"So, it was bad?" Willow asked.

"It was brutal." Buffy looked around at her trio of friends. They were huddled in the student lounge. Michelle had been wheeled away by the EMTs, but Sunnydale High was still in shock. "We won't be using that bathroom for a while."

"Yeah," Xander said. "We started with four prom queen candidates, and now we're down to two."

"It's a strange coincidence," Oz observed. "If you believe in that sorta thing."

"You think they'll cancel prom?" Willow asked, leaning forward. It flickered through Buffy's consciousness that Willow sat in the chair to her right while Xander and Oz shared the sofa across from her.

"I dunno. If they go ahead, they'll have to change the theme to 'Spring Carnage, but if they call it off… " Buffy made a yeesh face "... that's a lotta prom dress deposits canceled."

"Plus, the ripple effect," Oz said. "Limo rentals, hotel rooms… I hear."

"Do you think they're connected?" Xander asked. Three heads turned to stare at him. "Yeah, now that I hear it out loud, it was stupid."

"It's prom, isn't it?" Willow said. "That's the only real connection between Jen and Michelle."

"Yeah," Buffy responded, "that, and the really vicious attacks. If all you wanted to do was knock them out of contention for queen, you could, I don't know, slip Ex-Lax into their chocolate."

"Well, that took a very '80s teen comedy turn," Xander said, leaning back on the couch. A heavy silence settled over the group. The Slayer rubbed her lower lip with a thumbnail.

"What's up Buffster, or are you just modeling for a new version of 'The Thinker'?" Xander said as he stretched his arm along the back of the sofa.

"I'm having a thought," Buffy replied, "a thought I don't like."

"I have those a lot," Xander said.

"What about?" Willow asked.

Buffy sat up straighter and looked at her friends. "When I was in the hallway, Cordelia came running out of the bathroom just before I got there… and I was the first person in the hall. She ran right past me. That felt hinky anyway, but then I asked Michelle who did it, she said 'Cordelia'." The Slayer looked into three stunned faces.

A stretch of thunderstruck quiet settled over the quartet as they digested the information. Finally, Oz said, "Could Cordelia do that?"

Willow made a small noise. "She's kinda Cordelia, Warrior Princess now. Did you see her in that sleeveless top last week? Those arms are scary."

"Come on, sure, she's buffed up a little, but that's not the question… the question is could she do it?" Xander tapped his hands together. "What am I saying? Of course, she could." He looked at the Slayer. "Sorry about the pun."

Buffy snapped out of her funk. "What?"

"You know, 'buffed up'. It was lame."

Buffy shook her head, her eyes rising to the ceiling. Willow gave Xander a quick scowl and put a hand on the Slayer's knee.

"We should ask Giles about it."

"Giles isn't here again today. I know this because he called my house this morning to tell me." Buffy took a deep breath and blew it out. "I thought not knowing where he was was bad. This is way worse."

"Well, what do we do? Go to his house?"

Buffy sat bolt upright. "What? No. God, no."" She bowed her head for a moment. "If there was some way we could talk to Jen, find out if she recognized her attacker."

"Oh, we can do that," Willow said. "She's still in the hospital."

"So, we just show up? 'Hey, Jen, care to share your trauma with us'?"

Willow grinned. "Meet me after school. We'll go see her."


Buffy stood on the sidewalk in front of the hospital and brushed at the front of her blouse. The afternoon sun slanted across her face, an unwelcome reminder of Sunnydale's life after dark.

"Hey."

The Slayer turned to see Willow bopping along the sidewalk, a bunch of flowers in her arms. Buffy held out a hand, palm up.

"That's your plan? Flowers?"

Willow hoisted the blossoms up in her arms. "More foolproof than casting a glamor, a lot less magic-intensive, and it allows interaction with other humans. Trust me. This works."

And it did. Willow asked for Jen's room number at the front desk, making sure to keep the flowers in view. The volunteer helpfully sent them to the fourth floor, where they stepped off the elevator and strode to the nurses' station, Willow in the lead.

"Can I help you?" A tired-looking nurse with a pen behind her ear looked up from her terminal.

Willow held up the flowers. "These are for Jen Richmond. The Sunnydale High School Young Business Club."

"Uh-huh," the nurse said. "Do you want to leave them here?"

"Uhhhhh…" Willow put on a face full of regret, shame, and embarrassment. "We were kind of hoping to deliver them ourselves. We should have brought them over last week, but it kind of got away from us." She bit her lip and changed her expression to hopeful supplication.

The nurse sighed and shook her head. "Well, it's very nice of you. Tell you what, there's no firm restrictions on visitors, and I know that nobody's been in there during my shift, so she might like to see you. Just be aware, between the pain meds and her concussion, she's a little foggy… Oh, and she has a CT scan in about a half-hour, so don't be in there too long."

"No, ma'am," Willow said. "We just wanna say 'hi' and go." She nodded her thanks and headed down the hall.

Buffy hurried to catch up. "Remind me never to play poker with you. That was some of the most stone-cold lying I've ever seen."

"Thanks," Willow said. "A big part of hacking is social engineering, but I'm sweating bullets. If she'd said 'no', I think I'd've dropped these and run away."

There was a small placard on the wall beside the door. 'Richmond' had been written on a slip of paper and shoved into the appropriate slot. Buffy and Willow exchanged looks, then went in.

It was a private room. Jen lay on the bed, her face turned toward the window. One leg, encased in a thick cast from foot to hip, was suspended from a frame over the bed. She looked very thin, pale, and small. There was no reaction as the girls entered the room.

Buffy leaned toward Willow. "I think she's asleep."

"No, I'm not." The head on the pillow turned and the Slayer winced. Jen's face was pale and drawn; her eyes rested inside deep-purple circles. With great effort, she focused her gaze on the visitors. "I… I know you from school… kind of." Her voice was a little slow and a little sluggish.

"Here," Willow said, "we brought you some flowers." She held up the aforementioned objects.

"Oh, thank you. That's nice." Jen blinked. It took her eyes a beat to focus each time the lids opened.

"I thought you might need this." Buffy and Willow nearly jumped out of their skins. The nurse stood in the doorway, a plastic vase in one hand.

"Um, uh, thank you, thank you so much." Willow swallowed. "I'll just, uh, take that and… put these in some water."

"There you go," the nurse said. "Remember, don't stay too long." Buffy nodded. The nurse smiled, winked, and left. The Slayer heard water running in the bathroom. She glanced over her shoulder, then stepped closer to the bed.

"Jen, I'm really sorry about all of this," Buffy said as she pulled a visitor's chair up next to the bed.

Jen winced in both present and remembered pain. "They tell me it was bad."

Buffy nodded. "What happened?" She kept her voice as soft and neutral as possible.

Jen looked up toward the ceiling. "I heard something, a noise… I opened the door… she came at me…" Her eyes slid toward the Slayer. "I don't remember anything after that. I guess... I fell over the railing?"

"Yeah." Buffy leaned toward the injured girl. "Jen, can you remember anything about… her?"

Jen took several slow breaths before speaking. "She had long, dark hair… and she was so fast." She shook her head.

Buffy swallowed. "Jen, could it… could it have been Cordelia Chase?"

Jen's breath caught and her eyes locked onto the Slayer's. "Yeah. Yeah." A tear welled up in one eye and spilled down her cheek.

"Here," Willow placed the flowers on the stand beside the bed. "Here are your flowers, Jen. We're really sorry about what happened, uh, and we better go… the nurse told us not to stay too long."

"Yeah." Jen blinked again, and it took her eyes longer to focus. "Because the drugs and everything." She smiled, a thin, pale crescent on her face. "Thank you, uh… guys."

"No big deal," Willow said. "We'll see you back at school soon."

"I hope so. Thanks for coming by."


"I feel like the biggest heel on the planet," Buffy said as they got off the elevator at the ground floor. "What's my encore, making kittens fight?"

"What's next?" Willow asked as they stepped onto the sidewalk. "Calling Giles?"

The Slayer shook her head. "No. He's got other stuff on his mind." She stepped away from the hospital, setting a brisk pace on the sidewalk.

Willow rushed to catch up. "What kind of stuff?"

"Watchers' stuff. It's a big deal."

Willow looked sidelong at the Slayer. "So… what do we do?"

Buffy grimaced. "I think we go to the source. Let's call Xander and Oz, then let's visit Cordelia."


The sun had set when Oz's van pulled into Matti Hollis's driveway. The Scooby Gang climbed out and paused on the concrete strip. "What's the plan?" Xander asked.

"I'm not trying to be pushy, but I think I should do the talking," Willow said.

"How do you figure?" Xander said.

"Well, it makes no sense for it to be Oz."

"True," Oz said. "It does not."

"We might as well put up a sign saying 'Weirdness ahoy'. It can't be Buffy, that'll just cause Cordelia to freak. No offense."

"None taken," Buffy said. "When you're right, you're right."

"And you… " Willow grimaced and made an 'ick' sound.

"Hey," Xander said, "that's…" He noticed the looks from the others. "Okay, that's very accurate."

"Okay, Will, you're up. Lead on." Buffy fell in behind her redheaded friend. Willow knocked on the door as the three amigos remained a step behind. Willow was lifting her hand to knock again when the door opened, framing Cordelia, wearing an oversized gray T-shirt and two-tone blue-striped shorts.

There was a moment of frozen tension, then Cordelia said, "What are you doing here, and by you, I mean all of you."

"Is Ms. Hollis here?" Willow asked.

"No, she's out doing Buffy's job." Cordelia threw a pointed look at the Slayer.

"That's okay. We need to talk to you," Willow said, scuffing her feet.

"About what?"

"It's important and, and we'd rather not stand here on the porch."

Cordelia shrugged. "Why should I care what you want?"

"Okay." Buffy ducked around Willow. Cordelia took a reflexive step back and the Slayer crossed the threshold. Willow, Oz, and Xander followed.

Cordelia crossed her arms. "At least you have to invite vampires in. Well, you're here, what's your damage?"

"We know this has been a hard year for you," Willow said, "and we're worried that maybe… it's gotten to be too much for you."

"What are you talking about?" Cordelia demanded.

"Cordy," Buffy said, "we're here for you. You don't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"We know that you think those girls are taking something that belongs to you," Willow said, wringing her hands nervously.

"Wait, wait." Cordelia held up a hand. "Are you psychos accusing me of attacking Jen and Michelle?"

"You did have means, motive, and opportunity," Xander said.

Cordelia glared at him. "Look in my eyes and tell me who I really want to kill." Xander paled and took a step back.

"Cordelia, we're just here to help," Buffy said.

"So, you've just arrived at the conclusion that I've become a sadistic murderer?"

"In fairness, only the 'murderer' part of that is new," Xander said. "What? I can't pass on a set-up like that."

"Cordelia's having a bad year, her parents died, she lost her home, her future's shot to shit, so she must have turned to violent assault as a coping mechanism?" The brunette stamped her foot. "Do you hear yourselves?"

"We're not accusing you of anything–" Willow began.

"That's exactly what you're doing," Cordelia snapped. "J. Edgar Loser over there even said 'means, motive, and opportunity'."

"We just–" Willow giggled. "'J. Edgar Loser'... that's pretty funny."

"Well, I'm so glad we're all getting our yuks in," Xander said.

Buffy held up a hand in a 'wait' gesture. "Cordelia, we just want to talk this through. I understand how it can get to be too much, and–"

Cordelia whirled and raced out of the room. The Scoobies exchanged stunned glances, then followed. A door stood open, steps leading down.

"Great. A basement." Buffy threw up her hands.

Willow grimaced. "Basements are never good news for us."

"Yeah, but those basements aren't brightly lit. See?" Oz pointed through the doorway.

"Fair point." Buffy looked around their faces. "Follow me and be careful." They crept down the steps, heads swiveling on the lookout for danger.

"Whoa," Oz said.

Cordelia stood in the middle of the concrete floor, some sort of fighting staff held waist high, her bare feet planted firmly. The Slayerettes reached the bottom of the stairs and Buffy stepped forward.

"Cordy, you need to put down the stick. This isn't making you look innocent."

"So? You came here to do a homicide intervention."

"W-Well," Willow said, "you have been working out a lot and learning how to do… this." She waved a hand to indicate the staff.

"Yes, Willow, yes, I've been working out." Cordelia breathed quick and hard. "You know why? Because I'm living with a woman who thinks exercise cures everything from PMS to back acne."

Xander held out a hand, palm up. "Plus, you've been denied your birthright to be prom queen, which could provoke some sort of diminished capacity or psychotic break."

"Oh. My. God," Cordelia yelled. "Why is it that every time I think I've climbed to the top of Mount Shame it turns out to be just another plateau?"

Buffy shuffled forward. "Cordelia, put down the stick. I don't want to hurt you–"

Cordelia's frame shook. "What would it look like if you did!"

"Give me the staff, or I'm going to take it away from you."

"Like you took everything else?" Cordelia shook her head. "Okay, if you want it, come and get it."

Buffy rolled her shoulders. "You know I'm the Slayer."

"Yes, I know that. We all know that!" The brunette's knuckles whitened. "And, yeah, you'll probably beat me, because you're Supergirl." Sweat rolled down her face. "But I'm going to make you earn it."

"Hey," Xander said to Oz, "is it weird that this is making me a little tingly?"

Oz stared at him. "Yes, very."

Xander nodded and winced. "I thought so."

"Last chance." Buffy raised her hands. Willow covered her mouth with her hands.

Cordelia hefted the staff in her hands. "Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?"

Buffy grimaced. "Tarantino? Really?" She threw a straight right hand. Cordelia got the staff up and directed it past, then thrust at the Slayer's midsection. Buffy leaped to the side, narrowly avoiding the blow. She reset and nodded. "Okay. Not bad." She jabbed with her left. Cordelia blocked at the last instant and took a step back, then whipped the staff around, low. Buffy jumped and the blow whistled under her feet. As she landed, she threw a straight right that connected with Cordelia's exposed ribs. The brunette gasped and staggered back, but brought her staff up in the nick of time to deflect a left hook to the midsection.

Willow waved her hands. "Cordelia, I just want to point out that this looks very guilty!"

Cordelia grimaced from pain and exertion. "Does it matter? You come in here, the four of you, deciding that I'm a killer? Because of what? I'm a mean girl?" She shook her head. "Doesn't exactly make you look like the Justice League, does it?"

Buffy blew a wisp of hair out of her face. "Okay, Cordy, you've got a point… we came in hot. Just chill for a minute and put down the staff."

"No," Cordelia said. "No. Do you think I've never seen a movie? You think I don't know how hostage negotiation works? 'Just come out and we'll talk about it', then you end up face-down in the street in handcuffs."

"That got very detailed and graphic," Xander whispered.

"Cordelia, last chance," Buffy said.

Cordelia shook her head. "No way. No way."

The Slayer moved forward, fists raised. Cordelia brought up the staff. Buffy launched a flurry of strikes, some of which landed, but Cordelia parried most of them, or at least avoided the worst of the damage. Buffy stepped back to regroup. Sweat ran down her arms; her hair was plastered to the back of her neck. Cordelia panted, her T-shirt dark with sweat, her arms quivering with the effort of holding the staff. Buffy raised an eyebrow; Cordelia shook her head. The Slayer stepped forward.

"Wait!" Willow's shout reverberated in the basement. "Just wait! Nobody trusts anybody right now, and we're all really tired." The combatants looked at her. "This is insane! We–"

"What in the blue-eyed hell is going on?" Five sets of eyes turned to see Matti Hollis on the stairs, leaning over the rail. "Seriously," she said, "that wasn't rhetorical. What are you doing in my basement?'

"Well, uh," Xander stammered, "see, we thought Cordelia might be… trying to kill people?" He grabbed the back of his neck.

Matti glared at the students. "Everybody, upstairs, right now, and you will sit down and you will be quiet, and you two–" she pointed at Buffy and Cordelia "-be sure to sit in opposite corners, you feel me?" She looked around. "Why are you standing there? Did I stutter? Move!"

And they did.