(Author's Note: I have probably written this chapter at least a million times in my head, but it never really came out right on "paper". Finally, I just decided to throw out what I had, since obviously the writer's block was not going to go away... So I apologize in advance. This isn't entirely the best it could be, but if I don't continue the story somehow, it'll end up collecting dust, unfinished. Hopefully this is good enough to keep you interested, further the story, and get us to some more interesting events.)
Theme Song: Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
"Are you nervous?"
Sebastian turned away from the window and looked at the farmer, who was sitting in the passenger seat. She'd tried to sit in the back with him, but after much insisting and lying about wanting to stretch out on the bench by himself, he'd convinced her to sit up front. Everyone knew that shotgun was the best place to ride.
"About what?"
"Meeting your dad," she had turned her body so she was looking back at him, her bright eyes searching his face for any clues as to how he was feeling.
"Nah," he shrugged. "We've written back and forth enough, I feel like I know him fairly well."
"What about the Egg Festival?"
"Why would I be nervous about that?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "You just didn't seem too keen on the festivals last time we talked."
"Mostly the Flower Dance," he made a face and caught Harvey nodding his head in agreement from the driver's seat.
"That one is a little embarrassing," the doctor admitted. "The Egg Festival is mostly a fun time for everyone to get together and eat a lot of food. Then, of course, the kids do the egg hunt…"
"Oh! So it's like Easter!"
Sebastian shared a confused look with Harvey before noticing that the farmer was starting to give him that desperate look she got whenever she was hoping something she'd remembered might be helpful in discovering her identity.
"Erm… Not sure what that is," Sebastian admitted, feeling bad as her face fell.
"But maybe we can look it up as well!" Harvey cut in quickly. The good doctor really did his best to encourage her, even when it felt hopeless.
"Yeah…" she sighed. "I guess."
Sebastian let the silence creep in after that. Harvey didn't seem to have anything helpful to say, either. In fact, everyone seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. Sebastian was doing his best to run through his greeting for his dad, and Harvey had already admitted he was nervous to see his old friend. Of course the farmer was likely caught up in her jumbled memories… In the end, everyone taking time to sort their own thoughts was probably just what their roadtrip needed.
"Are you certain you'll be alright on your own?" Harvey gave Sebastian a worried look through the mirror as he pulled the car over to the side of the road. "I don't know if there are any working payphones in the city, but if you need me to come get you early…"
"I won't," Sebastian assured him, stepping out of the car quickly and looking up at the townhouse that was wedged between the other buildings. It was such a strange mix of domestic and commercial architecture. He turned back to look at the farmer through the window of the car as she watched him with concern to rival the doctor's. "No matter how weird or awkward it is, you don't have to worry about me. Just focus on figuring out what's going on with you. I'll be fine for a few hours."
"Good luck…" was her only reply.
Sebastian nodded to Harvey, and the doctor let out a resigned sigh before pulling out and leaving the young man on the sidewalk, by himself, looking up at the house of a man that he didn't even remember.
"No going back now…" he tucked his hands in his hoodie pocket, trying to hide the fact that they were shaking as he approached the door. With Harvey and the farmer gone, he'd have no choice but to push forward. No more wondering. No more running from the truth.
It was time to reunite with his father.
"He wasn't okay," the farmer shook her head, staring out the window. Harvey got the feeling that she was talking about herself as much as she was talking about Sebastian.
"You're right," he acknowledged her observation. "He probably wasn't. But he knows that this is an important step for him to take in his personal journey, even if he's nervous about it. That's probably why he asked us to leave. He won't have a choice now, unless he wants to sit on the curb for hours on end and hope no one in the house notices…"
"He must be so scared, all by himself…"
"Some journeys have to be taken alone," Harvey gave her a sideways glance, confirming what he already knew. "Even when they make us scared. But just because you feel alone, it doesn't mean you are. He knows we're here for him if and when he needs us. In fact, he could have hopped a bus to come meet his father many times before this, but never did. I have a feeling he just needed someone to nudge him in the right direction, and you…. You just happened to be the right person for the job."
"Yeah…" she sighed, then turned to give him a soft smile. "Thank you for being here with me, too. You could probably tell, but I'm nervous as well."
"Naturally," he smiled. "I'd be concerned if you weren't. To be honest, I'm surprised you trust me enough to drive you to a strange city to see a strange doctor…"
"Well, to be fair, I woke up in a strange and trusted a strange doctor already…" her voice was full of teasing. "Nothing bad happened. So why not continue the trend?"
Harvey cleared his throat, hoping she didn't notice the rising blush on his cheeks, "Well… I hope that this venture ends up being helpful for you."
They were ushered quickly into the clinic upon arrival. The farmer seemed a little dazed and disoriented, but Harvey was used to Cody Connelly's overly excited methods. He took each slip of paperwork that was shoved at his patient and calmly filled them out with as many of the details as they had. At one point he had asked if she wanted to give it a try and maybe filling in the blanks would jog her memory, but she waved it away quickly. He didn't blame her. It was a lot to be dealing with so suddenly.
After a few more minutes of waiting, an assistant quickly whisked them away to their own private waiting room. Upon entering, there was only a single chair and an examination table. The farmer seemed uncomfortable, so he suggested she take the chair while he sat there. It was strange, the role reversal…
"Maybe this was a mistake…"
Those were the first words she had spoken since they'd entered the building.
"Are you feeling overwhelmed?"
She nodded, holding out her hand. It was shaking so badly, Harvey instinctively started to reach out to grab it and comfort her. Luckily, he stopped himself before it was noticeable. At least, he hoped he had.
Instead, he cleared his throat and asked, "Do you want to go? We don't have to stay here, especially if you're having a negative reaction-"
"No, we're here. We should stay."
Then the door swung open suddenly, causing both of them to jump as a young, blonde man burst through the door with a huge smile on his face, "Harvey! Good to see you, buddy! Everyone's been talking about how much they miss you around here since you moved to that little ol' town. What are you doing on the table? You know that's her spot, right?"
Harvey suppressed a groan as he slid off the table and motioned for the farmer to take the spot herself, though what he wanted to do was shove Cody out the door and give him a stern talking to. Fortunately, the farmer seemed like she was taking everything in stride. For now.
"So you're the mystery girl! So good to meet you! I'm Dr. Cody Connelly, but you can just call me Cody. I was so excited when Harvey called me this morning because cases like yours are so rare! Imagine my excitement to be one of the few doctors in the world with a chance to examine you up close! Oh, not that you're just a specimen to me. In fact, you are a very pretty girl. I can see why Harvey wants to help you out so much! Anyway, I already have as much background information as you can probably give me, so what do you say we get these tests underway?"
"Uh…" the farmer looked at Harvey, wide-eyed.
"Erm," Harvey gave her a sympathetic look. "Dr. Connelly, you should probably know that she isn't altogether comfortable…"
"Right! Patient privacy and all! Out you go then, Harvey! Don't you worry! She's in good hands!"
"But-"
He was back out in the waiting room before he had a chance to even process what was happening. As he returned to sit in one of the many padded chairs, he began to mentally prepare a large lecture for Cody Connelly on the proper manner for dealing with patients…
Questions. So many questions.
She didn't know the answers to any of them.
Poking and prodding and gritting her teeth as needles came in contact with her skin.
Waiting. Small talk. Only she didn't talk. She let the doctor take care of that.
People in and out. Then she was in and out. Big machines. Various scans…
Shaking. Endless shaking.
More talking, but now it was muffled, like she was underwater.
Shadows everywhere. Growing larger and larger. Or maybe she was growing smaller. Her heart was pounding over and over again. She was about to disappear into nothingness and then suddenly-
"Sorry about him. Are you feeling alright?"
Clarity.
"Dr. Connelly said he'll be back in a minute," Harvey took the single seat and looked up at the farmer, who was still sitting where she'd been when he'd left… Though he knew she had probably moved around multiple times since then. The clinic itself had been closed for two hours, and they had probably been there for close to six or seven.
The farmer nodded, giving him a smile that relieved the pressure he'd felt on his chest since Cody had pushed him back into the waiting room, "I'm fine. It's just been a long day."
"I should have spoken up more for you. I'm sorry."
"It's not your responsibility to speak for me," she reminded him gently. "I don't think it would have made a difference anyway. Dr. Connelly is… Very exuberant."
"That's a very kind way for you to put it," Harvey smiled, though he still felt bad. "If it's not too personal, did he say anything to you yet? About the results?"
She shook her head, "No, he said he was going to go take another look at the MRI results before you came in. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing."
"Could be either. Could be nothing at all," Harvey shrugged.
"Well the good news is that my dearest Harvey is correct," the door flew open suddenly, causing the doctor and the farmer to both jump. Cody walked in, clipboard in hand. "It's certainly dissociative amnesia. No signs of trauma to the brain."
"Oh! That is wonderful news!" Harvey looked over at the farmer, feeling hopeful.
"How so?" she questioned.
"Amnesia caused by trauma is hard to recover from. Impossible in a lot of cases. Dissociative amnesia though… It's rare that individuals don't recover eventually," Dr. Connelly explained, looking up. "However, it does mean that there is some sort of disconnect going on. A psychological problem. Those are hard to diagnose, especially when one can't remember anything. But it should come back with time. The important thing is to not force it."
"Any suggestions on how to continue forward?" Harvey ventured.
"Try everything. Seek out experiences. Find out what you like and dislike. You never know what could trigger a memory recovery… Or, if you indeed find your memories aren't returning, at least you'll have a better idea of who you are and you won't feel so disconnected from yourself," Cody handed the farmer some of the papers, then reached out to shake her hand. "It was very nice to meet you, Miss. I appreciate you signing off to allow me to use these test results in my research…"
"It was no problem at all," she shook his hand. "You were willing to let us come at the last minute, and we've taken up so much of your day."
"The pleasure was mine, truly. Now, if you don't mind, I need to talk with our dearest Dr. Harvey for just smidge. We have some catching up to do, and I'm sure you're tired of listening to us medical types prattle on. There is some food and drink in the waiting room for you," he opened the door. "Since you haven't had anything all day."
"Thank you!" she sounded genuinely relieved, and not at all worried about Cody's request… Though Harvey knew better than to let his guard down. If Cody wanted to speak in private, there was a good reason for it.
Once the door was closed and the farmer safely out of earshot, Harvey looked down, "Oh, she left her bag."
"It's okay. This'll only take a minute."
Except, Cody didn't immediately start speaking. In fact, he was silent for so long, Harvey finally cleared his throat and spoke first, "You know, if you can't tell her something, you really shouldn't be telling me. There are laws and rules-"
"Yes, I know," Cody waved his hand dismissively. "But this just feels like one of those times when it's important."
"So important that you couldn't say it in front of her?"
"Yes. No. Maybe…" the other doctor looked slightly stumped. "She'll need to know eventually, I'm sure. I'm just not sure that right now is the proper time. She might need to see a psychologist before she's ready-"
"Ready for what?"
"Well… I wasn't lying when I said that we found no brain trauma," the neurologist spoke slowly. Carefully. It was a tone Harvey was familiar with. He'd used it on patients before. He'd used it on that girl's parents right before-
No. Don't think about that.
"But?" Harvey coaxed his fellow doctor, a lump rising in his throat.
"There was trauma. Not to her brain, but to her bones. I'm sure you noticed some of it when she was first brought to you… Deep bruises that are finally healing, minor damage to some of her bones…"
"I couldn't be sure what had been sustained on her trip into my clinic versus what had happened before," he admitted. "But I did wonder about the bruises."
"With this type of amnesia, as you know, emotional trauma is common. And the nature of the injuries… Harvey… I'm not sure it's the best idea for her to be remembering what may have happened before," Cody rubbed his temples with his pointer finger and thumb.
"You think she was attacked?"
"Abused, at the very least. Potentially someone she trusted," the other doctor nodded. "It's not my call to make, but there's something else…"
There was a silence as Cody trailed off. It was a silence that Harvey didn't like. Cody was almost never at a loss for words, but right now he seemed unable to form the sentences needed.
"Cody… What is it?"
The neurologist let out a sigh and then looked at his friend with so much pity, "I'm speaking to you as a friend right now, Harvey. Not as a doctor. Not as your former classmate. A friend."
"O-okay?" Harvey frowned. The sudden seriousness was making him nervous.
"I know that you… Have a tendency to get a little too personal with your patients…" Cody said, trying to tread lightly and it was freaking Harvey out. "And please don't panic. I don't mean that in an inappropriate way. I know that you keep things very professional and that you follow the rules… But emotionally… You get so attached to your patients and in our line of work… It's just not a good thing, man."
Harvey paused, then nodded slowly, "I understand what you mean."
"I'm just… I'm worried that you're going to become really invested in this girl, and something terrible is going to happen. Maybe she'll remember something horrible and it will destroy her and you'll be pulled down in the process. Or maybe she'll remember and take off without saying goodbye and you'll be devastated… No matter what, I'm just looking out for you. Please remember that."
"I will."
"Alright. Just… Promise me you'll be careful. Don't… Don't get too close to her. I can't watch you suffer like that. Not again. None of us can. We miss you here in the city, Harvey. We could really use a doctor like you back here, but that's honestly what she needs as well. A really good doctor who is focused on helping her heal without becoming emotionally involved…" he paused. "But anyway… Just… Keep your distance, alright? Can you promise?"
"Of course."
He said it, but he felt more and more numb as Cody spoke. His colleague was right, of course. He did have a tendency to become too invested in his patients and care way too much about their well-being… Which inevitably led to a total mental collapse when things went wrong…
And things did go wrong.
But even as he spoke the words, he knew that it wasn't as empty a promise as he wanted it to be. Deep down, he knew that his attachments were hindering him. He knew that he was already becoming much too close with his newest patient. Doctors like him… They couldn't really form friendships with those in their care… Why even just thinking about what he'd do when George and Evelyn ran out of time…
"You're right," he spoke more clearly this time, with much more resolve. "I've done my duty as her primary care physician. I'll give her the information for a psychologist here in the city and check-up on her overall well being… But no more."
"Good man!" Cody looked like a load of stress had been taken from his shoulders as he picked up the farmer's bag, threw the door open and led Harvey back to the waiting room. "That's just what I needed to hear."
The farmer didn't look up as they entered quietly. She was speaking with one of the nurses who had stayed late, laughing over their take-out meal. As Harvey watched her interact with the stranger, he was struck by how easily she seemed to make friends and get along with people. She didn't really need him as a friend… And Cody was right. The best way he could help her was to be the best doctor he could.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked as he walked over, waving one final farewell to Dr. Cody Connelly after taking the farmer's bag and returning it to her.
"Yep! And I'm sure Sebastian is waiting for us. We're gonna be a little late picking him up…"
"Then we'd better hurry. Besides, we all need to be well rested for the festivities tomorrow."
"Agreed!"
As they walked out to the car, he had to shove his disappointment down. He'd been hoping this visit would be more productive for them… He'd been hoping he'd be able to help her more… But much like his desire to be close with her and maybe become something more than just acquaintances… His desire to make friends with someone, anyone in town…
It just wasn't meant to be.
This was actually more helpful than we could have hoped for.
The junimo hiding in the farmer's backpack couldn't help but let out a small squeak of relief as the bag was picked up by the city doctor. The entire conversation had been exactly what Rasmodius would have wanted. The doctor's advice to stop forcing and to focus on rebuilding would hopefully keep the farmer busy. Not only that, but the valley doctor, Dr. Harvey, seemed fairly resigned to pulling away from their farmer. The absence of his support and additional help would hinder her progress in recovering her memories.
Now if we could just keep the frog-friend away from her…
But even that problem seemed to be solved, at least for the time being. Once they arrived to pick Sebastian up, he quietly slipped into the car and barely responded to either of the other two humans. Finally, he just told them he'd rather be left alone. The silence on the way home may have been a sad turning point to the three adults and their faltering friendships, but to the junimo… It sounded like much needed success.
Now we just need to enact the next part of the plan. There are plenty of other people in town that she could be friends with… Then she won't need to be lonely. She'll just be… distracted. It's a win-win.
But even as he thought it… Staring at the farmer from a small opening in the bag and seeing her anxiety and heartache for the other two men as she quietly watched out the passenger side window… He couldn't help but feel a small twinge of guilt.
How far were they willing to go? What price were they willing to pay to save their home? And was it really their place to force someone else… A stranger that didn't ask for any of this… To pay it?
The farmer bid an awkward farewell to Harvey and Sebastian after walking them back to the town square once they'd gotten home. Harvey quickly slipped into his clinic and Sebastian turned her offer to walk him the rest of the way home down. He said he needed to think about a few things… He did, however, mention that he'd put out an announcement in the newspaper while in the city.
"If anyone's looking for you and they see that, they'll know where to find you," he had explained.
She got the sense that somehow he felt like he'd let her down, and that was the only help he could give. She wanted to tell him how much it meant and that any help he gave was appreciated, but the words stuck in her throat. She did manage to walk him to the staircase that led to the community center before saying a final goodbye and turning to head home for the night.
It wasn't terribly late yet. In fact, she could see the lights on in the saloon and hear the music still coming from inside. She was just straining to see if she could make out what song was playing when an angry voice cut through the darkness. Before she could even think about her, she was moving towards the sound to see if she could lend a hand.
"Grr… Sounds like those raccoons are back again. Filthy varmints…" George hissed as she turned the corner of his house. "Ah, you turned up at the right moment, miss. Could you do an old man a favor? Could you go around the corner and scare off those raccoons for me? They've been causin' a real mess."
"Oh… Uhm… Sure thing, George," she pointed towards the other side of the house. "Trash can, I'm assuming?"
George nodded, " Thanks. Make sure you give 'em a good scare so they never come back."
"I'll do my best," she assured him, stepping towards the shadows as the elderly man retreated back into the light and safety of his home. "Hello? Raccoons? Please stop digging in George's trash can…"
She turned the corner and gasped, a large figure towering over her, silhouetted by the moonlight.
"It was me… I'm sorry. I find a lot of hot, fresh food in these cans… Stuff that will go to waste if I don't take it."
She heaved a sigh of relief as she immediately recognized the voice.
"Linus! You scared the living daylights out of me. I'm so glad it's just you, but…"
"Do you think there's something wrong with what I'm doing?" the wild man asked after the farmer failed to find the words she was searching for… Words to express her concern for him. Words to apologize that he was having to search for food by going through other's garbage.
"No," she responded gently. "It's a shame for food to go to waste."
Linus visibly relaxed, a smile crossing his face, "Thanks, Farmer. I knew you were an open-minded person. I feel good about what I'm doing. I'm not harming anyone. You can go on home. I promise I won't rummage in George's can anymore. You can tell him you scared off the raccoons for good."
"Linus, I-"
But he had already moved on, towards the saloon trash can. She started to follow him, but the saloon door flew open and she stayed back in the shadows. Gus stepped out, catching Linus red-handed. Linus immediately backed up, fear in his eyes.
"Wait. I know what you were doing, Linus," Gus came down his steps and approached the wild man, something in his hands. "If you need food… Just ask. I don't want anyone in Pelican Town to go hungry. Here. I've got a basket of zucchini fritters for you. Just make sure you dip them in my spicy marinara!"
Linus hesitated. Clearly, he was not used to such kindness. Luckily, Gus insisted.
"Go on… Take it."
"T-thank you," Linus took the food, looked around, then hurried off into the night. The farmer watched as Gus looked after him, almost certain she could see some tears in his eyes.
That was… unexpectedly sweet. I'm glad Linus has others looking out for him. As my farm grows, I'll have to be sure to help out and do the same… For everyone in town.
It was a nice reminder of what was important. She had spent most of the day worrying about herself and her problems… Even dragging Dr. Harvey and Sebastian along for the ride. Neither had seemed very happy by the end of that…
No more being selfish. From now on, I'll pull my weight and help out! You can bet on that!
Tomorrow was the Egg Festival. It would be the perfect time to put her resolve to the test.
Pelican Town wouldn't even know what hit it.
