Edd had unloaded the parts from his car and taken them into the garage. He stood in his kitchen leaning against the counter, trying to decide what he wanted for lunch. The sky outside was growing darker as the storm he'd noticed earlier got closer. After, a few minutes of staring at the oven and willing it to produce a suitable meal, he decided he wasn't really that hungry after all. Instead, he opted for a snack of string cheese and crackers.
Edd had found that most people assumed string cheese to be for children, but he preferred it to a lot of other snack foods. As he was gathering his snack items, he heard the rain start up outside. There was an ache in his chest as he thought about Kevin again. His first instinct was to shut it out, but that's what had led to the mess he was in with his friends. When he'd thought of Kevin in the car, he'd shut it out because Terrence was there.
"But no one is here now." He whispered as he set his cheese and crackers on the counter.
Edd had been trying to shut out his feelings about Kevin since the day he took the motorcycle, but at that moment he realized that he couldn't do it anymore. In the silence of his empty childhood home, Edd broke down. He thought back to that night in the hospital. He remembered it with perfect clarity like he was watching a movie in his head instead of just replaying a memory.
After Kevin had flatlined and been brought back, Edd went in with Mr. Barr to see how the redhead was doing. At first, when Kevin saw Edd, his eyes lit up, but upon seeing the beanie-clad boy, he started crying. Edd moved quietly to his side and grabbed Kevin's hand.
"I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Kev. I shouldn't have let you go." Edd said with tears in his eyes.
Kevin had reached up with the hand that Edd wasn't holding and placed it on Edd's face. The brunette leaned into his touch. "I broke your heart, you're in the hospital after almost dying, and you're comforting me?"
Kevin shook his head. "I came back for you. There was something we left unfinished."
Mr. Barr coughed awkwardly in an attempt to remind the two boys that he was there.
Kevin smiled at his dad. "Heya pops. Look, I got myself some battle scars," Kevin said, gesturing to his abdomen.
Edd moved out of the way so Mr. Barr could see his son better. "Damn it, Kevin. You scared the hell out of me."
Kevin put a hand on his dad's arm. "Nothing to be scared of here. Promise."
"Well, you don't have the view that I do. You look like crap. So you should get some rest."
Kevin stifled a chuckle, and Edd could see that it caused him pain. Edd didn't want to leave his side, but he knew that Mr. Barr was right, Kevin needed to rest. He wasn't sure of what to say with Kevin's dad standing right there, but he knew he needed to tell Kevin that he was wrong.
"I'm gonna go get a coffee real quick. I'm gonna stay the night to keep an eye on you. Edd, will you wait here while I go to the nurse's station to find some coffee?" Mr. Barr asked.
"I- uh, yes sir. I'll wait here."
Kevin and Edd stared at each other silently as they waited for Mr. Barr to leave the room. When Edd heard the door shut, he quickly crossed the room. When he reached the redhead's bedside, he gently grabbed the other boy's face and leaned down to kiss him. The heart monitor beeped a little faster as Kevin's heart reacted to the kiss.
When Edd pulled back, he realized that they were both crying. "I was scared. I didn't mean it."
"How do I know, though? How do I know that this isn't just because you feel guilty? If you don't love me, fine. But don't just stay around because you feel sorry." Kevin wiped the tears from his face and looked away.
"Kevin, I feel guilty, yes, but I'm not just saying that I love you because of those feelings. I'm saying it because you need to know. All the fights we've been having, it was because of me. I kept picking fights because I am so in love with you and yet so inadequate. I've never felt like I was good enough for you and the more intense my feelings have become, the more terrified I've become of losing you." The words spilled out of Edd's mouth almost too fast.
"You know, you could have just talked to me. You didn't have to break up with me." Kevin said as he stared into the eyes of the boy he loved.
Edd looked away, ashamed. "I didn't know how to. But then I thought I'd never get a chance to tell you."
"Edd, you're my Double Dork, and you always will be. You never have to be afraid to tell me what's running around in that big beautiful brain of yours." Kevin whispered as he grabbed Edd's hand again.
Before either of them could say anything else, there was a timid knock at the door. Edd stood up to go open the door, but before he could reach it Mr. Barr walked in holding a cup of coffee.
Edd took that as his cue to leave. He knew that there was a strict policy about visitors and he didn't want to overstay his welcome with Mr. Barr. So he quietly walked back to his boyfriend and kissed the redhead on the top of his head.
"Please get some rest. I will see you both in the morning."
"Don't forget," Kevin told Edd as he walked towards the door.
"Never again."
That was the last time Edd spoke to Kevin. The next morning, he got a call from Kevin's dad. Edd had been trying to stuff the memory of that night into the deepest recesses of his mind since. It was too painful to think about how much of a coward he'd been. It was too painful to confront the truth of what he had done. He didn't understand how Kevin had so easily forgiven him when he had messed up so bad.
Edd could feel the tears streaming down his face. The wet, hot tears of his guilt and grief angered him. He slammed his fists on the table and roughly pushed himself away from the counter. Completely forgetting about the snack food on the counter, Edd ran from his house. He didn't care about the rain or the fact that he probably looked like a crazy person running outside during a storm. He darted down the street past Eddy's house and then even further beyond the lane and that ran between his street and the next street over. He could feel the burn in his lungs and legs as he pushed himself towards the creek.
Between the storm, Edd's own ragged breathing, and the sloshing of the water beneath his feet, Edd couldn't hear much. Edd also wasn't aware of the fact that he indeed had been seen by someone as he ran down the street.
Nazz, who had been cuddled up next to a sleeping Eddy, had watched as Double D ran by through Eddy's front yard. She had swiftly tossed the blanket off of herself and reached over to shake Eddy awake.
Eddy woke up with a start. "Geez Nazz, what's going on?"
"Eddy, it's Double D. We have to go." She said as she grabbed his arm and tried pulling him up from the couch.
Eddy didn't budge. "Why? Why should I?"
Nazz dropped his arm dramatically. "Because he is your friend and he needs you. Now! He just ran through your yard and he looked distraught, we have to go after him!"
Eddy sat there, stunned and silent. Nazz had never yelled at him like that before. He knew better to try to argue with her, though. "Which way did he go?"
"Out back, towards the lane," Nazz said, rushing towards the back door.
Eddy followed quickly behind her. "Do you have any idea where he would be going?"
As they raced out of the house, Nazz thought about it. "The creek."
Eddy didn't question her. If it had something to do with Kevin, then Nazz probably knew better. Eddy hadn't really been too keen on getting all the dish from Double D about the finer details of his relationship with Kevin. It didn't have anything to do with the fact that Kevin was a guy. It did, however, have everything to do with the fact that it was Kevin.
As Eddy and Nazz ran towards the creek, they could see the signs that someone else had already been there. There were fresh footprints in the mud, and a few handprints where it looked like someone had slipped and caught themselves. The couple was going as fast as they could, trying to catch up to Double D, but Edd had always been faster even without a head start.
When they eventually reached the creek, the pair stopped. "We should split up." Eddy huffed as he tried to catch his breath.
Nazz put her hands on her knees and shook her head. "No, just follow me, and try to stay quiet."
Eddy raised his eyebrow in confusion but didn't argue. Nazz was so confident that he rarely ever questioned her decisions. She started walking up the creek, keeping her eyes peeled. She was sure that she would recognize the spot she was looking for when she found it. Kevin had brought her there once to get her advice about something. She was sure that it probably looked different now, overgrown, but she'd recognize it just the same.
It wasn't very long before she found the spot she had been looking for. Surprising Eddy, she stopped and turned to look at him while carefully placing a finger over her lips as a reminder for him to stay quiet. Eddy nodded his head once before she led him through a thicket of vegetation. If they both hadn't already been soaked by the rain, the water from the trees and shrubs might have aggravated Eddy. A few twig snaps and thorn mishaps later, they found themselves coming out on the other side of the brush.
It was a small clearing that was hidden away for the most part. If you were looking for it while standing on land, you'd miss it, but you could probably spot it from the creek if you were to just float for a while. There at the edge of the clearing and sitting by the creek was Double D. He curled in on himself with his arms wrapped around his legs. If he heard them coming, he didn't make any movement to show it.
Nazz walked toward Edd slowly. "Double D?"
He didn't respond, so Nazz tried again. "Double D, are you okay?"
The boy in the beanie shook his head and his shoulders began to shake. Eddy stayed behind Nazz, unsure of what he should be doing. Nazz nudged him and gestured for him to go to his friend.
Eddy took a deep breath and closed the distance between them. He tried to let go of all the anger that had been building up and sat down next to his best friend. "Sockhead, this is a nice place you found."
Double D looked over to meet his friend's gaze, and Eddy could tell from the redness of his eyes that Edd had been crying. "Kevin found it actually."
Eddy nodded and put an arm around his friend. He couldn't tell if Double D was shaking from crying or if it was because he was soaked and freezing.
Nazz joined them and sat on Double D's other side. "Tell us about it." She prompted.
"Yeah D, tell us about it." Eddy encouraged.
Edd looked from one to the other before uncurling himself. "We were working on a class project about the planets. I told him that under the right conditions, we could spot a couple of the closer planets with my telescope. He asked me about the conditions and I told him. So the next evening when we went to work on the project, he told me about this place he'd found that he thought might work for some stargazing. And then he brought me here."
"He brought you here, and you spent almost a month every night coming to look at the stars together. He was fascinated by the universe, but mostly he was fascinated by you. He said that when it came to the stars no matter how insignificant a detail it might seem to someone else, it was always important to you." Nazz continued.
Both boys stared at her in surprise. "He told you?" Edd asked in a whisper.
She smiled at him. "Of course he did, Double D. I was his best friend. After he told me you two were together, he was so happy to finally be able to talk to someone about you. You were special to him, you made him happy. And I was his friend, so yeah, he told me."
Edd put his face in his hands. "I pushed him away."
"You were scared. You weren't sure of the future and he knew that. But he was sure of how he felt about you. The reason I was able to find this place so quickly is that I had been here before. He brought me here to ask my advice about something and that's when he told me that story. Edd I know you're hurting, but I also know that Kevin wouldn't want this for you." When Nazz stopped speaking, she reached over to hug Double D.
Edd leaned his head to rest on her shoulder and started crying again. Eddy didn't hesitate for a second when he saw Nazz hug the brunette. He also leaned over to hug Edd. The three of them sat there in the rain, hugging and letting Edd cry. No one was sure how long they sat there collecting rainwater in their clothes, but eventually, when Edd stopped crying, Nazz and Eddy let him go.
Silently, the three of them stood up and began the long walk back to the cul-de-sac. Eddy and Nazz stayed on either side of Double D to help keep him steady as they walked back home. It took them longer to reach the lane behind Eddy's house than it had for them to get to the creek, but they made it. Wet and shivering, Edd looked at his oldest friend and was grateful.
Even though Eddy hadn't said much, Double D knew how hard it must have been for him to come out there like that when he was angry. "Eddy, I'm so sorry. I just keep messi-"
Eddy cut him off before he could finish. "Put a sock in it, Sockhead. It's fine. You can apologize later when we aren't all standing here soaked to our bones."
Double D smiled a small and exhausted smile, but it was a smile, nonetheless. "I promise if you come by tomorrow I'll explain everything."
"Deal." Eddy agreed before patting his friend on the back. "Now get home before this storm gets any worse.
