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Chapter 16: 22nd July 2004

22nd July 2004

Diary,

Twice.

Hermione cried twice this week.

And every time when she cried, I felt like crying along with her.

The first time she cried was on Monday. She finally decided to step out of the house to get some fresh air (a wide-brimmed hat was covering her face). I was left to take care of William in the house, but I was watching her through the window, in case anything happens.

I couldn't see Hermione's face under the hat. All I could see was her strolling around the garden freely.

Suddenly she stopped under a tree, her head low, as if she was looking at something. Her knees gave way and she sat down on the ground.

Then I realized what she was looking at. I cursed and without thinking, I rushed out of the house with William in my arms.

I hurried to my girlfriend. "Hermione…"

Hermione looked up and turned her head at me. Tears were in her eyes. "Please tell me that's not what I think it is." she whispered and pointed at the object in front of her.

I kneeled down beside her and nodded slowly. "Yes, it's Julia's tombstone."

Hermione closed her eyes slowly and let her tears rolled down her cheeks. "Why did you…"

"I need something to remind me of her." I said quietly. "I'm sorry, Darling. You shouldn't be seeing this…"

Hermione lowered her head and wept. Her shoulders shook as she cried. The memory is just too painful for her, and for me. We could have Julia but no, she died unfairly.

Hermione then moved closer to the tombstone and touched it. She sniffled and whispered, "I'm sorry, Julia…"

"Hermione… at least we still have William." I said finally. "… Y-your month is almost up, we must spend the rest of your days here as a family happily."

Hermione looked at me, then at our baby, who was looking around at his new surroundings innocently.

"Yes… we still have William…" said Hermione. I gave William to her and she hugged him lovingly, pressing her cheek against his and kissing his forehead.

She acted as if she would lose William once she let go.


The second time Hermione cried was today.

Hermione managed to cheer up a little and we spent our last few days like a family.

We even took pictures of our baby and ourselves with my camera. There are so many of them that I think there're enough to fill an entire wall.

Today was just another day for the three of us. Hermione (with William in her arms) and I sat down in the living room and gathered all of the photos that we had taken. We got this huge empty photo album and started to paste photos in it.

For a moment, we did have fun, laughing at each other about our facial expressions in the pictures. We sometimes smiled at William's photos, because he looks so innocent and adorable in the pictures.

Then the doorbell rang. So I went to the door and opened it.

Ginny Weasley was outside. Immediately, I closed the door and called to her that I would be attending her shortly.

"And don't come in! My house is in a mess!" I yelled.

Quickly, I warned Hermione and advised her to go upstairs to my bedroom (Ginny would never dream of going there). So she did, with William. And she hid there.

The living room was in a mess, so I cleaned the whole room by magic and let Ginny in. Turns out that Ginny dropped by just to say 'hi'.

I led her to the kitchen. We sat down and had a cup of tea. We talked about a couple of things, I was careful enough not to talk about my affair with Hermione and the baby.

"Have you found a girlfriend yet?" she asked.

I thought for a while and said no.

"Oh." she said quietly and stirred her tea absentmindedly.

I asked about the Weasleys and Hermione, as if I didn't know what had happened at all.

"Hermione is sick, she left home nearly a month ago to have a vacation."

"Where did she go?" I asked innocently.

Ginny shook her head and said she had no idea.

"Oh. I hope that she gets well soon." I said.

We continued to talk for a while before Ginny decided to leave. I saw her to the door and she asked me when I'm going back to The Burrow again to see the rest of the Weasleys.

I smiled slightly and said, "When I'm free."

Ha, I won't step foot in that house again, not when that foul git is still around…

Ginny nodded and gave me a goodbye kiss on the cheek before she left. I closed the door and ran upstairs to get Hermione out.

But when I arrived on the second floor, I saw her sitting there, on my bed, with tear stains on her cheeks. William was in her arms.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" I asked.

Hermione looked at me sadly and turned her head away. Immediately I knew that I had said something stupid.

I sat down beside her. "Sorry." I whispered.

"I can't stand it, Harry." she said. "All this while I have been hiding, hiding my feelings for you in public, hiding my identity as a mother… I feel like I'm trapped in a cage… I'm so tired... "

I put my arms around her and held her close as she cried.

To be honest, I'm tired as well. When is this going to end? When will Hermione, William and I get to go out as a family freely without any worries?

Sometimes I think whether it is right to love Hermione. Will it be better if I just continue my relationship with Ginny and Hermione just go and be Ron's loyal wife?

Okay, now I'm physically tired, I'm going to bed (Hermione decides to take care of William by herself at night, I can't change her mind about that).

Until then,
Harry