Hi ya'll…
No, you're not dreaming, this is real life, and this is an update. Figured I would update this for those who still care (mainly me and my pride). My way of making 2020 suck a little bit less...I hope it works.
I'm sorry it took so so long. I was busy being pregnant and having a baby in a pandemic. :) For real.
Roll the dice
She chose a petroleum blue dress, tight sleeves down to her elbows and black Prada stilettos completing the classic chic look. Her hair was done on a wrap around ponytail, the ends of it falling right in the middle of the V opening on the back of her dress. She looked like a modern porcelain doll, impeccable on a superficial glance. Peel a few layers and her anxiety burned her chest, getting harder to handle by the hour. Deep breaths, a bath, some essential oil on her wrist, nothing too effective against the speed her mind created worst case scenarios about him.
She made her way to the restaurant despite the intermittent negative thoughts.
Running high on adrenaline, Harvey finally slowed down after exiting off of route 17. It was a miracle he hadn't gotten pulled over on the local highway, but he definitely would have been after going over the bridge into the city.
He had no choice, though. If he wanted to make it to DiPietro's by 6PM, he needed to cut precious minutes of the 2 hour ride from Upstate. Mike's text message about moving up the rehearsal dinner had thrown him for a loop, but he hadn't even bothered calling him to understand what had happened, his mind on overdrive thinking about the conversation he had to have with her. His left hand occasionally left the steering wheel to press the envelope with the flashdrive that sat safely in his jacket pocket. Ideally he would just hand it to her and watch her smile, no need to say a single word, but he knew Donna wouldn't settle. She would see right through him. She would ask, she would want to know every detail, the anticipation of the look on her face distracting him from the road. He had to have done it that way, 'bastard had it coming', Harvey kept saying to himself, trying to justify the decisions he made without consulting her.
She arrived shortly before 6 pm, at the same time Robert and Laura were walking in. Then another couple, Rachel's aunt and uncle, both welcomed by her still at the door while she held a smile and slightly blushed at all the compliments for pulling off a nearly impossible dinner.
She realized then that the second floor of the restaurant, where dinner actually was, had a private door that was much more convenient for guests entrance. So she volunteered to stay outside for a few more minutes, guiding everyone to the correct location, despite Rachel doubting the need for an extra hostess. She looked down, then back at her friend, slightly turning her head, but saw herself out of words to express that she actually needed some time, an extra moment of fresh air. This was their night, their dinner, and the last thing Donna wanted was to steal the attention in any way.
Rachel's intuition kicked in to replace Donna's possible guilt with a gentle smile. The understanding between them went beyond the verbal cues, life's toughness of the past few days powering a deep rooted sisterhood. She gave Donna's hand a quick tight squeeze.
"I'll see you inside whenever you're ready," the bride said, walking in.
And she would be ready soon. Really. Just not now.
In all honesty, she guided people inside but her eyes were mostly on the road, noticing the parking spots fill up with unknown cars. It didn't matter that he was in a car club, Harvey Specter could always be spotted, and if given three guesses she could probably name exactly which car he would choose to show up to this.
Once again she checked her phone, hesitant to call. His phone made phone calls too, and she had done her part trying to contact him earlier. As engrained in her heart as the need to call him was sister Margaret's voice from her middle school years, saying It was pride that changed Angels into Devils, dear, but the Lord should see pride was the only power holding her still in place.
Everyone was inside about 15 minutes after six, and Donna gave the block one last look as she swallowed the dry winter air, closing the door to the street.
Upstairs, Rachel watched her come up, alone, hand firmly grabbing onto the railing. Donna shook her head slightly, a forced smile that confirmed his absence and Rachel's eyes immediately moved to look at Mike, who repeated the gesture as he denied Harvey making any contact.
A waiter walked by holding a bottle of red that felt like a lifeline as she gently held his arm,stopping him from moving away, until Rachel approached with an empty glass. Before the future bride could express any sympathy, like Donna knew she would, Robert loudly announced her presence prior to her even making her way fully into the room.
"Everybody, I am very thankful you all could make it in such short notice, but that's the woman we all have to thank for making this happen, and especially me, since my trip is to blame," he stopped as a few people cheered. "Donna...you are formidable, my dear, and Laura and I will be forever thankful for this last minute miracle," he slightly bowed, raising his glass. "Clearly my daughter has chosen her friends very well, having the best maid of honor, though unfortunately it doesn't seem like the best man could…"
He was abruptly cut off by a loud voice coming from the first floor.
"I'm here," Harvey yelled, climbing the stairs two steps at a time. "I made it," he added, panting slightly, but a smile crept upon him immediately after she turned around. All the other people in that room were nothing but a blur. They were light brushstrokes in a painting, and all he saw was Donna standing still, perfectly placed in the middle and completely in focus. He noticed her lips discreetly part, realizing that her breath had halted.
She looked beautiful, really, he couldn't remember a time she looked so perfect.
One foot in front of the other, he began to make his way to her, making a valiant effort to acknowledge others around them. Rounding the center table, he eventually directed his attention to Mike and Rachel.
"Way to make an entrance," Mike said, extending his hand to greet his Best Man, and Harvey was once thankful for his friend's sense of humour. He leaned over Rachel and kissed her cheek, showing an apologetic smile to the bride.
"Evening, everyone. I'm so sorry for being late," he then addressed the small crowd as he finally stood by her side. His fingers brushed slightly against hers and Harvey could feel how cold she was, thinking for a moment if she had recovered her breath at all. "Rachel, I can promise you that I won't overshadow you at the wedding, you'll be the only one getting all the attention."
The room erupted in a sweet laughter as he continued to shake Robert and Laura's hand.
"As Robert was saying, I am so happy to finally be here tonight," he went on talking to a few more loud chuckles, "to gladly begin the celebration of Mike and Rachel's wedding!" Raising an imaginary champagne glass and turning his face to hers amid the cheers, Harvey felt the need to also reinforce what Robert had begun, "So here's, firstly, to Donna, who carries an 'of honor' title during these celebrations but does it, truly, everyday…"
"Hear, hear!" Rachel briefly interrupted, tilting her glass to her friend, and they watched Donna look down with a shy smile.
"And to the future bride and groom… my dear friends, I don't believe your love needs any rehearsal. It's clear, it's meant to be and it's inspiring on any Friday, any weekend or any day. Nonetheless, may tonight be only a sweet preview of all the happiness to come!"
No one, not a single person she knew would manage to arrive late, steal the attention from the father of the bride and still charm everyone in about two minutes, she thought. Donna had to bite her inner cheeks to stop herself from smiling, focusing on the list of reasons why she should still be angry.
They made their way to the main table and Harvey waited for her to sit, taking the chair next to her.
It was when she saw the bruised cut on his chin, and immediately raised one eyebrow, her eyes falling back to it and her fingers resisting the urge to touch it.
"I'll explain later," he said, and his hand reached the glass of water in front of him.
"I called. And texted," it was the only thing she allowed herself to say.
"You look stunning," he whispered, and she looked away, smiling at a random guest.
"New shirt, same suit," she pointed out about his looks, focusing on him again.
She noticed. Of course she noticed, Harvey thought.
"It's clean," he shrugged.
"It's not pressed," she turned her head slightly sideways, staring at the messy colar, then back at his eyes. Maybe she would have to be more clear about what she was implying.
"Everyone is talking about how incredible you are for pulling this off," it was his turn to divert his look from her.
"Harvey," she said. A warning that her patience was slim.
"This isn't the place nor the time, Donna," he added as he raised a tumblr, begging the waiter for some relief.
"Fine," she said sipping her wine. "But this conversation is going to happen to-night," she finished, breaking the last word to make her point.
All he did was nod and down his whiskey in one gulp.
Luckily for Harvey, the kitchen had the misfortune of adding walnuts to the salad, as one of Rachel's cousins with a serious allergy realized right before she ate it. That kept Donna busy for a good hour as she pranced in and out of the rooms, asserting the cousin and two other people that nothing else on the menu had any sort of tree nuts in it.
At nearly the end of the night, she looked a bit flustered, but happy everything had worked out. She stood by the stairs saying goodnight as the guests started leaving, as Rachel, Mike, Robert and Laura were giving final hugs downstairs.
Harvey approached her holding a clutch as she finally leaned on the wall for a deep breath as the last relative went down.
"You ok?" he said, showing her the purse and waiting for her confirmation that it did belong to her.
"Yea," she said in an exhale, "but very tired."
"It was a great night, Donna, if it means anything…" he tried to comfort her.
"Except for cousin Anna's near death experience, as she put it herself," she said, finally letting go and resting her head against the wall.
"Well, cousin Anna looked like she was thrilled with all the attention, the goddamn thing wasn't even on her fork!" he chuckled when he saw her laughing, maybe an overly tired laugh but one indeed. "I bet you that was the most interesting thing that happened in her life in years!"
Donna continued quietly snickering and as she slowly focused again, she finally allowed herself to see him.
"Are you okay?" she waited anxiously for his response, and watched as he nodded, retrieving an envelope from his jacket pocket.
"More importantly, now..." Harvey answered, offering her the object. "...you are also."
It took her a second to move and grab the yellow paper, opening to find the flashdrive inside.
"Harvey, what is this?" she asked after a long inhale.
"It's over, Donna," he whispered, walking a step closer. Harvey swallowed dryly, his throat catching an emotion that tried to escape, his eyes blinking a few times to try to hide the wetness. "It's all there. Every picture."
She looked at him, then back at the envelope a few times, to double check that this was actually happening, that he had done it, fixed it, and he was here in one piece to give her the news.
"All…" she tried to speak but bit her inner cheek instead, tears flooding her eyes as she looked away, then to the floor, as a quiet sob escaped her mouth.
"Every single picture is there. It's all there," he took another step toward her as he saw her beginning to sink into the wall, way too close to the staircase.
In an impulse, Donna inhaled deeply and pushed herself from the wall, throwing herself at him, arms around his neck, face buried on his shoulder."
Harvey held her firmly, wrapping his arms around her waist, letting her perfume take over his senses as his nose brushed her neck.
She would want to know how, to find out what exactly happened, to assess the losses and wins, but right now his hug was relieving every tension in her body, the overwhelming pride of earlier dissipating by the second. She pulled him closer and he let her sink deeper into his arms, lowering his hands and slightly lifting her off the floor, hearing her mouth whisper 'thank you' right next to his ear.
She moved her face to look at him, to stare into the eyes of the only person who could have done this for her, found a way to end 20 years of fear and shame and imminent threat, to erase the last few days of anxious waiting.
He leaned his forehead against hers and offered a half smile, and as his eyes looked down to her lips, their timing wasn't just right.
"You guys ready to go?" Mike's voice coming from downstairs startled her, forcing them to disentangle.
"Yup, be right down," he rolled his eyes and offered an answer as she patted her dress, the envelope still clinched on her right hand. She handed back to him to put away for now.
"Come on, I'll take you home," he offered as they made their way down the spiral staircase, one step at a time.
They entered her apartment laughing at how little Harvey knew the lyrics of a Beatles song that had played on the radio. Donna was baffled at how he couldn't remember two verses, but easily memorized entire legal codes.
"I'm used to listening to Jazz, there's no lyrics in those!" he said, trying to make his point that he didn't have to necessarily know John Lennon's words to claim he appreciated it.
"No, sir, that doesn't make sense! I bet you know every note of your dad's songs, and songs from other players as well...so just admit it you are not interested!" she rebutted with an argument she knew to be correct.
"Okay, fine, I do know the notes, I guess I...I just don't pay too much attention to pop culture, that's all!" Harvey added, knowing he'd get a reaction, and was somewhat delighted when she gasped loudly.
"Pop? Pop culture? The Beatles are a classic, Specter. A timeless classic! You should apologize to the Universe for saying that!" Donna feigned anger with a raised voice, but deep down she realized how she hadn't laughed like that in a while. "Admit it, Harvey!"
"But I do like the Beatles, Donna, I can sing you a song if you'd like… I just can't do it if I'm feeling pressured!"
"No you can't…" she shook her head in disbelief and went on to boil some water in the kettle.
"Okay, well, you make us some tea and I'm gonna go use the bathroom and prove to you that I can sing a Beatles song when I'm calm and, uh, comfortable!"
"Ha! Bullshit! I'm not falling for that...you wanna go look up lyrics on your phone, so if you wanna go relieve yourself, leave the phone here!" she challenged him.
"Now I'm the one appalled at the lack of trust you have in me, but fine! Here!" he said, placing the phone on the kitchen island. "Now if you excuse me, I am going to sum up my inner Paul McCartney and bring you a full song, you'll see!"
"You can't sum up someone who isn't dead!" she yelled as he walked away, leaving her smiling to herself in the kitchen, taking two mugs, milk and sugar and setting them on the counter.
While she waited for the water to boil, she momentarily sighed away the daydream and finally removed her heels, tossing them to the side. Even though her body felt the exhaustion, her heart beat too fast at the sheer happiness she felt in the past hours, and her stomach fluttered just by his presence. He was there, all hers, carrying her salvation. She felt like a teenage girl, nothing to stop them this time, and her feelings overflowed to an embarrassing level that was obvious and plastered on her face, easy to spot on her beaming eyes every time they met his. The way they held hands in the car, the way he stood closely in the elevator, and how he landed his palm on her waist as she opened the door, every detail was familiar and excitingly new at the same time. She slowly moved the mugs away from the sink, in an hopeful attempt to avoid any interruption like before, and bit her inner cheek at the anticipation.
She was distracted from pouring the hot water by his phone lighting up with a text message. She looked unintentionally, but the name on the screen caught her attention.
"Thank you for dinner, drinks and everything else! I loved how well we connected and hope to see you again soon in NY!
She felt as if her heart dropped to her stomach. Her throat tightened and a feeling of dread overcame all her senses. This wasn't right, it couldn't be.
There wasn't enough time for Donna to think of what to say, or to even think at all, as Harvey walked back into the living room, tie on his hand, top buttons opened up and a smiled that belonged to someone who was enjoying the company and foreseeing how the rest of the night would go.
His smile immediately faded as he saw her face while she held his phone, her demeanor completely different than mere minutes ago. It was almost as if he had entered a different reality, a total new scene in a movie.
He felt like he had just been handed the worst cards in a poker game.
Luck can change on a wind sweep.
