In a few days, Sydney will turn three months old, Olivia and Fitz couldn't be in a better place. Since sharing the heart-tugging moment in the delivery room, everything from there has built towards their future. Olivia remains a realist, and Fitz is still a huge-hearted optimist. Knowing that everything will be alright because he won't have it any other way.
Even guarded in some areas, she's managed to open up in others.
Still, the baby has slowed the progress of their intimate relationship. Olivia has taken full advantage of summer break and delved headfirst into motherhood. Which for her has been an unexpected natural ride; each day, her baby continues to grow and flaunt his skills of lifting his head, burping on his own, and crying on cue if mommy doesn't have his bottle ready when he wants it.
Bathing in the realness of it all, Olivia often questioned if she'd genuinely ever been happy. The joy she experienced because of motherhood was unlike anything she's ever felt. Hearing the gurgly laugh of her baby put a mile-long smile on her face.
XXXXX
"Awe, Olivia. He's absolutely precious." Kimberley remarked, handing the paper photo back.
"Thank you; he gets that from me."
They laugh a moment and then jump into today's meeting purposes.
"As you know, I have certain requirements for my class before I graduate. I wanted to do my community service hours here or at the clinic. My professor gave us a list of clinics and women's shelters, but I think I can make an impact here and learn from you." Olivia suggests
Kimberley does a slow nod, letting Olivia finish out her proposal. Although Olivia had her interest piqued in the first half, there were other good points as she went on. Before she'd finished the presentation, Kimberley was already on board with the idea. And honored that Olivia wanted to learn from her.
"Yes, that can be arranged. I imagine myself and your professor would have to sign off on it?"
"Yeah, but that isn't for another two months. I just wanted to see in advance…."
"Will you be in that vile woman's class next semester?"
"No, thank god. I feel like she was tormenting me on purpose. I can't prove that it was racially motivated, but some of the things she would say. I'm not completely certain her mouth was connected to her brain at all."
The older woman's shoulders begin to shake with laughter.
As the laughter fizzled out, the room quieted. Kimberley readjusted in her chair.
"How are you, Olivia? I know we've talked a little bit about motherhood before you gave birth, but how are you now. Is anything new or different? Have you learned anything about yourself?"
Olivia mulled over the questions briefly. Carefully thinking of each answer before answering, although she didn't have a solution for all of them. She had learned something about her journey. And she had some questions of her own.
"I'm happy- and I say that in the sense of this is what is new for me. For the first time in 8...almost nine years, I am happy." lodging her clasped hands between her thighs, she shrugged so lightly. "I have struggled with moving forward with Fitz because in some ways I feel like I'm moving on too quickly-"
Kimberley held out her palm, stopping Olivia. "Can I ask what is too soon...and what it means to you?"
"I just had a baby-another man's baby at that. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve Fitz," she whispers that last part.
She pressed a finger to her lip, pondering her next question, thinking she may already know the answer; however, she wanted Olivia to arrive there first.
"Olivia, I think you might be approaching your situation through the lens of society, whether that be directly from friends, mother, father. Or even television. There are all these things that society deems acceptable and unacceptable. Moving onto a better, healthy relationship isn't wrong- if everything feels right and comfortable… for you," she heavily emphasizes.
"There isn't a handbook on love. Now all you can do is what feels right. And if it doesn't, there's no harm in starting over. To my last point, there isn't a clock either, whether it's two months or two years, you do you. Get close to Fitzgerald if that's what your heart desires." Kimberley concludes. She sets her notepad down and stands, stretching for a moment, then inviting Olivia to stretch and breathe mindfully.
"Go home, Olivia, spend time with your baby. Talk to Fitzgerald. And remember, love and self-care aren't selfish; it's very beneficial, inside and out."
XXXXX
Running from swinging axes and flaming swords, the girl ducked in a cave alongside the river- WAA!
Fitz was thrown from his imagination. He looked up from the screen, ear in the air. The once blank page is riddled with thousands of words.
Olivia is in the nursery coaxing the baby to sleep with soothing words; however, tonight isn't going as smoothly.
All is quiet now.
The girl has to fight; it's all she's trained for. It would be a waste if she continued hiding from the battle. She- WAA! WAAAA!
Fitz shuts the laptop with no regard for its well-being. He won't get any more writing done tonight. He pops into the nursery, but it's empty. Around the corner, he finds Olivia and Sydney on the sofa. She's rocking tenderly, Sydney is starting to close his eyes, but as soon as Fitz speaks, he opens them, drops his pacifier, and begins wailing again.
His features soften as Liv raises her head. The exhaustion is written in her eyes. Fitz holds out his arms for the squirming tearful child. Joining her on the sofa. He removed the stuffy-footed sleeper.
"Sorry that he's loud."
"Don't worry about it, Livvie. I think the heat is making him cranky."
"I see that you have that look on your face. Like you were writing something juicy, and we disturbed that," she says.
"It's fine. I needed a break anyway," he responds unconvincingly.
"Fitz, I won't be upset if you want to go home. Taking care of a baby can be time-consuming-"
"Don't do that. I want to be here spending time with you and him."
Finally letting his heavy eyelids fall, Sydney nuzzled against Fitz's chest. They both smiled at the adorableness then Olivia took him from Fitz's arms. She deposited him into his crib and met Fitz in the living room.
"To touch on what you were saying earlier...it's not really spending time together if you're held up in my room the entire time, only coming out for food," Olivia says. "I'm proud that you're back to writing and even experimenting with a new genre. But it still feels like you're in Beverly hills."
Fitz runs his hands over his face. "I'm trying to honor your wishes and not be so involved, Olivia. I'm in this, but I also know it will take some convincing you that I'm here. Forever."
He never meant for it to sound so harsh, but it was the reality of their relationship. And he was keeping his word to her.
"Thank you. I appreciate that."
"Since we're on the topic of things that are bothering us, I think it's time for us to go out...on a real date. We've been in this strange situation-ship, and we've never just had one night out."
"Okay! When?"
"Thursday, I'll make the arrangements."
Jeff spun around in his chair, smiling like a Cheshire cat. Fitz, however, had been glued to his cell phone.
He was reading the early drafts of Fitzgerald's newest creation.
"You aren't smiling. Why is that?" Jeff pointed out, looking up from the manuscript.
"I'm working on something."
Whatever it was, it wasn't any concern of Jeff's. He had one goal in this meeting, so he refused to get sidetracked.
"Fitz, this is good. Crossing genres is just what we needed. We'll reach a new audience of teen weirdos and adult weirdos. Who still live with their mothers, but guess what they'll be running to buy...our books. This is good, Fitz, and you need to start acting like it." Jeff rounded the table and looked over Fitz's shoulder, seeing what had him preoccupied.
"I heard everything you said. Please don't talk about my readers like they aren't human. I welcome anyone who enjoys the story and understands the message."
"Just tell me what you're doing so we get back to the importance of this meeting."
"I'm trying to get a reservation at Maggiano's."
"You mean to tell me that you're a highly publicized author and you're struggling to get a reservation at a four-star restaurant. Are you serious? We have more to worry about. When will the novel be finished, what's the title, when will you be able to tour. Your year sabbatical is up; I expect you to keep your promise."
Fitz didn't look the least bit fascinated, still tapping at his screen. Jeff had a way of being annoyingly good at his job. Choosing to ignore him, Fitz kept at his mission. The older man slapped his thighs and retook his seat, picking up the phone and dialing an extension with a loud sigh. He ordered his assistant to make a reservation for Fitz and his date.
"Happy. Now let's talk about release dates and merch ideas."
Fitz nodded, thoroughly impressed. Because for as long as they've worked together, Jeff's gone above and beyond. He slipped the device in his pocket, leaned forward.
"Jeff, to be honest with you, I'm not ready to start touring just yet. Tell you what, give me another six months to finish this novel. Then we'll discuss what comes after that."
The way his face fell, one would have thought Fitz set fire to his home and killed his family pet. Jeff slammed his fist on the desk. "Are you kidding me? I gave you a year. ONE WHOLE YEAR! "Unbelievable, you pull this shit when I have them on my back-"
"Jeff, I'm lost. Why are you so angry? It's taken me more than six months to write my other books." Fitz stood from the chair. "Whatever is going on, you need to tell me."
"Nothing, I was excited. If you say you need six months, I won't push."
On the drive home, Jeff's strange behavior hadn't slipped his mind. Although Fitz was no idiot, he had decided to leave today's meeting without pressing further into the "them" who are on his agent's back. Whatever had Jeff in a twist today probably won't go away by their next meeting.
Fitz pulled off to the side of the road, something that had been burning a hole in his brain since he left the office. He jotted it down and continued on home.
When he arrived in Beverly Hills, he took up the remaining afternoon transporting himself into a world of fantasy. He's created a world many times in the past, although he's discovering a new world of writing within the realm of Sci-fi and Fantasy.
-She runs into battle, not a thought to her mind…
Her clothes felt different, and her body wasn't hers. Not the one she remembers. Yes, gaining a couple of pounds postpartum wasn't unheard of. But it was causing serious issues between her and her relationship with food. Olivia had been in the closet for an hour trying to find a dress for this evening. She refused to ruin the night by not going. Every dress and skirt just didn't fit her the way they used to.
Olivia pulled at the dress, wiggling her body. It felt like she was an imposter playing dress-up in someone else's clothes. "Ugh, this is making me crazy" Olivia flopped back on the bed. She dragged her hands over her face, wanting to drop this issue. Some clothes fit better than others but not the ones that made her feel sexy and desired.
She undressed for the fourth time since dropping Sydney off at his aunt Angela's house. The sun was already creating a golden glow in her bedroom—an indicator of time.
After wallowing a few more seconds, Olivia raised and went to the mirror. Turning sideways, ten pounds wasn't the most noticeable but experiencing how difficult it was to zip a dress, she determined that a dress or skirt wasn't an option, at least until she worked the baby weight off to her satisfaction.
No excuses. It feels right. He feels right. Don't hold back on yourself.
"Hi," her eyes twinkled under the soft glow of light.
"You look beautiful, Livvie." Fitz grinned, interlacing his fingers with hers.
After grappling with her clothes for the past two hours, Olivia decided on something simple but appropriate for the evening. White jeans, an off-the-shoulder black top, and heels to finish the look off. She carried a mini Gucci bag. And her hair was pulled up, curly tendrils framing her diamond face.
Her date didn't disappoint either.
"Where's Syd?" Fitz asked
"I dropped him off at Angela's before sunset. It's the first time we'll be apart for more than thirty minutes." Olivia said as they descended on the lift.
"Are you okay with that?"
"Yeah," she said in an unsure but confident tone. Olivia gripped his hand tighter.
"It's worth it, I promise."
A few blocks up sat a beautiful restaurant that gave off the impression of dining in an authentic Italian restaurant. They were seated right away, at a table out on the terrace. It was a warm summer night, and the stars above illuminated the plateau. Soft violins serenading them through their meal.
Either of them hardly focused on the meal. Olivia and Fitz were too enthralled with each other.
Olivia smiled at her handsome date. This felt so right, god how right this felt. Neither could contain the vast smiles, secret glances when they thought the other wasn't looking.
"This was fun, Fitz. And although I miss my baby. I'm glad we did this." Olivia smiled.
"Me too,"
Fitz paid the check. They were now heading towards Olivia's apartment. Hand in hand, occasionally bumping shoulders as laughter consumed them. When they arrived at Olivia's door, getting to the end of their night. This was usually where the guy says goodnight and maybe leans in for a kiss. But none of that happened. Olivia and Fitz hadn't dropped hands since they left the restaurant. And she couldn't let go now.
"Come inside"
"Are you sure? There's no rush, Livvie."
Olivia opened the door, her hands crawling up his arms, pulling him into a kiss. One he'd never forget. Fitz returned her kiss passionately, and when she pulled away, he gazed at her through the five-inch-space. Crashed his lips against hers, pushing his tongue in her mouth, exploring as if it were the first time. As if he was discovering the secrets of the universe through their kiss. Dizzy as their lips parted.
Olivia pulled him into the bedroom. Sheer nervousness and insecurity creeping up, causing goosebumps to break out down her arms. As friends, they were about to cross an uncrossable line. But as partners, lovers they are about to do something magical. Her primal desires and need for him didn't belie the vulnerability she felt. Fitz crossed the room, unable to stand the distance between them; he needed her like a flame needs the wind. He pressed his clothed body up against her before claiming her mouth. Kissing like a thirsty man drinking water for the first time. The mere touch of his hands left her woozy. His lips found a home in the crook of her neck, sucking until she was squirming out of his arms.
Time slowed, just their heavy breathes creating sound in the moonlit room. Olivia pushed every critique and opinion of those who weren't present out.
Fitz bowed and unbuttoned her pants, dragging his lips up her legs, delivering gentle kisses to her abdomen. As he got to his feet, he lifted the shirt over her head. Olivia's defenses went up, and she crossed her arms over her body. He respected her too much not to continue if it was something she was uncertain of.
"No, I want this, Fitz. It's just new. I've never been with anyone else."
"I won't hurt you." he opened his palm, allowing her to decide whether she trusted him. Taking his hand, she stepped out and into a world of Fitzgerald. "Lay down," he whispered, letting his lips brush hers.
She climbed into the center of the coffee color duvet. Suddenly confidence buzzed through her, and she was able to suppress her insecurity. She watched as Fitz peeled away from his clothes. His body was unbelievable; she saw him work out many times when they lived together. Still, she couldn't grasp how good he looked. She could only lick her lips approvingly. He was left in boxers that left nothing to the imagination.
"Do you have a condom?"
"We won't need that yet," Fitz responds in that low voice that sends chills all through her. The bed dipped with his weight. The salty goodness of her sweat on his tongue as he licked up her body. "Can I touch you, Livvie?" Fingers tracing the elastic band of her lavender panties. Olivia's breathing sped up, and she couldn't utter a word, so she just nodded.
The aching need had increased tenfold, and she was practically begging for his touch. He moved down her legs, sliding her panties down too. Finally touching her, gently stroking her heat. He could tell she was sensitive by the way she grabbed his arm, arching off the bed. She was so wet he could see the shine of her arousal on his fingers in the moonlight that crept in through a crack.
He stared at her flushed face and heaving chest before rubbing her clit again. He pushed his middle finger into her tight entrance. She tensed, and he kissed her soothingly, rubbing her clit with his thumb. She was moaning and bucking her hips. Grinding against his hand.
"Oh, oh. OH MY GOD, stop. I'm comingI'm coming," Olivia cried. Twisting to escape his fingers.
"Baby, are you okay?"
After the shock of her orgasm stopped coursing through her, Olivia found strength in her legs, kneeling as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She caressed his tongue with hers, "I'm better than okay. I'm happy, so happy."
Fitz smiled and unclipped her bra. He laid her back on the bed, bent his head taking one of her breasts in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the bud. Fingers tugging at his deep sandy curls, her body begging for more. Establishing himself between her thighs, he entered her slowly, sweet, stretching her beautifully. It was dizzying how wet and tight she was. He didn't move for a few seconds, letting her adjust to his girth.
She buried her face in his shoulder, moaning from her diaphragm, "You're so big. Oh my god."
"I'm gonna move."
He thrust experimentally before finding a pleasurable rhythm. Reaching her in places she never knew were there. With each swivel and snap of hips, Olivia was digging her short manicure deep into his back. His balls tighten with each thrust. A thick sheen of sweat glistened on his back, reflecting the moonlight. Breathy moans and rough groans fill the room, as well as their bodies clapping together. She trapped him between her legs, gripping his biceps, holding on as intense emotion washed over her to the point she couldn't control the tears rolling off her cheeks onto the pillow. When Fitz gazed into her wet eyes, she was hypnotized. Her vision went black, her body trembled violently, falling over the precipice of an earth-shattering orgasm. Fitz didn't relent. He kept fucking her until he found his own release. Filling the rubber.
"I'm-ugh" his body fell limp on top of her.
Both sated and panting. Olivia's vision returned. Fitz found strength in his legs. Enough to roll off of her. Their bodies, glued by sweat and bodily fluids.
"You are Gorgeous," he says.
She smiled girlishly at the man who captured her heart. Will she ever get it back? Does she ever want him to relinquish it?
XxXxX
The sun hadn't quite reached the top of the building, but it was peaking from the sides. Creating a soft orange contrast with the partially blue sky.
She'd been awake for a few minutes now, watching the grand sunrise. Chin resting on Fitzgerald's chest, his heartbeat with a thump. The most pleasant way to wake up. At some point, Fitz stirred, opening his eyes, met with Olivia's large chocolate doe eyes. Smiling lazily as she pulled her further into his embrace.
"Good morning, mister."
"Morning, Livvie"
After, there were long minutes of silence. Olivia's nimble finger drew circles on his chest. Quite a mesmerizing site, his scalped abs and muscular arms. How could she look away? She was staring at a god. She'd never acted on such raw emotion. Olivia has always been a calculated woman. What she did last night awakened her. Now she could invite Fitz into her world and not be so afraid. For once, Olivia was living in the moment. Behind her eyes was nothing but raw vulnerability. "You're aren't going to hurt me," she said matter-of-factly.
"No, Olivia. I won't" She hadn't need to look into his eyes. The compassion and confidence in his voice told her everything.
Their noses rubbed together as they kissed. For a moment, they clung to each other, sharing a soft kiss. Running his hands under the hair scarf, she must've slipped on sometime in the night.
Fitz rolls her onto her back; he starts tracing her lips with the tip of his tongue. "I want to taste you, can I?"
"Please" came out in a desperate whimper.
Fitz ripped the comforter from their bodies, Olivia was only wearing a t-shirt, and he didn't have a stitch on him. Descending down her body, he kissed her lips, then her neck getting a squeal out of her. Pushing the thin fabric over her breast, showing both brief attention. As he traveled further, he kissed just above her navel, loving the mewling he heard, kneading her thick luscious thighs.
Finally, he was home, drooling like a man staring at his dinner plate. Looping his arm around her thighs, he pulled her down, holding her in place as he went to work, devouring her. His tongue licked weak circles against her clit, and she was already bucking and begging.
Her thighs trapped his head, and she gripped his curls, crying out his name and a whole bunch of profanities. She was falling and hard.
At one point, he added his fingers to the mix, driving them in and out of her until she was coming, screaming and panting, unable to find her voice in all of the bliss.
XXXXX
Fitz was opening his eyes for the second time this morning. Total sun filling the room, sitting up, he blocked the sun out of his eyes. The bed was empty. It didn't take him long to place Olivia in the nursery. She sang softly.
He climbed out of bed and slipped on his boxers and t-shirt.
"Good morning, again," her cheeks warmed, pink. Rocking gently. Sydney was awake, looking around aimlessly. He seemed to focus his eyes when Fitz spoke, giving his attention to him.
"Morning. So that's where you went. Good morning Porkchop."
Scooping up the pudgy brown baby Fitz kissed his fat cheeks. Smiling at his Mama.
"Do you want breakfast?"
"Yeah, let's whip something up." Fitz balanced Sydney in one arm, wrapping the other around Olivia's shoulder. And pecked her temple.
They left the nursery with Sydney. Went to the kitchen and prepared a good old-fashioned family breakfast.
Her world is changing.
Author note
Thoughts and opinions are highly encouraged. In a way, it feels like three months have actually passed. LOL!
Love and light- Skye-Anne
