You will succumb to me
A couple of days later House caught and cornered him the cafeteria.
He plopped himself into the seat next to Wilson, who all but jumped up and left. Edginess in his presence: another symptom. They just kept adding up.
"You've been avoiding me."
Wilson couldn't leave without confirming the statement, and they both knew it. He was forced to endure this. "Because it all comes back to you." And now he was saving face by ridiculing House.
"It's all relative, baby, and I'm stuck with my point of view. But it's you we're discussing. Avoiding me."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Not."
"You're going to force me into listing the evidence, aren't you? Couldn't you be less annoying?"
"It's not in my nature, sorry."
"Annoying it is, then. Case the first, you come back to work and you don't drop by for tea and biscuits or even a hello."
"I was busy catching up on my work- next time I'll be sure to check in with you."
"Case the second: you do not actually have meetings everyday."
"Have you ever looked at my schedule? My secretary will be happy to show you my calendar. The thing's booked."
"Case the third: lunch seems to have become a thing of the past."
"I'm sitting here, aren't I?"
"There's always an exception. So you forgot to pack a lunch today and got hungry, like people are wont to do."
"This is so eighth-grade of you, by the way. Later we can form a secret group and hand-shake."
"Case the fourth: you haven't been answering my phone calls."
"What, the 'I'm watching Everwood rerun marathon' series of messages? I hadn't realized they required an actual reply."
"Case the fifth: whenever we've been in the same place at the same time, you're undeniably jumpy. Which brings me to case number six, which, with all the evidence it makes for a damning verdict: you're having difficulty maintaining eye contact with me. It's a clear sign of guilt."
"This is the sound of paranoia."
"I've known you for how many years? And you've never been too busy to leave your client for a second or half an hour, to leave a wife in the lurch- I'm not buying your innocent act. Are you going to eat that?" House nabbed a fry from Wilson's tray.
"Fine. Say I have been avoiding you. What of it?"
"I want to know why."
"Sometimes a man needs his space."
"Don't lace it with sugar. Be a man! Say it straight: I need my space."
"I needed space. I needed to get away from you, because you were getting on my nerves. It's the same reason why I moved out in the first place. There. Happy?"
"Ecstatic." His voice was devoid of all ecstasy.
This deflated Wilson. "Look, I'm so—"
"Maybe we should work something out. A sign on your door, perhaps. 'On nerves', 'Not on nerves.' That way we can avoid mixed signals."
"It's—"
"My fault, I know. I should know my boundaries better. I'll paint out guide lines, I promise not to step into your precious space anymore."
"You did ask, House."
"And you felt that way."
"It was too much! I felt like I was overwhelmed by you. You were just always there, everywhere I looked. I got out before I snapped."
"That explains why you moved out. Which, by the way, I think was a fine move. It doesn't explain why you're still treating me like the plague."
"Recovery."
"You're lying."
Wilson threw his hands up the air. "Glad to establish that, and gladder still that you trust me. It was a very productive conversation, thank you ever so much." He took his lunch tray and left.
"It was the first time you looked me in the eye!" House yelled after him. "Of course you were lying!"
