Exchanged looks in a shared elevator ride; a shoulder bump as they walked side by side to a meeting; knees touching as their chairs rolled closer, his hand discreetly resting on her thigh; a late night dinner date idea interrupted by a last minute case; the week following their interviews was rendered by meetings, short encounters and mismatched plans. The days passed by without them being able to have any quality time alone. In fact, it felt like they had no time alone at all, the longing for each other clear on their faces and gestures.
She smiled as she caught him staring one afternoon; in another moment he cleared his throat to wake her up from daydreaming in front of Louis; all the coffee he walked in and handed it to her, all the lunches she had delivered to his office; the fact that she didn't need a cab home on any of the days she left late, Ray waiting for her for however long it takes, that's the order, Ms. Paulsen; the confidence booster advices she gave him like the old times; it was all back.
They had found their rhythm. They were Harvey and Donna again, their minds and actions as synchronized as ever, and like never before. They were a perfect hand holding fit; they were long unbroken gazes as a fever heat rose on their bodies; a mutual symbiotic system feeding off each other.
No, they weren't the same. They were better.
Harvey's phone lit up with her name on the screen and he couldn't stop himself from diverging his look to it, continuing to lead the client on with just a nod. 'Just got home. Going straight to bed. Just wanted to say goodnight.' His reply was immediate. 'Nice. Make me think of you in bed. That'll make this meeting go faster.' Donna smiled to herself on the mirror as she wiped the black mascara off her eyes. It didn't matter how much, or even for how long she had toyed with the idea of them being openly flirtatious, of them wanting to be together, it still felt surreal, as if she'd wake up at any moment and it would all be gone, like fog lifting up as the morning hours passed. "We'll have time soon. Now Focus. We need his business," and her message had the opposite effect of her request. Harvey needed another drink to redirect his attention to the million dollar man in front of him.
It didn't matter how late it was when he got home, or if he knew she'd be sleeping anyway, his fingers were prompted by however many glasses he had drank, so he shot at her, 'Sooner. I need you sooner,' falling asleep as he waited for her reply.
The next day the magazines' copies were waiting on their desks as they both came in. Harvey quickly skimmed through his profile, but his interest was on the business issue laying on her desk.
"I hope this is only the first of many," he said as he walked in her office. "Can I see it?"
She smiled coyly and tossed him a copy. Donna sat reading her answers, recognizing her struggle on every word, seeing her battle to the top on the student's lines. It felt good, the recognition. She felt a little vindicated, having on paper the proof she could be an inspiration, that she could empower other women to move up, to not settle, to demand more and break the goddamn glass ceiling. It was about time more people knew she was COO. This was her climb, her supernova, no room for false modest nor doubt. 'It's just the beginning', she hoped to herself.
As on the days prior to this one, the preamble of a moment between them was suspended by Mike and Rachel bursting in her office, holding copies of their own, congratulating both on their interviews, but the brunette couldn't hold the excitement over her friend's piece.
"Don, I can't tell you how happy I am to read all of this! And your picture, you look amazing...not that you don't look amazing everyday but wow!"
"I have to agree," Harvey added. "Should have been the cover."
Donna couldn't hide her proud smile, it just wasn't as big as Harvey's.
"It's no Time magazine, guys," Donna said referencing Mike's interview.
"Oh, come on. It's from a prestigious institution just like Time is. Plus you look much better than I did," Mike chimed in.
"Thanks, guys," Donna said. "You know how much this means to me."
They watched for a second as Mike lifted the magazine to the wall as if looking for a spot where to add a soon-to-be framed article.
"I'm sorry, Harvey. Yours is great, too, I didn't mean to not mention yours," Rachel added as she realized how significant his piece also was. "I mean, what you have accomplished in your career is inspiring to any future lawyer. Or any lawyer, actually...my gosh I am...not good with my words today."
Harvey put his hands in his pockets, laughing and bowing his head in gratitude over Rachel's comment. He had to admit he didn't care for her a few years ago, but it was hard not to feel differently now.
"That means a lot coming from you, Rachel."
Mike rested his hand on Harvey's shoulder, his own way of appreciating the attitude towards his fiancée. He was very close to adding a joke about two guys gushing over their friend's women, but held on in fear of Donna and Rachel's disapproval. He wasn't sure where they stood just yet. But he had to do something to get them talking.
"We should celebrate the two of you! I mean, I'm sure Rach can agree that we need to focus on another power couple for a change," Mike said cheerfully, and Harvey couldn't help but stare at him. The kid never missed a chance. "Let's go for drinks tonight, say, 7ish? On me!"
Suddenly the idea of an impromptus double date sounded like the perfect chance to be together without the pressure of a formal date. At this point, they were so desperate for each other that they'd go mudding with Louis.
"It's a date," Donna decided instantly, and Rachel, like the good Donna disciple she was, picked up on the exchange of looks between them.
Unlike what they both hoped for, that was all the time they had for now. Mike was forced to pull Harvey for consultation on a case, leaving the two ladies alone. Rachel watched the two men walk away until they disappeared of her sight, quickly hopping on Donna's desk.
"Okay, what was that all about?" she raised her eyebrow.
"What was what?" Donna feigned to be unaware.
"That look! And again, with the tension! And the smiles! All of it!" Rachel announced all the reasons as she counted them on her fingers.
Donna faked a tearful face, bringing her hand to her chest as she forcefully trembled her voice. "Aww, you've come so far, Rach…"
The mocking tone was received with protest. "Hey, I always had a good eye for you two...even before I knew you guys were, you know...Darvey."
Donna chuckled, raising her eyebrows. "That we were what?"
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, as if you didn't know that's what the entire firm calls you…" and as she realized Donna's surprised face, she couldn't help but gloat. "Oh my God, you didn't know! How could you've not known? Aren't you Donna? I can't believe I actually knew something you didn't. The student has become the master!"
"Darvey, huh?" she repeated out loud as she came to terms with it. "Well, can't say I'm surprised he gets more letters than me and that I start the damn name. Ain't that the truth?" she laughed as Rachel followed.
"Seriously, though...where are you guys at?" Rachel insisted.
"I'm...not sure. We've had...moments. And I think we're finally on the same page. He seems...different," she confessed, hope spilling out on every word.
"I know he broke up with her. Mike told me. And I'm slightly upset you haven't said anything to me until now," Rachel pouted.
"I...I haven't had time to process anything, Rach. Plus he didn't exactly tell me they broke up…"
"He didn't tell you?" Rachel interrupted with criticism in her tone.
"Not with words. But he didn't have to use them. He simply gave me back my spare key," Donna shrugged as she leaned back on her chair, the corners of her mouth rising into a shy smile.
This time Rachel was the one bringing a hand to her heart.
"I just...I feel like I'm on a daze, Rach... waiting for him to snap out of this, for him to just back off like he always does, run back to her or deny everything," Donna confessed, taking a deep breath to hold her emotions. " This isn't the first time that I think things might change, that...that I feel this wave of possibility washing over me and then I end up sinking a little deeper every time until..."
"Donna…" Rachel tries to interfere, grabbing her friend's hand.
"I'm not drowning, Rachel. I can't. This has...I'm…" she loses her words and lets Rachel sensibility fill in for her.
"Scared," the brunette whispers. "I know. But you gotta have a little faith in your story."
The knock on the door came to wrap up the subject prematurely, the blonde partner holding the magazine.
" Hi ladies. Hope I'm not interrupting."
Rachel hopped off the desk, going towards the exit.
"You're not. I was just leaving," she said as she waved to Donna, knowing they could pick up the conversation later on at the bar. "See you later."
Donna took a minute to watch her visitor, noticing the magazine opened on her interview, Katrina's hands gripping it tightly, her stuck up ballerina posture looking even more tense.
"Katrina. What can I do for you?"
"I just read this and came to congratulate you," the junior partner stated. "It's inspiring."
Donna took it all in, quickly deciding on using the opportunity to set the record straight. She'd be meaning to for a while.
"Thank you," she pondered what to say next. " But I have to say I didn't expect you to like it so much."
"What? Why not, Donna?" Katrina asked, her high pitched voice clearly denouncing her nervous state.
"I'm gonna go straight to the point, Katrina, because I don't have time to waste," Donna said, standing up from her seat. "I know what you said to Harvey. I know that you told him that making me partner was a mistake, that it would make it too easy for others."
"I...that's not exactly what I said…" The blonde stammered.
"Don't lawyer me, Katrina. You're not the first one to try that on me," Donna added firmly. "Now I knew it was a long shot, and I don't blame you for Harvey deciding to make me COO instead, a position that I negotiated because I deserved it."
"Fine," Katrina gave in, letting her arms fall to her sides, magazine on one hand. "It doesn't mean that I don't think you deserve this article."
" Do you mean to congratulate me? Or are you doing it because I have a vote into making you senior partner now?"
"Donna, I…" Katrina whispered.
"Listen, Katrina, I remember five years ago, when you were nobody, you came to me with cookies and I helped you to succeed. I gave you my insight on Louis. I also welcomed you back and I've empowered you ever since, which is why I hope that you really mean what you said now. Because regardless of how great I think Harvey and Louis are, this firm has not only lost an incredible boss since Jessica left, it lost a woman in leadership. A mentor. A female vote on the table. And any woman in this firm should be as desperate as I am to reclaim that. And to add to it."
Katrina swallowed hard, finally holding Donna's gaze. "You're right. I didn't know that you knew about my conversation with Harvey…"
"I know everything. You should have learned that years ago," Donna throws her the last jab.
Katrina finally let out the breath she was holding, feeling completely out of her game, stripped naked with her intentions all out in the open. It was too late and too shameful to be anything but completely honest.
"I came in peace, Donna. Because of the guilt I feel for saying what I said. I should have never doubted your capabilities for this role. Or any that you aim for. So I'm sorry for that. I really am. I meant what I said about the interview. And if one day you believe me to be fit for senior partner, then I'll be honored to share the table with a woman like you."
Donna softened at the sincerity of Katrina's words, letting out a sigh signaling the end of her confrontational tone.
"Then thank you. I'm glad you like it. Because I like you. And you should know that your chances here are always better if you're on my good side," she smiled, offering Katrina the hope she needs for her future at the firm. "Now you're welcome to bring me those cookies again anytime you want."
"Yes, ma'am" Katrina joked, heading back to her office.
As the day wound down the idea of a fun couples night seemed perfect, almost as perfect as the idea of being just the two of them. For her, it felt like walking on a dream, stepping carefully into the next moment, the desire too strong to let her stand still and the fear too real to let go completely. For him, the denial status quo, while safe, was finally less than ideal. They could sense each other's resignation as the unquestionable attraction brought them closer. But this time they were letting love's justice be biased.
"Hey," the simple word announced him as he walked in her office, clock ticking minutes away from 7 pm.
"Hey," she answered with a coyness that didn't belong to her. "I'm almost ready to go."
"No rush. Mike said he's still reviewing something," Harvey eased her. "I actually wanted to talk to you while it's just the two of us."
To talk. That was the second time in a few weeks that Harvey initiated conversations about them. She was still getting used to that and while it seemed out of character, she knew there was a lot that needed to be said between them.
"I'm listening," she said with a smile.
He stood in front of her desk as she sat looking up at him.
"I think you already know what I'm about to tell you but I should say it anyway, because I don't want anything between us to be assumptions," he started, and she felt his tone was serious, yet hopeful. "We work with facts, and you deserve straight answers."
"I do," she said with a nod. " We all do."
" That day, before we were interrupted, you asked me if what I said meant what you thought it meant..."
"Yes, I remember," again a smile turning up on the corner of her mouth and the hair on her arm spiking up at the memory.
" It did, Donna," he gave it to her fair and square. "Paula and I are over. Have been since that day."
She let the silence linger, waiting on her need to answer 'good' to fade, taking the information in, focusing on her breath to slow down her heartbeat. She had to be able to speak, because she had one more question.
"And where does that leave us, Harvey?" she asked, sincerely hoping he'd be able to give her the answer she didn't have herself, that he'd know what to do now that they both wanted it, that he knew which step to take to move forward, which direction to go.
Harvey chuckled at the only answer he could think of. "That leaves us with nothing in between us but this desk."
He watched as she closed her eyes and swallowed slowly. There was something so compelling about Donna's ability to know when a moment was meaningful. She always stopped to appreciate it, to let his words in and comfort her soul, settle her doubts. He was starting to do the same. To look at her closely, to notice her in ways he'd never done before. He reached over and grabbed her hand, thumb caressing her palm.
As she opened her eyes, he immediately realized the tension rising through her spine all the way to her shoulders. The muscles on her face tightened and the smile turned into trembling lips, her nostrils flaring and dread spilling off her eyes.
It was too late to save the date.
"Didn't think 'thou shall not touch' would apply outside dark rooms," the voice came from the door. "Guess I was right."
"What the hell are you doing here?" she said, hoarse voice out as her chest rose with a hitched breath.
"It's nice to see you too...Scarlet," he added with a grin.
