My head was killing me. My body felt hot and cold at the same time. What the hell happened? Why did I feel like shit all of a sudden? Slowly, my memories returned. Goku walked in on my conversation with Hakkai. He had heard us talking about my illness. He had entered the room demanding that I promise something that I could not. He didn't want me to die... Then I remember sending him to bed, to get some more sleep and the next thing I know, Gojyo was demanding to know what was going on, why I had scared the monkey like that. Not believing that I really was sick, the kappa had taken some convincing. When he finally got it through his thick head that I was dying, he cursed several times and asked me why I was giving up. Then he left. They both left. I fought the pain for as long as I could. Just long enough to see Goku walk in the door. Then, after seeing my monkey one last time, I let myself fall.

And I didn't stop falling, until now. Now that I've stopped falling, I can feel the pain and weakness. But I can't feel the illness. It was gone from my body. I knew that much, what I didn't know was how. Forcing my eyes to open took me a while, but when I finally managed it, I wished I hadn't. The light that penetrated the closed curtains was bright enough to increase my headache ten-fold. Squinting, I noticed my surroundings. I was in my room at the inn. Goku was stood over me, a pale gold light shining from beneath his hands that were over my torso.

"Goku?" My voice was weak. The young man didn't seem to hear me. I tried again, this time, touching his arm. "Goku? What are you doing?" This time there was a response. Goku looked at me and smiled a ghost of a smile.

"You're gunna be ok. I told you I wouldn't let you die." He looked me in the eye. I gasped as I saw how empty they were, as if he'd lost his soul. "I'm glad I got to say good-bye." With that he collapsed on my bed.

Panicking, I yelled for help. "Hakkai! Gojyo!" I desperately looked at the door and saw a golden barrier. Had Goku created it? If so, why? The barrier dropped in a shower of sparkles. That was when Gojyo and Hakkai fell in.

"Sanzo?" I pointed at Goku.

"Help him!" A young woman walked in. She had dark red hair and eyes. "Who are you?"

"Meimai, your healer." I pointed to Goku.

"Then heal my Goku!" ... Had I really just referred to him as my Goku? No, I couldn't have... But I did. And it seemed Gojyo had noticed. Shit. Well, it didn't matter, as long as my Goku would recover. Damn it! Why did I keep doing that? Did I really consider him to be mine?

The healer sat beside Hakkai and began to help him heal the young man. Hours passed and I fell asleep. I was woken by Hakkai shaking me. He had a smile on his face. It wasn't fake like usual. This time the smile was real.

"Goku's going to be okay. He'll be tired for a while, and no doubt hungry when he wakes, but he will be ok." The healer sighed and looked me in the eyes. His smile had vanished and in its place was a deadly serious look. "I'm sorry."

Oh no. That's one thing you never want to hear from a healer. "For what? You said he'd be fine." I didn't quite manage to keep the distress from my voice.

"With time, he'll be ok. But he'll never be fine. I taught him how to heal like that, but we haven't finished our lessons. He knows how to begin the proces, but he can't stop it, or protect himself. He managed to heal you, but at a cost. His brain took some damage." Hakkai looked at the ground.

"Brain damage?" My voice was a shaky whisper.

"I'm afraid so. We can't be sure exactly what the damage will be, but we can't reverse it. I'm sorry."

And that was the first time I cried since my master died.