but it did. It is something that you have to accept."

"But I can't!" Kagome cried, the salty tears staining her cheeks once more. "Midoriko, please…I can't live without him!"

"You are stronger than you think, Kagome," the miko sighed. "You can live without him, and though the prospect is scary, you will. You think you have nothing to live for, but you do."

Kagome collapsed into small sobs, hugging herself across her belly. "How can I live without him, Midoriko? For three years, he has been my life…what will become of me now that he's gone?"

"You have your child to live for, Kagome," Midoriko reminded her, making her temporarly stop crying at her point.. "You have a life you will have to be responsible for. I know now you may think you have nothing left, but you do. After all, didn't you promise Inuyasha that you would raise his child?"

"I did…" Kagome whispered. "I want this child, but...it can't replace his loss..."

"Even so, it is all you have left of him. Cherish its life, brought to you from you and Inuyasha's love." There was another pause before Midoriko asked, "I believe you came to make a wish?"

Kagome shook her head, "I do not have a wish anymore."

"You must have a wish in order to destroy the jewel. Do you have anything?"

She thought for a moment, before replying, "I wish for happiness…for my child…It will have to live without its father and maybe without its mother…" she added, glancing back at Midoriko. "I just…I want it to be happy, and know that both of their parents loved them very much."

The miko asked, "Are you sure you want to wish this now? The well will close when you make this wish, do you not want to go back to your family?"

Kagome shook her head. "I hate doing this to Mama, but…if I go back now, then I'll never be able to come back here, where I belong."

Midoriko nodded, before chanting, casting the spell. That pink place faded, and soon, Kagome found herself back in her hut, sitting next to Inuyasha's body. The jewel was nowhere to be found.

Kagome glanced at Inuyasha's body for only a moment, before collapsing on it, in tears. Allowing herself to take comfort in his presence, one last time.


Hours later, Kagome sat in their hut, alone. Inuyasha's body had been taken for the funeral, but his haori and Tessaiga had been left with her…they would not burn on the funeral pyre. They had tried to leave the kotodoma rosary with her as well, but she couldn't take it. Even when she had offered to take it off him, Inuyasha had insisted on keeping it, to connect him to her. He would not want it taken off now.

She had cried her last tears long ago, and couldn't bear to go to the funeral, knowing she would only sob more. Besides that, she couldn't bear to see Inuyasha, her Inuyasha, burned on a funeral pyre…it would be too much.

Kagome felt the baby kick within her, obviously anxious. The baby wanted its father as well…but it would have to get used to that feeling, sooner or later. Kagome did nothing but bury her head into Inuyasha's haori, remembering the warmth of Inuyasha as he held her close, the masculine, yet comforting scent about him…which would soon begin to fade with time.

But as she was dealing with her grief and the ache in her heart, she heard someone call her. "Kagome?" It was Kouga.

Kagome dropped the haori, straightened herself up, and came to the doorway, to meet the wolf outside. "Kouga-kun?" she asked. "What is it?"

"I was wondering if you're doing okay," he replied, looking away. She recognized that look—he was treading carefully around her, not wanting to make her cry again.

Kagome couldn't bear to look at him as well. "I'm fine…" she answered, though she knew it was a lie.

And Kouga saw through it at once. "No, you're not," he told her, taking the initiative and pulling her into his arms. Kagome didn't pull away, but it wasn't the same as Inuyasha holding her, that was for sure. "Look…neither you or Inuyasha deserved this," Kagome was glad he had used Inuyasha's name though. "I know how much you loved him…and I know that he should have had much more than he got…Kagome, you're all alone now, and soon going to have a child…Just tell me, if there's anything I can do—"

That was when Kagome pushed away. "No, Kouga-kun," she told him softly. "There's nothing you can do for me…I know what it is you're asking, and…I can't do it. Inuyasha is dead, Kouga…he was the only one for me…Even if you want to 'look out' for me…I just couldn't do it, out of respect for Inuyasha." She paused, taking a deep breath, "Frankly, Kouga-kun…I don't want to see you again."

Kouga stared at her in disbelief. "But, Kagome…"

Kagome folded her arms over her pregnant belly, not looking at him as she broke his heart. "Kouga…its not you, it's because…Whenever I see you like this, it reminds me of how Inuyasha would react if he saw us together. I know its wrong of me to turn my back on your friendship, but…I can't…out of respect for Inuyasha…"

Sighing, the wolf nodded. He figured there would be something like this. "So, are we still friends?"

"We're still friends," Kagome told him, sadly. "We'll always be, but…Kouga-kun, I chose this life…instead of trying to follow mine, go have your own. I know Ayame loves you, and you could have a good life with her. You have a chance at happiness, and I want you to take it, instead of trying to comfort me for the rest of your life."

"I understand," Kouga replied, looking glum. "I know what you're getting at, Kagome, but…you're the only one I could ever love."

"Kouga-kun—" she begged.

"I'm just telling the facts," he spoke. "I won't come to see you if that's what you want, but you know where to find me if you need me."

Kagome nodded, just as Kouga gave her one last sad look, and sped off into the horizon. "Goodbye, Kouga-kun," she whispered, turning back into her hut just as the smoke rose from the funeral pyre alit in the village.


I know it was wrong of me to shatter a friendship like that, but…I couldn't see Kouga without feeling pain, thinking of Inuyasha. I didn't want to send him away, but I couldn't stand knowing he would be around me all the time when he still loved me, with Inuyasha still fresh in his grave.

I should have visited him in his home, but I never did seek him out, and that was the last time I spoke to him. I heard that he and Ayame got mated, and soon Ayame gave birth to a girl, and a boy a year afterwards. Ayame was happy; her dreams had come true. But I knew Kouga would never be truly happy in that arrangement which I had sent him off to.

I'm sorry, Kouga-kun, I wish that I could have honestly stayed your friend…but I suppose that once the past has gone by, we can never change it, can we?


Sesshoumaru watched as the girl sent the wolf along, telling him never to seek her out. The inu youkai sighed, smelling the fires no doubt from his brother's funeral on the breeze. The stoic youkai lord watched as the pregnant Kagome went back into her hut. It seems that Father's line is now reduced to hanyous…he thought, his eyes darting back to the trail of smoke on the horizon.

But even so…Father would have been proud of you, Inuyasha…Sesshoumaru thought, before turning, leaving the small village, and all thoughts of Inuyasha, behind.


Sitting before Goshinboku, Kagome sat in front of where Inuyasha's ashes had been buried that day. It was now the night of what had seemed to be the longest day she had ever gone through. Kagome rested with her hands on her belly, and felt as if Inuyasha was there as well, holding her and stroking her stomach with her, feeling their soon-to-be child.

A sound came from behind, and Kagome turned, to see Kikyou standing there, her shinidama chuu floating all around her. "Kikyou?" Kagome asked, not bothering to hide the swell of her belly from her, even though it still made her feel slightly guilty.

Kikyou looked down at the base of the tree, where Inuyasha's ashes lay. "I am sorry…he did not deserve this death."

Kagome nodded, agreeing with the deceased miko for once. "No, he didn't."

"But neither did you deserve this pain you feel," Kikyou replied, making Kagome turn and look at her with a look of wonder. Did Kikyou just tell her she didn't deserve it either?

"Kikyou…"

"I am going back to death," Kikyou said, cutting in, making Kagome wonder what she meant.

"What?"

Sighing, the miko explained, "I do not belong here anymore, now that Naraku has been defeated. I am going to leave, and go back to death, where I belong. It is peaceful there, and I long to return to my proper place."

Kagome didn't look at her as she asked, "Are you going to see Inuyasha?"

Kikyou turned, as if she was gong to walk away before replying, "I wouldn't be able to see him if I wanted to."

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked, glancing back at her.

Kikyou turned, to look into her face, "Because he is not in death. He would be waiting between death and life, for you." With that the miko left, Kagome knowing it was the last time she would ever see her.

Kagome rubbed gentle circles on her belly, thinking outloud, "Waiting for me…" Almost on cue, a gust of wind blew by, reminding her of the times they flew together.

She looked back at Goshinboku, where she had first seen Inuyasha three years ago. And Kagome knew, once and for all, that though it would be hard, though it would be almost unbearable sometimes, and there would be much pain and tears…she knew that she would be able to do it.

She would be able to go on.