"Mom, why does this have to happen?" the blond girl sobbed into her pillow, not expecting an answer, but trying to make herself feel better. She was in her teens, but still, it hurt. "Mom, you can't leave me like this," she cried out, as if it could bring her mother back. She shrank down into her bed, sobs wracking her fragile body. Her father came up and ran his fingers through her hair, holding her tight until the sobs weakened and faded, muttering soothing whispers.
"It's okay, Sammy, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay, Sammy, I'll make it be okay," he seemed to be trying to reassure himself, his daughter drew comfort from the tone of his voice as he rocked back and forth, muttering those words to calm her. He didn't know what to do, he'd lost his wife, if Sammy kept up like this, he'd loose her too, and he couldn't take that. "I love you Sammy," he whispered in his daughter's ear, "I'll love you forever," what he didn't say was I'll love you till I die.
2001
She was caught in a caved in Tok'ra tunnel, alone with the man, boy really, and the symbiote who fought to save his life. Elliot was strong, but injured and therefore relatively weak. Lantash, the symbiote was in a worse state, having barely escaped from a host who had died and having been held in stasis since then. Running through her mind as she hastened to reassure her dieing friend and admirer, were the same thoughts she had when Martouf was dieing. Don't die on me, Dammit! I can't take losing someone else. I need you. You can't die. For god's sake just hold on, we'll save you. When they parted ways slightly later, both of them knew that Elliot and Lantash would die. Sam had cried in her room after she had returned to the base, remembering how her father had held her in his arms and made everything okay when her mom died.
Several weeks later
"He stole some Naquadria for us. He took a big risk, he said it was because of what you did. I think it could be important and I wanted you to know that. You have an effect on people, Daniel. The way you look at things, it changed me too. I see what really matters. I don't know why we wait to tell people how we really feel. I guess I hoped that you always knew." Sam whispered to her friend and colleague, she whispered because her voice was restricted by tears. Sam was watching one of her best friends die from radiation poisoning, one of the worst deaths he could die from. He no longer looked human, but rather like the mummies one sees in a museum.
Daniel was a man of action, always moving, a smile on his face, eagerly wrapped up in his tasks, not laying lethargically on a bed, dieing. Daniel couldn't die. He had been thought dead so many times, but he always lived. Daniel was like a child, eager, happy. He couldn't be held down. Sam felt the tears well up in her eyes again; it was hard to lose someone you care about, so hard. Even as she tried to stop them, the tears began to fall on her lap, splashing onto Daniel's hand. So hard for her to lose him now, part of a family she chose... part of herself.
Early 2005
"Didn't wanna spoil your wedding. Now, I thought we could make it," Jacob whispered to his blond daughter, looking at the young woman before him with pride. How did his daughter grow up to be such a wonderful young woman? She had saved the universe countless times and given him a new lease on life when he was dieing from cancer. Sam meant the world to him; she was the only link he had to his wife who had died all those years ago.
"We?" Sam asked, tears welling up in her eyes, looking down at the man who had raised her, the man who she cared enough about to save him when no medical care in this world could; she had given him life anew. She didn't like the figure that represented strength in her life to talk like that. He had never spoken like that before, and it hurt, like it had when her mother died.
"He's barely alive. I'm gonna die with him, Sam," Jacob's eyes brimmed with tears that dared to make their presence known. His daughter looked at him and mouthed the word "Daddy" as she held his hand, squeezing it. And the tears ran down her face, even as she tried to hide them. She mouthed the words "I love you," because no sound could force its way through that sorrow confined throat. Sam gasped for breath as she tasted the salt of the tears that ran down her cheeks to splash on her hands and mingle with her father's tears.
Several hours later
"Daddy," Sam managed to get out between the sobs that wracked her body, bringing back the memory of the past, when she had been a scared teen, sobbing on her bed in pain from loosing her mom. She was not much better now, a grown woman crying on her bed, sobbing from the pain of loosing her dad. A hand ran through her hair once more, just like in her memory, and a man held her close to him, rocking back and forth, holding her head ion his hands, whispering, more to comfort himself than to comfort Sam, "It's okay, Sammy, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay, Sammy, I'll make it be okay," the voice was as familiar as her father's but right now she couldn't tell where she was or how old she was, or even who held her. For a moment she was Sammy again, just a lost little girl, crying because she lost her parent, being rocked back and forth in her father's arms.
A tear fell on Sam's head, bringing her back to the present, when she was in the air force and not high school, where she was a woman, not a teen. Sam looked up, seeing, glistening through the tears, the form of a man, his bald head gleamed in the light, he had his eyes closed and was talking to himself. "Jacob, what do we do now? What will Sam do without you? What will I do with out you my old friend?" Another tear fell from his eyes, and Sam reached up and wiped the next tear from his face, and the man opened his red, teary eyes to look at Sam, and blinked away the next tear. "I'm sorry, Sammy," he whispered, having as hard a time with loosing Jacob as Sam was.
"Thank you, Uncle George," Sammy whispered to the man who held her, forgetting once more the time she was in and becoming the hurt little girl she had been when her mother had died. Even though this was a lifetime later, it was the same. She wasn't Samantha Carter, USAF, she was just Sammy Carter, the teenager dreaming of a future among the stars but being grounded by death. Tear streak face lifted to meet the face of the strong man that held her close, a face which was also red with sorrow, eyes red with tears, lines of wet running down the cheeks as General Hammond mourned the loss of one of his best friend.
The two met eyes and started rocking again, clinging to each other in some hope that maybe that could make the world right again. That maybe, just maybe, Sam could wake up and be Sammy again, kissing her mom goodbye as she left for school, hugging her as she said those simple words, " I love you, honey," word Sam had no parent to tell her, words she could never hear from her mother's lips again. Unless she would wake and find that her entire life was a dream, a nightmare that her mom would make go away, like she had when Sam was five years old, little Sammy, bouncing on Uncle George's leg as they played, Jacob and his loving wife laughing with their daughter as she smiled at her Uncle.
But that could never happen again, and Sam cried for her Mother, for Elliot, for Martouf, for Lantash, for Daniel, for her dad, and more so for Sammy, because Sammy had no one to help her. Sam kept crying for Sammy, because Sammy had been forced to grow up in a day, forced from a child to an adult in a few minutes, her chance to grow up naturally stolen away by fate. Sammy, who was alone, and she was hurt. Sammy was once more crying on her daddy's lap because she had just lost her mother. Sammy heard the voice once more, "It's okay, Sammy, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay, Sammy, I'll make it be okay," and the tears welled up in Sam's eyes as General Hammond rocked his god-daughter to sleep, whispering to her.
"It's okay, Sammy, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay, Sammy, I'll make it be okay," General Hammond laid Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter, his god-daughter, on her bed once she had finally fallen to sleep and crept out of the room. The marriage vows Sam would have taken shortly thereafter if her fiancé hadn't dumped her had more than one meaning.
Everyone was with Sammy, till death did they part. The General knew it, but Sam didn't, she was hurt too often to realize it.
