A/N: I am so sorry about the misspelling of Voldemort's name. It's really very embarrassing (not to mention unprofessional). Amy Lee thank you so much for letting me know (and for the helpful hint). I've gone back and corrected that particular error. If any of you notice any other errors, please point them out to me, I'd be happy to correct them. And again, sorry for that stupid mistake.

A/N 2: I need some help. I'm trying to think up a male house-elf name and I'm having trouble. If ya'll could put forth suggestions it would be great…gold stars if I use the name you choose (and who can resist gold stars). Thanks.

A/N 3: You guys keep me writing. Thanks so much to: CyberAngelOne, Sukera, Just Me (thanks, I appreciate it), MEME, WhiteWolf 3 (was it just the swearing that you thought was ooc or was there anything else? And thanks for being honest, don't ever feel bad about that. I want to know), onlimain (your understanding truly touched me, thank you so much for your kind words, it meant the world to me), goddessa39 (you should know the routine by now bg just wait and see), Amy Lee (thanks again, and thanks for the wonderful encouragement), Jay, gaul1, and Niahm O'Leary.

xoxox

England, January 2009.

The faint clicking of heels against stone was the only sound that echoed through the narrow corridor. She had been wondering around the maze-like castle for the past three hours and hadn't tired of it yet. It was her first trip to the castle in the six years she had been living on the outskirts of the forest and she was taking her time to explore every nook and cranny she could find. However this particular nook was giving her a really hard time.

It had been surprisingly easy to get into the castle. The front gates were open and there was no real guard or watch dog like she had expected. There was a moment when she wondered if the slightly intimidating looking stone griffins were going to come to life and attack, but she dismissed the thought as a flight of fancy and told herself that she had been spending way too much time around magic.

There was no question about it, as far as schools went, this was definitely one of the more interesting ones. The paintings alone could provide hours of entertainment as she had found when she goaded two of the portraits into an argument. She found it incredibly amusing when the crazy looking knight (whose name she couldn't remember for the life of her) got into a fight with a Harmony-looking princess painted into a tower. Apparently he decided that it was his quest to rescue her but the princess found it offensive that such a young painting, of only two years, would even think about doing her any type of service. And of course being the caring person that she was Buffy couldn't help but aid the poor knight in his quest for his lady love. So when she "slipped" and "accidentally" revealed the best way to climb tower walls, she was really just trying to be helpful. There was no personal gain/entertainment in it for her. And if she stayed to watch the amusing outcome of the encounter, who could blame her? It was really all very innocent.

Sir crazy-knight had been so thankful for her help he had pointed her down to what she had discovered was the mess hall. And wasn't that just all kinds of interesting. It was conveniently empty, so she took her time in examining all the room had to offer. Shockingly enough, when she moved to the table at the front of the room she found what could only be described as a tiny sized cross between a pig and elephant hiding under the table. The thing looked so strange sleeping there she decided she was better off leaving it be and moved on to the next interesting thing the room had to offer. The ceiling. However, as she knew that she would soon be going outside where she would actually see the sky she decided to cut her musings on the bright sun-shiny ceiling short and move on.

She had been surprised to find that the lower levels contained a dungeon, and then wondered why she had ever questioned its presence. It seemed like the kind of thing that Dumbledore would like just for the heck of it. However she did think that the whole thing was just a little clichéd for her tastes. Spooky shadows, low light from the torches, dank atmosphere, a few bones. She kept waiting for the wailing of tortured souls and was almost disappointed when they never came. She then promptly shook her head in disgust at herself for getting way too in the mood of the place and decided that she needed to find somewhere more cheerful.

The view from the roofs, she had discovered, was amazing. In the distance she could see smoke coming from the chimney of Hagrid's hut. The lake was beautiful, and did they know that there was a sea serpent in there? If she looked south, she could barely make out the tree line that surrounded her home. But to her, one of the best things was that she could see the quidich field, and there was a team practicing. Ravenclaw by the colors. She had watched for almost an hour before deciding it was time to move on from her seat at the edge of the roof, her legs swinging over the side. Flying had always interested her, but she never had the chance to learn. From what she understood it was a simple concept, she just needed a broom to work on it. As she had walked away she once again resolved to talk to Dumbledore about getting her a proper broom so she could learn. He would probably be thrilled.

It was as she was turning away to make her way off of the roof that she saw it. When she turned back to look at it more fully she didn't understand exactly what she was seeing. It took her a while to realize what had seen amiss about the situation. The stone making up the roof was patternless with no rhyme or reason, but the area she was looking at was different. She moved closer to get a better look and slowly traced a finger along the straight line that made up one side of the pattern.

There was a spark, a click, and without warning the ground she was standing on disappeared.

Which was how she found herself walking down what seemed to be an endless corridor with no doors or windows, and a very low ceiling. She decided to be grateful that she wasn't claustrophobic…or tall. The only light came from the torches along the walls, but they were spaced so thin that, had she been a normal human, she would have had trouble seeing.

This is hopeless.

She turned to look behind her, but in both directions the corridor seemed endless. "Alright, I've had it!" She glared at the stone walls of the castle, "You need to open up a door to Dumbledore's office, and you need to do it right now!"

Silence.

"Please?"

The grating of stone moving against stone sounded behind her. She turned to see the wall open up into a small walkway that revealed a door at its end. She couldn't help but be thrown, "You're kidding. Please was all it took?" She rolled her eyes, "Great, I'm in a castle that demands politeness."

She took a step but paused when the walls began to rumble in warning, "Thanks."

The door opened to reveal the most interesting offices she had ever seen. "Hold it missy! What are you doing here?"

The voice had come from a painting on the far wall behind the desk. The man seemed affronted that she was there and she couldn't help but smile at his dismay. "Nothing really. Just wondering around. Hey, you wouldn't happen to know whose office this is, would you?"

"You're in the headmaster's office. So you had better watch yourself."

She smiled and moved to one of the chairs, "This is Dumbledore's office?" She glanced around and took in all the exotic art, stacks of paper, crazy nick-knacks and nodded, "Yep, I could picture him here."

She flopped down in one of the comfy chairs and picked up one of the magazines on the side table. It was an old copy of the Witches Weekly. "Make the most Potent Potions" blared across the cover in bright shimmery green ink. The old witch on the cover was winking at her and waving around her wand, emitting red and blue sparks that complimented the green ink. The witch kept pointing to the title.

Buffy shrugged, she had nothing better to do while she waited for Dumbledore, might as well get some interesting reading done. She flipped the magazine open to the correct page and music began drifting from the pages. She closed it in disgust to stop the music and tossed it to the side. The last thing she needed while trying to read was elevator music paying in the background.

She sighed and looked around. Then stretched and stood. She sat back down and started fiddling with her nails. Then decided they were perfect and looked around again. She spotted a bag of lemon drops sitting on the desk and popped one in her mouth. She crossed her arms and slouched lower.

The painting across from her watched all this in amusement. She looked too old to be a student, but she had the same amount of patience as most of them, which is to say none. The next thing she would be doing, he reasoned, was twiddle her thumbs. He snorted out loud when he saw her reach her breaking point which only drew her attention back to him.

"Hey," she started, "You wouldn't happen to know when Dumbledore is getting back, would you?"

The portrait grinned, enjoying her impatience. After all, being left alone in an office all day is much less interesting than it sounds. "Sorry, was he expecting you?"

"No," she said sullenly, then she brightened, "But I do have a standing invitation for tea."

"So he's not expecting you then."

She slouched down again, "No."

"Well then your guess is as good as mine as to when he will return." The portrait proclaimed smugly. He chuckled under his breath at her frown which only caused her to glare at him.

"Hey buddy, I'd watch it if I were you. Maybe you should be a little more polite to your guests, huh."

"Why would I do that?"

"You know, just cuz you're a picture, doesn't mean nothing's gonna happen to you," she said through gritted teeth.

He smirked down at her, sure in his position on the wall, "My dear, I'll have you know that my portrait has been enchanted to remain here indefinitely. I have been in this spot to watch over the last twenty headmasters and will remain here for the next hundred."

"Hmm, is that so?" He nodded, "And you wouldn't happen to be one of those guys that can move into other people's paintings are you?"

"No," he said slowly, suddenly on his guard, "why do you ask?"

She smiled up at him, a picture of innocence, "Oh, no reason. So, can people in other paintings come here?"

"Not into my painting, no. But," he pointed out an empty frame behind her, "they can gain access to this office and the headmaster using that one."

She leaned back in the chair, crossed her legs, and looked over her steepled hands at the guy in the picture, "So you can't leave, but others can come here. Hmm, interesting."

The figure in the portrait was beginning to get a very uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. The woman looked positively deviant sitting across from him. "What's interesting," he asked nervously.

"Well, let me put it in simple terms. First, we're gonna deal with that thing called politeness and human decency. You see, I don't think the headmaster would be so thrilled that his main picture guy was being rude to his guests. And I'm sure if he wanted to he could easily remove your not so nice face from the wall."

He gulped and her smile grew wider, "And then the second thing, the one about me not being able to do anything to you." She uncrossed her legs and leaned in closer, "You see, I just spent an hour making nice with this crazy knight guy, who seems to think he owes me something for helping him out." The man in the picture's eyes widened and he gave a small gasp.

"Ah, I see you've heard of my friend the crazy knight," her smile grew absolutely malicious. "I'm thinking, to make up for his debt to me, he might come here and entertain you for a few hours-"

"No," it was a whispered plea.

"Every. Day."

"No! Please don't. You just wait here! I'll call for the headmaster! There's no need for…please just give me another chance. I promise I'll be polite."

Her wicked glee over his frantic protestations was cut short by the trilling sound coming from the window. In a burst of red light a phoenix flew through the window to perch on Buffy's shoulder. She smiled and reached up to pet the magnificent creature's head. "Hey Fawks. How you been?"

The magical bird trilled in response. "Dumbledore, I was wondering when you were going to get here," she tossed over her shoulder.

"Buffy," he was surprised. Her visit was unexpected, and that visibly threw him off balance. He made his way around her to sit behind his desk, "I was unaware you were waiting on me."

She smiled at his troubled look, "Don't worry Dumbledore, it's not the end of the world." She paused and thought it over, "Nope, definitely not. I know the end of the world. This isn't it. This doesn't even make the scale."

"Have you been waiting long?"

"Nah, I was just making small talk with not-so-annoying-anymore behind you." She looked him up and down, "You ok? You seem out of sorts." She rolled her eyes "I can't believe I just said 'out of sorts.' I've really been living here too long. I'm getting too damn proper. I need to use more slang."

He shook his head in amusement at her statement, "I was just surprised that the castle did not inform me that I had a visitor, nothing more."

"You can talk to the castle? I mean it talks back? Weird. Sure it opens a door when I ask I to, but talking back? You sure it's not just one of the voices in your head?" she grinned to show she was joking.

"Positive," he chuckled, "But I am remiss in my duties. Would you like some tea?"

"And we have a new all time record people, exactly two minutes twenty-four seconds until the offer for tea came." She shook her head and tisked at him, "I was really getting worried therefore a second. I mean, it really would have been the end of the world."

"Well we can't have that now can we? Would you like chamomile or peppermint?"

"Peppermint please."

"I should have known." He waved his wand and muttered something she couldn't catch under his breath. Within moments there was a slight popping noise and a house elf appeared with a tea tray. Buffy smiled at the creature. She found them endlessly fascinating after the head house elf had appeared at her home. It was quite an experience that had endeared her to all the house elves.

The elf gave her a huge smile and a small wave before popping back to the kitchens.

"So what brings you to the castle?"

A small smile played at the corners of her lips, "Well, I was sitting there in my nice little cottage and looked out my front window and do you know what I noticed?"

He tried not to smile as he played along, "What was that, my dear?"

"A big honkin' castle. So I said to myself, 'Self, now there is some unexplored territory. And you have several choices here. One, stay here bored outta your mind. Two, go to the forest to work off some steam, but where's the fun in that? You know where everything is. Nothing new there. Or three, check out this new place right next door.'"

"And I assume you chose number three."

"Well I'm here aren't I?"

"And how did your exploration of the castle go?"

"Oh it was very interesting. I especially liked the big guard birds at the entrance."

"I hope they did not give you any trouble."

His words made her look up at him in surprise "You're kidding right? Those aren't just statues? I mean, they looked real enough but..."

"I wonder why the castle did not inform me of your arrival," he mused out loud.

"Why the troubled look? Maybe it just likes me," she smiled at him.

"Perhaps," he paused and cocked is head to the side like someone was whispering in his ear, "Perhaps you are right."

"And what's not to like. Of course if I get any more lessons in manners from a big stone building I might go insane."

"We wouldn't want that now, would we?"

"Was that sarcasm mister?"

"Most definitely not."

"Alright then. So about the dining room…"

Tbc…