Chapter 2 – Medical Nightmares

Author's Note: Just a head's up for how majorly messed up Vader's condition is. :)

~ Amina Gila


No one is happy about it, but the Alliance reluctantly concedes to try reaching an agreement with Vader, probably only because they don't have much choice right now.

Leia would have expected Vader to be a little happier about it, though, so she doesn't know why the first thing she stumbles into almost right after he was taken to be treated is a panicking med-droid. Because apparently, Vader's being incredibly uncooperative with being treated, and he's destroying things.

Leia can't say why she decides to go when it's probably something security should deal with. She's close by, though, and – Frankly, she has no idea why Vader would be suddenly acting like this, if he's really trying to gain her and Luke's loyalty. And if he wants to be in walking condition.

Leaving the fretting med-droid hovering behind her, she stalks into the room, jolting to a stop at the sight in front of her.

For some reason, she thought – When they said Vader was being violent, she didn't know they meant that he was in the middle of being treated.

She didn't know –

And okay, yes, it's very rude, but she can't help but stare. The man on the operating table now looks nothing like the intimidating Sith he is with his armor. All his limbs are obviously mechanical, and he's mostly out of his armor right now.

But somehow, she didn't expect...

Force, what in the galaxy happened to him? She didn't expect it, but somehow part of her isn't surprised. How he felt in the Force was... So much the opposite of how he acted.

His skin is far too pale, and it looks like layer after layer of healing scars. All of it.

The ones that stand out most are the one running across his head, and one down his right cheek. He has a respirator over his mouth that mostly covers the second one, but she can still see it. The skin right above his arms is also badly scarred, some of it still obviously healing, and unless she's thinking about it too hard, they look like electric burns.

And he's covered in implants. His entire chest seems to be one. She really, really should stop staring.

She just didn't expect... this. He doesn't even look like he should be moving in this kind of health condition, much less leading an army. (Maybe that's why he always seems to be in such a mood. She would be too!)

The other med-droid that was once at his bedside is now rather smashed on the floor, and she's not sure if it's from the Force or his fist.

"Master," Vader mutters to nothing in particular, gaze unconfused as he stares up at the ceiling.

What?

"Vader," Leia calls sharply, crossing the room. Being here is beyond awkward, but she needs to deal with what she came here to. The still understandably nervous med-droid stays in the doorway.

Standing right next to him when he's like this is – is beyond weird, given their history. And... she can feel the fear pouring off him, even stronger than at the crash site, and she doesn't understand why.

"No," Vader practically whimpers, twisting on the bed. He's clearly not present at all, from whatever drugs they gave him, presumably. He doesn't sound anything like Vader without the vocoder either. His voice is barely audible, and it sounds strangely weak.

She swallows past the frustratingly uneasy feeling in her. She just needs to... She doesn't even know. How do you handle situations like this?

"Vader –"

She tries again, then jumps at the sudden metal touching her wrist.

The cyborg's head turns to face her, hand closing over her wrist.

She blinks, heartrate spiking instinctively, only because last time she felt that hand on her –

What is he even doing anyway?

"Leia," he rasps again.

He's looking at her now, and... His eyes are blue. She doesn't know why she thought they might be brown. (Like hers.)

"Let go of me," Leia says stiffly. She doesn't know if she could pull away from the durasteel grip, and she won't try only to fail... Because. And being randomly touched by him is... unnerving. Strange. Besides, she doesn't much want to end up like the droid on the floor if he loses control of himself again.

He releases her wrist just as quickly, and she wonders for a moment if he was even fully aware of touching her at all. "Leia..."

"What?" Why does he keep repeating her name?

He blinks, as though trying to focus. She doesn't know if it's because he can't see properly or because he's only half-aware of what's happening.

"They need to treat you," she says finally, "They can't do that if you're not letting them."

"I am functional," he mutters distantly.

In any other situation, she might have laughed. If only because it's that or – or scream. "You can't even walk," she retorts, "And the second to last time I saw you, you were paralyzed. I don't think you're in much condition to be doing anything right now."

When he doesn't answer immediately, she adds, "If you want to... you know, you need to let the droids do their work." Mentioning 'training' in front of anyone, even a droid, is probably not a good idea.

She didn't mean to move her hand that close to him, but it accidentally brushes against the scarred skin of his arm, right above where the metal meets it.

Vader jolts, abruptly going totally still. "Master..." he utters.

Why does he keep repeating that?

She jerks back, something twisting uneasily in her stomach at the... sickly feel of it. Her mind feels very much like it just stopped working, because she doesn't even know what to think right now. "Why," she demands, "Do you keep saying that? No one else is here."

"He is," Vader insists.

"Who is?"

"My master. He is – He is always here." Why does he keep repeating that word?!

Leia crosses her arms. "You're hallucinating."

"He sees. Always. He can –"

"Who are you talking about?" she demands, ignoring her unease. It's catching her completely off guard, unprepared, and she hates it.

"The Emperor."

"What do you mean he's your master?" she asks, cautiously. Something about the way he's saying it... Yes, she knows he's apparently Vader's Sith teacher or whatever, but – It doesn't sound like that's how he's using the term. That's what so unsettling about it.

"He will search for you. If he knows. He will –"

"How would he know?" Leia cuts him off, "No one could have told him, unless you did."

"In my mind. He sees. Everything."

What?!

A jolt of icy fear runs through her. The Emperor can see into Vader's mind? That means... They could all be in serious danger.

And what does he mean he sees everything? What?

Either he's exaggerating or... speaking of invasions of privacy. No wonder Vader seems so eager at the thought of having a chance to kill him.

She remembers a little too well, that cold presence prodding against her own mind when that Inquisitor was trying to invade her mind years ago. It's never a sensation she wants to feel again. She's never felt so... violated. And that Inquisitor never even saw anything.

But why would the Emperor be doing that to Vader? Without his permission?

(No wonder Vader seemed... to very much know what he was doing when it came to invading minds.)

The way he kept saying 'master' replays through her mind, the way he practically whimpered 'no' about nothing apparent. And it's... Suddenly, she's beginning to feel very sick. She may not have many positive emotions towards him, but... "Did he see anything?"

"I – do not know."

She swallows, past the twisted knot of horror inside of her. "You can't block him out?"

"I cannot. That is not – my place. I must give all that he desires."

She can only stare. "That doesn't mean – You have to let him into your mind?" So what if she sounds slightly hysterical right now. It's worse that she somehow knows what he's saying is true, and he's only saying it because he's very much not present to what he's doing right now.

"I must be – all that he requires of me. But I cannot let him hurt you. I cannot..."

An unidentifiable emotion tightens in her. This is more than she knows how to handle. "I think," she replies tightly, "That it's a little late for that."

She has no idea why the pained look that flashes across his mostly unreadable features (because of how badly they've been scarred) almost hurts. "I am sorry, akku," he rasps, hand reaching up, glove brushing lightly against her cheek.

The only reason she doesn't jerk back is because she can't even remember how to breathe for a moment.

Because what

He just – and that word, what does that word mean

"What drugs did they put you on?" Leia hisses.

He seems to suddenly become slightly more aware, pulling back, arm dropping to his side again. "I must train you," he says.

She shoots a look at the watching med-droid. "He's very... out of it, whatever you gave him."

"Yes," the droid agrees, wheeling a little closer.

"Vader," Leia tries again, straightening, "If that's really what you want, you need to let the droids finish."

She has no idea why a nearly panicked look fills his eyes when the droid moves closer again, but he doesn't lash out, which she counts as win. She should leave. Seriously. This is... Honestly, she thinks he just deserves some privacy.

She's about to back out when Vader must have lashed out with the Force again, because the med-droid goes flying back. He's trying to move, but she doesn't think he really can.

Seriously, what's the matter with him? Either he has no idea what's happening, or... or... She doesn't want to think about the 'or' since the sight of medical droids seems to be giving him a near panic attack.

The sheer power – the Force – that's coiling through the air is a little unnerving, though, and – She needs to make him calm down somehow before this gets worse.

This is very risky, but she cautiously reaches forwards, touching his arm again, ignoring how her stomach squirms a how it feels. And how strange this is.

He stills again immediately, shifting a little so he's leaning into it, a strange amount of desperation leaking into the air around him.

"He is greatly distressed," the med-droid reports unhappily, "You appear to calm him."

"I calm him?" Leia asks dubiously.

"Or perhaps touching him does," the droid replies, looking so hopeful that she'll do something to prevent it from accidentally getting destroyed that she can't quite refuse. (Yes, droids have visible emotions if you actually look. She doesn't care what people say about that.)

"Alright, get to work then," she sighs. Apparently, she's being roped into staying here. She doesn't pull away, and Vader seems a little more relaxed, maybe. Why does he seem so desperate at being touched? Although, who would touch him, honestly? It's not like he has a family that she knows of, and all his limbs are mechanical.

This is weird. It's beyond weird. "Can't you put him under anesthesia?" Leia asks, frowning.

"He is on many drugs I cannot identify the purpose of," the droid replies, "It may interfere with them and cause more harm."

Fine. "Alright, just do what you can."

"Obi-Wan is here," Vader speaks again suddenly, still looking only half present.

She raises an eyebrow. "What of it?"

"He hid you from me."

What is she supposed to say that? She doesn't even know what happened. "He was protecting us," Leia objects.

"Protecting," he echoes, distantly, "Is he? Did he... hurt you?"

Does he have any idea what he's saying, even? Because what? "Why would you even think that?" she demands.

"He was – good. He was – He would not have done this. But he is different now."

What the... "Done what? What are you talking about?"

"He did this," Vader repeats.

"Did what?"

"This," he reiterates. Suddenly, she has the sinking, sickening feeling that he's talking about his condition.

"What?" she breathes, faintly.

"We fought," comes the distant reply.

"And he injured you like this?" Her eyes jump to his limbs. She doesn't know what happened, but he also must've been burned very badly or something. And it doesn't seem like he's been given proper medical treatment since then, for whatever reason. But this – She can't imagine Ben doing something like this. But it feels true. More than that, she knows Ben is hiding something major about Vader, and this suddenly makes so much sense.

"We fought," he repeats, which answers nothing and everything.

Talking seems to be distracting him from what the droids are doing, so she keeps talking, even if it's weird. And invasive, because frankly, he seems to have no control over what he's saying right now. But it's that or dealing with his breathtaking fear. "Is that why you were looking for him? Those years ago?" she presses. And why he was about to kill him on the Death Star? She... can't entirely blame Vader for that, hearing this, even if she can understand why Ben would have tried to kill him. (But how was chopping off all his limbs necessary?!) Some of Vader's injures may be from other things, but...

"I did not know who you were, then. I only wanted to find him. I – only wanted him to remain with me, or... finish it."

"Finish it," Leia echoes numbly.

"What he started. But he would not. I was not – worthy of that mercy."

What what what

"He left me," Vader continues, voice breaking, and oh no no no, do not start crying.

"Look, I don't – know anything about what happened with you and... Obi-Wan, but I don't think now is a good time to talk about it."

Vader falls quiet after that, and she eventually has to pull away from him to let the med-droids work in peace, which he seems none too happy about it, but he doesn't object. Maybe because he's gradually becoming a little more lucid and remembering how he was just acting. The rest of the procedure lasts in silence, and she's never been so grateful when the droid finally reassembles Vader's parts. (Apparently, he can't do that on his own.)

She's never been so grateful to see that armor on him, because seeing him otherwise was... It was...

For a moment, nothing but the sound of the respirator echoes in the room, and she thinks he's a lot more... back to himself now.

"The Alliance Council wants a meeting with you," Leia breaks the uncomfortable silence finally. Well, they really don't want to, but the terms of all this is something they need to discuss. And they want her there since she... has apparently been volunteering to deal with Vader personally and no one else wants to.

Nice.

But after what just happened, she doesn't know what to think of him now. It's easier not to think about it at all.

Like about what Vader was saying about Ben. But she has some serious questions for Ben now, when she actually gets her head back on straight about all this

"Now?" Vader asks shortly.

"Shortly," she relies, turning to leave, "I recommend staying out of trouble meanwhile." She walks out without looking back. She just needs some room to breathe. (She thinks Vader might like the same.)

Final Notes: If you want to join our Discord to receive updates or just hang out, here's the invite link, and please delete the spaces! :) discord . gg / nqSxuz2

You can find us on tumblr at fanfictasia (which is our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes; we also advertise our SW gift exchanges on there)

And! We have a YT channel for tributes! Please delete the spaces in the link. :D youtube channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA

Finally, if you're interested, you can submit a SW gift fic request via the following form (delete the spaces): forms . gle / rmXWtRomMMaULuPa6