/.Chapter Four.\

The race had been long and grueling, it was the qualifieds for the County Nationals, the first twelve to cross the finish line would go to the County Nationals, and have a chance to win the cup. I knew it didn't matter if I came in first or seventh, as long as I made it to the Nationals, but if I came in first, then i could be considered a favorite to win, and that would make my Dad proud of me.I could already picture his beaming grin as I walked off the track, walking my bike the truck. That's all I wanted, to make my Dad proud. We were going into the far turn now, the crowd had gone from it's normal volume to a dull roar, growing louder as we approached the finish, it was the last lap, and Cody, Jake Salem, and I were in the lead, fighting to get ahead. I was stuck inbetween them, the worst position to be in a turn, one of us would need to pull back or pull ahead, or at least one of would crash. I wasn't going to be the one to pull back though, not yet. Cody glanced at me nervously and yelled something, I couldn't hear him over the cheering crowd and the snarling engines though.

I was pressing him too closely into the side, he wouldn't be able to pull back quick enough if he had too. I revved the bike, slowly beginning to get ahead, I was inching past Jake now, I was going to win, I had a chance! The far turn was nearly upon us though, I was going much too fast if I was going to make it. There was no time though, suddenly Cody and I were in the far turn, I was nearly running him off of the track, my mind became suddenly frantic and I tried to slow down. It had been a big mistake though, because Jake had followed me, keeping up with the same speed.

It had been raining earlier that day, and track was dangerously slick with mud, I suddenly felt a rouch push as Jake back tire rammed into the side of my bike, which caused me to ram into Cody's side even harder. He was pushed off of the track, the bike toppling over the turn, Cody was going to be crushed under it, I leaned to the side and tried to grab his shirt to pull him away, but he already too far out of my reach.

My bike swerved slightly to the side from Jake's push, but regained it's balance, when I had reached out to gran Cody, my other hand had pushed the acceleration too hard. The engine snarled and I was going up the small hill that ended the turn, and then I was flying over it. No, I was falling over it, the bike had soared over the hill, and was now making it's descent from the high jump, like I was going over a ramp and was expecting a smooth landing. This landing, though, would be anything but smooth.

The ground rushed to meet me, but the fall felt like forever and a day, I was going to land on my side, I would break my leg for sure. I could hear the crowd gasp and scream, the horrified screams from the crowd filled my mind, soon the siren of an ambulance followed. Then I gripped the handlebars and closed my eyes, bracing for impact.

When I woke up I was already sitting bolt upright in bed, my breathing was shallow and quick. I blinked and looked around the room, the darkness was complete, almost comforting. I sighed a little, trying to calm my breathing, and pushed the covers away from me, then I turned and placed my feet on the cool floor. I shivered slightly and crossed my arms, the morning air was freezing. I glanced at the digital clock, it was half past five, time to get up. I stood and walked voer to the mirror, my face was covered in cold sweat, and my eyes were red..I had been crying in my sleep. I ran my hand along my face and frowned a little.

"Just a dream, nothing more," I murmured, trying to calm myself down. My voice sounded alien in the calm silence.Although I had gone to bed at eight-thirty I didn't feel at all rested and ready to face the day. I had had the nightmares about the race before, it always had the same ending too, but I hadn't dared tell anyone, not even Christina. I thought about Cody and a lump formed in my throat.

Suddenly there was a gentle knock on the door and I could see Amy's face in the mirror, she was wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans.

"Hey,"She said with a smile, but I watched it fade a little,"Are you okay?"

I turned away from the mirror so she couldn't see my face, I glanced at her over my shoulder warily,"Uhm, yeah, sure, I'll be down in a minute."

"Well, okay.."Amy said, but I could tell by her voice that she didn't fully believe me,"Just make sure you dress warmly, it's pretty cold out there."

I began to open one of my drawers, grabbing a shirt and a gray sweatshirt, along with a pair of jeans. I could feel her gaze on m back, as though trying to look through me, then I heard her footsteps echo down the hall. The memories of yesterday came back to me quickly as I dressed and brushed my dirty-blonde hair, and I began to think about the horses and the day ahead, but the nightmare still hung in the back of my mind like a daunting spector.

As I nearly ran down the stairs I made a not to be a bit more open with Amy, no, I wasn't going to tell her about my nightmare, or Cody or anything, but I understood she was only trying to help.

When I walked into the kitchen Amy was already putting her boots on, she nodded to another pair by the door.

"I found those in the closet yesterday, they should fit you,"She told me.

I replied with a smile and put the boots on, then stood up. They were a little big, but I could grow into them, otherwise they were perfect.

"Thanks,"I told Amy.

"No problem,"She smiled, then walked over and opened the door, I followed her silently into the cool November morning.

I walked onto the porch and paused for a moment, closing the door behind me. My gaze went from the quiet, almost silent stable yard, to the sky. When I had first woken up it had been pitch black, but now twilight was just beginning to break on the horizon, turning the deep indigo sky a light gray at the edges, becoming more lighter in shade every passing moment. Soon, gold sunshine would break through the gray, giving the world it's color once again. It was really pretty to look at, with the peaceful stable and all.

I took a deep breath, watching as it came out in a visble puff of air, it was going to be a rough Winter this year, it had been all over the weather lately.

"Jess,"Amy was standing near the barn, looking at me.

I could feel a slight blush begin to creep up into my face,"Sorry!"I called, then jumped the porch steps, running over to meet her.

"How are you holding up?"

I paused slightly in spreading the straw evenly on the stall floor to make a nice, deep bed. I moved my bangs out of my eyes with the back of my hand, looking over my shoulder.

Ty was standing in the aisle, holding the handles of a full wheelbarrow, he looked at me and offered me a smile.

"You're doing great for your first time."He said, looking over the stall himself,"When you're done would you mind grooming AJ and Blackie? They're in the first two stalls on the left."

"Sure, no problem,"I told him, I didn't mind the work that much, actually -okay, I'll admit it- it was actually kind of nice being around the horses.

"Thanks,"Ty said, then continued down the barn aisle.

I turned and finished up spreading the straw, then I leaned the pitchfork against the wall, scrutininzing my handy-work. Then I grabbed the pitchfork, along with the buckets and walked down the hall, stopping at the feed room to put the pitchfork away. I walked out of the barn doors and into the morning sunlight, stopping at the water tap. I turned the water on and began to scrub the buckets, the sunlight warming my back a little as I worked. I couldn't believe it was almost nine o'clock, the morning had passed by in a blur.

Ty and Byron had already done most of the feeds by the time Amy and I had gotten to the barn, so I helped her fill the haynets, and afterwards she gave me a quick tour of the barns, showing me where the tack room was and where the paddock assignments were. She explained the feeding chart to me, and then she taught me how to muck a stall, helping me with the first one. Then I had done two more stalls by myself, at some point during all the hustle and bustle Byron had left for school, leaving just Amy, Ty and I.

By now, the pasture assignments were shifting, and the horses were being brought in to be groomed. I rinsed out the both the buckets, then brought them back to the stall. Afterwards I grabbed a grooming kit and headed off to AJ's stall.

I walked voer to the stall warily, watching as the Cyldesdale gelding stuck his noble head over the half door and his nares flared softly. His ears were pricked forward wit interest, and there was an inquisitive glint in his dark eyes as he reached out farther.

I stepped forward and let him sniff my hand, feeling his whiskers tickle my palm. I smiled a little as he pushed his nose against my palm.

"Okay, okay, I'll give you some attention,"I murmured softly, stroking his muzzle," But don't get used to it."

AJ snorted softly, shaking his black mane.

"Very funny," I commented as I slipped into his stall and stroked his neck, then I took out the curry comb and ran it along his back and side, and then over his hindquarters.

AJ was a giant compared to me, standing at a full seventeen hands, whilst I'm only five foot four, people keep telling me that coffe stunts your growth, but I wouldn't give up coffee for anything. Soon I moved onto the soft brush, going over his neck, back and legs until his chestnut coat glistened slightly in the light that streamed from the window in the back of the stall. AJ let out a soft sigh in enjoyment and swished his tail slightly, loving the attention.

I looked at the gentle giant and couldn't help but smile a little myself.

After I finished grooming Blackie I walked back to the tack room to return the grooming kit, walking calmly down the barn aisle. I paused slightly though, seeing someone standing in one of the stalls. I walked closer to the half door and looked in; Amy was standing next to a gray mare, moving her fingers in small circles over the mare's back and neck.

The mare was standing quietly, her head lowered slightly and her ears drooping, her eye-lids were slightly closed, peacefully dozing off. Amy seemed to be relaxed as well, and completely absorbed in her work, she didn't even realize that I was watching. I decided to leave her alone, I began to walk away but then I heard Amy's voice.

"Is something up?"She asked, looking at me, she had stopped moving her fingers, but her hands were still resting on the mare's back.

I stopped and then stepped back,"Oh, no, everything's fine. I was just wondering what you were doing."

I expected her to simply reply, 'Oh, alright,' and continue with her work, like others had done when I was around, but instead she did quite the opposite.

Amy motioned to come in,"Come here, and I'll show you."

I paused, but then put the grooming kit down and slipped into the stall, the mare glanced at me warily, but otherwise didn't move. Amy looked at me and then began to move her fingers in circles over the mare again, moving along slowly.

"This," She explained,"Is T-touch, it relaxes the horses and it also helps build thier trust."Then she took my hand, pressing index and middle finger near the mare's whithers.

"You just move your fingers in small circles slowly over the horse's neck, back, and ears. It's a bit like a massage," Amy continued.

I frowned a little, watching Amy, then I moved my fingers in the same motion as hers. The both of us simply stood in silence for a while, concentrating on our work, I became so absorbed in moving my figners that soon I didn't even notice that Amy had moved away.

The mare sighed slightly and swished her tail gently, I could feel her muscles relax a bit more, and I smiled once again.

"Good job,"Amy said,"Just try moving your fingers a bit slower."

I did as Amy said, and I simply practiced for a few moments more, but then I became still as I heard the engine of a truck and the clink of a trailer pulling down the drive.

Amy looked at me,"That must be Tex, let's go."

I slipped out of the stall with her and we walked out of the barn into the early afternoon sunshine, watching as a large blue pick-up parked near the barn, a silver trailer attached to the back.

A man in his thirties got out of the truck, stepping lightly in clean horseboots on the dirt drive, he looked at Amy and smiled,"There's the miracle worker!"

"Hello, Nick,"Amy replied with the same smile, they briefly shook hands, then amy looked at me and smiled again.

"Jess, this is Nick Halliwell, we've been working with his horses for years."

Nick Halliwell! I'd heard of him when I was younger, he was practically a show-jumping legend.

"It's nice to meet you,"I said.

"The pleasure is all mine,"He replied.

A loud whinny and the sound of clashing hooves broke up the firnedly meeting, though.

"I'm guessing the trip wasn't very quiet,"Amy said distractedly, watching the trailer.

Nick smiled sadly and shook his head,"No, it wasn't. He's been jumping around in there for most of the ride here. He's a bit of a fiesty horse, if you get my drift. I checked out his last owners and they didn't seem at all abusive, they own a local riding stable."

"Hmm, well, let's just concentrate on getting him in his stall first,"Then, lead rope in hand, Amy walked over to the side door of the trailer and dissapeared inside, whilst Nick and I walked to the back of the trailer and lowered the ramp.

Within a few moments a red roan gelding came trotting down the ramp, his head held high. Amy walked him down quickly, then circled him a couple of times to calm him down.

Tex snorted and tossed his head, but calmed his pace considerably.

"He's beautiful,"I commented, watching Tex.

Nick nodded,"Thanks, you should see him in action, if only we could get a saddle on him."

While Amy walked into the barn, Nick and I closed up the trailer, then followed her to Tex's stall.

The gelding went into the stall quietly and began to munch on the haynet. We all watched him silently for a few moments, then Amy slipped out of the stall and stood with us, looking at Nick.

"Is there any medical history that you think might have affected his back?"She asked.

Nick shook his head,"There's an odd bite on the inside of his leg, but I don't see how that would affect his back."

Amy frowned a little, deep in thought.

"I hate to break up our little reunion so quickly Amy, but I have to run, there's a show going on and I have to go pick up some of my students,"Nick frowned.

"Oh, no worries Nick, it was great to see you again,"Amy smiled.

"See ya,"Nick said, then turned and walked out of the barn.

We watched him leave for a few moments, then Amy took a small bottle out of her pocket and poured a couple of drops into Tex's water.

"Star Of Bethlehem,"She explained, stepping away to let Tex drink.

I could hear Nick pulling out of the drive, but I heard a car honk and another car pull up in the drive. A few moments afterwards I heard a car door slam and soon Byron walked down the abrn aisle, his black hair shining. He stopped next to me, looking in at Tex and Amy.

"Sorry to interupt..."Byron said, glancing at Amy," But I was wondering what you need help with."

"Hmm..." Amy murmured, thinking,"Well, most of the horses have been groomed...The chores are pretty much done. actually, I think we have just enough time for a trail ride, and a couple of the horses need exercise. I'd like to go, but Ty needs someone here to hold down the fort, maybe you could show Jess the trails."

Byron shrugged his shoulders and said, still smiling,"Sounds good to me."

I cut in smoothly though, not even thinking,"Uhm, thanks, but I think I'll pass."

Amy turned to look at me,"Oh come on, you should go. The weather won't be this nice for much longer."

"Don't worry, I don't bite,"Byron joked.

"No, I just don't think I should.."I said, trying to talk myself out of this, I looked at Amy,"You two can go ahead, I haven't ridden in a while, and I could finish up grooming the horses. I don't mind staying here."

Amy looked like she might try to prompt me more, but she tried to smile slightly,"Well..alright, if you're sure.."

"I'm sure,"I nodded.

Byron's deep brown gaze traveled from me to Amy, he kept his voice light,"Alright, well I'll go get Tiara and Lido from the pasture." Then he left without another word.

Amy watched me for a few moments, as though debating whether to try to convince me or not,"Okay, we should be back within an hour. Ty is in the arena working with AJ."

I gave her a reassuring smile as she walked out of the stall, then, wanting to dissapear as quickly as I could, I picked up the grooming kit I had left out and headed off to the tack room.

I just wasn't ready to go riding, it was too soon. They couldn't expect me to just spend one day here and start riding again. I knew Amy was only trying to help, but I had to draw the line. After Amy and Byron left, I groomed the gray mare, Daisy, and another horse, Apache. When I was finished I helped Ty bring in a few horses from the pasture, then there wasn't much left to do, so I went into the tack room and started cleaning the saddles.

Soon Amy walked in, taking a large book off of one of the shelves, she looked through the pages, pausing a few moments to read. I was quiet for a while, simply cleaning the saddle, and I couldn't help but feel bad, I hadn't meant to snub Amy or anything.

"What are you doing?"I asked.

Amy glanced at me,"Oh, just looking for a couple of herbal rememdies that might help Tex."

I sighed then began to apalogize,"I'm sorry about the whole trail-ride thing earlier, I didn't mean to snub you or anything, I just don't think I'm ready to go riding yet."

She looked up from her book and smiled a little, her eyes holding understanding,"It's okay Jess, I understand. I know that things have been rough for you lately, with your brother and then your mom."

I stayed quiet, feeling a little uncomfortable. The memories of the nightmare that had been dormant for the whole day began to creep into my thoughts.

Amy continued,"I just want you to feel at home, I know what it's like to lose someone. So, if you ever need to talk, I'll listen."

I felt a small smile form on my features,"Thanks, Amy."

She shrugged, grinning a little,"What are friends for?"

And for the first time in a long time, I felt like someone might actually want to listen to what I had to say.