Side Note: Yeah so I hate it when my favorite authors leave off with a cliff hanger or something really shocking… like I just did… So brand me hypocrite and give me cookies, but I think it was awesome… ish… I recorded my most resent people that had sent me really nice stuff about meh story so thank you xXxMizukixXx, yaoinut, and spicy strawberry for your reviews! They made me disgustingly happy and gooey inside.
Disclaimer: This is a graphic story, it has it's rating for a reason. This story contains shonen-ai (yaoi), rape, murder, suicide, incest, molestation, betrayal, and deep depression. If you are suffering from depression or have experienced suicide, you shouldn't read this story. If you are Goth… well it's ok to be depressed and read this, just make sure you have some candy corn… if you don't like candy corn or are allergic, that's ok, there is other candy too. I don't own Fake or Evanesance… their new CD is really good!
Long lost words whisper slowly to me,
Still can't find what keeps me here,
When all this time I feel so hallow inside…
I know your still there…
Haunting me…
Evanesance, Haunting
Chapter 4: Sorrow Consumed Rose
The kisses, the hugs, the tears, the sex, the joy, it was all fake. I was gasping for air when I saw him run towards me, I screamed and fell off the bed, the memories were consuming me: how we meet, our first date, the first time we fucked. I was being carried away from my life. I was surrounded by warmth, a hellish heat that was consuming me. I fell into the deep again, this time I didn't want to resurface.
I was gasping for air when I emerged from my sorrowful casa doom. My heart was broken in so many pieces that I knew that I would never be repaired, that I would remain broken and unfeeling until the day that I finally get so deep in the concaved center of my self, that I'll never wake up. A voice was whispering to me, a voice that I used to love so much, a voice that made my world a Technicolor gay wonderland, but now, now it weighs me down like an anvil. "Dee, Dee!" his voice pierced through my honestly flimsy barrier against him.
"Don't touch me!" I screamed while I summoned what little strength I had to break out of his embrace. Arms wrapped around me while I was trying to flee, I didn't recognize these arms so I screamed in terror.
"Shh Dee, it's just me, it's just J.J., Shh, it's alright." J.J. cooed sweetly, I could feel his stair of daggers towards Ryo, but at the moment I didn't care, I would stab him with daggers if I had the chance.
I opened my eyes and saw through the crook of J.J.'s arm Ryo was sitting on the ground his long legs sprawled, he had a hand on his mouth, his charcoal eyes were wide in horror. "You-you…" He stuttered behind the security of his hand, I cut him off before he could start I made sure that he could get the fullness of my acidic stair, I hoped it would cut as deeply as the knife he plunged in my heart.
"I heard enough to figure out that you are a fuck wad, that all you are is a fake, you are just as bad as the shit head who has been raping me for all of these years!" I screamed at him with all I had left.
His ash eyes were wide with mortification, his hand fell to his side limp, his mouth was a gape with shock. It took a moment for him to answer back, I was taking deep breaths to steady myself, J.J. held me tightly in his arms. "Th-that's not true." He whispered I just glared at him through the gap in J.J.'s arms. "I-I would never hurt you, I wasn't supposed to fall for you but I did, I wasn't supposed to get to close but I did. I was just supposed to kill that sick son of a bitch you call your father and was supposed to kill him."
His eyes were full of sorrow, this was a look I had never seen him give me before, one of true regret. Maybe it was my weakened state, maybe it was the love I had for him, maybe it was actually the regret I saw in his black eyes, but I was slowly forgiving him. "I would never hurt you," His words were a promise that I couldn't help but believe. It pissed me off, he was using his sex appeal against me!
"WHY!" I screamed at him, tears were running down my face, I broke free from J.J. and sat right in front of Ryo, my shirt pooled around my elbows, my chest exposed, the scars from nails being dragged along my flesh vivid on my pale skin. I was on my knees, and Ryo crawled up to me I fell into him, hitting his chest with all the strength I had left, crying as I did so, repeating, "why," over and over again until my arms gave out and my head collided with his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and just let me cry. I felt so weak. Why couldn't I ever stay mad at him? Why did I trust him even though I know the truth? The answer was simple, "I love you." I whispered to him, he smiled at me and kissed me. I passed out, I knew why, I was exhausted from trying to be tough, trying to stand up for my self, I knew I couldn't do it on my own, but I also knew that I couldn't do it with out him.
When I wok up I was back in the bed, but this time, Ryo's arms were round me and I was pressed against his chest. I took in a deep smell of him, Drakk Noir… that smell was my save haven. I opened my eyes to see him smiling down at me. I was about to speak but he kissed me. "I think it is time I told you about me Dee, it is only fair that you get to know."
I sighed, secretly I was hoping that it was just a really bad dream, that when I woke up it would have all been just a really bad dream. Obviously I was sadly mistaken. "Let me enjoy my illusion of you just being a normal boyfriend who isn't a hit man and is really sexy and just wants to make lots of love to me." I snuggled against him and he laughed and pulled my closer.
"As much as I would love for that to be true and as much as I would love to make you sweat under me, we really need to talk about my err… job." He grumbled into my hair. I got into a comfortable location when his words made me recoil.
"Oh, you really know how to ruin a mood." I mumbled as I felt my happy morning erection immediately die.
Sighing he pecked my cheek and pulled me back on top of him. At that moment I realized how weak I really was, how I could never hold to my hate of Ryo, of how I could easily just get pulled back into his arms with out fear of what exactly his intentions were. "Well," his voice was sorrowful and filled with regret. I wrapped my arms about his middle and rested on his chest, he rested his chin on me. "When I was growing up I got mixed up with the wrong crowd… I mean the really wrong crowd…"
Ryo's Story , (age 10)
"Please stop it, I don't have any money, so please stop hurting me!" I cried. The boys beating me up paused and laughed.
"You fucking little pussy, if I didn't know any better then I would say that you were a queer little fairy boy now aren't you Ryo?" The leader grinned snidely and they all laughed at the joke. A boy with bright blond hair stepped out of the shadows. He had a metal pipe in on hand and was smacking in into the other hand menacingly.
I looked up and the others turned to face him. "What the fuck do you want kid?" They called to him, I was on all fours in shock. Blood was running down my face and I didn't care.
"Hey we're talking to you!" The snide shit head leader of the ass wipes betting me up yelled. The blond just kept walking, he was pretty interesting looking, His blond hair stood out against his dark tan skin, his eyes were intense but his demeanor was one of somebody ready to kill.
"I don't speak idiot." The kid retorted to the little gang that was drawing closer to him, I couldn't move, between pain and fear I was paralyzed to the spot. They circled him. "What the fuck are you doing on our turf?"
"I don't see your name on it." He said plainly, my eyes never left him. The rest drew nearer.
"It doesn't have to have our name on it, but is has the name of the Italians on it, and we are Italian's and your aren't so get the fuck out of here so we can take care of the whelp, if you stick around, your next." The blond laughed at their threat, I shivered at his response, his laugh was cold and harsh, like snow on fire.
The head of gang was about to punch him when the kid swung the pipe at the Leader's hand. A loud crack filled the alley, the leader doubled over in pain. The rest, like the lemmings they were, jumped the kid and he fought each and every one of them, it was like slow motion to me, they all were falling and howling in pain, holding various appendages. I couldn't scream it was like my throat closed in terror, I was shaking. The boy walked over to me and dropped the pipe to the side, he knelt next to me. "Hey, you ok kid?" His voice had changed, it was kind and soothing.
I just stared for a moment and then remembered how to talk. "I said are you ok?" He asked, his voice was calm still. "I'm ok," I answered softly.
"That's good I was worried they did a pretty bad number to you." He smiled, it gleamed in the light. "I'm Bikky, what's your name?"
I was kinda in shock, I didn't know whether to answer or not. I think the fear was in my eyes, 'cause he spoke again. "I'm not gonna hurt you, looks like they already do enough of that to you that I don't gotta worry about it."
My mouth hung open in dismay, he laughed, I guess that was supposed to be a joke, but I rather found it to be distasteful for the circumstances. "It's ok kid, I've been watching you for a while, you need two things, and I can give it to you, but first I gotta know your name. So what's your name?"
"Randy, but everybody else calls me Ryo…" I clamped a hand over my mouth, my body disobeyed me. Bikky smiled and pulled me to my feet. "Wha-what are the two things I need?"
His smile took my breath away and I couldn't help but smiling too. "You need friends and to know how to fight. I can be your friend and introduce you to other people to be your friends too, and I can teach you how to fight. I mean that way you can stand up for your self, you know?"
"Yeah, thanks for what you did for me…" I blushed and looked away, I was so excited, I had a friend and was gonna learn how to fight.
Side note: well that is the end of chapter 4 I hope you enjoyed it and I hope this explaining everything better, So I am changing roles and ages and adding people, I hope that people enjoyed it, and I'll update as soon as I can and Reviews are wanted and needed for another chapter to be in production soon.
