Chapter 9

She woke up to a throbbing headache, startled by the annoyingly loud noise of the alarm on her phone, an unusual beginning to her day. Her alarm was a safety feature she set every night, one that she always beat it, eyes opening minutes before it rang, giving her a chance to lay in silence for a bit. It was still 6:30 AM, but a disruptive early morning like this got her brain to quickly switch from dream to dread, then immediately to the man asleep in her living room. As she began to open her bedroom door, wrapped in a silky black robe, she stopped to reconsider appearing in front of him with just a soft slippery cover. But it didn't matter because, through the creak of the door left partially open, Donna spotted the neatly folded blanket on top of the pillow, left on the arm of the couch.

It hadn't taken her long to fall asleep, exhaustion beating the anxiety of the days to come, at least for that night. Part of her didn't want to admit it, but having him right there had contributed to a sense of safety, letting her mind drift away, even if temporarily. She figured she'd slept soundly, or he had been extra quiet leaving in the morning because she didn't remember hearing anything.

There had been very few days in 13 years that Donna didn't want to show up at the office. This was reasonably one of them, but she thanked heaven for the small miracle of a lonely elevator ride, giving her time to lean against the cold metal wall and sip her coffee. The hot liquid wasn't doing much to set her spirit ready for the day and focus escaped her like the steam through the lid. It was hard not to think of her long legs covering an entire page of the The Wall Street Journal, or any shaming pun intended headline the Post would print; it was humiliating to imagine the clients she had helped close pulling out of Specter Litt, the looks she would get, the career she had fought so hard to have in danger of vanishing in a day.

Even harder was to not think of his lips on hers just a few hours ago. A moment of weakness, she kept telling herself, but it wasn't a coincidence that the only part worth reliving of yesterday involved him. He was her doom and her salvation, her beginning and her end, a strong wind and a rock for over a decade, and she felt as far in as she'd ever be out.

Walking out of the elevator onto the firm's shiny floor felt like taking steps on quicksand, her feet were heavy and her body suddenly numb. As she neared her office, the brand new glass door was already in place. To untrained eyes it looked exactly the same as the previous one, but she immediately noticed the clear spot where her name and title were once engraved, fate reminding her how fragile everything was. One minute there was a COO, now she was like clear transparent glass.

She made a mental note to thank the cleaning team for their discretion, and as she thought of how efficient Mike had been, his voice came traveling from the office next to her. She stepped over to the side, seeing Harvey, Mike and Rachel through the closed glass door, laptops and papers spread over the couch, empty coffee cups and half eaten danishes sat on the center table. They'd been there for a while, her eyes diverting to the clock handle that hadn't even reached 8am. There was no need to ask what they were working on. Suddenly it was like her soul had started to awaken.

Harvey was quick to open the door, half smile greeting her.

"We weren't expecting you to be here so early," he said, looking at her visibly emotioned eyes that blinked faster than necessary.

No words measured up to how grateful she was to see their faces, so she went with sarcasm instead.

"I hope you're not working on that sleep deprived," she said with strong furrowed brows.

"We slept enough to rest our minds and boost our confidence," Mike answered in a perfect short pick me up directed at her.

"And I hope it's ok that we started without you, we wanted you to rest a bit more," Rachel said shuffling some papers out of the way and grabbing a pastry box. "Care for one?"

Donna chose what looked like a raspberry cream mille-feuille and took a bite, hanging her bag on an empty chair. Maybe if she were busy chewing she'd manage not to cry.

None of them said a word until she swallowed, waiting for her to digest what she had just walked into.

"Ask me what you need to know," she spoke to the room.

Mike and Rachel instantly looked at Harvey in a move that seemed rehearsed, and he immediately understood they wouldn't be volunteering to begin this so called interrogation. It was the last thing he wanted to do in the moment, his body still hurt after the hours spent on the stiff couch. He had needed a few glasses of cold water after she walked to her bedroom the night before, and a lot of self control to not kick her door open and kiss her again. One broken door was enough for a lifetime.

The blanket smelled like her, little by little the scent had helped him relax until he eventually fell asleep. But It felt like he closed his eyes for only a minute, waking up at dawn and heading home, not a damn second to waste. This was keeping him from having her and not even fate could stop him from having it all.

"Harvey?" he heard Mike call and took a deep breath. He owed her a professional approach, at least right now, to make it up for the previous night.

"You said that was during college. Correct to assume you were not a minor?" He tested the water. Start easily, no harm no foul.

"I was not," she kept her answer simple.

"Were you 21? Was there alcohol served?" He continued along the edges.

"It's a strip club, of course there was alcohol. But we weren't allowed any. None of us...minors," she added coldly and Harvey had to blink images away.

"Not being allowed is one thing, not actually drinking is another," his lawyer mind was there to prioritize objectiveness.

"I was 19, but I did not drink, Harvey. I know where you want to go with this, but we wouldn't be able to prove it even if I did," she wasn't a lawyer, but she knew lawyers so well she could see the paths forming in their minds.

"Did the, uh, clients do anything illegal? Any drugs?" Rachel took upon herself to move along Harvey's train of thought, noticing the friction between them.

"How would we ever prove that?" She insisted on the absurdity of their questions.

"Why don't you leave the lawyering to the actual lawyers, Donna?" Harvey intervened. She picked up the slight tone of irritation and shot him a reprimanding look, forcing him to pause for a coffee sip, his eyes darting back to the paperwork.

"She's not wrong, guys. It wouldn't be easy to put any evidence together, unless…" Mike continued for his friend, "I'm assuming you worked with others?"

"Yes, there were a few girls," Donna sighed after her answer.

"Are you still in touch with anyone from that time? Could we ask them questions?!" It was again Rachel's turn to try, but all it did was to spark the rising frustration on her friend.

"Why is that the direction this is going?" Donna finally asked, slightly raising her voice.

"What direction? You mean why we're going criminal?" Mike questioned her.

"Yes, Mike, why are those the first questions the three of you have for me?" She questioned them, eyes moving between the three, settling on Harvey's like a roulette that picks a number.

He stared at her, hesitating, knowing what he would say would make her fear even more.

"He's clean, Donna. No taxes or contract frauds, nothing," Harvey said softly. "So far, he's clean."

She slowly sat on one of the chairs, letting the reality sink in. Her thoughts drifted to decades ago when she first stepped on stage, practicing moves with the girl that brought her in. The mid-afternoon low light broke through the darkroom windows, making the dust visible in the air. The specks seemed to move in slow motion, in their own dance, and lots of different voices echoed between the walls making it hard for her to focus on her friend's words. No clients were in yet, the first days were for learning, observing, and being observed by him.

"We can't waste time, Donna. If there is anything you remember, you need to tell us," Harvey's statement brought her back to the office. He tried his best to sound calm and centered, but she easily picked up on the hidden plea.

"I'll try to think of something," she said, even though she knew there was no need.

As they hit a wall, Rachel collected the papers she had been reading, handing them to Mike. "Here, why don't you read through these again, maybe I missed something. And we could give everything to a financial expert…" she struggled to suggest, but time was of essence.

"You don't mean Louis?" Donna turned her eyes to stare at her. Rachel shrugged, giving her friend a half appealing look. "He is the best one we know," she attempted to reason.

"No. Absolutely not," Donna gave it no chance.

"Donna, Rachel has a point. He's going to have to know about all of this, it's his name on the wall. Plus it'd be worse if he sees…"

"If he sees my pictures on every paper?" Donna finished Mike's words for him, realization of what could happen once again filling her with dread. "We're losing this, aren't we?"

"No one is losing anything," Harvey stopped their interaction, voice carrying power that dominated the room. He stared Mike down in full threatening eagle eyes watching a prey that can't run nor hide. "You two please go ahead and read these papers again and again and find me a goddamn comma I can use to stall until I think of something," he ordered, dismissing Mike and Rachel, taking the role of the hero she never wanted but so desperately needed for years.

"You ok?" he said as they were left alone, sitting back on his chair.

Donna smiled shyly and looked him in the eye, nodding slowly.

"I hope the couch wasn't so bad," she added, still able to draw sweetness in a terrible day and desperately wanting to change the subject.

I would have preferred the bed, he wanted to say it, but the words stopped on the tip of his tongue. He'd wait for a better moment, settling for a shrug that let her interpret it the way she wanted it. She held his gaze for another second or two, but the change in mood got her to close her eyes tightly.

"Whatever we find, it is going to work, right?" it was more of a faltering request than anything.

"It is," he assured her to the best of his ability. "But for that to happen, I need you to hold down the fort here, I might be a while."

"Where are you going?" she asked, one eyebrow arched, trusting him just enough.

"To see Cahill," he said, "I need him to work with me on this deal and I need it now because that way…" he purposely stopped his sentence and reached for her hand, standing up and making her stand and round the corner of the table towards him, "...we can pick up where we left off."

She shook her head, but he noticed another smile creeping on her lips.

"Harvey…"

" I want to see the end of this sooner than later, Donna," he said, not giving her too much time for a refutation. "You can't lose faith in me."

He could smell her perfume, the same one from the blanket and the memory of the night before was just too strong to not make itself real again. He slowly went in, eyes on her nude color lips, and right before he reached them, Donna slightly turned her chin to the right, offering the side of her face instead. With the tip of his nose resting on her cheek, a sigh of frustration left him as she chuckled at his misery. In a swift move, Harvey slid the tip on his nose across her cheek bones and gently pressed his lips to her earlobe, her scent invading his nostrils as she closed her eyes and shuddered.

"Never," she whispered right as he walked away, inspired and determined.

Back in Rachel's office, the other two finally sat to look at the files again.

"You know what's intriguing? Mike asked.

"What?"

"The fact that this guy had photos of someone that worked for him for a couple of months about 20 years ago?" he answered without wanting to alarm her.

"Well, Donna is strikingly beautiful, but it's almost as if…" Rachel was the one using caution now, but Mike knew she was catching on to his suspicions.

" … as if he knew he might need them one day. Otherwise, how did he know to keep those pictures, Rach? Are you with me?"

" It can't be a coincidence," she was, quickly following her fiance's mind.

"So he kept something like that…" Mike added, snapping the file folder closed.

"...because she could have something on him! Mike, that's gotta be it!" she said, eyes wide in excitement and curiosity.

"But why now?" he asked, puzzled. "It doesn't make sense to wait so long."

"Because now she has a lot to lose," Rachel explained. "That's not the most pressing question, though."

Mike raised his eyebrows to Rachel, knowing the real answer they needed was a full disclosure of whatever happened two decades ago.